Guys how do you feel being asked out?

[down hearted]

If a girl approached you instead of the traditional guy approaching a girl? Would this be weird to you if she was the one to initiate?

One of my really good guy friends was working one day (he's a nurse), taking care of a patient, when the patient's granddaughter was immediately attracted to him. no words were said, the granddaughter approached him and gave him her number and now their dating. He told me that at one point after they got together she said to him that she knows what she wants and goes for it.

i truly admire her confidence, i am way to shy for this however.

So guys, how do you like been approached rather than the approachees? Or do you like been the ones who ask out?

[Vintage79]

If a girl approached you instead of the traditional guy approaching a girl? Would this be weird to you if she was the one to initiate?

One of my really good guy friends was working one day (he's a nurse), taking care of a patient, when the patient's granddaughter was immediately attracted to him. no words were said, the granddaughter approached him and gave him her number and now their dating. He told me that at one point after they got together she said to him that she knows what she wants and goes for it.

i truly admire her confidence, i am way to shy for this however.

So guys, how do you like been approached rather than the approachees? Or do you like been the ones who ask out?

 

I like it - super shy girls, girls that play games, and those that just sit in the corner and pout because some guy won't go chat with them are pretty lame. Confidence and going for what you want are almost universally attractive.

[ChicagoSparty]

I've had a lot of girls ask me out. It's nice. In fact, it's so nice that I'm hesitant to do it myself anymore.

[carhill]

We had a thread on this topic recently where members were polled on men being asked out.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/496552-guys-how-often-do-you-get-asked-out

 

It's never happened to me, save for married women, but at this point in life I'd see it as unremarkable. Dating 'rules' tend to get more fuzzy at my age. Whatever happens, happens. Think less, feel more.

[Qboro90]

I definitely will give a girl credit if she approaches me. Knowing the general stigma and stereotypes when it comes to dating and how it's usually left up to the guy to initiate. Give a girl an immediate respect for having the confidence and tact to come up to me and even just say "hey what's up, I'm ____ , what's your name?".... Just doing that is a huge deal in a guys mind. Skips all the bs about us worrying if coming up to you is gonna annoy or bother you and at the same time tells us that you're confident in yourself and sociable at the very least. Sociability is big key for me in a girl so all the times I've been approached I'll at the very least talk to her for a while and see where it goes, and if given her number id reach out majority of the time.

 

That being said, don't just think it's an automatic win if you go up to a guy. It's the same rules that apply for a guy approaching a girl. Don't be overly aggressive or hands on... Basically don't come off like you do this a lot and can get anything you want. There's a fine line between cute and needy/aggressive. Sounds like you wouldn't have an issue based of your personality description so I'm guessing a guy would know that you typically don't approach every guy you like. So just be natural and a simply "hello" and introducing yourself will go a longggggg way.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

would be awesome, nice, if it happened more often

[Clarence_Boddicker]

Feels normal to me. I've only been asked out, I've never asked a girl out. I have no issues with it at all.

[down hearted]

have any of you guys actually dated a girl who asked you out? Did it turn out well?

[Qboro90]

have any of you guys actually dated a girl who asked you out? Did it turn out well?

 

Yea I've dated a few girls that made the first move and asked me out. I didn't end up marrying any of them but that had nothing to do with them being the ones to initiate. Some i saw a handful of times, others I dated for pretty substantial amount of time. Looking back now also, if they hadn't approached me I never would have met some of them, and therefore never experienced that person in my life. That would've sucked as I can't say any of those girls were regrettable or that I would go back and change anything.

 

One I recall came up to me while at a friends graduation party and introduced herself and we ended up dating for a year. Had she not come up to me I don't think I even would've noticed she was at the event, simply Bc of the amount of people there. So I'm glad she did and that year with her we had a lot of fun and I have great memories of her.

[popcornpuff]

I've had a few girls ask me out in the past and ended up dating some of them for a while. It felt really nice to be asked out and I didn't behave any differently on those dates then if I had been the one to ask them out.

[Shining One]

have any of you guys actually dated a girl who asked you out? Did it turn out well?

Yes. Two of my longest relationships started out this way.

[loveflower]

oh, great! now girls have to ask men out now...

 

any wonder I don't want to a woman nowadays?

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Yes. Two of my longest relationships started out this way.

 

very awesome to hear that

[readynow]

I have never (and could never) ask a man out. I would always feel like he didn't like me enough to approach me and is just dating me out of pity.

 

However, I strike up conversations with men all the time in different settings for chats sake whether or not I was in a relationship. If he wants to take me out though, he would have to ask.

[Got it]

oh, great! now girls have to ask men out now...

 

any wonder I don't want to a woman nowadays?

 

No, no one is saying they have to but what is the big deal? I have asked a guy out before, it isn't a major deal. If I want something/someone I will go after it.

 

Sorry but if you want to date someone you should be aware that you may need to go after what you want or you won't get that opportunity by waiting. And losing the opportunity is a bigger deal to me than growing a pair and just spitting it out.

[road]

Would it be bad for a woman to ask me out?

 

 

That could be a good and a bad answer.

 

 

Good to me.

 

 

Bad to my wife.

 

 

Worse if my wife said: good you want him you can have him.

 

 

Though I never had a girl ask me out when I was young and single. If I was asked out by a woman I would of not been offended. In fact if I found her attractive I would of been very happy, and would of gone out on the first of many dates with her.

 

Though the problem would of been what do I say to let her down easy if I felt no attraction towards her. Or would I have been nice and went out on a 1st date anyway.

 

When I was young I had a few woman start chatting with me. I think they were trying to show me that they would accept a date offer from me. They were not for me. So I let there indirect move/conversation end.

 

I remember chatting up women that I felt attracted to date. I remember them walking the line yet not cross the line by being overt, rude, or hostile, yet subtle in making it clear to me do not ask them out.

 

 

And, though disappointed for the moment I accepted their decision because I understood they did not find me attractive the way I did not attraction to some women.

[down hearted]

I have never (and could never) ask a man out. I would always feel like he didn't like me enough to approach me and is just dating me out of pity.

 

However, I strike up conversations with men all the time in different settings for chats sake whether or not I was in a relationship. If he wants to take me out though, he would have to ask.

 

I share your opinion on this one, i honestly admire the confidence of a woman asking a man they like out. I would be too embarrassed to get rejected though, or afraid i would come off as too desperate, but then i think life is so unexpected and short who cares, why not right? And also, guys have to go through this every time, when asking a woman they like and be rejected and most of the times women can tend to be a little cocky with the compliments and make them out to be a weirdos when in fact they just want to get to know us.

 

Relationships can be so simple yet so darn complicated. Its one big game

[Gloria25]

I don't believe women should ask men out...they should show signals of interest, attraction, and availability and then step back and let the man do his thing.

 

We can't fight biology. Men hunt and pursue...PERIOD. Also, when a man has strong interest, he is no longer "shy" or whatever excuses out there...he gets off his duff and asks you out.

 

Even if/when you ask out a man he may go along with it - it won't last for long cuz you took away the "hunt" for him and/or he probably wasn't that into you.

 

In my current situation, I've asked out dude and got shot down. Every time I try to approach him, he hides. He isn't like that with women he dated and is with in real life. When it came to her, he didn't hide, he wasn't "shy"...he made it happen. He made the moves.

 

Now, some will also say, some men are intimidated by a woman they show strong attraction to and in fear of being rejected may not want to ask her out and allow her to make the moves. Well, still, at the end of the day, he doesn't have enough interest to ask me out cuz he's not looking for a woman he has a strong attraction towards. So, why am I gonna embarrass myself and ask him out only to get rejected and/or come off as desperate?

 

And, I've done enough asking with him. He's not interested. So, hope he's happy cuz I'm so freakin' done. One year and he's still wondering if I'm gonna reject him? **pfft**

 

So, sorry, IMO, it's better to let him make the moves - that way you know for sure he's interested. When you ask him out, he may respond, but more than likely he had lukewarm interest.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

I don't believe women should ask men out...they should show signals of interest, attraction, and availability and then step back and let the man do his thing.

 

We can't fight biology. Men hunt and pursue...PERIOD. Also, when a man has strong interest, he is no longer "shy" or whatever excuses out there...he gets off his duff and asks you out.

 

Even if/when you ask out a man he may go along with it - it won't last for long cuz you took away the "hunt" for him and/or he probably wasn't that into you.

 

In my current situation, I've asked out dude and got shot down. Every time I try to approach him, he hides. He isn't like that with women he dated and is with in real life. When it came to her, he didn't hide, he wasn't "shy"...he made it happen. He made the moves.

 

Now, some will also say, some men are intimidated by a woman they show strong attraction to and in fear of being rejected may not want to ask her out and allow her to make the moves. Well, still, at the end of the day, he doesn't have enough interest to ask me out cuz he's not looking for a woman he has a strong attraction towards. So, why am I gonna embarrass myself and ask him out only to get rejected and/or come off as desperate?

 

And, I've done enough asking with him. He's not interested. So, hope he's happy cuz I'm so freakin' done. One year and he's still wondering if I'm gonna reject him? **pfft**

 

So, sorry, IMO, it's better to let him make the moves - that way you know for sure he's interested. When you ask him out, he may respond, but more than likely he had lukewarm interest.

Another typical woman response, people who say men are hunters, are you saying that men literally hunted for women back in the day in terms of attempting to kill?

[Gloria25]

Another typical woman response, people who say men are hunters, are you saying that men literally hunted for women back in the day in terms of attempting to kill?

 

I've backed up my "typical woman response" with my real life situation...

 

Dude did not respond to me asking him out - yet for other women he "hunted"

 

Explain to me why he left it up to me to do the approaching vs him getting off his duff to approach, date, and get committed to other women...

 

I'm all ears...

[Male]

she knows what she wants and goes for it.

i truly admire her confidence, i am way to shy for this however.

 

Just because she gave him her number doesnt mean she is "confident".

 

What does confidence signify in that situation...that she wont get turned down? Nobody knows that ahead of time. Its a risk for anyone. And if she did get turned down, doesn that mean she lacks confidence? There are confident people that do approach, and there are confident people that dont approach.

 

If I go up and ask a woman for her phone number tomorrow while at a store, it doesnt automatically mean that I am any more confident than a guy that didnt approach her. It simply means that I was willing to take a chance.

 

 

As for being approached by a woman, I've never had it happen. But I think its awesome that some women refuse to follow the stupid f'n 100 year old dating rules that many women insist on hanging on to for all of eternity. There should be more women that approach.

[Gloria25]

The problem with just women sending out signals and not asking him out is that many of the signals are ambiguous. There's room for even what appears to be a strong signal of interest to be interpreted in other ways. So a man still ends up taking the chance of misreading the signs and embarassing himself because all she was doing was being friendly. Flirting is ambiguous because he can't be sure that she isn't flirty with other guys too. Anything that she does the same with others doesn't count as a signal even if it is an offer to buy him a drink or touching him, etc.

 

Different women are going to give out different signals too.

 

I'm gonna run a list here of my attempts to get him to go out with me - which I have been doing for a WHOLE year and ask what of what I'm doing is "ambiguous"

 

-I approached him first (a year ago) and tried to chat him up..but HE shot me down by informing me that he was dating other people.

 

-When I thought I saw him checking me out after our first chat, AGAIN, I approached him and gave him my tel.

 

-When I gave him my tel and invited him over to my place. I even put in for a day off work to make this time to be with him. And he changed his mind w/o even telling me. I found out when I went to follow up with him. If I didn't follow up, I would have been sitting like an idiot thinking we were still gonna meet up.

 

-I, have tried on several occasions to simply chat him up. I'll spy and see if he's available and approach and chat him up only for him to be short and abrupt with me.

 

-In instances were we cross paths, I try to use that opportunity to sneak in a convo and he's gone in less than 60 min or he just doesn't respond, so I get embarrassed and try to play it off and walk away.

 

-I've asked him to help me out with stuff at my place, which would require me giving him the key to my place and he said he's too busy.

 

-I tried buying something for him that was inexpensive and hoped that would open up the door to a convo and he told me "no thanks". I tried again to buy him something and spent almost a week having a nervous breakdown cuz I waivered between fear of his rejection of the thing I bought, anger, sadness, and excitement in hopes he'd like what I got for him and the kindness, care, and thought I put into it. So, I ended up just dropping off at his place cuz I couldn't take another round of embarrassment and rejection.

 

-If he sees me approaching, he'll literally speed off and run inside his place. Same thing if I try to catch him making eye contact with me.

 

-I've even overcome my embarrassment of him seeing me when I'm "not so pretty" and make sure I wave "Hi" with a big smile - to let him know I noticed him.

 

-I used to intentionally pretend to go and get mail, take a walk, drive by so I can have an opportunity to see him and wave "hi".

 

Ok, there's more I've done here, but what I listed is enough...So, what have I done here to lead him to think my signals of interest are "ambiguous"? Pleeze, I'm dying to know.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Just because she gave him her number doesnt mean she is "confident".

 

What does confidence signify in that situation...that she wont get turned down? Nobody knows that ahead of time. Its a risk for anyone. And if she did get turned down, doesn that mean she lacks confidence? There are confident people that do approach, and there are confident people that dont approach.

 

If I go up and ask a woman for her phone number tomorrow while at a store, it doesnt automatically mean that I am any more confident than a guy that didnt approach her. It simply means that I was willing to take a chance.

 

 

As for being approached by a woman, I've never had it happen. But I think its awesome that some women refuse to follow the stupid f'n 100 year old dating rules that many women insist on hanging on to for all of eternity. There should be more women that approach.

 

Ya those animal mating habit links I posted should show that it doesn't have to be so one-sided

[loveflower]

I've backed up my "typical woman response" with my real life situation...

 

Dude did not respond to me asking him out - yet for other women he "hunted"

 

Explain to me why he left it up to me to do the approaching vs him getting off his duff to approach, date, and get committed to other women...

 

I'm all ears...

 

Did the women he hunt showed interest in him?

 

Just want to know what you meant by hunt.

[Gloria25]

Did the women he hunt showed interest in him?

 

Just want to know what you meant by hunt.

 

I meant he "pursued", "asked out", "took the initiative" with women he was interested in. He didn't with me because he's not interested in me - even though I asked him out, pursued him, etc.

 

In other words, all this "women should make the first moves", "ask men out", and/or "pursue" men is wrong, IMO. Cuz, when a man isn't interested in you, he isn't asking you out, he isn't pursuing you....it's not that he's waiting on you to make a move on him.