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No Pasta Lunch


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I was having lunch with my girlfriend and her cousin. I already passed the lunch with her sister test, so this one should have been easy. For reasons of privacy from the Google sleuths...I will replace the actual food name with the word "pasta". Suffice to say the actual food name is one that is cheap and oft used by those on the tightest budgets.

 

Yesterday a man approached our table and said "is that you Gold Pile?, I see you're not eating pasta anymore". He laughed and walked off.

Many years ago I was a speaker at a business convention. The common theme for all the speakers was to be about how they economized in the early days of their business. Trouble is that I had no such lean times, business was good from day one. So I made up a brief blurb about living off pasta during my first few lean months in business. A local newspaper in the convention city wrote an article on the 10 of us who spoke. My story was fully half the article content. The author exaggerated that I had (and still was!) living solely on pasta meals. This escaped my attention till someone in my area came across the article. The gang at work celebrated my birthday with a giant bowl of pasta. I told them pasta was ok but hardly a staple of my diet. I fired off a letter to the paper's editor also.

 

So it has been now for many years, someone finds the report and my legend as a consumer of pasta grows. When I next attended that convention, I was greeted with "hey pasta boy". A few have gone so far as to have a bowl of pasta sent to my table. I've gone so far to claim that I don't really like pasta, but nobody believes me. 6 months ago I decided to make a $500 scholarship contribution to a local school. I was hardly the most generous of the many who contributed at a one hour ceremony. The local weekly paper ran a front page picture of me with the caption: Pasta miser makes generous contribution. Predictably the article said I'd saved a mint by exclusively eating pasta.

Try explaining all this to my GF who thought she knew me, and her cousin. The more I protest the story, the more it spreads. I once ordered fish & chips at a bar-n-grill, Another patron approached and said I was liar when I went around claiming to live off pasta. I dang near got in a fist fight. All this from a relatively small convention speech for people in the hospitality soap industry.

For the last time....I don't like pasta that much!

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Maybe you should approach the pasta companies and offer to be their front man, you might as well earn some cash off your predicament!!

Crazy story man, sorry to hear of your pasta nightmare.

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Dude just change the sauce and eat the pasta...

 

Chuck a bit of basil in there or some origano... You can also shove some vegetables and meat or fish...

 

Embrace your pastadom and to hell with your girlfriend and her cousin... Tell them to go rustle you up a spag bol... ;)

 

I love pasta... and rice... and beans... and chocolate... and tomatoes... and basil... In fact I am going to go into town and secretly sniff basil plants now...

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Maybe you should approach the pasta companies and offer to be their front man, you might as well earn some cash off your predicament!!

Crazy story man, sorry to hear of your pasta nightmare.

That's not a bad Idea at all. Just like Jared the subway guy. er....not exactly like him.
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Dude just change the sauce and eat the pasta...

 

Chuck a bit of basil in there or some origano... You can also shove some vegetables and meat or fish...

 

Embrace your pastadom and to hell with your girlfriend and her cousin... Tell them to go rustle you up a spag bol... ;)

 

I love pasta... and rice... and beans... and chocolate... and tomatoes... and basil... In fact I am going to go into town and secretly sniff basil plants now...

Use caution Tootheloo, the same situation could befall you.
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