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How to identify the thin line


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Before I get into another relationship, which will probably be a while, I truly need to know at what point is it fine for a person to tell their partner something that's bothering them and at what point is it considered complaining about everything or making your partner feel like nothing they do is right? Also how about wanting to spend time with them and knowing at what point is it that you're coming off "jealous" or "possessive" like you want all of their time? I've been accused of this in my last relationship and maybe I did, maybe I didn't, but he did some foul things too. I just need some insight on that because I was thinking about that on my drive home from work last night. The next relationship I get into, I want to be able to at least have an idea where that fine line is and how to identify the difference between these things.

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StalwartMind

There is no one answer to this. My answer will likely be different to that of the next person, but to me it is clear from day one that she should always feel free to express to me if there is something that bothers her. Feeling comfortable, safe and wanting to be around your partner is crucial, so why put up with things that bother you. Molding yourself to fit your partner without compromising yourself isn't that difficult, at least if you are with someone who is very right for you.

 

When it comes to spending time with your partner, we are all like day and night too. Some want to spend every moment together, while others will want space. Again if you are with someone very compatible your wishes should be in alignment. Some people, including myself are also completely fine with both spending all time together as well as having alone time. While I don't feel jealousy myself, (we can't control what other people end up doing anyway), I still feel it's great to show others consideration if they have had bad experiences in the past. Once again making your partner feel comfortable to be themselves is crucial, but at the same time no one should tolerate hysterical crazy behavior.

 

If two people are sensible, they can talk about anything, without it should remotely offend anyone. Having an open mind, solid attitude, honesty and not blocking off communication, you literally have some of the best core ingredients for a healthy relationship. I can't tell you who's to blame for your past relationship, but considering how many people only choose to see things from their own perspective, you can probably answer this best yourself. I welcome brutal honesty especially because I want those around me to know they can tell me anything, especially if something bothers them. Perhaps I'm lucky, I don't think so, but my relationships and friendships have always been smooth. Some people just have a very soothing aura that makes people feel relaxed when in their company, I do think this is right up my alley of how I like things and also how to be myself.

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