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GUYS...why do guys sleep with girls they're not attracted to?


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I have a best guy friend Evan, we met in college and we sometimes discuss our personal lives with eachother 'cause we like to hear perspectives and advice from the opposite sex. anyways, this December of last year he started dating a girl he met on a dating app. truthfully once he met her in person, he didn't think she was attractive. there was honestly no chemistry between these two, she had A LOT of baggage from her past, and Ev would constantly confide in me that he didn't really like her, yet he dated her for like 2-3 months 'cause he wanted to be "the nice guy". not only that but he did have sex with her, and more than once. I've known Evan for a few years he's like a brother and what he does with his life is up to him but that sitch makes me wonder why guys sleep with girls they're not attracted to. He'll recount that experience 'cause it's actually his biggest regret, he doesn't like remembering that he dated and slept with a girl he didn't like. I can understand a hit and quit with a girl you don't really find attractive, but why multiple times? I feel I can't picture it 'cause I've only had sex twice but both were boyfriends and I was attracted to them.

my friend wasn't a virgin and neither was the girl, so there was no "first time experience" as reasoning for why they slept together. and although he is comfortable talking to me about this stuff, even he can't seem to explain why he slept with this girl. I know he's not a Jersey Shore type of guy. I can't say for sure if he was desperate or SHE was, cause I know she REALLY liked my friend. Sometimes I'll just ask him if it's like a "might as well just let it happen" experience, where ya know it's coming so no point in stopping it. IDK. they weren't ever drunk, they weren't "f*ck buddies. The girl legit liked my friend she was crazy about him, he just didn't like her all that much.

he was trying to be the nice guy, he knew she had issues from her past (abusive boyfriends, abusive parents) etc and he actually DIDNT want to break up with her cause her felt like he was her only friend and the only one who could keep her from spiraling into a depression again. so no he wasn't using her, he just didn't know how to get out but I know he felt guilty cause he told me "I just don't want to be THAT GUY, that has sex with a girl and then dumps her"

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Clarence_Boddicker

Males are biologically programed to spread their seed widely.

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Shining One

Men like to have sex. Comparatively speaking, most women have a much easier time finding a sexual partner than most men. As a result, men will have to lower their requirements to find a willing sexual partner.

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you're female, obviously. you're digging wayyyy too deep for answers. men will take sex when offered from someone decently acceptable to them, even if they have expressed other sentiments to you. he dated her for 3 months, so something was there. actions speak louder than words.. watch actions.

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There's no deep profound answer to be had here: guys like to get laid.

 

Males are biologically programed to spread their seed widely.

 

Men like to have sex. Comparatively speaking, most women have a much easier time finding a sexual partner than most men. As a result, men will have to lower their requirements to find a willing sexual partner.

 

all of the above

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autumnnight

Because getting laid is more important to boys than a woman's feelings. MEN on the other hand are different...

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Most giys can bust one out with just about anyone. It will still feel good.

 

I guess after less than 20 posts, the mystery has been solved.

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I have known some guy's hang in a bar out into the early am to pick do a 1 or a 2 on a Saturday night just so they can brag they got laid on Monday morning at work.

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Men aren't like women, IMO.

 

If they just wanna get laid, they can do it with anything that has a hole and a pulse.

 

One time I went out with some co-workers for drinks after work. One of them, with a saggy but, over done make-up, skin over exposed to the sun, and waay older than me was getting hit on by two younger, handsome, like 10's military guys.

 

For the life of me, I just didn't get it. Here I am, hot, young, attractive and definitely no saggy behind - "athletic" ok? Yet, she's getting hit on by those hot dudes.

 

It took me a while to figure out the guys just wanted to get laid and figured out they'd have to jump through less hoops to do it with my co-worker.

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For the life of me, I just didn't get it. Here I am, hot, young, attractive and definitely no saggy behind - "athletic" ok? Yet, she's getting hit on by those hot dudes.

 

It took me a while to figure out the guys just wanted to get laid and figured out they'd have to jump through less hoops to do it with my co-worker.

 

wow...what a revelation!

 

um...so basically guys are pigs. they are lazy and too coward to go after better things.

Edited by loveflower
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I think only guys who aren't good enough to get what they want settle for the ones they aren't attracted to.

Your friend was dating that girl because he had no one else.

If a guy is confident in himself, if he (believes he can) get better ones, he won't have sex with the unattractive ones.

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Even good looking guys have sex with "ugly" women. It's not just desperate below average guys, look at groupies for example

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They all look the same with the lights off :laugh:

 

I think with men it doesn't take much attraction to have sex, and don't confuse having sex with being his SO

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salparadise

 

um...so basically guys are pigs. they are lazy and too coward to go after better things.

 

Yea, I suppose... if you consider fulfillment of the biological imperative being a cowardly, lazy pig.

 

If the more attractive women weren't so damn focused on optimizing for looks, wealth and status, plus requiring commitment and exchange of valuable consideration, then men would most certainly boink more attractive option.

 

I mean seriously... what do you expect? That men will just do without until hell freezes over? What do women really want... one or three active guys who are dong her and all the rest standing on line with their fingers crossed?

 

Sure, that's understandable, but men and women are working different strategies. While women optimize for genetic quality and resources, men know that they have to sew the seed if they want to reap the harvest.

 

And when you get to the heart of it... it's all pink on the inside.

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wow...what a revelation!

 

um...so basically guys are pigs. they are lazy and too coward to go after better things.

 

One isnt better than the other. It all feels the same on the inside.

 

All of this is stuff ive always,said about guys. Now when i get heat, i can reference this thread. :)

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wow...what a revelation!

 

um...so basically guys are pigs. they are lazy and too coward to go after better things.

 

I think the thing is that if a guy is looking "just for sex" he's not gonna put much effort and/or stock into who he's gonna do it with.

 

When he's looking for someone serious, he'll be more discerning and put more effort into courting/dating her.

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regine_phalange

Yeah, what a nice guy. Of course he used her because he knew she was an easy target due to her issues. I have nothing against men sleeping with women they don't like that much but this kind of loverboys make me sick!

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1) Men like sex, they like to have it often and their urges can get quite strong. For a lot of them, it's nearly as important as food, drink and shelter. Some guys measure their own manhood by their ability to attract women (even those they're not attracted to)...that's a bad idea IMO, but it is what it is. There's a reason why the rare guy who seems to shy away from women and sexual opportunities is often made fun of and viewed as weird, a loser, a wimp etc. by many of his peers (of both genders but especially his male peers). Such rare guys are hard for most others to understand.

 

2) Sex is VERY easy for 96-98% of men to get without paying for it. Some will take almost any opportunity they can get. Others are more discerning - and will turn down or refuse to pursue some opportunities. Many guys barely even have to try...just put themselves out there, lighten up (i.e. show their fun side), socialize a bit, be a little assertive and the opportunities will naturally present themselves. Most of the guys who wait until they're dating someone they're attracted to and/or otherwise have decent standards are simply exercising self-control...which is mature, admirable and respectable, of course.

 

3) Sometimes, a guy's needs just gotta be met.

 

Do the math.

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