Bobbi7 Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I'm in my 30's and doing the whole dating scene thing. Sometimes if feels that I'm "behind in life" because everyone is already settled down with kids, and it feels silly telling them about "my little date" that I went on. I mean, a date to them probably happened like 15 years ago, while I'm a late bloomer...so its like they are advanced in life stages... Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Nope. For every one of them who are looking at you pitifully, there's probably 5 more who are envious. Of course, the way they convey how they really feel will probably come out exactly the same: "When are you going to grow up and settle down?!?" Yanno, the ol' "Misery Loves Company" syndrome. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 And that's why I don't hang with married people w/kids... Face it, they have things that are important to them (diaper genies, kid's homework) and so do you (a date Saturday nite)...nothing's right or wrong, just "different". When I first moved into my current hood, several married peeps came over to say "Hi", invite me over and all that and I just flaked and/or ignored their invites...Not gonna waste my time trying to form connections with people I have nothing in common with. Worst then they might feel threatened that cuz you're single you got eyes on their man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
compulsivedancer Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 In my experience as a married person with lots of single friends (this seems to have reversed on me...now I'm single with lots of married friends), I don't see anything weird about it. And it's kind of fun to live vicariously through your single friends, especially if you've got kids at home. People cycle in and out of various statuses throughout their life (single, married, divorced, widowed, etc). Seeing how other people live is part of the fun of life. For some reason, no one in my and my ex's circle of friends had kids, so I kind of felt like I was missing out on a part of life, not getting to see how that part of life functions. Variety is the spice of life, and who wants to just be around other people like them? Link to post Share on other sites
misspond Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Although I'm older than you OP I find my married/coupled friends are more interested in my love life than I'd assumed they'd be. To be fair this is because they care for me (as I do them) and would like to see me meet someone and be happy. We're all at similar but different stages in lots of ways - once couple married for 10 years with grown up children from her previous marriage, another couple married last weekend with no kids, another couple living together 15 years with a son the same age as my daughter. Then there are the younger single friends, younger coupled friends, older newly single friends.... the list goes on, the people I care about fit all kinds of boxes but what we have in common is enjoyment of the time we spend together, hence being friends. So no, I never feel silly telling them about my dire/potentially amusing dating life and they seek me out to find out what's going on when I least expect them to. Because we're friends. Don't feel silly talking to them about your experiences, if they're your friends they'll be interested. Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Hell no. I'm 27 and none of my friends are married/engaged yet so I guess it doesn't apply to me, but when I've been single it never felt silly telling friends in long term cohabiting relationships I was going on dates so I can't imagine it being much different if they were married. Everyone who's single ends up going on dates. Many marriages and relationships end anyway. There's nothing to say that you won't be the married person they're talking to you about re their date in five years time when they've just gotten divorced! True friends are interested in their their friends' life experiences, whatever they are. A real friend would never laugh and put something down as being 'a silly little thing' if it's something important enough for them to bring to the table. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 married or single, one can date and romance the other. The underlying myth is that a couple in a committed relationship suddenly stop the dating or romance once the ink is dry. Now that I think about it, one of the key elements in a healthy relationship that has gone the way of marriage and family IS to have adult date time with the other. Most persons who are friends can be supportive of the one still in the dating phase, because really...dating isn't exclusive to the single lifestyle. My uncle surprises my Aunt with date night and getaways. Its rather charming. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SJS Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 How are you supposed to get to know someone if you don't go on a date? Even married people go on dates. Don't overthink it. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts