Do you easily connect to people or does it rarely happen for you?

[awooga]

A friend of mine just started seeing a new boyfriend and it's her third boyfriend in the last year and to me I kinda think that's a lot but not that it bothers me it just got me thinking do some people just like the idea of having a partner pretty much all the time and never want to spend time being single so allow themselves to get attached to people more easily then others?

 

For me personally I find it's rare that I actually meet someone who I just click with both on a personal and romantic level. I'd say in the past 5 years there have only been two girls who I can genuinely say I have had strong feelings for. It just doesn't seem to happen for me that often and I don't think I'm ultra picky or choosy with who I like I can go out and see a good looking girl any day but it's rare I meet someone who I just have that connection with.

 

I'd rather be single and wait until I meet someone I really want a relationship with rather then just saying okay lets get together with someone who I might like, but not really have strong feelings for just for the sake of being in a relationship.

 

Do you find it easy to meet people you connect with or like me is it a rare thing?

[Popsicle]

It sounds like you are speaking about two different things in this post. One being ones ability to connect with others, and two being whether or not a person can tolerate being alone.

 

Yes, I know people who can't be alone. I know several people who fit this mold. That is their perogative.

 

I usually connect with people easily (when I want to) but I am not afraid to be alone so that doesn't necessarily always end up being a relationship.

[carhill]

Do you find it easy to meet people you connect with or like me is it a rare thing?

 

If you mean the instant buzz in the balls and easily flowing and intimate conversation thingie, maybe once or twice in my life. In a more general sense, connecting with strangers where we feel like the time passes quickly and we part feeling like we know each other, all the time. I've tested this many times, or reflected upon it, when traveling around the world and interacting with strangers of all cultures.

 

In fact, now that I think about it, I'm amazed that I ever got married at all. Heh.

[ZA Dater]

This post is so apt because I was thinking about this today and its sort of hanging over me like a mist.

 

Hand on heart I can say there have only ever been two I connected with well, one was good, the other exceptional. Neither wanted me but that's a separate issue. Rarely do I connected with anyone.

 

Being able to connect and being wowed is an extremely special experience, one I think everyone should experience even briefly.

[GravityMan]

Connecting with someone on a deep level where we just "click"? That doesn't happen very often for me.

 

OTOH, just being able to relate to peers and other people, generally speaking? That's much easier.

 

Relating to people (students in class, coworkers, women/men [i.e. opposite sex], etc.) is an essential life skill to have. People who are poor at that tend to have difficulty in some aspects of life, including dating, relationships, and forming good friendships.

[amaysngrace]

Your friend went through three girls in the past year and you call that "connection"?

 

Nope sorry. That's sex.

[Ninjainpajamas]

I've always had a fairly easy time with women, meaning I never really felt this inability to connect and relate to them...so in that way I always felt like i had "options" and the ability to pursue something romantic with them, but it's often my choice not to or to what extent I want to pursue that.

 

In man speak, I could have gotten laid a lot more, it was my choice not to...which is baffling to most men why a man would not, and who knows maybe when I'm old I'll kick myself in the @ss with regrets, maybe for now I just have the luxury of having principles.

 

And I am fairly selective in whom I'd actually consider exceptional.

 

I think if you have a difficult time connecting to people, I personally think it says more about you than other people.

 

I can connect to people, lots of people...men and women. It doesn't mean these people are my soulmates, or the left shoe to my right, but it's not like i cannot connect and communicate, and find SOMETHING in common with someone else. I can always find something that connects me or relates me to that person, it's never this blank slate...we might have a similar sense of humor, thoughts about a particular subject or situation, a perspective of something in which we share, similar values or beliefs in some way...and that's what you expand upon to get to know people and more comfortable with them, if you can't do that then you're just being very one-dimensional and likely need to work on your social skills.

 

People who are always looking for this "perfect fit", this "amazing" person usually imagine that person rather than have the ability to truly connect with someone and it's often a one-sided experience. These people are not typically that great at gauging how someone else feels or thinks, they're in their own head and world, and they think everything revolves around that. So what they think and feel, in their mind, makes it true...which is usually not the case with people, people have their own feelings and thoughts and you need to be aware that no matter how confident you may be, you need to be able to understand them better before making that determination.

 

To really really connect with someone, can be a bit "rare" but I think a lot of it has to do with you...I think people prevent themselves more than they have an ability to connect with others...at least some of the time. I think it really depends on you and how you express yourself and what you share, and most people are scared to do that. I think the more willing you are to take those leaps in the more you are capable of receiving back, which I don't think you necessarily know what one can offer if you're always sizing up the other person, and wondering if they are "perfect" first. I don't know, I think people focus on the wrong things in "love" personally and it says more about their personal issues than anything else.

[ZA Dater]

I've always had a fairly easy time with women, meaning I never really felt this inability to connect and relate to them...so in that way I always felt like i had "options" and the ability to pursue something romantic with them, but it's often my choice not to or to what extent I want to pursue that.

 

In man speak, I could have gotten laid a lot more, it was my choice not to...which is baffling to most men why a man would not, and who knows maybe when I'm old I'll kick myself in the @ss with regrets, maybe for now I just have the luxury of having principles.

 

And I am fairly selective in whom I'd actually consider exceptional.

 

I think if you have a difficult time connecting to people, I personally think it says more about you than other people.

 

I can connect to people, lots of people...men and women. It doesn't mean these people are my soulmates, or the left shoe to my right, but it's not like i cannot connect and communicate, and find SOMETHING in common with someone else. I can always find something that connects me or relates me to that person, it's never this blank slate...we might have a similar sense of humor, thoughts about a particular subject or situation, a perspective of something in which we share, similar values or beliefs in some way...and that's what you expand upon to get to know people and more comfortable with them, if you can't do that then you're just being very one-dimensional and likely need to work on your social skills.

 

People who are always looking for this "perfect fit", this "amazing" person usually imagine that person rather than have the ability to truly connect with someone and it's often a one-sided experience. These people are not typically that great at gauging how someone else feels or thinks, they're in their own head and world, and they think everything revolves around that. So what they think and feel, in their mind, makes it true...which is usually not the case with people, people have their own feelings and thoughts and you need to be aware that no matter how confident you may be, you need to be able to understand them better before making that determination.

 

To really really connect with someone, can be a bit "rare" but I think a lot of it has to do with you...I think people prevent themselves more than they have an ability to connect with others...at least some of the time. I think it really depends on you and how you express yourself and what you share, and most people are scared to do that. I think the more willing you are to take those leaps in the more you are capable of receiving back, which I don't think you necessarily know what one can offer if you're always sizing up the other person, and wondering if they are "perfect" first. I don't know, I think people focus on the wrong things in "love" personally and it says more about their personal issues than anything else.

 

Brilliant post, you seem to described me in many respects. I wish you much success going forward because while I am not getting anywhere it's good to know some are

[candie13]

I believe that by "connection" you mean enough to not only date a person, but have a sort of RS, right?

 

Your friend sounds like a serial monogamist to me - you know, those jumping from one RS to the next. Also... 3 RS in one hear is 3-4 months max with one person, hardly a RS.

 

Still, I understand your point. If by "connection" you mean enough to date a person or that thing which makes one have and stay in a RS, that's rare. The older I get, the more aware I am of my needs and consequently, the more I difficult I am, when it comes to choosing a partner.

 

Constantly being in a RS means one is practically taking the first available person, after you've become single. I like to choose. I like to have choice. I have specific taste. I also have quite a few hobbies and friends, I travel, I have projects, don't feel like making room in my life to the first comer. Plus, really interesting men are rare. I would meet... about one, maybe two per year.

[Gaeta]

I easily connect with people whether it's in dating, at work, with friends. Still I have been single and living alone for 10 years.

 

I have learn that connecting with someone doesn't mean we are compatible and fit for a relationship. That's why when you connect with someone you have to give it time to develop into something deeper and meaningful.

[Els]

Very rare for me. I can count on my fingers the number of guys I've truly felt a connection with in my life.

[No Limit]

Very rare for me as well. Been having this intense 'connection' feeling for 1 guy, also the first guy I fell in love with - but it wasn't mutual so staring at the back of his head was enough for me. At first I had hoped that all times when I was interested in a guy would be like this, but I quickly learned that that wasn't the case. But I'm already very selective with friends to ensure my trust is well-placed - I don't see anyone getting past the barrier to the point of 'boyfriend achievement unlocked'. That's why I stick to singledom, at least for the next few years.