Do woman view sensitive men as weak and unmanly?

[Krieger]

First off I am not talking about a guy that cries if you will not have sex with him or you want a lady's night out and he cries. Also not talking about men that whine about every thing in life and spend all day thinks everyone pout to get them.

 

Let’s review some examples of sensitive guy behavior.

• A sensitive man cares about the feelings of others and would feel bad if he hurt another person’s feelings.

• He is a team player in all facets of his life, including work, his relationships, and his friendships.

• He doesn’t have a big ego or need to be seen as the smartest, most attractive, or most interesting man in the room. He always fits easily into groups.

• When it comes to making social plans, the sensitive guy strikes a balance between doing what he wants and doing what others want. While he may suggest one of his favorite activities one particular week, the next week he may defer to the other person and ask, “What would you like to do?”

 

19 Things Highly Sensitive People Do Differently

I do not want to post them all so look at the link.

 

19 Things Highly Sensitive People Do Differently

 

I for one use let people walk all over me but as I got older It no longer happens .

 

At work I call out co workers if they not doing something right.

 

I know what I want in life and go in get it.

 

Also I can take a joke and criticism it do not bother me at all.

 

I feel like I am very secure if a woman does not want me it is her lost .

 

Another thing is I stand up for the weak and jumped into action when no one else will.

 

One last thing I am good with my hands and can build things and fix things and cook.

 

The cons:

 

highly sensitive men get hurt quickly and then get into their shell or avoid talking about it.

 

I am prone to anxiety, depression, fatigue but it does not happen to often.

 

People around you seem to gravitate toward you and unload all of their pain and problems on you. Because you are an empathy, you feel compelled to help, even to your own detriment.

 

Lastly I do not get why people think us men cry all day long ? It still takes a lot for me to cry but not scared to do so . I know everything has it time and place and I am far from a mama boy . I just told her to back off some times or she never get grand kids.

Edited June 30, 2015 by Krieger

[fitnessfan365]

You're always talking about how you go after what you want, how well you know yourself, etc.. But if you were truly confident, you wouldn't be second guessing all the time. All this worrying you do comes off as major insecurity. Since you seem to always be walking on egg shells where women are concerned, I'm guessing they can sense that in you. My advice? Instead of trying to figure out what women want, just be yourself and find one that appreciates you for you.

Edited June 30, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[rocketman122]

for me specifically being sensitive (attentive sympathic empathic) has been a huge benefit with relationships. all women I dated loved that trait about me and it made me stand it. its a huge advantage. some may see it as a weakness but it isnt imo. its a strength.

[SammySammy]

Yes.

 

Women may say they want a sensitive man, but their actions say otherwise.

 

Trust what they do, not what they say.

[eve_k]

I love my bf, he is a combination of a supremely intelligent, sensitive man and Tarzan who grunts in a primal way when he climaxes.

 

He cannot watch a helpless person be abused but when angry, he used to channel his anger into some pretty, for me, upsetting things. Like good quality BDSM...etc

 

My bf was really a very attractive, very dangerous BDSM Dom. He also loves to sleep with men, and, in that case, he prefers to bottom.

He is also the most protective, and, therefore, manly man I've met...

 

I think a good, quality man is way to complex to be put in any category. He is a category of his own.

 

He is not as simple as a macho or effeminate guy...He is just a very complex, good quality guy whose very existence breaks rules, and God made him and broke the mold. Hehe...

[carhill]

Do woman view sensitive men as weak and unmanly?

 

 

Some do, sure. It varies by individual. Also, by degree. If the man is otherwise attractive and shows sensitivity in a manner which doesn't lessen his attractiveness, attraction is maintained and the man is manly to that woman. The strength of her emotional bond to him generally determines how much sensitivity beyond the tipping point into unattractive behavior she's willing to tolerate because, well, people aren't robots and we change throughout life.

 

What I've noticed from aging, and it's allowed far more close male friendships, is that males I've known for decades have been getting more openly sensitive as they age. The battles have been won, the worlds conquered, the offspring thrown and raised and they can rest on their laurels and leave the belly a bit more exposed than as younger, competitive, driven men who dared not let another man, or woman, see them sweat or be vulnerable. Their women change too, as all humans do, and some bond more tightly to the new man in their life and others find the changes unattractive and they leave or divorce. I've been seeing some of that lately too.

 

While analysis is great, twisting oneself into a pretzel to figure out and adapt to every possible outcome is a huge expenditure of energy IMO better spent out in the world making a difference. Celebrate your sensitive nature and enjoy the company of like-minded, caring and appreciative people. The rest, well, they're the billions. More being thrown every day. You can't please everyone so you've got to please yourself. I think that's a song lyric. Good luck!

[h0000]

Sensitive is not weak. Vulnerable probably is. Or scared,or no back bone

[Southern Sun]

As in most things, I think the answer lies somewhere in the middle...

 

Ask a woman who is in a relationship with a man who is very affectionate, kind and humble, self-deprecating, giving, and helpful and she might say she wouldn't mind a little of the opposite - a stoic, decisive, alpha male, take-charge, assertive guy who knows what he wants and goes after it.

 

Because the problem is, the nice guy can go from affectionate and kind to needy and weak, but then the "stoic" guy can go from strong and decisive to controlling, stand-offish and cold.

 

So again - we'd really like it to be a happy medium.

[yxalitis]

You can be sensitive...on the inside, but must show an alpha male exterior.

 

You can say "I care for you, I will support you" that's fine.

 

But you can't shed tears because "that sunset is so beautiful"

 

That comes across as "weak"

 

And, yeah, woman are fricking impossible to understand...

[Krieger]

As in most things, I think the answer lies somewhere in the middle...

 

Ask a woman who is in a relationship with a man who is very affectionate, kind and humble, self-deprecating, giving, and helpful and she might say she wouldn't mind a little of the opposite - a stoic, decisive, alpha male, take-charge, assertive guy who knows what he wants and goes after it.

 

Because the problem is, the nice guy can go from affectionate and kind to needy and weak, but then the "stoic" guy can go from strong and decisive to controlling, stand-offish and cold.

 

So again - we'd really like it to be a happy medium.

 

 

Well I am far from needy I need my alone time and I can be aloof from time to time.

[TunaInTheBrine]

I consistently hear from women that the number one thing about me that turns them on is that I actually listen to and take an interest in them, and don't talk much about myself. I am a highly sensitive male as well, but not a pushover. Women definitely respond positively to me and tell me how I'm "different". Far from a turn-off, I think these qualities are why I get laid consistently. I'm sincere, honest, never manipulative, etc... but I have a spine and am not afraid to put a woman in her place either if the situation calls for it. You sound like a cool dude. Forget the women who are too self-absorbed to connect with you on a deep level like you probably need, and look out more for women who naturally are on your level.

[Clarence_Boddicker]

It's not that easy or simple. A lot of women want different things as the relationship grows or they grow. Their perception also changes. A trait that she liked can randomly become a deal breaker to her. I believe a lot of women keep changing what they want in a guy. Not sure why, but seems to explain why a lot of relationships fail. Not placing any blame, everyone has the right to choose what they want it a partner.

[Krieger]

females want alphas not betas

 

 

 

 

VOTE FOR TED CRUZ IN 2016

 

 

Well I am both so HA .

[GravityMan]

"Sensitive" is not the best word to describe the kind of guy in your OP, Krieger. I'm referring to your bulletpoint list, not the list in that linked article.

 

"Considerate" is a better fitting term. As long as he isn't a doormat and has a bit of backbone, then he's not weak. One can be considerate and also take charge when needed. Selfishness is usually bad, but there are infrequent times where a bit of selfishness is the right attitude to take.

 

"Sensitive" to me describes a person who:

- gets overly defensive. Uptight.

- feels like he's always being "attacked" when most of the time the other person's just curious and means no harm

- can't take a joke

- gets easily offended

- lets others get under his skin

- gets bothered or upset easily; lets minor, petty things bother him

- cares too much about what others think of him/her

- tries too hard in general...in particular, tries too hard to impress others

 

That kind of person IS mentally weak and insecure, and he will have a hard time gaining the respect of anyone...man or woman. Such people - guys in particular - tended to be made fun of (or worse, bullied) a lot during their childhood, and never really learned how to stand up for themselves in the faces of their peers. They just withdrew deeper into their shells, stunting their social development and overall self-confidence.

 

The kind of sensitive that the article describes is a bit different. That person may or may not be weak, but I don't think he'll exactly be the most popular kind of guy personality-wise. I think many people prefer some sort of balance between stoicism and vulnerability/expressiveness in a partner...along with knowing when to keep the feelings in check and when to be more open.

[autumnnight]

The word "sensitive" is very vague on its face.

 

A man who cares about the feelings of others, can express his when appropriate, has empathy, etc is very attractive.

 

A man who gets butt-hurt over every little thing, who analyzes every person/thing/action/word/motive to death, who pouts endlessly, who cannot keep going even when things are tough...that is NOT attractive.

 

A man who cries at his daughter's wedding or the birth of his child or with me when I am grieving - very attractive.

 

A man who cries every time we have a disagreement and then pouts under a blanket - NOT attractive.

 

And a final word of advice - whenever you want to know how a woman feels, be sure to take the word of an actual woman, not a really jaded man.

[regine_phalange]

I define highly sensitive people slightly differently.

The ones that:

• notice small changes in their environment very easily
  
• have physical reactions to their feelings
  
• get overwhelming feelings
  
• they get very affected by things that don't concern them directly. for instance they can't watch scary movies or overly sad movies.
  
• get psychosomatic symptoms a lot
  

 

I'm highly sensitive myself, and I don't care about my boyfriend being sensitive. Having integrity and empathy doesn't mean a person is sensitive, it means he's emotionally and psychologically healthy. And being cooperative it means that someone is socially mature. Highly sensitive people are not always nicer than less sensitive people.

[davidromero43]

The word "sensitive" is very vague on its face.

 

A man who cares about the feelings of others, can express his when appropriate, has empathy, etc is very attractive.

 

A man who gets butt-hurt over every little thing, who analyzes every person/thing/action/word/motive to death, who pouts endlessly, who cannot keep going even when things are tough...that is NOT attractive.

 

A man who cries at his daughter's wedding or the birth of his child or with me when I am grieving - very attractive.

 

A man who cries every time we have a disagreement and then pouts under a blanket - NOT attractive.

 

And a final word of advice - whenever you want to know how a woman feels, be sure to take the word of an actual woman, not a really jaded man.

 

 

What she is trying to say is

 

If you really listen to a woman, and she feels you really are listening to her, then she will think you are sensitive and its good.

 

If you take the time to remember anything a woman says and do it. Example:

Girl: I just love Ho Hos

Guy: The Hostess cakes?

Next day put a Ho Ho in her purse and you are sensitive and its good.

 

If you get your feelings hurt when she brags about her ex getting a new Porsche. You are being sensitive and not good.

 

If she asks you what you want for your birthday, and you say movie night with you. And then she goes out with her friends, but knocks on your door at 3am to give you "birfdahy sax". Any reaction besides joy, is being sensitive and not good.

 

If she watches a movie about a cheating husband and gets mad at you. And you tell her that will never happen and you understand why she is emotionally upset. And you bring her chocolate in any form. You are being sensitive and its good.

 

If you get fired and come home depressed and sad. You are being sensitive and not good.

 

 

So your feelings are best to keep to yourself. And the Ho Ho might get you a blow job.

[PrettyEmily77]

No.

 

 

The girl who will eventually fall for you will most likely like you for you, OP, whatever your sensitivity-to-alphamaleness (?) ratio. Don't sweat it, you'll be fine.

[autumnnight]

What she is trying to say is

 

If you really listen to a woman, and she feels you really are listening to her, then she will think you are sensitive and its good.

 

Yay!

 

If you take the time to remember anything a woman says and do it. Example:

Girl: I just love Ho Hos

Guy: The Hostess cakes?

Next day put a Ho Ho in her purse and you are sensitive and its good.

 

Yay...unless she is on a diet lolo

 

If you get your feelings hurt when she brags about her ex getting a new Porsche. You are being sensitive and not good.

 

Depends...was she obnoxious? Bragging is not polite. Do you just shrug or make a joke about how you bring things to the table that eclipse a Porsche or do you get angry, cry, and pout in your room

 

If she asks you what you want for your birthday, and you say movie night with you. And then she goes out with her friends, but knocks on your door at 3am to give you "birfdahy sax". Any reaction besides joy, is being sensitive and not good.

 

Big giant jaded BOOO...incorrect

 

If she watches a movie about a cheating husband and gets mad at you. And you tell her that will never happen and you understand why she is emotionally upset. And you bring her chocolate in any form. You are being sensitive and its good.

 

If she gets mad at you about what a fictitious character did, I'd tell her to knock it off...but if you really want to reassure her like the above, then yay as well

 

If you get fired and come home depressed and sad. You are being sensitive and not good.

 

Incorrect....unless 5 months later you are still crying, playing video games, and not looking for a job

 

So your feelings are best to keep to yourself. And the Ho Ho might get you a blow job.

 

Being jaded and having a bad attitude about women is unattractive no matter your level of sensitivity

 

You scored....a 70 on this test.

[carhill]

On the topic of sensitivity, I reflected on the dichotomy of emotion just experienced while listening to a pilot, the doctor who lost his life, along with his wife and daughter, in that Plainville, MA plane crash into a house, knowing he was in a really bad place. Extreme sadness, then joy that the family in the house all survived, then sadness again that the doctor/pilot, who had the engine go out on him (he was clear in his comms about that), apparently didn't have the passion to learn aerobatics and engine-out flying/gliding. Then joy again watching old man pard Hoover rolling and looping a general aviation aircraft with the engines off, doing it for decades and still being alive at 93. Every pilot should be so lucky as to have a dude like Hoover teach them that airspeed is king and to not be afraid and remain calm. The sensitive part is the elemental feeling of the sadness and loss and the joy of life visibly, even though those people are all strangers and I've only met Bob (Hoover) once. It's the ability to put oneself in another's 'shoes', as it were.

 

What I learned in my marriage, and being with women in general, was that they, the women I've encountered in life so far, did/do indeed like sensitivity, being sensitive to them, their needs and wants, but liked the man, myself, to be less sensitive to his own needs and feelings. Focus on them was attractive; focus on self, unattractive. I propose a more attractive man would not have these issues because there would be more room to the tipping point, aligning with that phrase 'be attractive and never be unattractive', or be alone. Being alone gives me the freedom to be authentic with those I encounter in life and not concern myself with perceptions and judgments. It's a good place to be. Otherwise, I'd have missed this little nugget of emotional clarity because I'd be grinding away in the shop to provide the missus with a 'better life'. Heh.

[Quiet Storm]

It depends- I think some highly sensitive men are conflict avoidant or passive aggressive, which I don't think are attractive qualities.

 

For example, lets say your next door neighbor keeps blasting music at 2 am. Are you the type of guy who will directly address the problem and assertively but kindly ask them to stop doing that? Or are you the type of guy to get annoyed, do nothing except hope it stops, and constantly make comments to everyone else about these a55holes, but never say anything to them?

 

Another example, say your girlfriend has a male exFWB that's coming to town. They plan a day trip, but no other friends can go, and it will just be them two, alone. This bothers you and you don't think it's right. Are you the type of guy to say "Go & have a great time!", and then seethe with resentment the whole time she's gone and punish her with the silent treatment? Or are you the type to tell her "Look, I am not OK with my girlfriend going out alone with a former FWB. You can do whatever you want, but I just want to say up front that I am not cool with this".

 

So for me, it's not automatically unattractive if a guy is sensitive. I think the important thing is how he handles that sensitivity. Does he let it consume him and create unnecessary anxiety? Or does he manage his sensitivities in a healthy way?

 

I agree that it's a good thing to be sensitive to your woman's feelings. I myself am a tough chick when it comes to many things, but I am very sensitive to animal abuse or neglect (I'm 39 and still cry about it). My husband knows this about me, so he will immediately turn the channel when those long, sad animal abuse commercials come on. And if he gets a bonus at work, he'll always set aside an amount to donate to the Humane Society. I like that because it shows he cares about the things that matter to me.

[ThaWholigan]

Sensitive is as subjectively ambiguous as the word "nice" - there are different expressions of sensitivity.

 

If a man is sensitive to the emotions and boundaries of others, and displays a level of empathy and social and emotional intelligence, then he's not likely to be viewed as "weak" or "unmanly".

 

He will only be viewed as such, if his sensitivity is as acute as being hypersensitive to inconsequential issues, and displays a low level of social and emotional intelligence. One who is angry all the time would be viewed as highly sensitive and perhaps weak aswell.

 

Lastly, the concept of what is manly and what isn't generally falls under this paradigm of masculinity and femininity that we have set for ourselves and it's very limiting for many people who don't fall into these particular pigeon-holes of behavior. I think the fact that anything perceived as feminine in a man is inherently bad or at least framed that way in the eyes of men and women is problematic.

[casey.lives]

No. a weak man is one who has a weak will , weak focus and lacks courage