Quotes from SO's or Ex's that made your head spin.

[Keenly]

I always like when I read about some one saying something so absolutely ludicrous and off the wall, so I figured I would share a few.

 

My ex, upon getting in the groove of my desire to randomly surprise my girlfriend with gifts, once told me as I presented her orange roses, the once she had said we're her favorite ones, " stop buying me flowers, all they do is die. " My head went sideways like a dog that just heard a white.

 

Sometimes they can be cute. "last night I asked myself if the world would end one day, and I'd be okay if it ended as long as we were together when it happened "

 

 

 

And sometimes they can be just stubborn and insane.

 

In a conversation about climate change, her repeated response was " all the scientists say global warming is real , so that means it's real " which also made my head turn because she was a very smart girl and I thought she would want to look into it.

 

 

My examples are on the lesser side of the entertainment spectrum, but I'm hoping you guys can share some quotes that really made your head spin, made you angry, sad, or ones that made you try and remember the number to the loony bin.

 

 

Oh wait, my favorite " games slow your reflexes because you aren't reacting to anything, you're just sitting there " to which I could only laugh.

Edited June 29, 2015 by Keenly

[autumnnight]

I'm not going to make you stay up late, I just don't want you to go to bed until I feel better (it was already almost midnight).

[Keenly]

I'm not going to make you stay up late, I just don't want you to go to bed until I feel better (it was already almost midnight).

 

.... Wait... They didn't want you to go to bed until THEY felt better?

[minimariah]

My ex, upon getting in the groove of my desire to randomly surprise my girlfriend with gifts, once told me as I presented her orange roses, the once she had said we're her favorite ones, " stop buying me flowers, all they do is die. "

 

LMAO, this is hilarious.

[autumnnight]

.... Wait... They didn't want you to go to bed until THEY felt better?

 

Yep. We would have these circular discussions that I would try to pull out of, and then he would cover his head up with the quilt and pout and get mad if I went to bed. If I did go to bed, he would bang things around so I couldn't sleep.

[regine_phalange]

"Nevermind that I forgot my toothbrush, I'll use yours! So what if it's unsanitary? If one of us has a disease then it's two people having it and that's it. " I cringed back then and made him go buy one.

 

"Jesus sucks". I'm not religious, I don't even believe in christianity, but one can't deny that Jesus was cool.

 

"I eat only rice in order to lose weight". He didn't because it was white processed rice and he didn't believe me that it's fattening to eat a ton of it.

 

"I watched this movie and it reminded me of my ex. I just wanted you to know that". Now I'm relieved,, thank you for letting me know.

 

I've also said some truly dumb ones but Im ashamed to share with the world.

[Keenly]

Yep. We would have these circular discussions that I would try to pull out of, and then he would cover his head up with the quilt and pout and get mad if I went to bed. If I did go to bed, he would bang things around so I couldn't sleep.

 

 

There needs to be a word for beyond selfish. Like the difference between a fight and a beating, there needs to be selfish and (insert word here) so we can describe that kind of situation.

[Keenly]

"Nevermind that I forgot my toothbrush, I'll use yours! So what if it's unsanitary? If one of us has a disease then it's two people having it and that's it. " I cringed back then and made him go buy one.

 

Yeah, no. Our toungues might touch, but no one is using my toothbrush but me.

 

"Jesus sucks". I'm not religious, I don't even believe in christianity, but one can't deny that Jesus was cool.

The original rock star.

 

"I eat only rice in order to lose weight". He didn't because it was white processed rice and he didn't believe me that it's fattening to eat a ton of it.

 

Interesting. I'd be a little taken aback by the reasoning.

 

"I watched this movie and it reminded me of my ex. I just wanted you to know that". Now I'm relieved,, thank you for letting me know.

 

Was it "Saw" or perhaps "Hard Candy"?

 

I've also said some truly dumb ones but Im ashamed to share with the world.

 

 

Oh come on... I'll try and come up with one if you can share yours.

[No Limit]

Minor off topic - Hard Candy was a movie that made me laugh actually. Carry on.

[minimariah]

"i can't talk to folks who have longer eyelashes than me."

 

he tried to ban me from wearing mascara.

[autumnnight]

There needs to be a word for beyond selfish. Like the difference between a fight and a beating, there needs to be selfish and (insert word here) so we can describe that kind of situation.

 

Yep. This, no job, no sex, sabotaging his health on purpose during arguments...and yet some idiot told me his only failing was not controlling me enough. Stupid.

 

I'll share a dumb thing I said once:

 

"If you're here I can't miss you."

 

Yeah, I was about 18...ah, youth

[Keenly]

My "favorite" one was a recurring one with my first love.

 

I graduated about 2 years before she did. I met her and we started dating in her senior year.

 

She really wanted to go prom. I was more than happy to escort her.

 

2 weeks before, she cancels. Says she doesn't want to go anymore, that its not a big deal, and the two of us can just have a night in together.

 

For the next 2 years, EVERY time a tv show or movie would have a prom scene, she would get pouty, and remind me about how "You never took me to my prom"

 

and My brain would explode. Does. Not Compute. Irrational. Illogical. Error. Error.

[DKT3]

When talking about the street name the kids school was on she said "if you knew you were right all along why couldnt you just leave it alone so I could be right"

 

Another one "I forgot to get gas, I dont even have enough to make it to the pump. Will you go fill it up?" HUH??

[regine_phalange]

Oh come on... I'll try and come up with one if you can share yours.

 

I won't share the most embarrassing one. But there was a period of riots back in 2008 and a lot of properties were damaged here in Greece, including shop displays. A couple of weeks after these incidents, I went for a walk with my then-boyfriend and looked at a display with cracked glass spots. I told him "oh look, that's a fancy display design they have here. They made the glass look falsely cracked. It looks like spiderwebs! I wonder, did they use soap for this effect?". He quickly dragged me away because there were people nearby.

 

Your turn!

[Keenly]

I won't share the most embarrassing one. But there was a period of riots back in 2008 and a lot of properties were damaged here in Greece, including shop displays. A couple of weeks after these incidents, I went for a walk with my then-boyfriend and looked at a display with cracked glass spots. I told him "oh look, that's a fancy display design they have here. They made the glass look falsely cracked. It looks like spiderwebs! I wonder, did they use soap for this effect?". He quickly dragged me away because there were people nearby.

 

Your turn!

 

I'm trying to think of a situation where I just said something stupid but Im coming up with a blank. Perhaps I am blocking them out because they were so embarassing.

 

I know I gave the wrong answer to a lot of "is she pretty" questions.

 

Oh, I got one. I was with the same prom girlfriend in the mall and I saw this girl that had dyed her hair in such a way that I had never seen before (it was that blonde with the black underneath in the back)

 

She asked if I liked it, and I think I all too eagerly responded with like "hell yeah I like it, looks bad ass" and while maybe I should have phrased that a little differently I feel like the reaction was also out of place.

 

 

 

But lets see..... Uhmmm... I think I once misphrased a sentence so that it came out like " yeah I'd totally have sex with your mother" to a girlfriend I had, but that was NOT what I meant to say at all, and was not in the right context. I think we were talking about sharing a tent or something. Had to backpedal really quick.

[autumnnight]

Oh, here's another one said TO me:

 

I don't mind if you disagree with me, I just don't want you to talk about it.

 

This one wasn't really a "bad" thing to say, but you have to understand I am not a "country" girl. I had been dating a boy for a few months my senior year of high school (he was a couple years older). We were eating with my parents, and he said "Yeah, I guess when I graduate I'll move back to (insert isolated redneck tiny town here). My dad will give me some acreage behind their house, and my wife and I can put a trailer up there until we build a house.

 

My mom said she saw my face go from "isn't he adorable" to "NEXT" instantly lol

[Keenly]

Oh, here's another one said TO me:

 

I don't mind if you disagree with me, I just don't want you to talk about it.

 

This one wasn't really a "bad" thing to say, but you have to understand I am not a "country" girl. I had been dating a boy for a few months my senior year of high school (he was a couple years older). We were eating with my parents, and he said "Yeah, I guess when I graduate I'll move back to (insert isolated redneck tiny town here). My dad will give me some acreage behind their house, and my wife and I can put a trailer up there until we build a house.

 

My mom said she saw my face go from "isn't he adorable" to "NEXT" instantly lol

 

 

That is some bumper sticker material right there.

 

 

I once went to lunch with my friend and his girlfriend and some how the topic of Emma Watson came up.

 

I went on about how she is gorgeous and she could tie me up and do whatever she wanted to me, and my friend and I held eye contact while his girlfriend went off about how ugly she thinks she is and all these reasons why Emma isn't pretty and shes a boring person and probably sucks in bed blah blah blah. He just smiled and said, "yeah, she is okay" and I laughed inside because I know he agreed with everything I said.

[Photofinish]

"Some people find out they're not straight after having sex for the first time"

"It's been x months! How long do you expect me to wait?!"

 

This was his attempt to pressure me into sex btw.

 

I have a list of things the poor fool said .

[preraph]

"You have to realize I'm used to ballerinas." How does anyone "get used to" ballerinas? In Texas.

 

"I like fighting with hot-tempered Greek girls." (I volunteered to break a vase over his head)

 

"She apparently used your valentine to light the bed on fire."

 

Me: "Why'd you marry her anyway?" (a real psycho)

Him: "She nagged me into it. Who knows? I might have married you if you'd nagged me into it." Oh, well, his third wife was much better.

[Harradin]

"Can you get a picture of me and set it as your background on your phone? So if girls start talking to you and you get your phone out, they'll know you're mine."

 

This was a week after we went exclusive. The sad thing was I obliged... First girlfriend, I was a idiot. It makes my head spin now.

[changeofseasons]

"I need to go on about 20 more dates before i can know if i can commit"

 

:lmao:

 

done with your flip floppy ****

[Woggle]

I wasn't allowed to use my dentist because she was a woman and her being inside my mouth like that was pretty much like sex.

 

She lost respect for me as a man because no matter how hard she tried to push me I never hit her. That is her words.

[preraph]

^ Wow. Actually the girl who lit the valentine in my post was one of those who prodded guys to hit her. I couldn't believe it. Last seen shacking up with a bunch of bikers in the desert. Her old man looked like Charles Manson. The guy was really freaked out about it and he wasn't hitting anyone. Wrestle or slap playfully, yes, But I think it's a man-hating way of immasculating guys for women who do that. They pick guys they are pretty sure won't do it and then make them feel bad because they're not as psycho as she is.

[RedRobin]

My ex H "maybe after you finish your PhD, we could get back together"

 

Me "why would I want your sorry ass after I've done this all by myself?"

 

Keep in mind that this was after he cheated, we'd spent a year in counseling, and I had a full scholarship and stipend for my PhD. Yea, hilarious... Damn that guy was full of himself.

 

Last time I was down visiting friends, I heard that he was still inquiring about me and hadn't got remarried. So sad, too bad.

[jen1447]

"I love you so much, there's no way we can be together."

 

One of my exes from a few years ago. It didn't really make my head spin since I understood what he meant coming from his perspective, but out of context it looks kinda ridiculous. (He was a deeply thoughtful guy who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders and could always come up with convincing reasons why nothing would ever end well, except that they were usually wrong. )