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I'm finding a trend going on with American men and I'm curious if it's the norm.

 

I'm English, live in the South of England and in a town, not a city.

 

Something keeps happening and it's American men paying compliments - nice, kind compliments.

They're not at all creepy, were age appropriate (around mid forties - my age) they smile pleasantly and I have genuinely thanked each guy for the compliment they gave.

It's happened 6 times to me this year, each a different man who is totally unknown to me.

Last time was Sunday and I was sitting in a beer garden with a friend and he stopped while he walked past saying he had noticed me when we arrived and he loved my curls.

I smiled, thanked him and he carried on his way.

 

 

In comparison , from English men you get 'nice a**' , 'nice t*ts* or 'I would'. :(

 

Actual compliments and kind ones, not unpleasant ones are not the norm from English men at all so I'm wondering if it's an American thing?

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hey GUK, I was born in London...funny thing is that American women fall hard for men from England and Australia. Must be the accent.

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This is one of the nicest things I've seen written about us. :)

 

Indeed.

 

However, you also have to consider that the guys that is able to travel is also ones that is generally responsible and respectful around others, hence why foreign people would be surprised by the level of respect from a few American guys.

 

But please don't get your hopes up: This is not even the norm or even close to it. I rarely meet anyone, male or female, that is a quarter of the kind of guys the OP has experienced from.

 

I really do need to travel. I am glad your experience is positive though, OP.

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I've got a friend in NYC who I met on here. He's forever making insulting and misogynistic comments to me online - but he's very nice when you actually meet up with him in person. Last time I was there, he complimented me with "you're ageing well for a blonde." I also met a homeless man there who complimented me with "Brrrrraaaaveheart!!!" even though I refused to give him any money.

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If we like what we see, sure. A lot of us aren't drunk all day so we don't forget we're not in a porno. :p

 

The UK seems like an island ripe for invasion from what I've seen here. I don't know how a bunch of you British/Scottish girls get away with being single for so long. It's a damning indictment of UK men. =/

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Those of us who ex-pat or travel extensively generally have backgrounds which cause us to respect other cultures and the people in them and blend in, including in interpersonal social situations. What remains is how the American guys behave when they become comfortable in their foreign surroundings after immersing for awhile. Experience varies. Happy to read you've had some positive experiences.

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compulsivedancer

It varies depending on where you're from. In my experience, Midwesterners are open and friendly, as are southerners, but as you get onto the coasts and into the bigger cities, you get a lot ruder (as in other parts of the world). There's a reason for the "southern gentleman" stereotype.

 

Usually this is a good thing. But unfortunately, chivalry sometimes can be an indicator of being overly "traditional" in male-female roles, and may occasionally mask a chauvinist (especially in the south and Midwest, which tend to be more "traditional" and conservative). But that doesn't have to be the case.

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Thank you for the compliment but people tend to be on their best behavior overseas. People from other countries are probably much better here in the states than they are at home so it goes both ways.

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I think CompulsiveDancer hit the nail on the head. Though it's one of my favorite shows, you can't believe everything you see on Top Gear about the United States, that's for sure. We're not all redneck hillbillies, and even some of those types can be quite chivalrous. I think they are being pretty bold with you and I'd be tempted to say it's because they're on vacation and anything goes. And maybe they're just pretty confident. I mean, not everyone can afford the trip, so there could be something to that. Just be careful they're not married!

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I must go and look up some accents so I can tell where these guys are from, the accents were not obviously (not for me anyway) from a particular area.

 

Gawd! I would have loved to say that UK men are not all like Jeremy Clarkson but often they are sadly!

 

Anyway, Mr America out there, you are welcome to the return compliment here as you have deserved it! :)

Just get some Englishmen in training....please.. :laugh:

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Gawd! I would have loved to say that UK men are not all like Jeremy Clarkson but often they are sadly!

 

 

Yep. Not sure why they couldn't choose David Attenborough, Tom Hiddleston, Benedict Cumberbatch, David Tennant, etc as alternative role models.

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Take a trip through the American south and it will bring you down to reality. The ones you meet who are traveling overseas are not the same as the people who actually live here and that goes for both genders actually.

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I'm from mainland Europe originally but have lived in the UK for most of my adult life.

Generally, I think UK men are pretty crap at giving compliments; you either get a 'uhm, yeah you look nice' if you get anything at all, or you get the overly sexual ones like 'great tits, nice arse' or the like.

 

Shame really, a nice non-sexual compliment can make my day.

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I'll probably get slated for this, but here goes. I live in the UK and have travelled to the USA quite a few times. In general, I find Americans very friendly and more outgoing than us Brits.

 

The waiting staff in restaurants and the staff in shops tend to smile and greet you a lot more than in England and it doesn't seem fake. It comes so naturally to them.

 

As for American guys, I don't see that many here, but in America, they are friendly and complimentary. I think and I've been told by the ones I've met, that they love the English accent.

 

In fact many years before I got married, I met an American guy in a nightclub and he just wanted me to keep on talking because he liked my accent. Then he tried to charm me into going upto his hotel room and having his wicked way. So maybe he was just saying he loved the accent with as a chat up line.

 

I've not had British guys say the sort of things the OP mentioned. I'd expect that from brickies on a building site.

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Take a trip through the American south and it will bring you down to reality. The ones you meet who are traveling overseas are not the same as the people who actually live here and that goes for both genders actually.

 

I totally understand the differential.

England is a tiny country and we have differences in so much in the way of values/beliefs etc just a hundred or so miles can make a difference - which is quite shocking.

The difference can also be totally from one man to another obviously but I have found it more prevalent in those who live further afield or were brought up further afield.

 

I am aware from older posts that you aren't from the area you now live with your SO. I suspect you are some what of an anomaly and would be especially if by any chance you became a single man on the look out tomorrow and all ready to date.

It's obvious from many of your posts.

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I'll probably get slated for this, but here goes. I live in the UK and have travelled to the USA quite a few times. In general, I find Americans very friendly and more outgoing than us Brits.

 

The waiting staff in restaurants and the staff in shops tend to smile and greet you a lot more than in England and it doesn't seem fake. It comes so naturally to them.

 

As for American guys, I don't see that many here, but in America, they are friendly and complimentary. I think and I've been told by the ones I've met, that they love the English accent.

 

In fact many years before I got married, I met an American guy in a nightclub and he just wanted me to keep on talking because he liked my accent. Then he tried to charm me into going upto his hotel room and having his wicked way. So maybe he was just saying he loved the accent with as a chat up line.

 

I've not had British guys say the sort of things the OP mentioned. I'd expect that from brickies on a building site.

 

I hope you don't get slated - if anyone should it should be me for starting the thread. A responsibility I am prepared to and will take on - if it happens. :)

 

Your response is one I thought (hoped) would come..OK there was a cheeky one trying it on and that was up to you - but, I am quite sweetened by American men I meet here. They are 'just pleasant' and if they asked then I might go for a coffee or spend some time doing something (no, not sex! Lol!) with them.

 

I get nice a** from businessmen in their 40/50s driving past as I walk to work.

I'm 46! How they think I might be chuffed by that comment is beyond me!

 

I met another American today..he also said my hair was 'cool' and suited me...

I laughed! He laughed! Er...we had 'wig dress up day at work' today and mine was a charming neon pink mullet style! :laugh:

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Michelle ma Belle
I'm finding a trend going on with American men and I'm curious if it's the norm.

 

I'm English, live in the South of England and in a town, not a city.

 

Something keeps happening and it's American men paying compliments - nice, kind compliments.

They're not at all creepy, were age appropriate (around mid forties - my age) they smile pleasantly and I have genuinely thanked each guy for the compliment they gave.

It's happened 6 times to me this year, each a different man who is totally unknown to me.

Last time was Sunday and I was sitting in a beer garden with a friend and he stopped while he walked past saying he had noticed me when we arrived and he loved my curls.

I smiled, thanked him and he carried on his way.

 

 

In comparison , from English men you get 'nice a**' , 'nice t*ts* or 'I would'. :(

 

Actual compliments and kind ones, not unpleasant ones are not the norm from English men at all so I'm wondering if it's an American thing?

 

It's funny you said this because this was the EXACT opposite for me! I had a serious thing for English men for a while ;)

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It's funny you said this because this was the EXACT opposite for me! I had a serious thing for English men for a while ;)

a lot of chicks like english men, must remind them of james bond

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Frank2thepoint
In comparison , from English men you get 'nice a**' , 'nice t*ts* or 'I would'. :(

 

It's funny and ironic you say this, because plenty of American women complain they hear those exact words from American men. I guess American men want to leave a good impression with foreign women, so they can either bag one for a relationship or for sex.

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TaraMaiden2

One comment which is meant as a compliment but which truly grates on my nerves when I hear it, is "She scrubs up well!"

 

I have personally met one American gentleman who, had he been 30 years younger, I would definitely have swooned over... as it was, he was a WWII vet, married, with two kids of my age, and simply delightful.... a real privilege to have known him.

I know a couple of guys online, via FB who are really lovely people but I have actually met two American guys - strangers the pair of them - and one was exceptionally nice, and the other, hideously rude.

 

Both middle-aged, both from NYC, and completely unconnected. Different places, different times.

So, I guess there's no hard and fast rule...

people are people wherever you may go.

 

As we say in Italy, "Il mondo e un posto fatto di scale, c'e gente che scende, c'e gente che sale..."

(The world is just a long stairway, you've got folks going down, and folks coming up....)

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I guess it is about the culture one grows up in, so if men are used to hearing other men saying "nice arse" or "great pair of tits" to women, and the women like it too, then they are going to do the same.

If they are brought up "proper", then they do not say such things, unless drunk or in jest.

The English gent portrayed in movies though, I guess is not too common.

 

I think the UK in general is not a place for compliments, we are not good at giving them nor receiving them, we tend to suspect ulterior motives.

Our sense of humour can be cutting at times, and "niceness" and compliment giving can be ridiculed, so we can grow up a tad suspicious.

 

However genuine, motiveless, compliments like Gemma received can be a breath of fresh air.

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This is one of the nicest things I've seen written about us. :)

 

 

Well played, Jay!

>>hacked lol<<

 

I give compliments when I feel they're deserved- even if it's just walking by casually. It's not cat-calling to flow by a beautiful woman and compliment her. It's the sincerity and words you use. If I say "you look hot," nothing happens. If I say "You look ravishing," she smiles. All about tact.

 

I got the best compliment of my life, an older woman told me I have Whale-eyes.

 

Some women don't know how to receive compliments, so sometimes no matter what I say will fall on deaf ears or a suspicious mind.

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American men from the Midwest! Midwest is best! :D

 

Men in the Midwest are the quintessential gentlemen. Not to turn it into a "North vs. South" dating civil war, because the stereotype is that men from the South are the perfect gentlemen. Think, "Gone With the Wind"'s character Ashley Wilkes, who was the consummate gentlemen who rejected sassy Scarlett O'Hara's come-ons because he was faithful to his dainty Southern belle Melanie.

 

But Midwestern chivalry is alive and well I think.

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