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A guy that doesnt think with his ****


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Growing up I always heard that phrase from women

 

"Why cant I just find one guy that doesnt think with his dick"?

 

Well, thats pretty much me. And guess what, 99.9999% of women as far as I can tell find it totally unattractive. Why? Because most women are counter-punchers when it comes to the dating world. They wait for the guy to make all the moves, then if interested, they counter with their move, and back and forth.

 

So a guy like me, that doesnt wake up each morning with a "I need to get laid" mindset, has a huge disadvantage when it comes to interacting with women. Whether women realize it or not. Most guys "change" their behavior when they approach and interact with women that they want to date or have sex with. Anyone that has guy friends can see this plain as day when your buddy is with his wife, or when he calls her on the phone. Guys do the same thing when they talk to a woman they just met. They instantly try to present themselves as this great guy, thats soooo interested in you. They try to charm and flirt with the woman. All of this has an agenda. To either get a date, get sex, or both.

 

I on the other hand. Since I'm not thinking with my dick, I do not change my behavior when I interact with women. I act the same as when I'm talking with a friend, or family, member, or anyone else that I've known. I dont put on an act, or enter "job interview mode" to try to get this woman to like me. Why? Because I literally do not care if she doesnt like me. If she doesnt accept me for who I am, the real me, then who cares. I dont sit there censoring what I talk about like a politician trying to win over voters. Most people refrain from talking about certain subjects because they are afraid the other person "might not like their point of view". Um hello??? If you are planning on having a LTR with this person are you going to hide that part of yourself forever??

 

Over the years I've been in a handful of situations where women have wanted to have sex with me. But since I dont have that "I need to tap everything near me" mindset, I have recanted on some occasions. Some of these women that I still know now, have admitted to me that "You know you could have had me back on that day you gave me a ride home from the bar". I knew I could. But since many women like to make a game out of the whole thing, a lot of times that just turns me off, and I dont follow through. I remember the one ocassion, where the woman told me "I had nothing on under my overalls except my t-shirt, all you had to do was pop the button and I was yours". OK? If SHE was that ready at that moment, than why the hell didnt she say so, or at least do something about it? THATS the stuff right there that will never make sense to me. The woman is ready to go but 99% of the time she will do NOTHING about it unless the guy makes his intentions clear first.

 

Another issues to not thinking with my dick, is being on dating sites. Women constantly tell me, "You're a good looking guy, I cant beleive you have a hard time getting a date". My looks have nothing to do with it. Its because I dont follow the "unwritten rules" of chasing, and making a game of everything when it comes to dating. In my experience, women do not like being upfront about anything really. Especially dating. Even though they are on a dating site, I will strike out 9 times out of 10 if I show direct interest in wanting to date a woman when I send a message. Instead, I have to start with small talk, getting to know her, and pretend we both arent on a dating site. Now a guy that thinks with his dick will usually do this. Those guys will usually do a lot of things just for the sake of reaching their goal...sex. I on the other hand will not. We are both on a dating site, we both want to meet someone, and beating around the bush for a week or two isnt helping with that goal.

 

Theres an endless list of things that men will overlook just to get a date with a woman or have sex with her. I overlook very little. I think maybe its because I look at each woman as a potential LTR, and most other guys look at most women as just another f**k.

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Justanaverageguy

Yeah well I guess it depends what you are there for doesn't it. Guys who just want some fun ... are happy to play the games. If you are there for something more serious then in truth you don't really even want to go on dates with those types of girls so its not really an issue.

 

You do have to be aware though that most girls like to vet a guy before they meet them. Most get a lot of offers so they actually want to talk for a while before jumping directly into a meet up to make sure you are not a creep. That's just part of the process you have to live with. But there are a lot of game players as well. Young girls especially in their 18-25 age bracket tend to be the ones who love to play games. Also you will find many of the girls on OLD are serial daters who just like to play games.

 

I have 2 schools of thought here.

 

1- You need to know the rules to dating and attraction even if you are not a game player. So you need to understand the basics of what causes attraction between humans and position yourself accordingly to maximize your potential with girls you are interested in. I'm not saying "play games" or to be something you are not - but being naive and doing things you know are unattractive is not smart. So I am just talking about really basic things like not being too available, not coming on too strong, not pandering to women and being friend zoned. Keeping things fun and flirty at first and not being afraid to say what you think and disagree with a girl. All really simple things.

 

2- In saying that it doesn't mean playing all the stupid dating games like a PUA or put up with girls who play them. You can know the rules of attraction and work within them without being stupid about it. If you come across girls who are really into all the game playing (and believe me it gets easier to spot) .... acknowledge that this is probably not a girl that is right for you to date and just walk away from that. You don't have to like and try and date every girl you meet online. The goal is to find one .... who suits you. The game players clearly don't suit you or what you are looking for.

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Young girls especially in their 18-25 age bracket tend to be the ones who love to play games.

 

In my experience, 95% of all women make a game of it one way or another. The problem is that woman A doesnt think she is playing games because her tactics are different than woman B, who she sees as a game player. But from a guys point of view, its all games. Age hasnt changed a thing. I'm in my 40's and I actually see more women near my age playing games than I ever did when I was younger.

 

Keeping things fun and flirty at first and not being afraid to say what you think and disagree with a girl.

 

I'm great at disagreeing with women. The problem though is that they dont like that. Maybe its just the geography of men here, that have spoiled them by constantly kissing their ass and telling them how great they are. I've learned that most women do not hold me in high regard for having my own opinion, instead they find it unattractive. Women typically compare a new guy to all the other guys shes dated. And when all the other guys kissed her ass and showered her with attention, the new guy that doesnt do that usually wont get very far.

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calvincline47
Growing up I always heard that phrase from women

 

"Why cant I just find one guy that doesnt think with his dick"?

 

Well, thats pretty much me. And guess what, 99.9999% of women as far as I can tell find it totally unattractive. Why? Because most women are counter-punchers when it comes to the dating world. They wait for the guy to make all the moves, then if interested, they counter with their move, and back and forth.

 

Women want a guy that is tall, good-looking, and smooth. If you are this guy, then they won't care if you think with your dick.

 

Theres an endless list of things that men will overlook just to get a date with a woman or have sex with her. I overlook very little. I think maybe its because I look at each woman as a potential LTR, and most other guys look at most women as just another f**k.

 

No, I'm the same way. I'm also looking for an LTR. I generally am very strict with what I allow women to get away with.

 

It works well because it results in me not wasting my time.

 

In my experience, 95% of all women make a game of it one way or another. The problem is that woman A doesnt think she is playing games because her tactics are different than woman B, who she sees as a game player. But from a guys point of view, its all games. Age hasnt changed a thing. I'm in my 40's and I actually see more women near my age playing games than I ever did when I was younger.

 

All women play games, at all ages. That's life. Personally, I'm more forgiving of younger women playing games (because they are more fertile and I want children). If older women play too many games, I'm all like :eek::laugh::lmao:

 

I'm great at disagreeing with women. The problem though is that they dont like that. Maybe its just the geography of men here, that have spoiled them by constantly kissing their ass and telling them how great they are. I've learned that most women do not hold me in high regard for having my own opinion, instead they find it unattractive. Women typically compare a new guy to all the other guys shes dated. And when all the other guys kissed her ass and showered her with attention, the new guy that doesnt do that usually wont get very far.

 

Nah, it's not your geography. Women like men that drink the koolaid. If you disagree with them (especially about topics related to feminism), they'll get pretty pissed.

 

Personally, I have a very polarizing personality. I'm generally as honest IRL as I am here. So some people (and women) really like me. Others really hate me. Totally fine by me.

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There's quite a difference between "thinking with your dick" and just to taking ANY initiative.

 

From your OP, you seem almost... "assexual". It reads more as if it's not that you don't have a NEED to get laid all the time, you don't have ANY desire to do so. Which is WORLDS apart from "thinking with your dick"

 

So basically, you are on the complete opposite end of the spectrum and women are turned off by your lack of initiative.

 

I mean... If I go out with a guy, and I make my intentions known and hit on him and he still doesn't make a move, I will be turned off and move on. On the other hand, I don't want a guy whose only objective in life is to sleep with everything that moves.

 

But I DO want a guy who responds positively to my advances, even if they are subtle.

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I'm generally as honest IRL as I am here. So some people (and women) really like me. Others really hate me. Totally fine by me.

 

Same here. I've found that women do love my honesty. And they do tell me that I'm easy to talk to, and generally open up to me. But all of that only happens as long as I dont try to date them. If I'm trying to date them, it seems I have to be sly, mysterious, and not be so attentive.

 

I have to get to know a woman to be attracted to her. Most guys want to f**k a woman as soon as they see her. Women seem to sense that. Even though they say they "want a guy to like them for their who they are instead of their body", the guy that wants their body typically makes his intentions known from the start. The guy that wants to know her as a person usually risks being friendzoned.

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Justanaverageguy

All women play games, at all ages. That's life. Personally, I'm more forgiving of younger women playing games (because they are more fertile and I want children). If older women play too many games, I'm all like :eek::laugh::lmao:

 

I'm early 30's and kind of new back to the dating pool. I have been dating a lot of girls in the 27-30 range and I have to say its the least game playing I have encountered. Its been great - girls are much more straight forward. Maybe its a magic window where they are all looking to settle down and get serious so the games are temporarily out while they race their biological clocks and friends to get married :) Might all come back when they get that out of their system.

 

Nah, it's not your geography. Women like men that drink the koolaid. If you disagree with them (especially about topics related to feminism), they'll get pretty pissed.

 

Personally, I have a very polarizing personality. I'm generally as honest IRL as I am here. So some people (and women) really like me. Others really hate me. Totally fine by me.

 

Yeah it depends what you're looking for. Young guys, or just guys who want to get laid want as many options as possible. So they put up with the girls **** and play along and become pleasers. That is actually the main cause of the problem. Guys doing anything to get sex - leads to girls thinking they can do anything and still get guys.

 

But when you look for a LDR you are looking for someone who you actually like to be with. Not just have sex with. I am kind in that mode now after a few months of having fun and I have become ruthless with my dating. If I sense games or if a girl just doesn't fit the personality and type of girl I am looking for then - see you later.

 

It really all depends what you are there for.

Edited by Justanaverageguy
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But I DO want a guy who responds positively to my advances, even if they are subtle.

 

I understand all that. But what a woman thinks is an obvious subtle gesture to gain a guys attention is typically seen from a guys point of view as a dot from a red sharpie on a wall already painted red ;)

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I'd just like to point out that I don't think with my **** either because I'm female, but that didn't stop me from being proactive about meeting guys to try to start a relationship or from being polite. Just not putting your **** first doesn't mean you are automatically you are uninterested or that you are passive. So I'm actually going to take the counterpoint that you are leading with your ****, because you seem to be saying "Since I don't care if I have sex with you, I don't really care, period," so in essence you're saying if it's not for sex, then why bother.

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Seems like this is a post about not getting laid, missing opportunities to get laid, and not being too fussed about it either.

It is all about deliberately doing very little to attract a woman and it is then somehow all the woman's fault for playing games...

 

If you want to be the 100m world champion, you need to actually get out there and do some running and not sit back and blame everyone else for not seeing your "potential".

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guys who want to get laid want as many options as possible. So they put up with the girls **** and play along and become pleasers. That is actually the main cause of the problem. Guys doing anything to get sex - leads to girls thinking they can do anything and still get guys.

 

 

So true. This spoils it for men and women on both sides. Even if a woman does find me attractive, and wants to have sex with me, if she sees that I'm "too mature and honest" that could scare her away because its much easier for her to just sleep with a jerk and leave him later on, than risk the chance at feeling something for a guy that treats her with respect.

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I understand all that. But what a woman thinks is an obvious subtle gesture to gain a guys attention is typically seen from a guys point of view as a dot from a red sharpie on a wall already painted red ;)

 

OK so you have difficulty reading the signs, do some research into body language.

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Seems like this is a post about not getting laid, missing opportunities to get laid, and not being too fussed about it either.

It is all about deliberately doing very little to attract a woman and it is then somehow all the woman's fault for playing games...

 

If you want to be the 100m world champion, you need to actually get out there and do some running and not sit back and blame everyone else for not seeing your "potential".

 

I've actually have had more than my share of encounters and relationships with women. I am simply countering the popular phrase that women use about wanting a guy that doesnt think with his dick.

 

You can focus on just dating, without the sex and this all still fits. In a nutshell, this whole premise comes down to what women say they want, and what they are actually attracted to.

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So true. This spoils it for men and women on both sides. Even if a woman does find me attractive, and wants to have sex with me, if she sees that I'm "too mature and honest" that could scare her away because its much easier for her to just sleep with a jerk and leave him later on, than risk the chance at feeling something for a guy that treats her with respect.

 

Wait a minute this forum and real life is full of women looking for "mature and honest men".

What age group are you dealing with?

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OK so you have difficulty reading the signs, do some research into body language.

 

 

lol most men have difficulty in picking up the "signs" women give off. The only reason it works for some men is because he is going to go after her whether he sees a sign or not....making the woman think her "signs" worked.

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Personally...I can really only think of one woman that gave me any blatant signs that she was interested. All the other women I've dated or slept with I pursued because I was actually interested, not because she gave me a sign.

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You can focus on just dating, without the sex and this all still fits. In a nutshell, this whole premise comes down to what women say they want, and what they are actually attracted to.

 

I always have a problem with any poster that lumps women into ONE group, with usually the implication that "women" generally want jerks.

SOME women want jerks, SOME women want a better man but end up with a jerk, and SOME women would not be seen dead with a jerk

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Justanaverageguy
So true. This spoils it for men and women on both sides. Even if a woman does find me attractive, and wants to have sex with me, if she sees that I'm "too mature and honest" that could scare her away because its much easier for her to just sleep with a jerk and leave him later on, than risk the chance at feeling something for a guy that treats her with respect.

 

Oh dear god. No sorry now you have completely lost me - that excuse and logic is absurd. A woman is not scared away because you are "too mature and honest" she is not scared because you will "treat her with respect". She also doesn't sleep with "a jerk" because it is easier and she can leave him later. You have the nice guy syndrome.

 

She sleeps with the guy you call a jerk because he is attractive to her and because she wants to. Period. Conversely what you are putting out is not attractive so that is why she doesn't sleep with you. Instead of making excuses and blaming the jerks figure out the real reason why women aren't finding you attractive and improve yourself - in a way you are comfortable with - so they are attracted to you.

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Seems like this is a post about not getting laid, missing opportunities to get laid, and not being too fussed about it either.

It is all about deliberately doing very little to attract a woman and it is then somehow all the woman's fault for playing games...

 

If you want to be the 100m world champion, you need to actually get out there and do some running and not sit back and blame everyone else for not seeing your "potential".

 

I could not have said this better myself! Maybe OP puts subliminal signals that makes a girl think he's not interested so why would she put herself out there? It's fine to be yourself and want a girl to like you for that, but you still have to let her know you are interested!

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If us guys didn't think with our dicks, the human race would go extinct. You're welcome ladies :)

 

 

Okok.. In all seriousness, I don't see why this is a negative thing. One of the main reasons people get into relationships is to have sex and have the feeling of being close with another person. There's nothing wrong with that!

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toolforgrowth

I think most women want a sexual man, but where sex isn't his ONLY motivation. Do I think with my d!ck? Nope. I've turned down plenty of opportunities because the female was far too much drama. Sex isn't worth that.

 

But am I still a highly sexual creature and love sex? You betcha. Just ask my GF, provided she can even stand today. ;)

 

It's one thing to have sexual urges and control them until the time is right, yet entirely another so suppress them completely while dating. If I hadn't thought there was any chemistry between my GF and I, there's no way I would have dated her, no matter how sweet she is.

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autumnnight
I think most women want a sexual man, but where sex isn't his ONLY motivation. Do I think with my d!ck? Nope. I've turned down plenty of opportunities because the female was far too much drama. Sex isn't worth that.

 

But am I still a highly sexual creature and love sex? You betcha. Just ask my GF, provided she can even stand today. ;)

 

It's one thing to have sexual urges and control them until the time is right, yet entirely another so suppress them completely while dating. If I hadn't thought there was any chemistry between my GF and I, there's no way I would have dated her, no matter how sweet she is.

 

THIS is a healthy balance. And see, he has a girlfriend who adores him.

 

Learn from this man

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toolforgrowth
THIS is a healthy balance. And see, he has a girlfriend who adores him.

 

Learn from this man

 

Thanks AN!

 

We all want a successful relationship both in and out of the bedroom. Focusing entirely on the out of bedroom experience, for both men and women, will not yield you the kind of partner you want. Unless that's what the OP is going for...?

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I'd expect the guy to take the initiative, whether he is looking for something short term or long term. I'd rather meet someone keen and interested than someone who appeared uninterested or was cynical about what he thought was game playing. I suppose I am looking for a guy who is stronger than me in some way and is resourceful. Sitting back and refusing to act or showing no interest just does fit with that.

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I'd expect the guy to take the initiative, whether he is looking for something short term or long term. I'd rather meet someone keen and interested than someone who appeared uninterested or was cynical about what he thought was game playing.

 

So you'd rather meet a guy that plays along with the game playing, rather than a guy that frowns upon it??? This is exactly what was talked about in an earlier post. A lot of guys "conform" in order to get with a woman, be it sex or dating. I do praise you for being honest, even though I disagree with the situation.

 

I suppose I am looking for a guy who is stronger than me in some way and is resourceful. Sitting back and refusing to act or showing no interest just does fit with that.

 

But isnt that a double standard??? You and majority of other women find it unattractive when a guy refuses to act/show interest.....yet you and majority of women refuse to act/show interest because you think its the mans job to do it. Am I the only one that sees that as crazy logic??? Or am I the one thats nuts for trying to apply logic to any of this to begin with?? <<<THOSE two last sentences are a prime example of what I mean when I say I think without using my d**k. Most men would tell me I'm an idiot, and that I should just deal with it, so I can get laid. But when sh*t doesnt make sense, I take a step back and analyze it.

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