Gloria25 Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 Ok, this is sort of a spin-off from Frant2thepoint's thread about that social experiment video of that woman asking guys for sex... MY question is this: How do guys feel about a woman who doesn't flat out ask for sex, but is insinuating that she does want sex with you? I'll use my recent crush as an example. I thought I saw him checking me out after we had our first convo. So, I approached him and asked him is he was checking me out, he denied it, then admitted it, and said he was looking for a hook up - so I gave him my tel. Then, he was ready to hook up right then and there - but I wasn't. So, I told him I'd reschedule - and when I ultimately rescheduled, he changed his mind. Sometimes I wonder if he got cold feet. Sometimes I wonder if he was uncomfortable with a woman being so direct with him. Cuz, IMO, while I didn't want sex right then and there, I'm sure he knew the reason I gave him my tel and approached him was cuz I wanted sex (hence, his "I wanna hook up" response). So guys, is it still awkward and/or a turn off when a woman approaches you with the insinuation that she wants sex? Does it matter how/where/when it was done? Link to post Share on other sites
toolforgrowth Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 My xGF totally approached me for sex. And it was HAAWWWT. My xWW was in the midst of her A at the time, and let's just say it did wonders for my ego and sex life. Granted I already knew who she was. If it was a strange woman whom I literally did not know, it might be a little different. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 Like the video, a totally random girl wouldn't turn me on. I'd have to know her pretty well. I'd have to feel that she had some type of attraction or connection with me. I wouldn't want to be picked from random or convenience. Having a girl I'm attracted to initialize sex doesn't bother me at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SummerDreams Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 What is the difference between directly asking for sex and insunuating you want it? And why would a woman get in a position to directly ask for sex? I mean, not even men do that. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 MY question is this: How do guys feel about a woman who doesn't flat out ask for sex, but is insinuating that she does want sex with you? No different than any other dating situation. I view it as interest. If the lady is single (important since married women have propositioned me in the past) and I find her attractive I'd go out on a date with her. If her interest is purely sexual and has no interest in dating, then it's a miss. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 So, I told him I'd reschedule - and when I ultimately rescheduled, he changed his mind. [...] Cuz, IMO, while I didn't want sex right then and there, I'm sure he knew the reason I gave him my tel and approached him was cuz I wanted sex My guess is that he was willing if it was easy, but wasn't willing to jump through hoops. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 It depends on the circumstance. Probably not with your example Gloria, since you weren't just direct but gave him no power. You didn't let him approach, once you got him to admit he was up for it you told him no and that you'd reschedule. Then once he lost interest you started giving him the green light again. It was almost like the mindgames Theon's captor played with him on Game of Thrones. =/ If it's done in a feminine way maybe Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gloria25 Posted April 26, 2015 Author Share Posted April 26, 2015 It depends on the circumstance. Probably not with your example Gloria, since you weren't just direct but gave him no power. You didn't let him approach, once you got him to admit he was up for it you told him no and that you'd reschedule. Then once he lost interest you started giving him the green light again. It was almost like the mindgames Theon's captor played with him on Game of Thrones. =/ If it's done in a feminine way maybe OH, then what is considered a "feminine way" to do this may I ask? Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 OH, then what is considered a "feminine way" to do this may I ask? Push him back on the table and tear his pants off. That'll get things moving. Women... do not worry about doing this at all. Only very few men would have a problem with this. To the majority of us, it's like Penthouse letters come true. An amazing life experience your guy will nver forget. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 OH, then what is considered a "feminine way" to do this may I ask? Just give him some power. Like if you want to steer the conversation in that direction then have sex with him when he picks a time. Don't make it 100% on your terms. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 Sigh.... I was born in the wrong century I will do some smiling, proverbial hanky-dropping, even overt flirting. But I cannot fathom asking for sex, even indirectly. At least not at first. It is the same reason I stink at the whole online dating messagey thing. I will respond to a message, maybe even send an additional "have a nice week." But I won't be sending message after message without a redsponse because I don't like feeling like a pest or a chaser. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Davey L Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 Gloria that may have been just a bit too overt an approach. It is somewhat disconcerting to be directly asked for sex. Personally I've always enjoyed the hunt; the approach, the flirting, feeling the sexual tension and the excitement that goes with it. As a married man though I can't take it past the flirting stage any more. That's not to say I don't like it that women my age (40's) know what they want, but I do like a little subtlety about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 And why would a woman get in a position to directly ask for sex? I mean, not even men do that. But it would be nice if we could. I would love it if interested women would just ask. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 Push him back on the table and tear his pants off. That'll get things moving. Women... do not worry about doing this at all. Only very few men would have a problem with this. To the majority of us, it's like Penthouse letters come true. An amazing life experience your guy will nver forget. Yep!!! Women really don't understand men at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 and said he was looking for a hook up - so I gave him my tel. Then, he was ready to hook up right then and there - but I wasn't. So, I told him I'd reschedule - and when I ultimately rescheduled, he changed his mind. This is why. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 MY question is this: How do guys feel about a woman who doesn't flat out ask for sex, but is insinuating that she does want sex with you? We aren't nearly as good of mind readers as women would like us to be. Never assume a man "gets it" when you drop hints. I have seen more examples than I can remember of women getting angry because a man didn't act on some subtle clue that she thinks he understood. I can remember many times in my life that even after the fact, the hints weren't obvious to me at all. We don't think like women and spend a lifetime learning your secret code. Link to post Share on other sites
SummerDreams Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 But it would be nice if we could. I would love it if interested women would just ask. Of course a man would love free sex without any responsibilities and emotions involved but women do care for their dignity and they don't like to be called easy sl#ts. Some may like it, I don't deny it, some may not care, some may not even think they'll be called that. But why would I knowingly give the opportunity to a stranger to call me names and degrade me only to get sex? Doesn't make sense. I'm not that starved for sex, thank you very much. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 So guys, is it still awkward and/or a turn off when a woman approaches you with the insinuation that she wants sex? Does it matter how/where/when it was done? For me, there has to be flirting, sexy banter, touching, some connection, and finally opportunity to kiss and swap saliva. From there I would be much more comfortable with having sex with the woman. The other thing to look out for is having an agreement on what the encounter is. Will it be just purely fun and sex, or potential for dating and relationship. Laying down some ground rules help alleviate post-sex awkwardness. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gloria25 Posted April 29, 2015 Author Share Posted April 29, 2015 (edited) This is why. Oh no it's not... He didn't get with me because he couldn't handle a real woman... The best he can do is women who are desperate for just anybody to pick them up... This thread got me thinking... The problem wasn't my approach with him or most dudes... The problem is "me", I keep on trying to get with losers. Real men know just fine how to pick up on a woman's interest and act accordingly. Little boys go and hide. Edited April 29, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator a little rude. ~T Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 (edited) Sounding an awful lot like a woman scorned. Did you consider the possibility that he just doesn't find you appealing... or at least not enough to jump through hoops? If he's as lame as you claim, then what makes him so appealing to you? Edited April 29, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gloria25 Posted April 29, 2015 Author Share Posted April 29, 2015 Sounding an awful lot like a woman scorned. Did you consider the possibility that he just doesn't find you appealing... or at least not enough to jump through hoops? If he's as lame as you claim, then what makes him so appealing to you? Scorned? How would you feel if someone followed you around on message board and played word games making you think you'd have a chance with them? How would you feel if that person took advice they asked for on this MB and/or saw you post in other threads and/or see you do in real life and "imitate" it to please other women and to get "kudos" from other people, then turn around and come to this MB and refer to you as a "disease" they must rid themselves of? If I'm such a disease ridden harlet that must be burnt in Town Square at midnight then why does my advice/tastes/opinions/habits be something he wants to learn, adopt, and/or replicate. See, last nite on a radio show they talk how people in a RL "elevate" each other...they are to bring out the best in you. If they are not, then what's the point? I feel I inspired some of his development from his lamehood, yet Petunia gets to benefit from it. Oh, well, lesson learned...you can't date/marry/have interest in someone based on "potential"...cuz they are who they are. So yep, he was a lameo from day one and I got so wrapped up in thinking things about me were sorta "rubbing off" on him and he'd come to be a guy that had characteristics I liked...But no, he was just using me to impress Petunia, his family, friends, and himself (raise his self esteem). Again, this thread has taught me that there's nothing wrong with my approach to men - my problem is the "males" I'm choosing to put the moves on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gloria25 Posted April 29, 2015 Author Share Posted April 29, 2015 Sounding an awful lot like a woman scorned. Did you consider the possibility that he just doesn't find you appealing... or at least not enough to jump through hoops? If he's as lame as you claim, then what makes him so appealing to you? Also, he "has" no longer been "appealing" to me for a minute...I've been chatting up/pursuing other options...as from him coming on here and calling me a "self-righteous byach" under one of his many usernames was enough for me to give up on whatever delusions I had for him. I will refrain from using examples of him here, cuz it is opening up new wounds and inviting him to appear as the Hydra in other threads of mine. Oh, better yet, I need to stick with the plan of just posting under a new/different username and hope he moves on to obsessing about the ex or someone besides me. Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 Thread closed at OP's request. ~Thank you to all the posters that took the time to reply. Link to post Share on other sites
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