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Do you ever regret not cheating?


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Do you ever regret not cheating?

 

I was talking with a couple of buddies and a family member and the discussion went to cheating. I was surprised at how many of the guys said one of their biggest regrets was not cheating at all or not enough when they were younger. One guy said "I can't believe I wasted my time being faithful in college when it was being thrown at me so often and I ended up breaking up with that girl anyway". Another said "I had so many chances to double dip, I should've taken that opportunity".

 

So the question is to the loveshack community have you ever regretted not cheating and if you did why?

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never.

 

things were so simple for me - if i wanted to have lots & lots of sex with lots & lots of different people? i didn't date anyone, i was single & i did whatever i wanted! for the life of me, i couldn't understand why would free, young folks, without a care in the world, without children, loans & marriages EVER cheat... you know? like... just go be single and do whatever you want to do!

 

maybe it's because i was always my own person, i'm not afraid of being on my own (single) & don't identify myself through a relationship or someone else - and that's something a LOT of people struggle with.

 

so - no, i don't regret NOT cheating & i won't cheat ever. to me, asking "do you regret not cheating" is like asking "do you regret not jumping off of a cliff" - why would ANYONE want to CHEAT? just go, be single and live your life. it's truly as simple as that.

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Frank2thepoint

Nope, never regretted it. Cheating never solves or fixes anything in a relationship.

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Lose your moral integrity because you wanted to sleep around more? No. I may kinda wish I'd not been so naive and realized how broken it was sooner or that I'd not married the only person I'd ever kissed.. The lack of knowledge before going into it...

But not really that either. Regrets are stupid. You can't do anything about what did or didn't happen, you can only learn and modify your behavior from what you learned.

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It's interesting that these people regret not cheating instead of regretting taking girl xy as a GF they didn't care about in the first place. It's like having no backbone is fine as long as you're using your opportunities.

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organizedchaos
Do you ever regret not cheating?

 

I was talking with a couple of buddies and a family member and the discussion went to cheating. I was surprised at how many of the guys said one of their biggest regrets was not cheating at all or not enough when they were younger. One guy said "I can't believe I wasted my time being faithful in college when it was being thrown at me so often and I ended up breaking up with that girl anyway". Another said "I had so many chances to double dip, I should've taken that opportunity".

 

So the question is to the loveshack community have you ever regretted not cheating and if you did why?

 

Has to be the most ridiculous rationale I've ever heard. If you feel like you're missing out by not hooking up with as many women/men as you want, then you should break up with them and stay single. You can't have it both ways. SMH.

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I regret not cheating on my ex as it would have - no doubt - caused her to end our bad relationship much sooner and saved me years of unhappiness. However, I passed up some opportunities because of my ideals and failed to end the marriage myself, until many years later.

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Cheating is missing out on an "opportunity"?

 

Look, I don't get it...

 

Ok, "strange" is interesting...it's "new", it's "different", shoot, it probably is 10x better than what you got at home...

 

But fact IS - there is always gonna be someone smarter, hotter, sexier, better than what you have....till the day you die

 

Maturity and confidence in yourself is when you look and realize what you got in front of you...geesh. I mean, mess up your RL just to check out strange - especially when you're never gonna stop seeing strange. I mean, strange is every freakin' where. Walk down the street and you're gonna see something smarter, hotter, sexier, and/or better than what you got. :rolleyes:

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Yes, I sort of regret not cheating. The real regret is not divorcing her 25 years ago. But it is frustrating to think of all of the missed opportunities while I was being loyal for nothing. There are two women from college that I still think about from time to time. They wanted me badly!!! One answered the door topless when I went over to study! :laugh: Walking away was one of the hardest things I've ever done. She was hot and I wanted her as much as she wanted me.

 

Why regret? What bothered me the most is that in spite of a mostly sexless marriage, I never cheated, and she never even appreciated that. My loyalty meant nothing to her.

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organizedchaos
Yes, I sort of regret not cheating. The real regret is not divorcing her 25 years ago. But it is frustrating to think of all of the missed opportunities while I was being loyal for nothing. There are two women from college that I still think about from time to time. They wanted me badly!!! One answered the door topless when I went over to study! :laugh: Walking away was one of the hardest things I've ever done. She was hot and I wanted her as much as she wanted me.

 

Why regret? What bothered me the most is that in spite of a mostly sexless marriage, I never cheated, and she never even appreciated that. My loyalty meant nothing to her.[/QUOTE]

 

It should mean something to you.

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It should mean something to you.

 

 

It does. But the price was pretty damn high for an abstraction. Based on who I believed her to be, it was worth doing for her. But to go all of those years just so that I can say I did the right thing? The price was too high. Having a life is important too. But then I guess that gets back to "I should have divorced her". I just didn't know it back then.

Edited by Robert Z
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For myself, I never saw the point in "cheating". If I wanted to have sex with someone else I would say so. If a current partner was not happy with that, they were always free to leave.

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Frank2thepoint
I regret not cheating on my ex as it would have - no doubt - caused her to end our bad relationship much sooner and saved me years of unhappiness. However, I passed up some opportunities because of my ideals and failed to end the marriage myself, until many years later.

 

You wanted to put the responsibility of ending the relationship on your ex? Did you not know you could have taken the initiative if you were unhappy?

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You wanted to put the responsibility of ending the relationship on your ex? Did you not know you could have taken the initiative if you were unhappy?

 

I did say that I did eventually. I was stupidly optimistic that things would change. They never did, of course. My life would probably have been far better if I'd been stupid enough to cheat rather than stupid enough to think a sexless marriage would improve.

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Do you ever regret not cheating?

 

I was talking with a couple of buddies and a family member and the discussion went to cheating. I was surprised at how many of the guys said one of their biggest regrets was not cheating at all or not enough when they were younger. One guy said "I can't believe I wasted my time being faithful in college when it was being thrown at me so often and I ended up breaking up with that girl anyway". Another said "I had so many chances to double dip, I should've taken that opportunity".

 

So the question is to the loveshack community have you ever regretted not cheating and if you did why?

 

Have you had an offer, Revolver? :)

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Do you ever regret not cheating?

 

I was talking with a couple of buddies and a family member and the discussion went to cheating. I was surprised at how many of the guys said one of their biggest regrets was not cheating at all or not enough when they were younger. One guy said "I can't believe I wasted my time being faithful in college when it was being thrown at me so often and I ended up breaking up with that girl anyway". Another said "I had so many chances to double dip, I should've taken that opportunity".

 

So the question is to the loveshack community have you ever regretted not cheating and if you did why?

 

No.

 

I think for your friends what they should have regretted is being in exclusive relationship. The fact that they regret not cheating versus saying they regret tying themselves down and should have been single says a lot about them.

 

I believe most people in high school and college are better off only dating casually but I wouldn't ever think of it like you should cheat as much as you can then.

 

I can only imagine myself saying I regret not cheating in a case where I wanted to and didn't and then end up finding out I was cheated on by that very person, but even then, it would be more so an ironic situation in the moment like shyyyt I should have just cheated, rather than true regret.

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It's interesting that these people regret not cheating instead of regretting taking girl xy as a GF they didn't care about in the first place. It's like having no backbone is fine as long as you're using your opportunities.

 

This! Absolutely. I've never regretted not cheating. But I have regretted being in a dead end relationship and thus missing loads of opportunities to meet other women and yes, shag a few of them.

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The times that I didn't cheat I feel that my alarms and radar kept me out of harms way....so no I never regret the times I did not cheat.

 

With that said, I don't regret the times I cheated either.:D

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GoodOnPaper
Have you had an offer, Revolver? :)

 

THAT's the question, isn't it . . . .

 

To answer the OP, I don't regret not cheating -- I've never had much of a stomach for drama of that sort. On the other hand, I do regret never having had an offer. It would help answer a lot of validation-related questions that were never answered when I was single. Especially since I have improved myself physically, socially, and in terms of interests in the last 20-some years.

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Michelle ma Belle
No.

 

I think for your friends what they should have regretted is being in exclusive relationship. The fact that they regret not cheating versus saying they regret tying themselves down and should have been single says a lot about them.

 

 

BINGO! This was pretty much exactly what I was about to post.

 

I think this has less to do with having regret about NOT cheating and more to do with having regret for being exclusive too soon or too long.

 

Now, if you're someone that gets off on sneaking around and deceiving people and basically have no heart, then that's a whole other story.

 

I was married for 16 years and spent about half of that completely sexless against my wishes. If anyone had a great "excuse" to go out and cheat, I would have and had LOTS of opportunity which made being faithful and miserable very challenging. After much deep reflection, I realized I didn't want to be that girl. I was better than that, my family deserved better and even my husband deserved better than me taking the easy way out and eventually I left.

 

It's about choice. Everyone has a choice to be in a committed relationship or not. No one is holding a gun to your head so it makes no sense to me why people make the selfish choices they do.

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Yes, I sort of regret not cheating. The real regret is not divorcing her 25 years ago. But it is frustrating to think of all of the missed opportunities while I was being loyal for nothing. There are two women from college that I still think about from time to time. They wanted me badly!!! One answered the door topless when I went over to study! :laugh: Walking away was one of the hardest things I've ever done. She was hot and I wanted her as much as she wanted me.

 

Why regret? What bothered me the most is that in spite of a mostly sexless marriage, I never cheated, and she never even appreciated that. My loyalty meant nothing to her.

 

YI see it the same way as you : "The price was too high. Having a life is important too". But in fact you did the right thinhg, spiritually speaking. You don't want to be cheated in a next life. Personnaly, I could have had many girls in bed, and I didn't 'cause I didn't love them, so I felt I was cheating on them, if we had sex. So I also feel "The price was too high. Having a life is important too". But you fought for yopur relationship, you believe things would change, so yopu did the right thing. Hope you don't feel frustrated, if you do it's just your mind working on a low level, a sexual level. Maybe you could have been happier with someone else. Ok, you could say you were stupid, not much as I was, but I feel you did the right thing. Sex is not the most important thing, but society, the media, make us think like that.

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Frank2thepoint
I did say that I did eventually. I was stupidly optimistic that things would change. They never did, of course. My life would probably have been far better if I'd been stupid enough to cheat rather than stupid enough to think a sexless marriage would improve.

 

Everyone is optimistic things would change for the better in a bad relationship. It rarely does. I don't agree your life would have been better off if you cheated, because that just means you wanted to hurt your ex. It would make you vindictive, and in a way lower yourself to same level as your ex who manipulated you with no sex. Think of it as the other side of the same coin. It would have been better/wiser/smarter to have ended the relationship altogether without resorting to contemplate cheating and actually doing it. It's better to remove yourself from a toxic situation completely, then remain to do harm just to satiate your anger.

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Yes I do regret not cheating.

 

I had opportunities to cheat and was very attracted to a few men during my relationship but I never cheated. I loved my man and thought he loved me.

 

I never cheated, but I wanted to. But I didn't want to hurt him. I thought he was good person.

 

Years later - He cheated on me and left me for another woman.

 

Looking back, I wish I had of taken the chance and cheated. I might have ended up with a better guy.

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autumnnight

I can't imagine regretting not cheating.

 

That is like saying:

 

I regret missing an opportunity to lie to someone I claimed to love. I regret that I didn't take the chance to make them cry until they were sick, make them question their worth, darken their world, and lie awake at night. I regret that I never snuck around and made a fool out of them.

 

What kind of person wishes they had done that?

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