Gave myself till 26 to lose virginity, I'm 24

[Camaro Guy]

Well, almost 25 in a few months so I guess that counts. I'm putting the pressure on myself to lose my virginity however I can. I realize that I was just trying to "let it happen naturally" and let it happen "organically" but I now realize that's not an option for me. I didn't have any chances whatsoever in the past couple of years.

 

All of my friends are nonvirgins, quite a few are married, quite a few are in relationships, quite a few are playing the field. It seems like everyone except me is having a sex life. I want to have one so bad and it makes me feel terrible that I'm almost halfway through the third decade of my life without even a kiss.

 

Women expect sexual experience out of men and I don't want to be left holding the bag. Having a random hookup is pretty much out of the question because I don't have the skills to back it up. My best bet is FWB (hard) or relationship (harder). I then need to find a way to cover up my lack of experience. The shame is just too much and I don't want anyone else finding out.

 

I need to change all that. I'm putting a date on it so I can get it done. I've even put a countdown timer above my bed to remind me of the urgency to make it happen. This is getting ridiculous. There is no excuse for a man to remain a virgin if he has no religious reasons or is not waiting for marriage.

 

If anyone has any constructive ideas, please by all means voice them.

[Shining One]

First, don't advertise your virginity to women you are pursuing. You also need to stop pressuring yourself. Women can sense this and it's a turn off. Do you have a close friend who can be a wing man (or better yet, a wing woman)? This worked well for me when I was failing.

[Bohonia]

Women are attracted to confidence, i say that simply because we are attracted to a man who acts like a man (takes charge kind guy). You could be a complete novice as far as sex is concerned however if she's into you she'll do near anything to please you. Don't advertise that you are a virgin. Build up some confidence and who you are as a person start dating and socializing. Sex isn't everything work on what you CAN do and try not to pressure yourself.

[Toodaloo]

Well, almost 25 in a few months so I guess that counts. I'm putting the pressure on myself to lose my virginity however I can. I realize that I was just trying to "let it happen naturally" and let it happen "organically" but I now realize that's not an option for me. I didn't have any chances whatsoever in the past couple of years.

 

All of my friends are nonvirgins, quite a few are married, quite a few are in relationships, quite a few are playing the field. It seems like everyone except me is having a sex life. I want to have one so bad and it makes me feel terrible that I'm almost halfway through the third decade of my life without even a kiss.

 

Women expect sexual experience out of men and I don't want to be left holding the bag. Having a random hookup is pretty much out of the question because I don't have the skills to back it up. My best bet is FWB (hard) or relationship (harder). I then need to find a way to cover up my lack of experience. The shame is just too much and I don't want anyone else finding out.

 

I need to change all that. I'm putting a date on it so I can get it done. I've even put a countdown timer above my bed to remind me of the urgency to make it happen. This is getting ridiculous. There is no excuse for a man to remain a virgin if he has no religious reasons or is not waiting for marriage.

 

If anyone has any constructive ideas, please by all means voice them.

 

Oh my lordy...

 

For a start. Take the pressure off of yourself. Get that damned counter thing down off the wall.

 

Secondly. Believe it or not you can learn just as much from books as you can from "practice". Actually books are more informative.

 

Thirdly. Its not where he pokes his penis or how often he has poked it that maketh the man.

 

Quit making your life about your virginity. Make it about who you are as that will be far more interesting. Quit bringing it up! Concentrate on spending quality time with people and enjoying their company. Concentrate on a good home, good job, good friends and looking after your family. This is such a non subject!

 

Imagine how you would feel if someone went on and on and on and on and on about washing up liquid... Its boring, dull and probably going to make you think they are slightly coo coo! Same difference.

 

You are a man, own your masculinity. Enjoy it and the rest will come. I really do mean it. The worst thing ever is a guy that is desperate... imagine how she would feel coming back jumping on your bed looking up and seeing a "Virginity Loss Clock"... instead of banging you she would be up and out that door faster than a speeding bullet! Quit sabotaging yourself with this attitude!

[ThaWholigan]

Best thing to do would be to not put pressure on yourself. That will almost ensure you stay a virgin. Desperation isn't attractive. Focus on improvement, not the virginity.

[Camaro Guy]

Oh my lordy...

 

For a start. Take the pressure off of yourself. Get that damned counter thing down off the wall.

 

Secondly. Believe it or not you can learn just as much from books as you can from "practice". Actually books are more informative.

 

Thirdly. Its not where he pokes his penis or how often he has poked it that maketh the man.

 

Quit making your life about your virginity. Make it about who you are as that will be far more interesting. Quit bringing it up! Concentrate on spending quality time with people and enjoying their company. Concentrate on a good home, good job, good friends and looking after your family. This is such a non subject!

 

Imagine how you would feel if someone went on and on and on and on and on about washing up liquid... Its boring, dull and probably going to make you think they are slightly coo coo! Same difference.

 

You are a man, own your masculinity. Enjoy it and the rest will come. I really do mean it. The worst thing ever is a guy that is desperate... imagine how she would feel coming back jumping on your bed looking up and seeing a "Virginity Loss Clock"... instead of banging you she would be up and out that door faster than a speeding bullet! Quit sabotaging yourself with this attitude!

 

 

You don't understand. It's something that is part of who I am. My life has been defined by my inadequacies. I feel that I've missed out on so much life by not having these experiences. It constantly eats away and me and makes me wonder "what if". Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. That virginity clock is just another way to break the mold.

[digdug75]

You don't understand. It's something that is part of who I am. My life has been defined by my inadequacies. I feel that I've missed out on so much life by not having these experiences. It constantly eats away and me and makes me wonder "what if". Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. That virginity clock is just another way to break the mold.

 

 

 

 

Camaro you are only 25 missed out on life? I could see possibly if you were 60 with this issue that you find yourself obsessing over, but you are only 25. That is only 7 years out of high school. "What if" what Camaro? why are you rushing yourself? What magical thing do you think will happen once you have sex? Do you think that it will instantly change who you are as a person? Please elaborate on what is not being understood about your situation, and what you think will happen once you have sex! I can guarantee every single person that is replying to your post has been a virgin.

 

 

According to your OP you will not be having sex for love, and will be missing out on the real experience. Without love sex is no more than a release. A release that can be fixed by lefty or righty, and would be pretty much the same thing with no emotion involved in my opinion. others may say differently.

 

 

Virginity is part of who you are. Ok fine! Exactly what is wrong with being a virgin in your opinion? Besides the fact that you obsess over the idea of being a virgin, because you compare yourself towards others.

 

 

I 100% agree with Toodaloo !!!!!

[preraph]

One thing you have got all wrong is that women expect sexual experience from men. You're watching too much porn. First of all, most women do not place one-tenth the priority on sex as men do. It's not the most important thing to them. Most women do not place one-tenth as much priority on penis size as men do either. So you have the importance of sex all magnified because it's that important to you but you're assuming everyone else is the same way. Women are not usually that way. Women know that if they find an affectionate guy, they have to train him to their particular bodies anyway because literally no two women are alike in what works for them. So women know they have to train. Yes, most prefer a guy who isn't hesitant and meek and will just dive right in and have a good time, so the guy needs to not be acting like a scared bunny because that's just not attractive. But eagerness is good, even if it's not matched by skills, because a turned on man is a turn on to women.

 

My second point, and I can tell you me and my friends had a pow-wow about this and got some numbers put together on it, is that only about 1 men in 50 are really good in bed. But about 70 percent of them thought they were good in bed. Again, what's good for one may not be good for another woman. But in general, finding a man who's just across-the-board already good in bed is rare. They have to be trained. And what women found good in bed was, number one, eagerness, confidence, no hesitation, dove right in, used most of their appendages generously.

 

My last point is I found out a few years ago that about 40 years ago, I did, in fact, bang a virgin. We lost track of each other for many decades and then internet got us together for lunch and he told me. I didn't know the difference. It never crossed my mind he was a virgin. I remember him as being particularly sensual and tender in bed and felt wonderful in his arms. He remembers he was a virgin and had no idea what to do and was scared. But that I'll always be special to him

Edited April 18, 2015 by preraph

[Toodaloo]

You don't understand. It's something that is part of who I am. My life has been defined by my inadequacies. I feel that I've missed out on so much life by not having these experiences. It constantly eats away and me and makes me wonder "what if". Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. That virginity clock is just another way to break the mold.

 

Huh?

 

The ONLY thing that makes you who you are is that you haven't popped your cherry?

 

I thought you liked muscle cars and your good with tech and computers and stuff...

 

The virginity clock is just another way of you telling yourself that you are inadequate.

 

On my dating profile when it was up in the bit where it says "you should contact me if..." I wrote - you are someone extraordinary looking for someone a little less ordinary...

 

If you base your life on your failings and inadequacies than thats what you will be. Tell me CG what are you good at? What makes you less run of the mill? What makes you special and stand out from the crowd? If you tell me nothing then that there is your problem.

 

Your life needs to be what you are good at and what you enjoy and what you want to achicive and how you are going about achieving that...

 

One thing you have got all wrong is that women expect sexual experience from men. You're watching too much porn. First of all, most women do not place one-tenth the priority on sex as men do. It's not the most important thing to them. Most women do not place one-tenth as much priority on penis size as men do either. So you have the importance of sex all magnified because it's that important to you but you're assuming everyone else is the same way. Women are not usually that way. Women know that if they find an affectionate guy, they have to train him to their particular bodies anyway because literally no two women are alike in what works for them. So women know they have to train. Yes, most prefer a guy who isn't hesitant and meek and will just dive right in and have a good time, so the guy needs to not be acting like a scared bunny because that's just not attractive. But eagerness is good, even if it's not matched by skills, because a turned on man is a turn on to women.

 

My second point, and I can tell you me and my friends had a pow-wow about this and got some numbers put together on it, is that only about 1 men in 50 are really good in bed. But about 70 percent of them thought they were good in bed. Again, what's good for one may not be good for another woman. But in general, finding a man who's just across-the-board already good in bed is rare. They have to be trained. And what women found good in bed was, number one, eagerness, confidence, no hesitation, dove right in, used most of their appendages generously.

 

My last point is I found out a few years ago that about 40 years ago, I did, in fact, bang a virgin. We lost track of each other for many decades and then internet got us together for lunch and he told me. I didn't know the difference. It never crossed my mind he was a virgin. I remember him as being particularly sensual and tender in bed and felt wonderful in his arms. He remembers he was a virgin and had no idea what to do and was scared. But that I'll always be special to him

 

I love this post so much that I just have to quote it again... Please read it again.

 

The guy I lost my virginity to had no idea either and he didn't complain when he later found out either!!!

[spiderowl]

Firstly, stop putting artificial deadlines on yourself. It's a strange thing to do about something that should be organic and natural.

 

Perhaps your fear over your lack of experience is preventing you from taking up opportunities. If you are telling yourself no girl will want someone without experience, it can become a self-fulfilling prophesy.

 

I think I can safely promise you that lack of experience does not matter. Willingness to try things and check the woman is enjoying it does, that's all. I would rather be with someone lacking experience but interested in mutual enjoyment than a guy who has experience and is selfish or jaded. Women need love, affection and sensuality. If you can offer that, you've got a great chance of finding the woman you desire.

[Phoe]

I'm a woman who does NOT want a man who is exceptionally experienced. Numbers mean NOTHING. A man could be with 100 women and still be garbage in bed.

 

What I do find attractive? A man who wants to give pleasure. A man who puts effort into making his woman feel good. THAT is sexy. Not notches on the bedpost.

 

Getting "experience" in the form of numbers? Meh. Not into that at all.

 

I've been with more virgins than nonvirgins. And I did not have a single problem with their virginity. Not in the slightest.

[Camaro Guy]

Camaro you are only 25 missed out on life? I could see possibly if you were 60 with this issue that you find yourself obsessing over, but you are only 25. That is only 7 years out of high school. "What if" what Camaro? why are you rushing yourself? What magical thing do you think will happen once you have sex? Do you think that it will instantly change who you are as a person? Please elaborate on what is not being understood about your situation, and what you think will happen once you have sex! I can guarantee every single person that is replying to your post has been a virgin.

 

 

According to your OP you will not be having sex for love, and will be missing out on the real experience. Without love sex is no more than a release. A release that can be fixed by lefty or righty, and would be pretty much the same thing with no emotion involved in my opinion. others may say differently.

 

 

Virginity is part of who you are. Ok fine! Exactly what is wrong with being a virgin in your opinion? Besides the fact that you obsess over the idea of being a virgin, because you compare yourself towards others.

 

 

I 100% agree with Toodaloo !!!!!

 

Most people begin their sexual life at 17-18. Most will have had a sexual life towards the latter end of college. The minority has not. That 7 years out of high school makes all the ****ing difference. I feel like it's been a lot longer than that, especially when you have hormones raging. They've settled down now, obviously.

 

However, I define myself by my inadequacies because it pushes me to be a better version of myself. Yes, I give myself kudos when I do a job well done but I quickly move past it. Having sex with a woman proves to me that I have a chance, that I'm not falling behind. You can admit it: this isn't normal. I know that.

 

Most sane women want a man who knows what he is doing, who has been down that road before. Most women don't have time to train someone who explodes even before the act has really begun. They want someone who can perform and they want it yesterday. At this age, being a virgin signals that something just isn't right with the guy.

 

 

One thing you have got all wrong is that women expect sexual experience from men. You're watching too much porn. First of all, most women do not place one-tenth the priority on sex as men do. It's not the most important thing to them. Most women do not place one-tenth as much priority on penis size as men do either. So you have the importance of sex all magnified because it's that important to you but you're assuming everyone else is the same way. Women are not usually that way. Women know that if they find an affectionate guy, they have to train him to their particular bodies anyway because literally no two women are alike in what works for them. So women know they have to train. Yes, most prefer a guy who isn't hesitant and meek and will just dive right in and have a good time, so the guy needs to not be acting like a scared bunny because that's just not attractive. But eagerness is good, even if it's not matched by skills, because a turned on man is a turn on to women.

 

My second point, and I can tell you me and my friends had a pow-wow about this and got some numbers put together on it, is that only about 1 men in 50 are really good in bed. But about 70 percent of them thought they were good in bed. Again, what's good for one may not be good for another woman. But in general, finding a man who's just across-the-board already good in bed is rare. They have to be trained. And what women found good in bed was, number one, eagerness, confidence, no hesitation, dove right in, used most of their appendages generously.

 

My last point is I found out a few years ago that about 40 years ago, I did, in fact, bang a virgin. We lost track of each other for many decades and then internet got us together for lunch and he told me. I didn't know the difference. It never crossed my mind he was a virgin. I remember him as being particularly sensual and tender in bed and felt wonderful in his arms. He remembers he was a virgin and had no idea what to do and was scared. But that I'll always be special to him

 

 

I no longer watch porn. I'm doing this thing called "NoFap" where you abstain from masturbation and pornography in an attempt to reset your brain. It's worked a lot for me. Penis size is irrelevant to me but again, telling women you're a virgin at this age is a red sign. Thanks for the rest of your post, however. I'll keep it in mind.

Edited April 19, 2015 by Camaro Guy

[carhill]

You can accomplish a lot in a couple years. If I did the math right, that's 1,051,200 minutes. If averages work out, figure 30 of those will actually be involved in losing your virginity. That leaves 1,051,170 minutes to work out how. Personally, once I gave up on the virginity until engaged or married thing, losing it was easy. Took maybe a month or two. All it took was wanting sex and one lady who wanted the same thing. Done.

[Camaro Guy]

Firstly, stop putting artificial deadlines on yourself. It's a strange thing to do about something that should be organic and natural.

 

Perhaps your fear over your lack of experience is preventing you from taking up opportunities. If you are telling yourself no girl will want someone without experience, it can become a self-fulfilling prophesy.

 

I think I can safely promise you that lack of experience does not matter. Willingness to try things and check the woman is enjoying it does, that's all. I would rather be with someone lacking experience but interested in mutual enjoyment than a guy who has experience and is selfish or jaded. Women need love, affection and sensuality. If you can offer that, you've got a great chance of finding the woman you desire.

 

As I said, getting into a relationship would be ideal because I'd drop the bomb at a later date or after we have sex. When you tell some girls "I am waiting for the right person", they tend to get scared off. I am hesitant to go after hookups because sex doesn't come naturally to me. Hookups in a bar scenario would be off limits because again, women aren't looking to score with virgins there.

 

Thanks for all the feedback, guys.

[Camaro Guy]

Huh?

 

The ONLY thing that makes you who you are is that you haven't popped your cherry?

 

I thought you liked muscle cars and your good with tech and computers and stuff...

 

The virginity clock is just another way of you telling yourself that you are inadequate.

 

On my dating profile when it was up in the bit where it says "you should contact me if..." I wrote - you are someone extraordinary looking for someone a little less ordinary...

 

If you base your life on your failings and inadequacies than thats what you will be. Tell me CG what are you good at? What makes you less run of the mill? What makes you special and stand out from the crowd? If you tell me nothing then that there is your problem.

 

Your life needs to be what you are good at and what you enjoy and what you want to achicive and how you are going about achieving that...

 

I like cars in general. I'm not really a tech and computers guy but I dabble.

 

Strengths:

 

 

• Dedicated to the gym, have put on massive size over the past couple of years. Currently 6'1, 187 lbs. Was 6'1, 145 lbs when I started out.
  
• Am a top notch writer. Not to sound bigheaded but I am always complimented on my writing skills. I worked as a copywriter for a few years.
  
• I had a job for a few summers as an apprentice mechanic, so I know cars very well.
  
• Can play music, have been playing music since I was 5. I am a multi-instrumentalist. Piano, sax, guitar, banjo, violin, mandolin.
  
• Always do any job to the best of my ability, even if it is menial work.
  
• Make a lot of friends easily, I tend to disarm people and they tell me a lot of stuff without me even saying much.
  

 

Weakness:

 

 

• I tend to be a perfectionist to a fault, it is both a strength and weakness I believe.
  
• I am very paranoid.
  
• Moody
  
• Not as assertive as I should be but I have gotten much better at that.
  

 

 

That's all I can think of for now.

[preraph]

I no longer watch porn. I'm doing this thing called "NoFap" where you abstain from masturbation and pornography in an attempt to reset your brain. It's worked a lot for me. Penis size is irrelevant to me but again, telling women you're a virgin at this age is a red sign. Thanks for the rest of your post, however. I'll keep it in mind.

 

Now, don't abstain from "fap" for too long because you need to do that to cope -- we all do, pretty much. But you are doing right abstaining from porn and, well, fap because porn and fap together can eventually make it hard for some guys to have actual live sex because they get used to only their favorite routines, and you have to set all that aside with a live partner. But you can fap without porn. Also, most porn is not at all about what women like, so don't get any ideas that it is. It's no way to learn what women like.

 

And just don't tell women you're a virgin, and they'll never know! In general, it should be off limits to talk about numbers or the lack thereof, either one. It's never productive.

 

And P.S., if you're a muscle car guy, isn't it a temptation to just blow off spending money on women altogether and save up for a Superbird? Or are you strictly a Camaro guy? Boy, those new Camaros sound great!

[Toodaloo]

I like cars in general. I'm not really a tech and computers guy but I dabble.

 

Strengths:

 

 

• Dedicated to the gym, have put on massive size over the past couple of years. Currently 6'1, 187 lbs. Was 6'1, 145 lbs when I started out.
  
• Am a top notch writer. Not to sound bigheaded but I am always complimented on my writing skills. I worked as a copywriter for a few years.
  
• I had a job for a few summers as an apprentice mechanic, so I know cars very well.
  
• Can play music, have been playing music since I was 5. I am a multi-instrumentalist. Piano, sax, guitar, banjo, violin, mandolin.
  
• Always do any job to the best of my ability, even if it is menial work.
  
• Make a lot of friends easily, I tend to disarm people and they tell me a lot of stuff without me even saying much.
  

 

Weakness:

 

 

• I tend to be a perfectionist to a fault, it is both a strength and weakness I believe.
  
• I am very paranoid.
  
• Moody
  
• Not as assertive as I should be but I have gotten much better at that.
  

 

 

That's all I can think of for now.

 

Apologies I was thinking of the wrong person.

 

Already you have more positive than negative!

 

Most people begin their sexual life at 17-18.

 

Dunno where you get this from... Most people I know were early twenties, some mid to late twenties and a few teenagers...

 

DO NOT TELL WOMEN THAT YOU ARE A VIRGIN. If they ask be vague. Make sure you know how to get a condom on quickly and with out fuss. I know it sounds daft but that one small act will put them at ease. It shows that you know how to look after yourself and you are confident. Confidence is really important.

 

Just get on with it and enjoy. Trust me they will not notice and will not care unless you start making it a deal by telling them. If you think you have pressure to pop your cherry imagine the pressure of having to be so special and make it wonderful knowing that its probably not going to be all that great until you have discovered each others hot spots any way...

 

Seriously just concentrate on dating and spending time with women. Calm down that testosterone and concentrate on spending quality time with women and enjoying their company.

 

Get that bloody ticker clock off of your bloody wall. Seriously. Thats not cool in any way shape nor form and is feeding your feelings of inadequacy.

[Mrlonelyone]

You could always pay for it. Time was in the western US a lady of the evening was a 16 year old boys birthday present.

[spiderowl]

As I said, getting into a relationship would be ideal because I'd drop the bomb at a later date or after we have sex. When you tell some girls "I am waiting for the right person", they tend to get scared off. I am hesitant to go after hookups because sex doesn't come naturally to me. Hookups in a bar scenario would be off limits because again, women aren't looking to score with virgins there.

 

Thanks for all the feedback, guys.

 

Actually, telling a girl you are looking for the right person would be a bit offputting. It puts pressure on the girl to be 'the one', to fall in love with you and to offer commitment. No-one is going to know that they want that from the start. You are looking for a very precious woman and most are going to find that intimidating in case they don't match up or can't offer commitment.

[Camaro Guy]

Actually, telling a girl you are looking for the right person would be a bit offputting. It puts pressure on the girl to be 'the one', to fall in love with you and to offer commitment. No-one is going to know that they want that from the start. You are looking for a very precious woman and most are going to find that intimidating in case they don't match up or can't offer commitment.

 

No, I'm not waiting for the "right girl". I would only be saying that to save face, even though it is a lame excuse.

[AVarma]

The general consensus on loveshack is that if you're a virgin that you should stay quiet about it. There are a few users who disagree but they're in the minority.

 

What I've done so far is to try to lose weight and get some hobbies. It's actually how I met the lady who I had my first kiss with a while back. She never knew. It's how I got my second kiss as well.

 

I'm still a virgin but I'm hoping that I get to lose it soon.

 

Maybe you shouldn't worry so much about how women feel about older virgins. If you don't tell them they'll never know. I never told the women I had never kissed anyone before and she never knew although I do think she could probably sense my nervousness. Also I'm not sure how good I was.

[kart180]

don't worry, I'm a guy who's still a Virgin at the ripe age of 29. I'm happy but I know and hope I will not be a 40 year old virgin. luckly I will dats and marry one girl who likes me for me

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Oh my lordy...

 

For a start. Take the pressure off of yourself. Get that damned counter thing down off the wall.

 

Secondly. Believe it or not you can learn just as much from books as you can from "practice". Actually books are more informative.

 

Thirdly. Its not where he pokes his penis or how often he has poked it that maketh the man.

 

Quit making your life about your virginity. Make it about who you are as that will be far more interesting. Quit bringing it up! Concentrate on spending quality time with people and enjoying their company. Concentrate on a good home, good job, good friends and looking after your family. This is such a non subject!

 

Imagine how you would feel if someone went on and on and on and on and on about washing up liquid... Its boring, dull and probably going to make you think they are slightly coo coo! Same difference.

 

You are a man, own your masculinity. Enjoy it and the rest will come. I really do mean it. The worst thing ever is a guy that is desperate... imagine how she would feel coming back jumping on your bed looking up and seeing a "Virginity Loss Clock"... instead of banging you she would be up and out that door faster than a speeding bullet! Quit sabotaging yourself with this attitude!

 

I will admit, if us guys were not expected to be so damn mentally independent about being single, as in it was okay to be a little bit needy or desperate for a girlfriend, then being the initiator/pursuer would be a hell of a lot easier, it wouldn't feel like a damn paradox of "damned if you do, damned if you don't"