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Girlfriend Going on School Trip for 2 Weeks


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When I first started to date my girlfriend, she told me she was going on a school trip to Borneo in April, and it is this Saturday she is leaving for 2 weeks. I'm scared because we won't be talking very much.

 

Ever since we have been going out, we text everyday, throughout the day, with the occasional call some evenings, we literally talk all day, and I'm not sure what I'm going to do, I'm going to miss her so much, she means everything to me. There will be virtually no contact (as texts and calls would cost a fortune), although there is supposed to be wifi there, but there is an 8 hour time difference, she said she will try to email me or something like that to talk, but we won't be able to have a conversation as she will be busy and because of the time difference. It won't be everyday, which she replies either.

 

I've spend the week at her dad's house, to spend time with her before she goes away, it's honestly been perfect, but sadly today (the last day) I cried in front of her, because I'm going to miss her so much, this made her cry too. She says she will miss me, especially at nights with no cuddles.

 

I don't know what to do, she hasn't even left and its making me cry, and I know people will say get over it, its only 2 weeks, but I honestly love her and can someone help me please?

 

Also, its her 18th birthday, the day before she comes back, any advice on a present?

 

Many thanks in advance.

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It's 2 weeks not 2 years. Do not over react.

 

 

Be happy for her that she gets this opportunity.

 

 

Be grateful for the time you do get to chat. Don't be clingy, whiney or needy. Ask about her day & her adventures.

 

 

Plan a sweet surprise for when she gets home. After I got back from a trip early on in my relationship, my then BF now husband gave me a bag of Hershey's kisses for all the ones we missed while I was away

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It's 2 weeks not 2 years. Do not over react.

 

 

Be happy for her that she gets this opportunity.

 

 

Be grateful for the time you do get to chat. Don't be clingy, whiney or needy. Ask about her day & her adventures.

 

 

Plan a sweet surprise for when she gets home. After I got back from a trip early on in my relationship, my then BF now husband gave me a bag of Hershey's kisses for all the ones we missed while I was away

 

I'm missing her a lot, and she has emailed me the past few days, not today though, but she is posting pictures on Instagram, should i be worried? Also she has been in a few pictures on this guy's instagram (guessing he goes to her college, but never heard of him) Her and her friend, who have been in his pictures followed him. He only seems to have photos with the girls on he trip, should i be worried?

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They are photos not the "money shot" from a private detective following a cheating spouse.

 

 

Do not panic. Keep your eye on this other guy quietly. It may be something as simple as a friendship born of circumstances -- he's on the trip. It may be more but right now you have no proof either way.

 

 

Trust her but maintain vigilance.

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I think you're totally overreacting here, and insecurity is certainly not attractive.

 

She's on a school trip for two weeks - this is nothing. If she cares about you and wants to be with you, then you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Has she ever given you a reason not to trust her? How long have you been together?

 

If a guy started crying in front of me because I was going away for a couple of weeks, I'd be very, very concerned and quite put off to be honest.

 

I think you need to just breathe and get a grip.

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Chill out.

 

You cant not be okay about this for the good of your relationship you just cant.

You literally have two options: be okay or if your not okay pretend you are okay, and keep pretending either until you actually are okay or until she comes back.

 

Tell her you miss her or whatever but you really need to chill out.

 

 

She's your girl at the end of the day, where ever she goes, whatever she does, who ever comes in and out of her life, all the while shes your girlfriend, shes your girl and she'll come back to you. Its not like she's died. Its not like shes going for years. Shes going on holiday. If you cant deal with that it wont last.

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They are photos not the "money shot" from a private detective following a cheating spouse.

 

 

Do not panic. Keep your eye on this other guy quietly. It may be something as simple as a friendship born of circumstances -- he's on the trip. It may be more but right now you have no proof either way.

 

 

Trust her but maintain vigilance.

 

Is there anyway to find out if anything is going on? I meant to be fair he's quite good looking, and she said nobody good looking is going, in his pictures he his 6 pack out and things so, hope nothing happens.

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I think you're totally overreacting here, and insecurity is certainly not attractive.

 

She's on a school trip for two weeks - this is nothing. If she cares about you and wants to be with you, then you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Has she ever given you a reason not to trust her? How long have you been together?

 

If a guy started crying in front of me because I was going away for a couple of weeks, I'd be very, very concerned and quite put off to be honest.

 

I think you need to just breathe and get a grip.

 

Well look at my other thread, could be a reason? Also i think its where i've been cheated on before that i always think the worst, what can i do to stop this, i do care about her honestly, its like i get worried that everything will be different whilst back. Also its like she was posting pics on instagram, but still hasn't replied to me, i feel jealous to be honest.

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Chill out.

 

You cant not be okay about this for the good of your relationship you just cant.

You literally have two options: be okay or if your not okay pretend you are okay, and keep pretending either until you actually are okay or until she comes back.

 

Tell her you miss her or whatever but you really need to chill out.

 

 

She's your girl at the end of the day, where ever she goes, whatever she does, who ever comes in and out of her life, all the while shes your girlfriend, shes your girl and she'll come back to you. Its not like she's died. Its not like shes going for years. Shes going on holiday. If you cant deal with that it wont last.

 

So you think that when she's back next weekend, it will all be fine and everything will before she went away? She emailed me earlier and we talked for a bit in those, she said she loved me lots so that's got to be good right? And she's still contacting me so it should all be fine.

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Her behavior upon her return will tell you everything you need to know if you listen rather than jump to conclusions.

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Also she replied to my email, and we emailed for a few emails, which is good, but its not the same as the texts, the emails are not detailed (i get that she's on the trip but i asked her about her day) is this because she's away on the trip and doesn't want to talk or is this due to any other reason? in the few emails sent today, she said she loves me and loves me lots. is this good?

 

I'll admit i get jealous really easily, so when i see the pictures on this guys instagram it doesn't really help, i do love her and i think the world of her, but i just hate myself for being like this. Any advice?

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My advice remains the same: Chill out. You are letting your own insecurities ruin things.

 

You are getting more communication than most. She's busy doing new fun stuff rather than being glued to her freaking phone. Try being active yourself rather than stewing.

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Lesson #1 in acting like a man: Stop crying in front of your girlfriend unless a family member dies, a friend dies or a pet dies.

 

Otherwise, go cry in the bathroom, at home, alone.

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Her behavior upon her return will tell you everything you need to know if you listen rather than jump to conclusions.

 

What will i be looking for in her behaviour when she is back? I get worried though, that she won't want to see me when's she's back or won't want to talk or stuff like that. Is this a possibility, or just my overthinking? She promised it will all be fine, so! And i want her to have an amazing time obviously, but just worried she will enjoy it too much, and not want to spend time with me.

 

Like for weeks she is with friends and experiencing new things and swimming in the pool and sea with them, basically being busy. But i'm sat at home and doing my football/soccer scholarship and really missing her. Do you think she is missing me or having fun? She is the only person i talk to to be honest.

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Lesson #1 in acting like a man: Stop crying in front of your girlfriend unless a family member dies, a friend dies or a pet dies.

 

Otherwise, go cry in the bathroom, at home, alone.

 

I never cry to be honest, like literally never so i was shocked when i did, she cried also so. She does mean so much to me man, and i care about her so much.

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autumnnight

1. Chill out

 

2. She's not cheating

 

3. You don't need to "look for" anything. Just be with her like you were before

 

4. Chill out

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Do you think she is missing me or having fun? She is the only person i talk to to be honest.

 

Therein lies your problem. Make new friends. Develop wider interests. You can't be dependent on her.

 

Of course she's having fun. She's on vacation. That doesn't mean she doesn't care about you.

 

But you can't smother her because then she will run away from you.

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1. Chill out

 

2. She's not cheating

 

3. You don't need to "look for" anything. Just be with her like you were before

 

4. Chill out

 

I am trying to chill out, and i want everything to be the same when she comes back next week to be honest, for some reason i can't help but think everything won't be and she might not want to be with me when she's back, any advice? Do you really believe she's not cheating? I don't think so either, she says she never would and i believe her! :) when i'm not with her i worry to much.

 

Also any advice on what to get her for her 18th birthday when she is back?

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Therein lies your problem. Make new friends. Develop wider interests. You can't be dependent on her.

 

Of course she's having fun. She's on vacation. That doesn't mean she doesn't care about you.

 

But you can't smother her because then she will run away from you.

 

I do care about her though. I hope she misses me a little bit,so she will want to be with me when she is back :) What would you class as smothering?

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I do care about her though. I hope she misses me a little bit,so she will want to be with me when she is back :) What would you class as smothering?

 

Everything you're doing is smothering.

 

Look at the responses you've gotten forest, pretty much everyone agrees that you're overreacting and being clingy and worrying yourself for no reason.

 

Look, I get you're scared and in some ways I was a little like you in the past, but all it did was drive me insane where I'm worrying myself into anxiety for no reason. You cannot control what your gf is doing, so why assume she is cheating and assume the worst? You're stressing yourself out and eventually, even though she will try to understand, she will get tired of you if you're constantly worrying, obsessing, thinking she is cheating, crying because she's going away and all of that...it's very emotionally draining.

 

Mature relationships which are healthy are built on trust and knowing that just because your SO goes out of town doesn't mean the relationship is over, it's like when babies don't understand that their mom will come back when she leaves so they get hysterical. You're not a baby, so you should really try to be more reasonable about this.

 

Also, as others said, relationships where one person has no life or other friends or hobbies but relies on their SO for everything tend to not work and be stressful for the other person eventually. You need to be interesting, have your own life, hobbies, friends, things to do while she's gone which will help you to not have nothing to do but obsess over what she is doing and drive you (and her)crazy.

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The plain truth of the matter is you don't trust her and because you dont' trust her, your imagination rules you and it has whipped you up into a froth of speculation. If you trusted her, none of these threads would be here and while you may miss her, it would not be leading you around by the nose. So the plain truth is: you don't trust her. From there is where you proceed and the question then becomes: if you can't trust her, why are you with her?

 

If she's going to cheat, she's going to cheat and she doesn't have to be 8 hours away to do it. Her texts with that guy should have told you that much. You obsessing about it will not stop anything from happening if that's what she wants to do.

 

Learn to control what you can control (yourself) and learn what/who you can't control (her and other guys). Life is too short for BS and this relationship has devolved into BS with you snooping her texts and her deleting messages from guys who are "friends who are dicques".

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So you think that when she's back next weekend, it will all be fine and everything will before she went away? She emailed me earlier and we talked for a bit in those, she said she loved me lots so that's got to be good right? And she's still contacting me so it should all be fine.

 

everything will be the same, she's gone on holiday, people go on holiday, it doesn't change your relationship. It won't be the same if you start acting like a major control freak with no independence!!

 

Honestly mate, you just need to chill. If anything this can be good for you guys, it can move you into a new stage of your relationship where you guys trust each other and are secure without needing to be joined at the hip!

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Everything you're doing is smothering.

 

Look at the responses you've gotten forest, pretty much everyone agrees that you're overreacting and being clingy and worrying yourself for no reason.

 

Look, I get you're scared and in some ways I was a little like you in the past, but all it did was drive me insane where I'm worrying myself into anxiety for no reason. You cannot control what your gf is doing, so why assume she is cheating and assume the worst? You're stressing yourself out and eventually, even though she will try to understand, she will get tired of you if you're constantly worrying, obsessing, thinking she is cheating, crying because she's going away and all of that...it's very emotionally draining.

 

Mature relationships which are healthy are built on trust and knowing that just because your SO goes out of town doesn't mean the relationship is over, it's like when babies don't understand that their mom will come back when she leaves so they get hysterical. You're not a baby, so you should really try to be more reasonable about this.

 

Also, as others said, relationships where one person has no life or other friends or hobbies but relies on their SO for everything tend to not work and be stressful for the other person eventually. You need to be interesting, have your own life, hobbies, friends, things to do while she's gone which will help you to not have nothing to do but obsess over what she is doing and drive you (and her)crazy.

 

Thank you for this, it means a lot, i normally do not worry about her to be honest, whilst she is here (other than my other thread) i do care about her a lot honestly, i love! Usually i'm playing football/soccer but sadly i've een injured for a while now so this annoys me. As i'm usually training every day for it, i see my friends from football everyday but it's not the same haha. My friend said he will look after me and take my mind off of this, which is he kinda doing which is good. My grandfather has been ill in hospital recently, which hurts like hell, and i just feel lonely right now, from literally anything and she makes everything better. Is it good to miss her? and would hse miss me?

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everything will be the same, she's gone on holiday, people go on holiday, it doesn't change your relationship. It won't be the same if you start acting like a major control freak with no independence!!

 

Honestly mate, you just need to chill. If anything this can be good for you guys, it can move you into a new stage of your relationship where you guys trust each other and are secure without needing to be joined at the hip!

 

So she will be seeing me after she's back like she promised yeah? :) I don't control her, i let her do what she likes, obviously i miss her, but i want her to enjoy the 2 weeks there in Borneo. Do you believe being apart is good for a relationship?

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So she will be seeing me after she's back like she promised yeah? :)

More than likely.

But at the end of the day she will or she won't mate, you cant make someone want to be with you - you don't want someone to be with you who isn't into you anyway so just let the chips fall where they may and then you'll know how she feels, right? You cant try to overcompensate for the other party in the relationship.

 

I don't control her, i let her do what she likes, obviously i miss her, but i want her to enjoy the 2 weeks there in Borneo.

You might not be conroling her per say, but if I was seeing a girl and she cried cause I went on holiday, text me all day long, kept thinking we might break up - well i'd deem her clingy, controlling and break up we would!

 

Do you believe being apart is good for a relationship?

Not necessarily but I also don't count two weeks as 'being apart'. Its simply not that long.

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