New at this

[ilovemybf]

This is my first long term relationship but my boyfriend has only had long term relationships. He is definitely the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. The problem is I don't understand things the way he does, obviously because he's had previous experiences so he react to situations accordingly. I need help to know how to react to certain situations better. We talk about everything very openly which I think is the best way to go but my problem is for instance he told me that he enjoys masturbating every now and then but our sex life is very healthy so I don't have a problem with that at all I think it's good to do it every now and then but then we stopped having sex for more than two or three weeks nothing would happen even if I tried he would just say he is tired or stressed and turn around and fall asleep so I figured because I know he masturbates, I don't think he does it all the time but I do think within that time frame it happend a few times, I felt I didn't turn him on anymore or maybe he doesn't want me anymore. I think of all these situations and then concludes to one of them. Actually he was just stressed and tired. I just got all paranoid about it. These kind of situations has happened a few times with different things and I don't know how to help it. Because it's so silly if you just take a step back but at that stage I just can't see any reason. Any advise?

[d0nnivain]

Try believing him when he tells you there is nothing wrong but he's stress & tired. Try changing when you have sex. If he's tired at night, maybe mornings are better. Instead of after Letterman, turn in earlier.

[preraph]

It's normal for guys to masturbate even when they have a partner. But find out if he's doing it to porn and he's doing it a lot, because there is this thing where guys get into a routine doing it just a certain way watching porn and then become dysfunctional in real life trying to have sex. It's a type of porn addiction and it's actually fairly common. I knew a guy it happened to way before doctors started talking about it. It can ruin their sex life, but the cure is simple: No more porn and then wait until you're back and out of that rut.

[Rainbow00]

This is my first long term relationship but my boyfriend has only had long term relationships. He is definitely the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. The problem is I don't understand things the way he does, obviously because he's had previous experiences so he react to situations accordingly. I need help to know how to react to certain situations better. We talk about everything very openly which I think is the best way to go but my problem is for instance he told me that he enjoys masturbating every now and then but our sex life is very healthy so I don't have a problem with that at all I think it's good to do it every now and then but then we stopped having sex for more than two or three weeks nothing would happen even if I tried he would just say he is tired or stressed and turn around and fall asleep so I figured because I know he masturbates, I don't think he does it all the time but I do think within that time frame it happend a few times, I felt I didn't turn him on anymore or maybe he doesn't want me anymore. I think of all these situations and then concludes to one of them. Actually he was just stressed and tired. I just got all paranoid about it. These kind of situations has happened a few times with different things and I don't know how to help it. Because it's so silly if you just take a step back but at that stage I just can't see any reason. Any advise?

 

Try believing him when he tells you there is nothing wrong but he's stress & tired. Try changing when you have sex. If he's tired at night, maybe mornings are better. Instead of after Letterman, turn in earlier.

 

I would try this approach first. Often I overthibk things and make problems where they aren't any. Try to take what it said at face value and go from there. Challenge yourself to do this and stick to this for two weeks and see how the outcome is. You may be adding stress to a situation that doesn't warrant any - try to go with the flow, and see if any improvement happens!