In what ways do you show your partner respect?

[Nikki Sahagin]

Just curious to know how different couples show respect to one another in their rel.

 

Here are some of mine & my partners, although arguably not all of them are about respect but I think they come under the umbrella:

 

* If we are going to be late home or longer out than we said we would, we text or call to let the other know. My partner didn't tell me one night and came back VERY much later than usual (no credit on phone) and I was a mess of panic fearing that he was in hospital so now we always check in with one another to let each other know that we are safe.

 

* My bf remembers things that I want to do/see/places I want to eat and takes me their randomly.

 

* We don't have a no-porn policy but we do have a respectful policy. My bf said he doesn't mind if I watch porn as long as I come to him at the end of the day to get my sexual needs met and as long as I'm subtle about it i.e. not leaving porn up on the pc etc. I agree. I hate sloppy porn watchers. A little discretion is meaningful (obvious depends on couples stance on porn).

 

* My bf doesn't like the idea of nudist beaches (I used to go) so out of respect I don't go to them (it doesn't really matter much to me). Likewise I don't like strip clubs and my bf doesn't go to those. He's friends aren't really by and large strip club goers so that works well for me and he's the ONLY man I've been with (actually second but he was foreign) who was cool without strip clubs. Let me tell ya, he won a million points that night!

 

* Whoevers up first makes the other breakfast.

 

* If I lose something, my bf always stops to look for it with me.

 

* I don't ever turn my partner down for sex. Some might say this isn't a respect issue. For me it is. I have a huge sex drive myself so if my partner is horny and I might be tired, I never turn him down because his sexual needs are important to me and also...he always gets me in the mood! Likewise if I'm horny, I just tell him and he always turns up on time

 

* We also have a gesture if we are both out at a social event and one of us wants to leave but we can't say it outright. That way, we can subtly talk about it to either compromise on a time to go home or make the evening better or leave at different times.

 

* My bf does the laundry v often. Always does my underwear, socks, everything. After he washes it, I dry and fold.

 

* He always gives me some of his food. Very big sharer!

 

* He apologises if he ever says the b word in a joke or description

 

* He often helps me put my clothes back on after sex (NEVER had that before)

 

These are just some of the things I could think of.

[todreaminblue]

When I am in a relationship I am respectful of and to my partner....by thinking of him often...when around other men i wouldnt do anything i would not do in front of him

 

when makign a decision...ill think of him, and make my decisions based on how i feel and how he would feel too....

 

i respect a guy by making him realize how important he is and how much i care.....

 

i respect my partner by supporting him in hsi dreams and activities...make him feel ten foot tall and bullet proof....

 

i show respect by getting to know all his likes all his dislikes.......by integrating him into my life even when he isnt there.....

 

i make sacrifices even if i dont agree or would like to do something i wouldnt make a major decision without his input.....

 

i show respect in defense......if i have a problem ....with him it is him who knows it not everyone else.....and i do not allow others to put him down......not with me present.....they take it back or i walk.......

 

 

so basically i feel the way i respect a partner is to think of them often....that includes sex...even if i dont feel up to sex...i dont turn a partner away or say no...it is one sacrifice i am willing to make.....i have a high sex drive anyway and if i dotn feel like it ...i will two minutes in....

 

if i were to disrespect my partner in any way or he were to feel disrespected...he would only have to tell me for me to stop from whatever it was i was doing or saying that made him feel that way.....deb

Edited March 24, 2015 by todreaminblue

[Nikki Sahagin]

Deb that's a fantastic answer to the question. I love that you would not do anything around others that you would not do in front of your partner. IMO that's a very healthy mindset to take into a relationship. I do that too actually. I think, if I wouldn't do this if my partner was here, then I shouldn't. This helps build trust.

[todreaminblue]

Deb that's a fantastic answer to the question. I love that you would not do anything around others that you would not do in front of your partner. IMO that's a very healthy mindset to take into a relationship. I do that too actually. I think, if I wouldn't do this if my partner was here, then I shouldn't. This helps build trust.

 

 

the reason why i answered were some of the lovely things you wrote about what you and your partner do ......i am single at this time and your post reminded me of a few things i adore about being in a close and loving relationship

 

the secret gestures...the knowing someone and their ways....lol...the finding things together.......the thoughtful texts when late .....those types of things...beautiful....thanks for posting..your post was sweet....deb

[Nikki Sahagin]

Thanks deb!

 

I was curious to know what other people do as I think a lack of respect in relationships is so damaging. When you give and show respect, many things fall into place. Disrespect erodes love, trust, safety, sex.

 

The next time you get in a relationship, you'll have a very lucky man.

 

Another thing I remember my partner does...well, he has a saying:

 

"Don't make your girl jealous of other women. Make other women jealous of your girl."

 

Obviously, in rels you find other people attractive but my bf never says to me, 'god she's hot' or anything like that and neither do I, in real life or when watching a movie. Obviously this doesn't bother some couples but for me, I don't want to know if my bf finds other women attractive. Of course he can and will, as long as he doesn't rub that in my face and vice versa. I've known other couples constantly go on about other hot people and I can't help but think it's a bit demeaning to the one that you're with. After all...we all want to be the apple of our partners eyes

 

So yes, I never talk about hot dudes to him and he never about hot girls. I'll say someone is pretty or handsome, but don't feel the need to push it!

[Shepp]

Hmm respect..

 

- she comes to almost every football/sports match I play (even though football isn't her sport of choice) AND she gets the fact that I'm going to be upbeat if we win and somewhat weighed down if we lose.

 

- she cancels sky recording a show she could watch online if it clashes with some sport I'm recording.

 

- I check with her before accepting invitations, I would always say yes but sometimes she doesn't feel like it!

 

- I eat her cooking!! Even if it's simultaneously burnt and raw, I cle my plate

 

- she'll leave me the chocolates she knows I'll like best after studying the little card you get in a box of chocolates

Edited March 24, 2015 by Shepp

[todreaminblue]

Thanks deb!

 

I was curious to know what other people do as I think a lack of respect in relationships is so damaging. When you give and show respect, many things fall into place. Disrespect erodes love, trust, safety, sex.

 

The next time you get in a relationship, you'll have a very lucky man.

 

Another thing I remember my partner does...well, he has a saying:

 

"Don't make your girl jealous of other women. Make other women jealous of your girl."

 

Obviously, in rels you find other people attractive but my bf never says to me, 'god she's hot' or anything like that and neither do I, in real life or when watching a movie. Obviously this doesn't bother some couples but for me, I don't want to know if my bf finds other women attractive. Of course he can and will, as long as he doesn't rub that in my face and vice versa. I've known other couples constantly go on about other hot people and I can't help but think it's a bit demeaning to the one that you're with. After all...we all want to be the apple of our partners eyes

 

So yes, I never talk about hot dudes to him and he never about hot girls. I'll say someone is pretty or handsome, but don't feel the need to push it!

 

 

true nikki...had quite a fewe boyfriends point out other women to me...after i spent so much time trying to look pretty for them..which is another thing ill do..i make a real effort.........obviously the guys i went out with werent right for me...ill never be serious about a guy who checks out other women in front of me or says crap she is smoking.....why cant you wear that or try that make up...i hate packed on make up...i wear minimal........it is damaging when guys do that...it erodes the fabric of the heart....smilin...your posts do so make me smile.....:0)...see....smilin atcha....lol..your guy is a lucky guy...and so are you....

 

i hope you really do get more replies in this thread...its a beautiful thread.....good luck.......deb

[xxoo]

I respect his parenting by backing him up.

 

I respect his career and hobbies by protecting that time for him.

 

I show him respect generally by speaking respectfully. I don't disparage him or marriage to family and friends.

 

I respect his opinions, even if I don't agree with him, by trying to see his perspective and explaining mine as my perspective (not right/wrong).

 

He does the same--except for the last one That's just not his style. He shows respect for my opinions in other ways.

[Nikki Sahagin]

I fully agree deb. I make a lot of effort when me and my bf go out. I always wear makeup, dress up, do my hair. So even if you spot another hot girl, no need to tell me. Just make me feel appreciated and beautiful for my efforts

[xxoo]

- she'll leave me the chocolates she knows I'll like best after studying the little card you get in a box of chocolates

 

That's sweet.

 

My H has been leaving me the last bite of every good thing for many years now

[Nikki Sahagin]

I respect his parenting by backing him up.

 

I respect his career and hobbies by protecting that time for him.

 

I show him respect generally by speaking respectfully. I don't disparage him or marriage to family and friends.

 

I respect his opinions, even if I don't agree with him, by trying to see his perspective and explaining mine as my perspective (not right/wrong).

 

He does the same--except for the last one That's just not his style. He shows respect for my opinions in other ways.

 

Backing up parenting is INCREDIBLY important. It's so confusing to kids when mum and dad aren't on the same page. I agree with your second point too; talking down about your rel to others when you fight can be tempting but it damages a little of the faith in the rel. UNLESS your partner is violent or incredibly nasty in another way, there's no need to air that dirty laundry.

[Nikki Sahagin]

Hmm respect..

 

- she comes to almost every football/sports match I play (even though football isn't her sport of choice) AND she gets the fact that I'm going to be upbeat if we win and somewhat weighed down if we lose.

 

- she cancels sky recording a show she could watch online if it clashes with some sport I'm recording.

 

- I check with her before accepting invitations, I would always say yes but sometimes she doesn't feel like it!

 

- I eat her cooking!! Even if it's simultaneously burnt and raw, I cle my plate

 

- she'll leave me the chocolates she knows I'll like best after studying the little card you get in a box of chocolates

 

That's so cute Shep! Especially about her coming to your football games and you checking before accepting invitations. It's awkward (SOOOOOOOOOO awkward) if one partner accepts an invitation that the other doesn't want to go to!

[blackcat777]

I won't remove any of my clothing until he's finished with his studies.

[Satu]

Being always willing to listen and reflect on what has been said is where it all begins for me.

[Gloria25]

AWell, it's been a while since I've been in a RL, so I'm gonna pull from some guys in my past and my beliefs...

 

-I don't talk to my gfs about him much. No Sex and the City candid convos about his penis, smell, sex, his issues, etc. He is a private person and his privacy and our RL privacy should be respected.

 

-I don't snoop. While I Facebook stalk, I feel they put what they want made public. But I'm not digging into his celphone, demanding passwords, etc.

 

-As much as I believe I know it all, I will not embarrass and/or humiliate him. For example, one time my FWB and I were on a road trip and I was reading from the map and comparing GPS. He was fing it up big time. I did not argue, I did not yell, I did not impose. I simply said like, "ok, lets go the way you said" and when it didn't work, I simply said "ok, how 'bout we try this way?". And, when we got there cuz "I" was right, I wasn't like "seeeeeee, I was right". I was like "cool" we arrived, wasn't that GPS crazy?"

 

-I give him my body. I take care of my appearance. When we go out, I want other people to see me and have him proud to take me out of my cage..lol. You see some people (men and women) just let themselves go and you wonder if they even care about how they are presenting themselves to their SO.

 

-I show appreciation. The way I sex, cook, and bring him a drink, coffee, etc - while some people think it's submissive, I think it shows respect. Years ago, when I saw that Asian woman bring her military husband a tea/coffee instead of just serving herself...I loved that. I like "serving" my man. Shows him that I appreciate and respect him.

 

If I think of more, I will post....

[haribogumsnickers]

I leave the seat down. And leave a little slack of tp hanging from the roll.

 

No wonder im still single. Smbutt.

[toolforgrowth]

This is an awesome thread.

 

The thing I prioritize the most is listening to her when she's upset. We've only had a couple very minor disagreements. Each time I knew she was upset, but I didn't press. I'll do my best to reassure her and if she's still upset, I leave her alone; she'll come to me when she's ready. Sure enough, a little while later, I'll get that text where she finally opens up about how she's feeling. I'll hear her out, do my best to address her concerns, and follow it up with positive action. She always walks away smiling and reassured.

 

I work hard to sex her up. Her prior relationships have always been sexually lacking, and she's never had a very good body image. I give foreplay a good amount of time and really try hard to show how much I enjoy making love together. She flat out said that we have the best sex life she's ever had, and I do my best to keep that alive. She's also much more comfortable with herself now, which is a big turn on.

 

She leads a very busy life, but when we can get time together, I love taking her out and spending money on her. She's never asked for it and doesn't expect it, but it's fun to treat my lady to a good time.

 

And when we're snuggling in bed together, sometimes I turn off Netflix and say, "Let's chat for a while." We'll joke, laugh, tell each other about our day, and just enjoy being snuggled up. Far too many couples hide behind a screen, even when they're physically together. I want to keep that communication alive and well.

[Nikki Sahagin]

This is an awesome thread.

 

The thing I prioritize the most is listening to her when she's upset. We've only had a couple very minor disagreements. Each time I knew she was upset, but I didn't press. I'll do my best to reassure her and if she's still upset, I leave her alone; she'll come to me when she's ready. Sure enough, a little while later, I'll get that text where she finally opens up about how she's feeling. I'll hear her out, do my best to address her concerns, and follow it up with positive action. She always walks away smiling and reassured.

 

I work hard to sex her up. Her prior relationships have always been sexually lacking, and she's never had a very good body image. I give foreplay a good amount of time and really try hard to show how much I enjoy making love together. She flat out said that we have the best sex life she's ever had, and I do my best to keep that alive. She's also much more comfortable with herself now, which is a big turn on.

 

She leads a very busy life, but when we can get time together, I love taking her out and spending money on her. She's never asked for it and doesn't expect it, but it's fun to treat my lady to a good time.

 

And when we're snuggling in bed together, sometimes I turn off Netflix and say, "Let's chat for a while." We'll joke, laugh, tell each other about our day, and just enjoy being snuggled up. Far too many couples hide behind a screen, even when they're physically together. I want to keep that communication alive and well.

 

You sound like a great bf!

[toolforgrowth]

You sound like a great bf!

 

Well thank you! I'm not trying to fish for compliments or anything...I just think that relationship forums in general focus on the negative a lot more than the positive. Seeing a thread like this was really refreshing.

 

I really want this one to work out. And I learned the hard way that relationships take work...I can't be slackin. Lol