Eighty_nine Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 (edited) Has anyone ever had basically arbitrary standards stand in the way of your own happiness? My boyfriend now is very handsome, but a little overweight. I've rejected guys before for this reason and feel dumb for it now- I'm more in love with him than more "in shape" guys I've dated and the sex is ammmmmmazing. His body type is irrelevant in that sense... Maybe actually makes it better, since there's something sexy about a guy taller/bigger and more "in control". It's not like a required a six pack before, or anything like that. I just wish I'd been a little more open minded previously. I'm wondering if others can relate. Edited March 6, 2015 by lissvarna Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Absolutely....when I was younger I had quite a few. The way a guy dressed, his taste in music, his haircut.....just to name a few. Completely arbitrary things that had nothing to do with how a man would treat me. I feel ya girl. As I've gotten older, I've learned. I've acutally thought about how things might have been different with those guys I "judged" because in retrospect, they were legitimately GREAT. You know how it goes though, I wouldn't be where I am today, and I'm very happy with my man now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dybbuk Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Same, I had a lot of things I used to deem really 'important' but had nothing to do with whether or not a man would be loyal, kind, respectful as a good partner should be. So those things that were dealbreakers, I'm now very flexible if a man possess a lot of positive inner qualities. Some past dealbreakers were... -At least a Bachelor's degree since I also had mine and was working toward my Master's. -Good living wages. -This is going to sound horrible, but someone of similar cultural background. I'm Hispanic and my family is super old fashioned and I always thought it would just be easier if I was with someone who could relate. -No kids. No divorcees. Funny enough my BF came late enough in the game after I dated so many guys with those 'qualifications' listed above and still didn't work out. So when my current BF sent me an email on OKC, I checked out his profile and saw he pretty much broke every single one minus the kids/divorce (although he has an ex-fiance)... I kinda said "to hell with my standards" let's just see what kind of guy he is. 6 months later... in love with my BF who works hard, supports himself without a college degree. He's intellectually stimulating all the same. I make a bit more money than him, but he still budgets his money to treat me and take me out. He's a white guy and is learning the ways of my crazy Mexican family and overall I'm just happy I found him. He broadened my horizons! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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