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What traits make a man appealing to women? How can I develop them?


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I'm pretty curious about this. I wanted to get a cross-section of opinions on what traits make a man appealing to women. I know that my target audience is slightly younger than the average age of women on here but hopefully it will give me some insight.

 

What traits have made you become instantly attracted to a guy? What traits have made you want to rip his clothes off right there?

 

I'm not talking about physical looks, even though it may play some part.

 

I'm curious.

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Let's see: tall, really handsome, have a great job, great personality, gets along with family, good social circle, loves animals. All those are qualities women love.

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autumnnight

I have never wanted to instantly rip someone's clothes off because for me that takes time.

 

I like engagement. Talking with me. Listening tes, but talking. An upbeat, easygoing nature. Humor - humor is big for me. Manners but not stiff. Light flirting but not overtly sexual. A sense of purpose. Varied interests. Paying attention. Like let's say I joke about my Lipton green tea addiction. If, say, the next time we met we went on a hike, and he happened to bring a cold green tea and hand it to me with a little wink.....melt

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todreaminblue

compassion towards others...kindness.....inner strength or calmness, reasoning capabilities, intelligence, sense of humor, resilience,commitment orientated so reliable, communication skills, mediation skills, understanding and accepting nature, loyalty, steadfastness, logical dreamer, firm faith in a higher power so humble...... optimistic outlook on life, trustworthy, faithful...a fighter to the end .so endurance..spiritual and mental endurance........deb

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ThaWholigan

I wish I could elaborate now but this'll be my last post for the night so I'll just say this:

 

Different women want different things. Figure out the kind of women you like or gravitate towards, and then see if you offer what they desire.

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For what it's worth. I'm a 27 year old female...

 

Men that I was attracted to (including my current BF) exhibited the following traits:

-Confidence. I totally understand guys getting nervous during the first date, but I noticed the men I took the most interest in were very at ease during dates, and that in turn put me at ease.

 

-Sense of humor. Make me laugh and I'm hooked. Most women will tell you this. The key is to not FORCE humor. Everyone has their own idea of what's funny... you just gotta find someone who gets your idea of funny.

 

-Protective. I don't know if this comes naturally to men or not, but I get they don't want to come off too strongly... but I have to say it was one of those things that made a man stand out to me. My current BF was the first one to ever ask me to text him that I made him home ok after a 1st date, because he knew I wasn't familiar with the area. I immediately thought 'Wow that was thoughtful of him'. Then on our 3rd date, we took a tour downtown and the crowd was pushing us closer to the curb and he gently grabbed my hand and switched places with me so I wouldn't be close to the street. It was really one of the most sweetest gestures I received.

 

-Kindness. Particularly with other people. I'd watch how my dates interacted with our waitress, or the people around us in line. I think it says a lot about a person. When a man can be kind to the stranger in line, the difficult person at the store, or the frazzled food service employee... you know they have genuine kindness in their hearts and have a sense of empathy.

 

... and because you asked what makes me want to rip someone's clothes off. Should men exhibit the traits above and have these perk qualities you can assume that I'm yours and I may attempt to rip off your clothes with my teeth. :p

 

+Large hands. Weird thing I know, but when a guy caresses your face or holds your hand and you feel so tiny in comparison it's kind of amazing and makes me melt.

 

+A man who looks good with facial hair. Don't get me wrong, there are some men that rock the clean cut look, but a man who can rock a mustache or goatee and don't look unkempt with it win sexy points with me.

 

+Sharp dresser. Not wanting a man to be in a suit 24/7, but a rocking a nice shirt from time to time is always a turn on.

 

+Good kisser. Subjective from person to person as to what qualifies as a good kiss. However men who just know how to pull you in close, have their hands in all the right places and switch up the tempo keeping you on your toes are winners. I think this goes hand in hand with the confidence thing.

 

Good luck!

Edited by Dybbuk
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compulsivedancer

For clothes-ripping action:

 

*Tall or at least bigger than me.

*Confidence, although I've liked awkward guys as long as they were confident in the bedroom. Totally okay with me.

*Sexy talk. The ability to get me worked up with words. There's a fine line between hot and corny, but when he nails it...oh baby. I love to text dirty things to guys, and the right response just fills me with lust.

*Telling me how hot or sexy he finds me. Yeah, I'm shallow, but stroking my ego a bit gets me going. Calling me beautiful makes me melt, but using a word that implies sexual attraction is key for this thread.

 

(There are additional things I look for to keep me interested outside the bedroom, but these are the things that will get me into the bedroom).

Edited by compulsivedancer
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Every woman is different but these are the qualities that would interest me:

 

- There has to be a hint of physical attraction at least, but that can grow

- If he's calm, polite and respectful but without being obsequious

- Integrity, honesty

- A sense of humour that isn't cruel or sarcastic

- Pride in what he does

- A sense that he's an adult male - so no tantrums

- Confidence but not arrogance

- Holds his own with other men, but is sweet towards women

- Intelligence (must have)

- A sense that he copes with the world and isn't too phased by difficulties

- Smells nice, clean, tidy, looks after himself

- Willing to take the odd risk and ask a woman out, taking rejection with good humour

- Has his own opinions and knowledge but doesn't force them on others

- Is respected by other guys as much as women

- Is seen as a strong, reliable figure socially

- Financially sound or at least willing to work

- Nice to women but only flirts subtly with the one woman he's interested in

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autumnnight

OP, today someone thanked me for doing something for them. It may be a small thing, but most people find appreciation appealing.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Keeping the thread on topic
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compulsivedancer

I forgot to mention great eye contact. Any guy can make you feel like the only woman in the room if he focuses his whole attention on you when he speaks to you. It can take a regular guy and make you hot, or an attractive guy and make you drool.

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autumnnight
To be fair though, if a guy wants an attractive woman he needs to have a quite a bit going for him. The vast majority of good looking women with a lot of options aren't going to choose the average guy with the average job over a good looking guy with a good job.

 

He referenced ONE list as if every woman on here wrote it. How is that fair?

 

I'm sorry, I've justvhad enough of men with Napolean complexes thinking they can read women's minds. THAT is not appealing.

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I don't want to derail the thread any further from OP's original discussion but...

 

Personally I think that anyone who is blessed with grade A genetic material that renders you 'gorgeous' to the general population will probably seek out someone with similar attributes. Regardless if they are male or female. A hot guy isn't going to get with 'most women' out there. A good looking successful man who has tons of options himself will probably be particular himself and seek out a woman who is pretty exceptional in looks/qualities.

 

All the average folk who clean up nice and look handsome/pretty when they make an effort just have to accept that those super model types are nice to look at but they are aware of the vast amount of options they have and will narrow their focus to all those 'hot types' too. Rare exceptions exist, but it's not healthy to strive for an exception.

 

OP, if you want to be appealing to most "average" women concentrate on your 'inner' qualities. A lot of the thread has suggested that most women are concerned with who you are as a person, not your outer shell.

 

If you want to be appealing to that top % of "hot" women then you will need to be in that peak demographic of 'gorgeous successful men' because that's your competition. Exceptions exist, but they are rare and should not be something to strive for in life. Hollywood and TV make it seem like every Mr. Average Joe can land the hottie bombshell by just being sweet, but that's rarely the case in real life. It's just like I'm aware that a chubby gal like myself isn't going to land the gorgeous guy with a killer 6 pack; like Nikki Blonsky landed Zac Efron in Hairspray. :p

 

Doesn't make me sad though! I like myself and focused on being a successful, funny and generous human being... and what do you know I met a wonderfully kind, loyal, confident man who I find very sexy. We may not be super models but we're happy and in love! I'd choose my string bean boyfriend, with his flabby "I eat too much Little Debbie cakes for breakfast" belly, and pasty mushroom farmer complexion over Zac Efron any day anyway. :p

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PinkInTheLimo
I have never wanted to instantly rip someone's clothes off because for me that takes time.

 

I like engagement. Talking with me. Listening tes, but talking. An upbeat, easygoing nature. Humor - humor is big for me. Manners but not stiff. Light flirting but not overtly sexual. A sense of purpose. Varied interests. Paying attention. Like let's say I joke about my Lipton green tea addiction. If, say, the next time we met we went on a hike, and he happened to bring a cold green tea and hand it to me with a little wink.....melt

 

Wow, I will print this out. It expresses really well how I feel about it.

 

A subtle, delicate and attentive guy totally does it for me. Unfortunately there are not too many guys like that around.

 

With the "me Tarzan, you Jane" approach a guy won't get very far with me.

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autumnnight

I think when someone reads a wall of characteristics it can be overwhelming. Each woman here is throwing out things THEY like, and most of us are just doing it kind of stream of consciousness. This does not mean that every woman expects every man to meet all of the "requirements" mentioned here. In fact, the OP asked what things make a man appealing. There may be 20 things I find appealing, That does NOT mean I expect a man to have all 20. It's just ideas.

 

I find 10 items at my favorite restaurant delicious. That doesn't mean I order all ten when I go there :)

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chicks like guys that smell good so wear good quality cologne, but don't overdo it...

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autumnnight
chicks like guys that smell good so wear good quality cologne, but don't overdo it...

 

Good advice!

 

Although I admit a guy who smells like shampoo and himself is my favorite. Though I do like Obsession for men - hey, I'm an 80's girl :)

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regine_phalange

It's all about how I feel in his presence. I've come to the conclusion that my gut knows what I want better than I do. If I feel peace and trust with him just being around (I have a hard time trusting) and a unique feeling when he looks at me, (I don't feel much when most people look at me), then I know this man could be an enhancement in my life. I don't need someone who talks much, I need someone who says things as they are when he opens his mouth. I need chemistry and a natural sympathy between us.

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It's all about how I feel in his presence. I've come to the conclusion that my gut knows what I want better than I do. If I feel peace and trust with him just being around (I have a hard time trusting) and a unique feeling when he looks at me, (I don't feel much when most people look at me), then I know this man could be an enhancement in my life. I don't need someone who talks much, I need someone who says things as they are when he opens his mouth. I need chemistry and a natural sympathy between us.

yep women love the feelings

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autumnnight
yep women love the feelings

 

Yep that is part of what makes us women. A man who wants a woman without feelings who is allegedly completely logical......actually wants a man. ;)

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compulsivedancer
It all boils down to sexy eyebrows for me..

 

 

I lurve sexy eyebrows! :love:

 

I'm a fan of eyelashes.

 

Great hair can be awesome too.

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