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Informal Survey: How many of you LS women are turned on by whining?


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autumnnight

Let's have it ladies. Raise your hands, but not everybody at once. How many of YOU lucky ladies dreamed in your Cinderella storied childhoods of dating a whiny man who blames your gender for every difficulty and generally has no respect for you!

 

Don't every answer at once!

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autumnnight

I am currently writing a best selling piece of erotic literature called 50 shades of misogyny.

 

I hope they make it into a movie with Adam Sandler as the star.

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Why are women so offended when men simply acknowledge some general truths?

 

Just look at the statistics. More women leave men than vice-versa.

 

But then they try and turn it around and say "oh that's because women are stronger and more brave to leave a failed relationship".

 

L O f'in L.

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autumnnight
Why are women so offended when men simply acknowledge some general truths?

 

 

Just look at the statistics. More women leave men than vice-versa.

 

 

But then they try and turn it around and say "oh that's because women are stronger and more brave to leave a failed relationship".

 

 

L O f'in L.

 

...swoons onto fainting couch....

 

I am not offended by truth. I am offended by biased hateful generalizations. I am offended by men who feel a woman owes him a date or a roll in the hay. I am offended that a man who has had some bad relationships projects that onto every woman he meets.

 

And for the record, when a woman starts spouting man-hating, fish and bicycle, crap I am offended by that too. In fact, I find those women more annoying, obnoxious, and nauseating than any man.

 

As far as more women leaving....funny how no one who spouts that stat every delves into WHY these women might be leaving.

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As far as more women leaving....funny how no one who spouts that stat every delves into WHY these women might be leaving.

 

Because they get bored more easily, and also have more options than men, so it's easier to pack up and leave at any given time.

 

Sorry, but women do have it easier. Not saying I hate women or prejudge them, but men absolutely should acknowledge these basic truths.

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CrystalCastles
Let's have it ladies. Raise your hands, but not everybody at once. How many of YOU lucky ladies dreamed in your Cinderella storied childhoods of dating a whiny man who blames your gender for every difficulty and generally has no respect for you!

 

Don't every answer at once!

 

Yeah, it seems that Loveshack is a good outlet for those "men". Such "men" remind me of locusts, descending on crops like the plague. In the same way misogynistic, whiny and entitled "men" descend on Loveshack like the plague.

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ThaWholigan

Well, let me just pull up my seat - my popcorn's already paid for.....

 

Let it be known that the only kinda "whining" I do is a slow whine in the club ;)

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autumnnight
Because they get bored more easily, and also have more options than men, so it's easier to pack up and leave at any given time.

 

Sorry, but women do have it easier. Not saying I hate women or prejudge them, but men absolutely should acknowledge these basic truths.

 

Hey now, you guys have plenty of your own threads. This is OUR estrogen thread!

 

If you don't stop crashing our party I'm going to start talking bout my period!

 

No, seriously, most of the women I have known who have ended long term relationships or marriages have agonized over it and turned themselves into pretzels trying to be good enough or make it work. I do have one friend who left her hubby because after her 4th child started school he wanted her to "oh the horror" get a job, and that would have interferred with her pedicures and her late blooming aspirations to become an actress. So I do know "those" women are out there. But they are not me, and I do not believe they are the majority.

 

Now stop whining on here before Selfish has to break out the BOB ;)

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First off, in some places it is cheaper the person who makes less to file. So they do so. Then you have the fact that guys are less likely to leave even when they have a mistress. Women in affairs are more likely to leave. There are exceptions to this but it does add to why women divorce more than me.

 

 

I can give you two real life cases. This woman I know divorced her husband because he was living with his ow... For a year and still would not file for divorce. The other case was a guy whose wife was out dating and being single... He didn't file for divorce, she eventually did. She told him the marriage was over but he wouldn't accept it. So she left. And he still wouldn't accept it.

 

So the variables bring those statistics closer together.

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Let's have it ladies. Raise your hands, but not everybody at once. How many of YOU lucky ladies dreamed in your Cinderella storied childhoods of dating a whiny man who blames your gender for every difficulty and generally has no respect for you!

 

Don't every answer at once!

 

Tantalizing as a moonlit night, of course, but I'm trying to quit.

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autumnnight
Well, let me just pull up my seat - my popcorn's already paid for.....

 

Let it be known that the only kinda "whining" I do is a slow whine in the club ;)

 

Now I am going to whine because that rap song "No wifin' in da club...gimme 20 dollah" is stuck in my head.

 

I had a beagle in high school and college. Her name was Snoopy (what?!? It can be a girl name!). She liked everyone except George. George hated dogs and assumed all dogs had fleas and were going to bite him.

 

Why do you think George was the only person Snoopy didn't wag her tail around, the only person she growled at?

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Dr. Laura wrote a book called "Woman Power"

 

From what I gather, her intent behind the book is that we women have so much power. As mothers we influence how a boy becomes a man. On his path to a becoming a man, his wife/woman takes over and what she does/say can make or break him.

 

But, we women aren't as simple as men. We are complicated. We are emotional.

 

So imagine giving power to a being that is emotional and complicated?

 

So, she wanted to reach out to women for us to take a look at what we do and how it influences others, cuz we have so much power.

 

The men that complain about women, have a point - to an extent. I'm not a fan of whining and my dad was a misogynist, so trust me, last thing I can stand is woman bashing/hating. But, I believe that as a woman, many of us women don't take responsibility for our roles in why things a certain way in dating, life, etc. And you know what? while I hate my dad for hating women...I think "something" went on with my grandma that turned him sour. She was a strong woman, but his father was a bum and wasn't around. I think she was trying to raise him the best way she knew how and he took it the wrong way.

 

I mean, I see it not just on LS, but on other MBs and in real life. If one person "dare" say anything negative about the female gender - out come the group to smash them. To me it is akin to mindless riots in the streets when people of a certain race get involved in some crap where yeah, the probably were done an injustice - but at the same time, they had a role in it.

Edited by Gloria25
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I originally pulled this thread based on the strong instinct that it was a shot at other LS members and, generally, my instincts are very good, and were. So, since such shots at other members are a violation of our guidelines, but discussion of the attractiveness of male behaviors is a valid topic, such discussion can continue as long as it's topical and doesn't reference LoveShack or its members. Feel free to talk about whiny men in your real lives and their attractiveness or unattractiveness.

 

Grabbing more popcorn for the purposes of emotional extortion, trolling, and of course ignoring moderation's directives will result in either moderation or suspension depending on how unattractive moderation finds your behavior to be. Choose wisely.

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insert_name

If you go by domestic violence statistics then men with a lack of respect for women seem to have no problem getting partners...

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One thing I can say, luckily, is that none of the men I know IRL come across as whiny.

 

They're all pretty level-headed, IMO. Then again, I'm naturally attracted to reasonable people, so I'm not surprised.

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I am not on this board to attract women and I am sure most men on here aren't. This is what I meant in the other thread about how women get a more sympathetic ear when they talk candidly about their experiences and if women were posting this stuff about men they would not get half as much scrutiny and backlash. Men have as much of a right to vent and speak candidly about our experiences. We don't just pull this stuff out of our butts.

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insert_name
Let's have it ladies. Raise your hands, but not everybody at once. How many of YOU lucky ladies dreamed in your Cinderella storied childhoods of dating a whiny man who blames your gender for every difficulty and generally has no respect for you!

 

Don't every answer at once!

 

Yes! How dare there be men on a relationship and dating forum complaining about their dating luck with women! The rascals should just suffer in silence and leave us to agree that men should pay for dates in peace!

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You know this is an anonymous forum where people can vent and talk about things that are on their mind but they are too embarrassed to say anything in person?

 

I do not plan to meet or date anybody from this forum and with all the crazy stuff I have read on infidelity lose OM/OW Friends with benefits, I do not want to meet or date anybody from here.

This forum is not my life it is just a something I read when I do not have anything else to do.

 

You call on us unattractive guys, how about all the other stuff that goes on here.

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I understand when one wants to constructively address an issue and another when someone wants to blame everyone else to never actually affect change.

 

So no, whining is not attractive. As my husband says, some people watch things happen, some people talk about things happening and some people make sh%t happen. :laugh: People who are making things happen do not fall into the whining category.

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autumnnight

In keeping with what is or is not attractive in a man, I know that I can really only speak for myself. Some of what I find attractive will be typical of most women. Some would not. Sometimes it is easier to make lists.

 

Here is what I find attractive in a man:

 

1. A man who will take responsibility for himself

2. A man who is willing to examine himself

3. A man who will always give proper attention to his side of the street

4. A man with a confident, positive attitude

5. A man who has respect for all humans in general (which includes women)

6. A man who assumes the best but prepares for the worst and not the other way around. In other words, he will assume the woman with whom he interacts has GOOD intentions unless or until she proves otherwise, and then he will respond in a way that illustrates class and self-respect

7. Consistency – the rules do not change depending on who it is, who he thinks he knows it is, or which pet agenda is on the table

 

Here are some things I find Unattractive in a man:

 

1. Hypocrisy. Enough said

2. A man who chooses to be a victim – it smacks of weakness.

3. A man who assumes the worst and expects the best without working for it

4. A man who blames others instead of examining himself

5. A man whose favorite word when presented with practical truth is “but”

6. A man who is demeaning and selfish

7. A man who expects something for nothing

8. A man who stalks online

9. A man who uses the internet or power and intimidation

10. A man who becomes obsessed with a stranger or agenda and won’t let go

11. A man who won’t get a job

12. A man who has no front teeth – unless it was some accident and he has a partial

13. A man who is bald but thinks the stringy ponytail down his back somehow counts as hair. If he is cleanly bald…hubba hubba. But no string ponytail :)

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autumnnight

Complain"

verb (used without object)

1.

to express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault:

 

Whine:

verb (used without object), whined, whining.

1.

to utter a low, usually nasal, complaining cry or sound, as from uneasiness, discontent, peevishness, etc.:

The puppies were whining from hunger.

2.

to snivel or complain in a peevish, self-pitying way:

He is always whining about his problems.

 

 

Hint: the first word is fine. The second word is annoying and unattractive

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insert_name
I am not on this board to attract women and I am sure most men on here aren't. This is what I meant in the other thread about how women get a more sympathetic ear when they talk candidly about their experiences and if women were posting this stuff about men they would not get half as much scrutiny and backlash. Men have as much of a right to vent and speak candidly about our experiences. We don't just pull this stuff out of our butts.

 

There is a regular circling of the wagons on this board that does seem to try and monopolise debate. Gloria alluded to it and total respect to her, as a woman, for recognising it.

 

Its hard not to agree. I find that women get quite positive advice, men with genuine (ie not cartoonish, OTT) dating/attraction gripes about women get quite negative advice and are always encouraged to work on some perceived fault that the poster thinks they have. Its like a magic bullet for dealing with men really. No need to be constructive, just tell him to loook at himself in the mirror and stop whining. Job done!

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autumnnight
There is a regular circling of the wagons on this board that does seem to try and monopolise debate. Gloria alluded to it and total respect to her, as a woman, for recognising it.

 

Its hard not to agree. I find that women get quite positive advice, men with genuine (ie not cartoonish, OTT) dating/attraction gripes about women get quite negative advice and are always encouraged to work on some perceived fault that the poster thinks they have. Its like a magic bullet for dealing with men really. No need to be constructive, just tell him to loook at himself in the mirror and stop whining. Job done!

 

I have a pattern. When I first encounter someone, I empathize. I know what it is to be seemingly the only person I know without someone, and it sucks.

 

Then I try to build up. Find strengths, make suggestions of low pressure strategies.

 

Then I try to help them investigate. What could be the problem? What could be a blind spot?

 

Then, if I have invested that kind of time and the only response is a bunch of "buts", a bunch of reason why it could never possibly work, and a list of things wrong with the other gender....At that point it is pretty clear to me that the person's attitude IS, in fact, part of the problem. It's not rocket science. And it is not helping a person like that to coddle them.

 

And yes, when the ONLY posts or words out of a person's mouth or fingers are sarcastic digs at an entire gender, then I skip the first few steps because I don't want to empathize with an ass.

 

Every time someone - man or woman - actually WANTS help and not just confirmation that an entire segment of the population is awful, I try to help.

 

The takeaway: if every single person in an entire gender is bristling at everything you say in any type of social setting, don't assume it is just wagons. Sometimes it is actually what you say and the way you say it and the way you treat THEM that makes them bristle.

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