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Why Don't Women Admit They Have It Easier?


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DukeNukem47

This is something that has confused me for a long time (both IRL and online). I always see women talking about how hard they have it in dating and life, when it's very clear that men actually have a harder time (especially in dating).

 

For example, there's a single 30 year old girl at my job that has recently decided to start dating. She's cute, but has a very difficult personality. She started dating again (online dating) about 2 weeks ago and pretty much has a boyfriend already.

 

Basically, she just jumped online, did nothing else, and is in a relationship pretty much.

 

I have a similar job and I'm also called cute by women. I get very little love online and I have to approach a significant amount of women IRL before anything develops.

 

I go online, have to craft a ton of messages (to no avail), then have to go out and approach a lot of women before I even get the opportunity to go on a date.

 

As I said, we are in the same league looks-wise, financially, and educationally.

 

So how could women possibly say that they have it as hard (or harder) than men do?

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Attitude is everything. Doesn't matter what sex you are, how much you earn or what you look like, if you have a good attitude you'll be projecting good vibes.

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DukeNukem47
Attitude is everything. Doesn't matter what sex you are, how much you earn or what you look like, if you have a good attitude you'll be projecting good vibes.

 

As I said, men have to do considerably more work than women for the same end result.

 

I don't see how attitude affects this.

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As I said, men have to do considerably more work than women for the same end result.

 

I don't see how attitude affects this.

 

You do realize how this thread is going to wind up lol. It's going to turn into another man vs. Woman war.

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PLease. Yeah, it's a piece of cake constantly wondering if the guy you're meeting is going to try to rape you, or stalk you and then rape you, or stalk you, rape you and then kill you. More likely he's a garden variety creep with an undisclosed wife or girlfriend that you stumble upon later. Keep in mind that the ones we actually meet are the selected few who didn't send dick pics or ask for a blow job in the opening volley of e-mails.

 

I don't know what planet you live on but dating sucks for everyone except the 20 year olds these days. I send out dozens of messages and only get dates out of every 30-50 contacts. And the dates are inevitably dissappointing.......50 extra pounds since the profile photo was taken, having to drive the guy home because he got wasted, he spends the ENTIRE date talking crap about everyone, etc, etc.

 

We may get more replies......but it's quality I'm looking for. And the quality just hasn't been there. And I don't view my standards as too lofty. Have a career, have a passion, be fit-ish, be funny, and be smart! That's all I require. Until my current bf I'd been without a decent date in three years.

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Getting hit on by men whose only interest in you is seeing if you will eff them is not a compliment.

 

 

Anymore than it would be if you were constantly being hit on by women who had no interest in you as a person but just wanted to string you along for as long as they could while you paid for all their dates.

 

 

If men were more selective and didn't just try to eff anything that walked... or stopped trying to be man-whores to impress their friends... maybe things would change. *shrug* I'm not holding my breath.

 

 

If it makes you feel better... I scoured all of the winks, likes, views, and favorites of men who were more than 5 years older than me and blocked them from searching or contacting me. That way, they don't get their hopes up... and they don't get to use my profile to look for other women 'like me' either. I'm hoping that whatever algorithm Match uses to lead these men my way will crash and burn if I block enough of them.

Edited by RedRobin
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Does it matter which sex has it easier ? Not a question, because I am sure in your little world it's a huge problem. Why, I dunno.

 

 

I'm not in competition with women to get dates with women.

 

 

For example, there's a single 30 year old girl at my job that has recently decided to start dating. She's cute, but has a very difficult personality. She started dating again (online dating) about 2 weeks ago and pretty much has a boyfriend already.

 

Basically, she just jumped online, did nothing else, and is in a relationship pretty much.

 

 

For example, who cares. What does that matter to you as a man. You are trying to date women. What does it matter if it's easy for her to hook up with you or more likely, other men. You're in competition with the other men. Not her.

 

 

What were you expecting to happen? I assure you I will continue to make it easy for women. It works great for me that way and many other guys. You can continue crying about it, it doesn't matter.

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They don't have it easier. They just have different kinds of struggles in the dating world. I have never experienced dating from a woman's point of view so I won't dismiss their experiences. I just wish they wouldn't dismiss dating from a man's point of view. If both genders would actually hear each other out then maybe things would improve.

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This is something that has confused me for a long time (both IRL and online). I always see women talking about how hard they have it in dating and life, when it's very clear that men actually have a harder time (especially in dating).

 

For example, there's a single 30 year old girl at my job that has recently decided to start dating. She's cute, but has a very difficult personality. She started dating again (online dating) about 2 weeks ago and pretty much has a boyfriend already.

 

Basically, she just jumped online, did nothing else, and is in a relationship pretty much.

 

I have a similar job and I'm also called cute by women. I get very little love online and I have to approach a significant amount of women IRL before anything develops.

 

I go online, have to craft a ton of messages (to no avail), then have to go out and approach a lot of women before I even get the opportunity to go on a date.

 

As I said, we are in the same league looks-wise, financially, and educationally.

 

So how could women possibly say that they have it as hard (or harder) than men do?

 

Yeah, in the initial dating they hold most of the power and they have it the easiest.

Things change later in the relationship.

 

The key is not to give a damn anymore, and have a general good outlook.

Stop being affected by it.

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Because those who say that really don't have it easier. When you are fishing for a partner you can pull off the whole marriage, kids, white picket fence stuff with you'll quickly find out that the market for those is and always has been friggin' terrible. Or you could just delude yourself into believing your last ONS guy who keeps texting you for more get togethers wants to start a family and get pregnant on purpose I guess, but let's just stick to sane people.

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I have plenty of girl friends in their late 20s/early to mid 30s that have been TRYING to find someone to date and haven't been able to.

 

And these are good looking girls.

 

So... SOME women may have it easier, but personally, I've never found dating to be easy and have been single for most of my adult life. And the same if true of most of my friends.

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I would say women's biggest advantage is they don't have the same pressure to Have great social skills, be outgoing, and interesting/funny like males do.

 

Being boring or socially awkward buries you as a young man

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this isn't a gender issue. It's a lack of confidence, whinny, poor me issue. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Stop blaming the other gender. Talk a long hard look at yourself...fix what you don' t like, embrace what you do like and move on. How many times are we going to be subjected to this same thread over and over AND OVER again. Dating is work, it can be hard and challenging FOR EVERYONE.

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WomenWubber

Men and women tend to struggle in different areas, because they are wired differently.

 

Dating is a game where women hold the power I'm afraid and you have to accept this. It's not like men are absolutely powerless, though.

 

Women already have quantity, so they care about quality. In the end, it all comes down to your ability to get sex. When you have gotten enough of it, you will care more about quality and you will be on equal footing with women. But to accomplish this you will have to play by the game's rules, or you can choose to get bitter about it and do nothing. Your choice.

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Attitude is everything. Doesn't matter what sex you are, how much you earn or what you look like, if you have a good attitude you'll be projecting good vibes.

 

Golly gosh. Fabulously ignorant comment- just google some of the statistics for the number of messages women receive via OLD vs men- a girl I'm going on a date with today confessed she has had 106 messages in the past week through okcupid- I have had 16 in the past 6 weeks. This is a fact. All women have to do is simply turn up, review the offers on the table and pick the best one. Men have to do all the chasing and face constant rejection all of the time.

 

Women have massive social power, especially in the night time/dating scene. I live in the centre of London where females are often pedastalized to the extreme. A promoter who runs a popular night at a Soho bar admits most bars in the area operate what's called a " 9:1" policy- that's 9 women admitted into a club/bar for every 1 man. So if there's 180 women in the club only 20 men will get in lol! Again this is a fact as I've heard it straight from a promoter's mouth who has a lot of power in this scene.

 

To ignore women's power is to be foolish. Women moan about getting "quality" whilst men find it difficult to get anything at all. The whole thing quite franky ****ing disgusts me. I try to keep an open mind but in these modern times it's very difficult. I will be asking this girl today how she deals with all the attention from OLD, and I'm sure she'll have somewhat of an ego to match. When I calmly point out to my female friends these observable realities I experience, they simply say "that's just the way it is." Indeed it is.

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You're focusing on the women who have it easy. There are men and women who for whatever reason have an easy time in the dating world.

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If I wanted to date someone who (in no particular order):

 

 

I was unattracted to

Was unemployed

Was living with parents at age 40+

Did not care about hygiene

Did drugs

Was an alcoholic

Didn't care about their health

Had no pride in their appearance

Was controlling

Was needy/clingy

Was abusive

Was violent

Was in serious debt

Was homeless

Was bitter about women

Was a misogynist

Was a racist

Was a homophobe

 

 

 

 

...then yes, you are correct OP. I am a woman and I have it really easy.

I have an awful lot of suitable options out there if I am happy to overlook all of those things. :)

Edited by GemmaUK
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If by simply getting more options women have it easier than yes. It is because far more males are into OLD. And because of that many sites are free for women. So men have a smaller selection. And are competeing against a lot of men. Not easy.

 

But as was said, the fear of rape is far more present with females. And the lude and aggresive men who your profile says stay away that just don't read. I'm sure there are men that have this problem too but as there are more men on those sites women deal with it more.

 

I tried OLD breifly and was completely turned off by it. I just couldn't handle the lewd and crued. So I left.

 

Now if you are talking life in general. Both sexes have their struggles. And some of these are shared struggles. i would say some individuals have is "easier" than others. But that changes by person, and group by group.

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People with the mindset of "men have it easier" or "women have it easier" are misguided about dating as a whole. They should change their thinking.

 

Dating has gender-neutral challenges, sure. But the people who give off attractive vibes don't give a damn about "so-and-so has it easier" or "dating is hard"...they don't devote any brain cells to that stuff. Instead they have a fun attitude, and if they are empathetic and enjoy being around people, the good attitude is likely to be genuine and natural, not contrived. They also are more likely to just go for it. When you enjoy someone or something, it doesn't feel like "work".

 

Attitude is everything. Doesn't matter what sex you are, how much you earn or what you look like, if you have a good attitude you'll be projecting good vibes.

 

Correct. It's pretty much that simple in my experience.

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thefooloftheyear

Sure...

 

If you want to make the statement that any fat, old, haggard shrew can find some idiot to screw her, then yeah...they have it easier....

 

But what are you really saying?

 

Sure, Men face challenges, but so do women...Some guys need to stop projecting their own values on obtaining sex on women...Its a totally different dynamic and really doesnt "count" when talking about one side vs another..

 

Id even go as far to say that normal and successful guys that take good care of themselves and dont have too many insecurities or hangups probably have the easiest time of all...

 

TFY

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CrystalShine2011

Perhaps you are right...but the main concept is to have a positive attitude about dating or finding the right one....

 

Keep trying! The right women is out there. :)

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People with the mindset of "men have it easier" or "women have it easier" are misguided about dating as a whole. They should change their thinking.

 

Dating has gender-neutral challenges, sure. But the people who give off attractive vibes don't give a damn about "so-and-so has it easier" or "dating is hard"...they don't devote any brain cells to that stuff. Instead they have a fun attitude, and if they are empathetic and enjoy being around people, the good attitude is likely to be genuine and natural, not contrived. They also are more likely to just go for it. When you enjoy someone or something, it doesn't feel like "work".

 

 

 

Correct. It's pretty much that simple in my experience.

 

 

I totally agree.

It's not easy for anyone but as you said here it shouldn't feel like work.

When it feels like work it's time to pull the plug on that option/non option.

 

 

I know plenty of men and women alike who have had maybe one relationship in their lives, 6 months or a year and back in their 20's or 30's.

They're now in their 50's and have no understanding why they are not yet married.

 

 

Each one of them never changed anything about themselves. They go to the same places, do the same things - a few have been labelled as Triangles.

They have a triangle of 'home' to 'bar' to 'takeaway restaurant'.

There are shops within this little triangle so they can buy groceries etc but they rarely if ever go outside of that triangle.

The triangle is walkable completely within about 10 minutes.

 

 

I have my own little triangle for things I need but I rarely ever spend a whole day staying in it - it's just a pop to the shop for x that I have run out of and going for a coffee and a read at my fave coffee shop. I include the park on a sunny day....and another park in the next town (a train ride away) when they have bands playing in the summer.

OK..so mine is not a triangle.. Plus I sometimes go off to London for days out and go to see bands I like and to the theatre. Oh and museums and art galleries.

I don't go out hoping I will meet someone. I go out to enjoy the thing I am doing.

 

 

But even so............

I don't expect to meet 'man of my dreams' in any of these 'shapes' I occupy.

Why should I? I'm not entitled to meet anyone ever again who I might fall in love with.

 

 

I don't blame men for it though. I adore men, they are great fun and I know several who are great friends. Men brighten my day sometimes like no woman ever could (not in any sexual nor relationship way at all).

 

 

Its down to right time, right place, attraction and then approach (from either me or him) plus values and needs and finding out whether we have them in common.

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Every time a heterosexual woman has success in dating, does a man not also have success in dating? :confused:

 

It is a lot easier for women to get a date, but that doesn't mean it will be successful or even pleasant.

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