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So in love, yet so upset


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confusedgirl1993

My boyfriend and I were friends for 3 years before we made the jump to becoming bf/gf. He tells me he loves me every day but he does things that confuse and upset me. For example: yesterday our mutual friend messaged us both to ask if we wanted to go have a drink. I was only just home and didnt want to drive straight back into town so I messaged them back to tell them. My boyfriend said that he was in the library and as he had been stressed out about uni deadlines he didnt want to go out. It turns out however that they both went out and stayed out until 3 in the morning watching movies and drinking in his house. I had been messaging them both independently and they never said that they were together. I'm getting upset because he won't tell me what he is thinking or planning and has started to leave me out of things. I don't know what to do or say to him because any time I bring something like this up he gets defensive and angry. He is away out again with a different set of friends tonight as they are going to see a football match in a different town tomorrow and he hasn't messaged me back. Its like he hardly wants to see me anymore. In could just be acting crazy or it could be actually something of significance. Please someone tell me how to approach this :(

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For whatever reason, he's making no effort to include you. This is disrespectful. Someone who does that repeatedly forfeits the right to call himself your boyfriend.

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StalwartMind

Dodgy behavior at best. Leaving out information that seem to be of relevance is practically the same as not telling the truth, even more so when it is from two separate sources that deemed it not noteworthy. It may of been harmless but as said, consecutive and identical behavior to exclude you would not rank very high in my book either.

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CrystalShine2011

His behavior is really not normal in a relationship. I would explain why he is upsetting you and if that goes nowhere, perhaps take the next step.

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Talk to him. Make it clear that you don't care that he went out with the buddy but that you were upset that nobody gave you that info. I would not care if my husband went out but I would be upset that I thought he was in the library when he was really out & didn't bother to tell me.

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It's not fair that he's going out like that and excluding you. Make sure you communicate to him that this upsets you and that you feel hurt by it. Hopefully, if he is really close to you, he will make sure to include you from now on. Otherwise, if it continues, its better to be happy alone, then sad with somebody else, and you will eventually be with someone who treats you well.

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