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Girlfriend doesn't want me to DJ


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So when I met my girl I was teaching myself how to DJ. After about 4 months of dating I became a DJ at a local bar (nothing to crazy). I could tell she was never too happy about it and I knew why. I could tell that the environment (alcohol & partying and being so public bothered her). She likes to be private and to be a successful DJ you should invite your friends out.

I told her that I was doing it for the money and passion of the music; not to meet girls or to get laid. I understood where she was coming from. It would kind of bother me too if she was a DJ so I understood her concern. I had put myself in her shoes and I told her that I'd quit. She said don't do it for me though.

 

Sometimes I think to myself is she doing wrong by not trusting me? or is she right based on what I said earlier (keep in mind women do hit on you more as a deejay and there are more temptations).

 

And sometimes I think to myself it is something I like doing for the amount of money you get paid. Many tell me I'm talented and have a lot of potential.

 

Tell me what you all think and check out my mix.

 

http://Https://soundcloud.com/mikerodriguez_dmv/good-music_doesnt-have_an-expiration-date

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As long as its a job to you & not a vehicle to cheat on her, you are fine & she needs to recognize it as an income source.

 

 

If you wanted to cheat you could probably find a partner in Church or a library.

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Never abandon your passions for anyone, ever.

 

Even more importantly: never abandon your passions for such a flimsy reason as another person being too insecure to trust you!

 

Goodness gracious, drag her to some festivals and teach her how to dance! Maybe you can get her to appreciate your passion.

 

I dated a DJ once and it was so much fun! I always loved music, but I was exposed to so many new sounds, saw so many shows, danced in awesome places. Never once have I met anyone that spins to get chicks, it's always been all about the music.

 

You will eventually feel dead inside if you abandon your dreams to please a person.

 

Unless you're sending her some very special red flags--which it sounds like you aren't, if you're taking her feelings so deeply to heart--she needs to TRUST. YOU.

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I have a close friend who has DJs forever, and it would be pretty hard for a normal working person to mesh with his life, the hours he works. He is out all night, comes home at 4 in the morning, sleeps until afternoon, and a lot of DJs drink a lot. It just sort of comes with the territory. It's one big party. Whether it gets you a lot of action solely depends how attractive you are, but it does net you a lot of acquaintances, because if you don't network all the time, you will run out of work. Plus he will probably have to segue into event planning and make his own opportunities to DJ, because that's how it's evolved over the years.

 

I can see how it would be hard to live with unless you were a person who didn't have to get up in the morning and liked the lifestyle. But it doesn't automatically make him a cheater.

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I sort of went through something similar years ago. When we were young and broke, my husband made extra money working as a bouncer. What helped me feel better was that he always came straight home after work- there wasn't one night where he stayed to hang out or have drinks, and he'd come home completely sober. That helped me realize he was in it for the job/ money and wasn't interested in the social benefits of working at a club, and once I trusted that, I didn't worry anymore.

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Invite her to be backstage for support.

Perhaps not the best example but a friend of mine had a BF who was working in our local club (only he wasn't a DJ, he stood a little bit behind them and did the light stuff) and even though there were dancing girls in front of him he wasn't interested in any of them. My friend went there with him often but also not always. ...well they did break up last month but that was because he was cheating with an ex, not club related!

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Is this the unstable relationship in which you're always checking each other's phones and constantly breaking up? The girl you pushed to the ground after breaking her phone?

 

You both need help. In a relationship that revolves around jealousy, her saying 'don't do it for me' means you'd damn well better do it for her. I see nothing but trouble, and maybe some broken equipment, ahead.

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