Just broke up with my GF and she's GONE INSANE!

[lordgoofus]

So we'd been going out for about 5 months until yesterday. Everything was okay for the first 3 months but the last 2 months were just boring. I just wasn't feeling it anymore and I’m guessing she felt the same, she just didn't try. It's both of ours first relationship.

 

So I shot her a quick break up text. "Hey, sorry this isn't working out. We should see other people. It's getting boring. Best wishes and have a good life." Really simple, nothing complicated because I didn’t want to drag things out.

 

She texted back 10 minutes later and said "Ok, no problem! :)" and I thought that was the end of it. She seemed perfectly fine with it.

 

But now she's losing her damn mind. I already told her in the text I didn’t want to hear from her again but now she’s violating that request.

 

Texts and calls all day long. At work, my house, she's gone psycho. I'm not responding to any of them because what's done is done and I don't to go over it again, it's a hassle. She lied to me by telling me she was fine and now she’s pulling this move. It’s so surprising because she was NEVER like this when we were dating.

 

But it's freaking me out, I’m terrified of what she’ll do next. What’s my next move?

[ThaWholigan]

That's kind of a sh*tty way of breaking up to be honest . I think the lack of real closure is probably helping to fuel her behavior - not that I condone it.

[Satu]

I would spend some time reading up on Empathy, if I were you.

[lordgoofus]

That's kind of a sh*tty way of breaking up to be honest . I think the lack of real closure is probably helping to fuel her behavior - not that I condone it.

 

Not really. We used to text each other all the time, I first asked her out over text. It's not like it's the 1800's anymore where we have to get a horse and bugey ride to do thing anymore.

 

I texted her back to stop and I'm not interested anymore. TWICE. She just keeps calling and texting, I think she came by my work a few times.

[d0nnivain]

I suppose your only move is to ignore her but keep the texts unless it gets worse so you have proof.

 

 

Going forward, do not break up with somebody via text. It's heartless & mean.

[MrMeh]

I understand that she could have handled it better,but it seems just a little odd and enigmatic to end it with such a blunt text after 5 months, no?

[mammasita]

Regardless of your communication style (I get it, I'm a texter too) a phone call or face to face is the preferred way to break up with someone. A text is just plain douchy. I don't blame her for pestering you.

[d0nnivain]

I actually don't understand why she's pestering him. If he's so awful as to break up with her via text she needs to be saying good riddance & ad mouthing him all over the place, not chasing after him.

[mammasita]

I actually don't understand why she's pestering him. If he's so awful as to break up with her via text she needs to be saying good riddance & ad mouthing him all over the place, not chasing after him.

I suspect it's for closure. After 5 months I'd expect a face to face at least. If not that, she might be legit crazy lol

[DatingDirection]

Not really. We used to text each other all the time, I first asked her out over text. It's not like it's the 1800's anymore where we have to get a horse and bugey ride to do thing anymore.

 

I texted her back to stop and I'm not interested anymore. TWICE. She just keeps calling and texting, I think she came by my work a few times.

 

I think you need to sit down with her in a public space and have an adult conversation with her. If you're adult enough to have a girlfriend, then your adult enough to face her, let her know you don't want to see her again, and that her calling you many times etc is not ok with you, and that she needs to stop. Be kind, just as you were your kind self in the relationship, but be firm, and give her the closure. You will also be able to tell if she is absolutely off her rocker, and if you really need to be worried about her, by having a conversation in person. After you assess the situation, then you can either worry, or feel relived. Just for future reference, don't break up with someone in this way. As I said, if you're mature enough to have a relationship, then you are mature enough to break up with a person in a classy mature way.

[lordgoofus]

I actually don't understand why she's pestering him. If he's so awful as to break up with her via text she needs to be saying good riddance & ad mouthing him all over the place, not chasing after him.

 

Exactly. What does the medium matter? We were going to break up no matter what. It's not like talking to her in person would have magically changed my mind about whether or not I wanted to be with her.

 

Plus, I was honest with her. I told her the EXACT reason we were breaking up and I said it clearly. I don't get why that's a bad thing, I want to be told the truth too if somebody broke up with me.

 

Also, let's not forget she LIED to me about being okay with it when she clearly wasn't. That's pretty messed up in it's own right.

[DatingDirection]

Exactly. What does the medium matter? We were going to break up no matter what. It's not like talking to her in person would have magically changed my mind about whether or not I wanted to be with her.

 

Plus, I was honest with her. I told her the EXACT reason we were breaking up and I said it clearly. I don't get why that's a bad thing, I want to be told the truth too if somebody broke up with me.

 

Also, let's not forget she LIED to me about being okay with it when she clearly wasn't. That's pretty messed up in it's own right.

 

 

Actually, no, you are messed up! You are a kid, living in this techonogical world, where you think there is no difference between breaking up with someone, who might I add, you were together with in person for 5 months, over a text message, vs. in person?? In addition, of course she said she's ok, to save face, but then realised, she wasn't ok, and needed a closure. What's messed up is how you lack empathy in actually realising this! I hope it will be a long while before you have another gf, and furthermore, the only thing she is messed up about is chasing after you.

[Satu]

Exactly. What does the medium matter? We were going to break up no matter what. It's not like talking to her in person would have magically changed my mind about whether or not I wanted to be with her.

 

Plus, I was honest with her. I told her the EXACT reason we were breaking up and I said it clearly. I don't get why that's a bad thing, I want to be told the truth too if somebody broke up with me.

 

Also, let's not forget she LIED to me about being okay with it when she clearly wasn't. That's pretty messed up in it's own right.

 

It could be that in the future someone breaks up with you the same way, and then you'll have the happy experience of a break up that was done with true consideration and thoughtfulness.

 

And with that I think I'll leave this thread, because "it's boring, and I'm just not feeling it."

 

"Have a nice life."

[minimariah]

What’s my next move?

 

growing a pair of balls.

[lordgoofus]

Actually, no, you are messed up! You are a kid, living in this techonogical world, where you think there is no difference between breaking up with someone, who might I add, you were together with in person for 5 months, over a text message, vs. in person??

 

That doesn't make ANY sense.

 

What does it matter how it's done? The end result is EXACTLY the same. We're not living in the stone ages anymore, people communicate over text all the time.

[todreaminblue]

it is pretty heartless to do what you did......i have to wonder would you like it if a woman did that to you...you hurt her

 

i think just keep the no contact thing going...if it were me ....i would have done it face to face...its a little bit cowardly as a man to do that by text...nto a glowing trait of compassion do you own........its not like you

were just seeing her for a couple of days

 

before you get in a relationship again i think you should examine whether you are just in it for the honeymoon period......and make it specifically clear you are not looking for long term commitment.....you will hurt less women that way....if you actually do want to hurt less women.......examine that too....deb

[darkbloom]

A text message is the cowards way out. You should have had the decency to sit down with her face to face and explain it. You basically just gave her the middle finger and showed her that you don't care about her. She has feelings and they are probably hurt which is why she is reacting this way.

 

Next time, try putting yourself in her shoes. And stop whatever instinct made you think that a text message is an acceptable form of communication.

[whichwayisup]

So we'd been going out for about 5 months until yesterday. Everything was okay for the first 3 months but the last 2 months were just boring. I just wasn't feeling it anymore and I’m guessing she felt the same, she just didn't try. It's both of ours first relationship.

 

So I shot her a quick break up text. "Hey, sorry this isn't working out. We should see other people. It's getting boring. Best wishes and have a good life." Really simple, nothing complicated because I didn’t want to drag things out.

 

She texted back 10 minutes later and said "Ok, no problem! :)" and I thought that was the end of it. She seemed perfectly fine with it.

 

But now she's losing her damn mind. I already told her in the text I didn’t want to hear from her again but now she’s violating that request.

 

Texts and calls all day long. At work, my house, she's gone psycho. I'm not responding to any of them because what's done is done and I don't to go over it again, it's a hassle. She lied to me by telling me she was fine and now she’s pulling this move. It’s so surprising because she was NEVER like this when we were dating.

 

But it's freaking me out, I’m terrified of what she’ll do next. What’s my next move?

 

I think it's pretty shi.tty of you to break up with her through text. The least you could have done was talk to her in person. That just makes the past four months mean nothing.

 

She had time to think about it, probably talk to friends and they pumped her up.

 

Either way, she is reacting now. Maybe if you hadn't broken up with her this way she wouldn't be feeling so hurt.

[whichwayisup]

Exactly. What does the medium matter? We were going to break up no matter what. It's not like talking to her in person would have magically changed my mind about whether or not I wanted to be with her.

 

Plus, I was honest with her. I told her the EXACT reason we were breaking up and I said it clearly. I don't get why that's a bad thing, I want to be told the truth too if somebody broke up with me.

 

Also, let's not forget she LIED to me about being okay with it when she clearly wasn't. That's pretty messed up in it's own right.

 

I'm hoping you're not living up to your username Really, you should know women enough by now to know that closure and talking is important to them during a break up. Bolded, you owed her respect and THAT is why she is also upset. You acted like a scared snake, sending her a text that way you wouldn't have to face her, see her reaction or give her some peace.

 

Next time think how you would like to be treated. Or imagine you having a younger sister and some guy treated her like you've treated your gf. Have respect and be a kind person. Ending a R isn't easy but there are proper ways of ending it. You did it a cowards way and washed your hands of her, making her feel bad.

[CC12]

Also, let's not forget she LIED to me about being okay with it when she clearly wasn't. That's pretty messed up in it's own right.

 

Are you serious? I'm sure that when she told you she was okay with it, she meant it. Feelings can change, though, and it doesn't mean she LIED as you put it. She just changed her mind and decided she wasn't okay with you anymore. Nothing wrong with that.

[mammasita]

So when you get fired from your 20 year career by text OP, let us know how that goes....this isn't the stone age, right? No need to have a conversation.

[most_distant_galaxy]

Afraid of confrontation, aren't we?

This is a good moment for you to realise that direct confrontation is always better than break up texts!

[BikerAccnt]

That doesn't make ANY sense.

 

What does it matter how it's done? The end result is EXACTLY the same. We're not living in the stone ages anymore, people communicate over text all the time.

 

No, people talk over text and send information. Real communication can only happen in person, face to face, where you can see and feel what the other person is saying.

 

Text is a sad imitation of that. And it's sad that so many think it's a good way to communicate today.

 

You don't break up by text, you don't break up by phone, you have the common human decency to face the person and tell them.

[elaine567]

You broke up with her over a text, which was bad enough and then added insult by saying it was boring, her interpretation i guess is that she is boring and that will really hurt.

Go and meet her, face to face, be nice, but firm. Tell her sorry it didn't work out and give her closure. Tell her you are just not ready for any commitment and that it was you, not her.

Don't lead her on, but tell her she is NOT boring.

[badpenny]

That doesn't make ANY sense.

 

What does it matter how it's done? The end result is EXACTLY the same. We're not living in the stone ages anymore, people communicate over text all the time.

 

So, let's say I'm your doctor, and you had a recent blood test, so I text you (because hey, we're living in the 21st century, and it's a technologically-modern world, right?) and tell you, via text, that the results show you have a terminal illness. This is it, it's the end, and you haven't got long.

 

You think that would honestly be appropriate?