Girls avoid who they like?

[FrostBlaze]

Probably not, even if shy.

Here's my prob and why i am asking this.

Been trying really hard with a girl for quite some time now. All good and well she is playing hard to get, initiates contacts, flirts, generally answers my questions with yes or "maybe" XD never a no. But generally uses "maybe" just to tease me.

 

Anyhoo as we were having fun, i asked her if she liked me more and she answered rather quickly that "yes". Wich i guess took her by surprise also. As she look surprised kinda like "oh i goofed and told"...i might be wrong.

After that she kinda made herself dissapear that night.

And since then for the last week she has not initiated contact. I tried to talk to her once and she was very short and to the point and has been avoiding me since.

 

Soo what's happening here?

I'm hoping it's just a avoiding me cuz she likes me problem that shy girls do...and not a end of the road.

[todreaminblue]

as a shy girl, i would say that avoidance is not a sign of wanting to start something....more a sign of not wanting to go deeper than friendship..

 

are you shy as well as she ....deb

[preraph]

So you were together on a date and she disappeared? Or is this all just you chatting online? If it's the latter, you need to ask her out because you'll be putting too much into this and then when you meet, neither of you will be what the other envisioned and it will go downhill.

[FrostBlaze]

We do know eachother in person. But the moment she said the yes part was online. THen she just left.

She's my besties bestie. No official dating yet.

However she knows i'm not in it as just a friend. I did manage to makeout with her and she liked it, but she never said anything and that was it.

We mostly flirt online...in person she doesn't as much, idk why.

And yes i am also shy...

 

Still why would she start avoiding me after saying she liked me? :\...i am confused.

Maybe i am reading it wrong.

Or is this one of those " i like him but i don't wanna like him" being in denial things...

Edited February 1, 2015 by FrostBlaze

[Ninjainpajamas]

You're probably not aggressive/assertive enough so she's just dangling the carrot on a stick with you. You're just kind of beating around the bush and wasting time playing these little games.

 

If you've already made out with the girl, what are you doing just flirting with her online? you should have kept the ball rolling and met up with her again, you don't stop and then restart these kinds of things, with women you have a timer and within that timer once you start it, you've got to make your moves and show your intent/interest or they just fade on you and then they tend to close that chapter and open it for the next new guy.

 

After all, there's plenty of guys around always trying to get in a girls pants...so you almost always have competition.

[FrostBlaze]

Damn i hate mentioning these personal stuff.

 

I did not state any order. The flirting online was before the makeout in person.

I did not reset and go back to simple flirts.

After that we had a talk online about getting toghether again. We Sext while i was at work prepering for when we would meet.(not mentiong more, personal) What i'm trying to say is.

I was being assertive/escalating, sure wasn't pulling off.

I am still at work, my schedule is very busy and she knows when i am free to meet.

After said "sext" was the part when she admited to liking me and started to avoid me. Said she was busy and i have not really bothered her since. Busy with work again. So my chance for a meet was spoiled since she started behaving like this while i was at work.

She has not initiated anything in days, i will wait till my next time off so i can have time to talk to her properly.

 

Till then i am trying to figure out wth happened xD.

Edited February 1, 2015 by FrostBlaze

[Ninjainpajamas]

Damn i hate mentioning these personal stuff.

 

I did not state any order. The flirting online was before the makeout in person.

I did not reset and go back to simple flirts.

After that we had a talk online about getting toghether again. We Sext while i was at work prepering for when we would meet. What i'm trying to say is.

I was being assertive/escalating, sure wasn't pulling off.

I am still at work, my schedule is very busy and she knows when i am free to meet.

After said "sext" was the part when she admited to liking me and started to avoid me. Said she was busy and i have not really bothered her since. Busy with work again. So my chance for a meet was spoiled since she started behaving like this while i was at work.

She has not initiated anything in days, i will wait till my next time off so i can have time to talk to her properly.

 

Till then i am trying to figure out wth happened xD.

 

Did you ask her out directly at any point? or did you just keep it flirty?

 

It sounds like she's either got other dating "options" in her life or she's just keep you at a distance and playing the game of back and forth without anything actually happening, and she feels safe with the sexting and all of that in good fun but for that to materialize to real life...especially if you took it in the way that this was a suggestion that you might "get busy" together then you may have punched the gas too aggressively.

 

You have to be careful with women because they tend to like this back and forth game, and it's for you to manage that delicate balance. Some women are really straight-forward more of the "know what they want" type, but those women will be transparent and not delay...the rest of the women will play little games of flirtation and a "warming up" affect to see if they can build up the intensity and what not before allowing something to happen...aka, you getting into their pants.

 

At this point you need to just not get so caught up in what she is doing and just keep yourself distanced if she chooses to blow you off and be unresponsive...the worst thing you can do is continue to just chase, then she'll take you for a sucker and the only thing she'll be deciding is whether to take you for a ride on her love train...which will benefit her a lot more than it will you.

 

It's a power struggle at this point, and you need to just relax and play the cards that you're dealt. You can initiate again at some point but don't be overzealous about it...give it a full reset and act like nothing ever happened before...if it goes back to that same kind of sexual playfulness then you can take it there, or you can even switch it up yourself.

 

I don't want to make this too complicated for you, so at this point just be busy with your work and put this to the side...if the door opens up then walk through it, if not then just forget about it...because if you play her game then you can be played yourself.

 

If you want something serious and you want to stop the games, then you need to have more transparent communication and express how you feel and let her determine which way she wants to go and if she is indecisive or says no, then you walk away immediately.

[FrostBlaze]

Yeah that was kinda the plan, i intend to not give a hoot until i am free 1 day from now. (5 days since we last spoke)

Then i will try to contact her and see how it goes. If she plays along and we can start the sexual stuff again, good. Will go from there.

If she is being distant and short again i'm gonna ask her what's to be asked, and settle things.

Thanks.

 

If it's a no, it's a no and i am off, i don't like games at all .

 

However, considering i am the one who left a ball in her court. I expect her to contact and i really don't feel like initiating, at least I TRIED. If she doesn't contact, game over right?

 

Idk how to play the game , but thanks. Don't date much.

[preraph]

Stop texting call her and ask her out.

[FrostBlaze]

ik it's odd for this day and age, but she does not own a phone xD.

And i did ask her out. Was a yes.

But then she started the whole thing i keep mentioning, so it stopped from happening.