radiodarcy Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 There's this guy who works at the gym I go to as a personal trainer. Several times I've caught him looking at me but when I look back, he looks away. I've tried to initiate eye contact with him as well; but when I do he ignores me. I can't tell if he's interested (I am! ) , curious, or what. And I don't know if the reason he acts so distant is because he's shy or because he's an employee of the gym and flirting with a member is off limits (it may or may not be - - but I would assume it is). Still I've been hit on by other personal trainers (more to get me to sign up for sessions than anything else) there so I'm pretty sure the rules are fluid to say the least. So I'm not sure why he wouldn't be as direct if that's all he wanted from me... of if he wants anything at all... something tells me I'm overthinking this :/ Any thoughts would be welcome - - particularly from someone who has worked as trainer in a gym (or knows someone who has) and is familiar with the rules and the culture. If I do decide to make a move (and I'm contemplating it!) - - I want to be sure I do it in a way that respects his boundaries and doesn't threaten his job. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I doubt he's shy. His looks may be strictly professional, too. So don't rule that out. All you can do is be nice and approachable and see if he bites. The gym may prohibit trainers dating clients or not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WonderWoman911 Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I doubt he's shy. His looks may be strictly professional, too. So don't rule that out. All you can do is be nice and approachable and see if he bites. The gym may prohibit trainers dating clients or not. I agree. Also, when you do decide to approach, make sure he's alone. Because 1: You don't want anyone in your business and 2: You don't want him to give you a nonchalant or rude answer if he's put out there in front of everyone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I think there is some likelihood that he's shy. Perhaps he's looking for a green-light signal. If you're confident enough, go ahead and make the approach yourself. Otherwise, send him a signal that can't be mistaken for anything else. Good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author radiodarcy Posted January 29, 2015 Author Share Posted January 29, 2015 Thanks everyone! The only reason I'm hesitant to say his looks are professional is because I'm not a client - - unless he's targeting me to be a client. But I've been a member there for years I'm thinking he would have made his pitch by now. WonderWoman I agree the best time to approach is when he's alone. As gossipy as gyms can get I don't want people nosing around or eavesdropping! Sal, any suggestions on a signal? I'm a terrible flirt Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Sal, any suggestions on a signal? I'm a terrible flirt Sure, sustained eye contact along with a beaming smile. Of course if he's so shy that he avoids eye contact then you'll probably have to make the approach. Try not to be too intimidating. My bet is that he already knows you like him and is just nervous. Ask him to go for coffee or something so all he has to do is say yes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 He works there. You can always make up an excuse to approach him about gym equipment or something stupid. "Hey, I'm (such & such) I was wondering how to use this exercise machine over there." You are overthinking this. Don't be shy, make your move! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author radiodarcy Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 Thanks Sal and me85! You guys makes it sound so easy! Probably because it is lol I'll try the eye contact and the smile first and if that doesn't work - - the direct approach using the "hey can you help me figure out this machine". If all else fails and he's not interested and/or turns out to have a gf/fiancee then well at least I asked and I'll just slink off and indulge in some affordable retail therapy 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts