Need to tell someone how to deflect drama llama landlord

[applej4]

A friend is looking for a different place to live. She’s had some ongoing problems/tension with the relative she’s been living with for about a year and wants to move quickly. She checked out a few places, but either they were too expensive or in a not-so-great area.

 

She recently looked at a half double in a decent area, and the rent is what she can afford. But as she was telling me about the potential landlord (I say potential because she hasn’t given a definite Yes or signed a lease yet). I saw red flags popping up.

 

She said he’s a nice older man who, as he was showing the place, told her:

 

His 42 yr old daughter was raped 20 yrs ago and doesn’t work.He was fired from the government back in the 80s and he sued them.He said he’s a legal expert with a “keen” mind.He went on a diatribe about how the IRS is scamming everyone, and that at McDonalds he always says “to go” then east inside to avoid the tax. (haha, as if that’s so clever)He told her she’d be welcome to join his family for church and dinner….Huh?

 

Did I say red flags? Make that red sirens blaring.

 

(I mean, really, who tells a potential tenant all this stuff? YIKES! ) Upon hearing all this, I said “Whoa. TMI. Sounds to me like you’d be jumping from frying pan into the fire. Guy sounds like an idiot and he’ll pull you into his drama. I’d pass and RUN. I would have walked out after the McD story.” I even suggested an organization that helps people find affordable housing.

 

She said she is tired of looking and asked for suggestions on how to “deflect” (sidestep) landlord’s comments and stories and invitations. I didn’t have any, other than to tell him “No, thanks”, bite the bullet for awhile longer and keep looking.

 

Is it even possible to “deflect” such a person?

Edited January 28, 2015 by applej4

[carhill]

Some old farts are just weird. No harm in asking for contact info from past tenants. I provide this to tenants if they wish to learn more about how I manage my rentals. I always ask tenants when they move out if a future tenant can contact them. It's the same as me checking them out with past landlords. Two way street.

 

Ask to see the rental agreement and walk-through checklist. If there's any red flags they'll likely be in there.

 

A quick walk-through should indicate whether the guy's a tool or just eccentric. If the place looks like a dump, keep walking.

[Radu]

A

 

Is it even possible to “deflect” such a person?

 

Not necesarily deflect.

 

If you are in a position of power [she is the landlord and the guy is the renting one in a country with power mostly to the landlord], then yes.

Even if you are in a position of power, if you don't use it and put him in his place, he will sense he can get away with much and screw you.

 

But in this situation she is the one in the vulnerable position.

And the relationship will have 2 possible outcomes :

- either she becomes his sounding board and overall acolyte, in which case it's gonna be great

- she keeps to herself, in which case she will have the drama aimed at her

With such a guy you can only win if you are ... worse than he is.

 

Guys like him are basically very egotistical, very much in control and like their power ... quite frankly they are just a more normalized version of the proverbial cult leader [and i would not be surprised if his family was clannish and he was in charge].

 

Advise your friend, but don't get too attached to the outcome ... i have a feeling she is going to make the wrong decision anyhow.

[preraph]

Yeah, he's going to be intrusive and he's a ranter and before long, she'll be the subject of the rant.