This is a kinda weird situation

[Jmmg35]

I was a playboy. I used to date like 4 girls at the same time and others waiting. Then i met this girl who was very interested in me and we began a relationship. I ditched the others because when i start a relationship i just cant be unfaithful. i was not in love with her but she was good in bed and keep me company which i need it because it sucks to sleep alone.

 

She was not pretty so i didnt worry much about her and give her freedom to go out with friends and family. I was not jelaous neither posesive.We moved to a apartment which i bought with her helping me pay the mortgage. My biggest mistake was to think no man will hit on her and i lowered my guard. I started playing videogames, sometimes i was selfish in sex, etc. problem is she began to talk very exciting about a new workmate. i didnt give importance to this fact because the workmate gf was like 10 times hotter than my gf, big mistake.

 

One day she left her smartphone unnatended by 10 minutes and i read a wassap chat with her workmate which i didnt like , i knew somethig fishy was going on. The chat itself didnt prove the fact she was sleeping with him but afterwards she deleted the entired wassap conversation and even deleted this guy from her facebook account. I talked to her and she sweared, sweared and sweared that she didnt had sex with him. But then why she would deleted all the evidence that would prove her innocence?

 

Now comes my big issue. I am not codependent to women. I can break a relationship easily and get another girl severals months later. But problem is i cant break with her because she is helping me paying the rent. Is she not around i would lose my hard earned apartment. So i am forced to live with her. Strange enough sex have been better after the incident but now i wear a condom. In our 2 years of relationship she never denied me sex. She has been always receptive to sex and we are good on it.

 

I will seek profesional advice because my situation is kinda strange lol. I dont know what to do. Friends told me not to ditch her but strenght our bonds, going out more often, sharing hobbies, etc.

Edited January 25, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Frank2thepoint]

One day she left her smartphone unnatended by 10 minutes and i read a wassap chat with her workmate which i didnt like , i knew somethig fishy was going on. The chat itself didnt prove the fact she was sleeping with him but afterwards she deleted the entired wassap conversation and even deleted this guy from her facebook account. I talked to her and she sweared, sweared and sweared that she didnt had sex with him. But then why she would deleted all the evidence that would prove her innocence?

 

There is a possibility she became friends with a guy at work, whom she probably had an emotional affair with such as telling him about how selfish you are in bed, only play video games, etc. They may have went out, but when the guy became more aggressive in pursuit, she didn't like where it was going, so she decided to cut all contact and delete the messages.

 

But problem is i cant break with her because she is helping me paying the rent. Is she not around i would lose my hard earned apartment. So i am forced to live with her.

 

You seem to be more concerned with keeping the apartment than keeping her. You already admitted you are not in love with her, and only like her because she gives you attention and sex. Since you claim you can get another girl easily, just let your girlfriend go. You are selfish for keeping her in a loveless relationship, and using her to keep your apartment. She deserves a man that will reciprocate her feelings. You can always get an affordable apartment anyway.

[Toodaloo]

So you are using her for money...

 

Thats nice (note that is a sarcastic comment).

 

Be a man and stand on your own two feet rather than use a woman. Either that or move back in with Mummy.

 

This girl deserves more than this.

[Methodical]

i was not in love with her but she was good in bed and keep me company which i need it because it sucks to sleep alone.

 

She was not pretty so i didn't worry much about her and give her freedom to go out with friends and family. We moved to a apartment which i bought with her helping me pay the mortgage. My biggest mistake was to think no man will hit on her and i lowered my guard. I started playing videogames, sometimes i was selfish in sex, etc. problem is she began to talk very exciting about a new workmate. i didnt give importance to this fact because the workmate gf was like 10 times hotter than my gf, big mistake.

 

The chat itself didnt prove the fact she was sleeping with him but afterwards she deleted the entired wassap conversation and even deleted this guy from her facebook account. I talked to her and she sweared, sweared and sweared that she didnt had sex with him.

 

But then why she would deleted all the evidence that would prove her innocence?

 

Now comes my big issue. I am not codependent to women. I can break a relationship easily and get another girl severals months later. But problem is i cant break with her because she is helping me paying the rent.

 

So i am forced to live with her. Strange enough sex have been better after the incident but now i wear a condom. In our 2 years of relationship she never denied me sex. She has been always receptive to sex and we are good on it.

 

I will seek profesional advice because my situation is kinda strange lol. I dont know what to do. Friends told me not to ditch her but strenght our bonds, going out more often, sharing hobbies, etc.

 

1. You didn't love her but she was good in bed...that is something a man wh*** would say. Not saying that's what you are but that statement speaks volumes!!!

 

2. Because you didn't find her attractive, you ASSUMED nobody else would. There's a saying about making assumptions...

 

3. You neglected her for video games...are you a teenager???

 

4. If she was so unattractive, and you had nothing to worry about, why did you snoop in the 10 minute window? She deleted the messages because you didn't care about her feelings so why should she let you see her innermost thoughts when she found someone to confide in. Believe it or not, there are a lot of men and women, who can be platonic friends. My best friend is a guy. I talk to him about a lot of things. Yes, my H knows we're friends and they've even become friends.

 

5. You MOST DEFINITELY ARE CO-DEPENDENT!! Worse, you used her all along for sex and money, you said so yourself. What do you think that makes you?

 

6. Nobody is forcing you to stay with her. In fact, you are continuing to USE her and that makes you *** (decided to leave it blank because it's not nice.) As far as the sex being better, if the sex was bad then that was your fault. In your opening statement you mentioned how good she was in bed. And don't forget, you are the one who was selfish with sex...again, your words!!

 

You should most definitely seek professional help because you need it!

Edited January 25, 2015 by Methodical

[preraph]

Well, first of all, you should be wearing a condom at all times anyway, and she should be on birth control because unplanned children are a playboy lifestyle killer.

 

Clearly this girl was attractive enough to you that she's got you, and that means she's probably even more attractive to other guys who have not lived the playboy lifestyle and viewed as much variety as you have. So this girl has options and you better not forget it if you care about her in any other way besides rent and sex.

 

As for deleting texts -- some people are organized and clear out their texts and emails immediately. In fact, you should be more worried if she hangs onto one for any time because that could mean she's crushing a little. I clean my inbox several times a day to make life easier for myself. Read nothing into that! Decide if you like this girl or she's just convenient. If you're not in love with her and you blow up jealous, she's going to think you are, which she may already think since you're having sex with her every day. It would be a reasonable assumption.

[SycamoreCircle]

This does not sound healthy. I would encourage you, cheating or non-cheating girlfriend aside, to begin to evaluate why you seek relationships with people where you don't fully care about them? The manner in which you described her worth to you is frightening.

 

I believe if you can start to value the people you're with, there is a greater chance they will value you, too.

[Jmmg35]

thank you all for your sincere replies to my thread. i have talked to a few close friends and all agree to keep her since i dont have enough proof of infidelity. i certainly will value her more from now.

[Toodaloo]

thank you all for your sincere replies to my thread. i have talked to a few close friends and all agree to keep her since i dont have enough proof of infidelity. i certainly will value her more from now.

 

Your going to "keep her"?

 

Do do know this woman is a human being don't you and not some disposable possession?

 

I really do think you need to take a good long hard look at yourself as you have spoken about this woman in a very derogatory way and your attitude seems to be one of "I get sex and cash" out of this girl so what the heck... Pimps think like that...

 

Yes she is going to be attractive to others but if you are going to stay in this relationship she needs to be attractive to you!

 

Please have a good long think about what is going on here with your attitude towards her because it really does sound as though you are using her and I wouldn't be at all surprised if she ups and leaves.

[loveboid]

The way you are behaving is not that nice. I don't think you love her or have any affection for her...you're using her for money and sex and giving NOTHING in return...that's why she went looking for love and affection somewhere else, and she should.

[Jmmg35]

So you are using her for money...

 

Thats nice (note that is a sarcastic comment).

 

Be a man and stand on your own two feet rather than use a woman. Either that or move back in with Mummy.

 

This girl deserves more than this.

 

she is only paying 30% of the rent and it was by mutual agreement before we bought the property. I let her to chose the apartment and she is very happy with it

[Jmmg35]

1. You didn't love her but she was good in bed...that is something a man wh*** would say. Not saying that's what you are but that statement speaks volumes!!!

 

2. Because you didn't find her attractive, you ASSUMED nobody else would. There's a saying about making assumptions...

 

3. You neglected her for video games...are you a teenager???

 

4. If she was so unattractive, and you had nothing to worry about, why did you snoop in the 10 minute window? She deleted the messages because you didn't care about her feelings so why should she let you see her innermost thoughts when she found someone to confide in. Believe it or not, there are a lot of men and women, who can be platonic friends. My best friend is a guy. I talk to him about a lot of things. Yes, my H knows we're friends and they've even become friends.

 

5. You MOST DEFINITELY ARE CO-DEPENDENT!! Worse, you used her all along for sex and money, you said so yourself. What do you think that makes you?

 

6. Nobody is forcing you to stay with her. In fact, you are continuing to USE her and that makes you *** (decided to leave it blank because it's not nice.) As far as the sex being better, if the sex was bad then that was your fault. In your opening statement you mentioned how good she was in bed. And don't forget, you are the one who was selfish with sex...again, your words!!

 

You should most definitely seek professional help because you need it!

 

1- I partially agree. But being a playboy and date many women is allowed by the United States constitution:cool

2- 100% agree with you

3- partially agree. But the xbox one and PS4 graphics can easily win a grown up man heart. i promise i will ditch videogames and give her more attention.

4- 100% agree with you

5- partially agree. She is not forced to be with me. I tell her she is not my property and she can leave whenever she wants. I dont have her chained to my bed like in a horror movie. I have been a gentleman to her , never yelled, and least physical or any kind or other abuse.

6- not agree. Whoa hold on ! The sex was good. Now is better. I was selfish only 3 or 4 times in almost 2 years of relationship. The rest of the time i was very good in bed. Sorry if i didn't clarify that earlier.

[Jmmg35]

There is a possibility she became friends with a guy at work, whom she probably had an emotional affair with such as telling him about how selfish you are in bed, only play video games, etc. They may have went out, but when the guy became more aggressive in pursuit, she didn't like where it was going, so she decided to cut all contact and delete the messages.

 

 

 

You seem to be more concerned with keeping the apartment than keeping her. You already admitted you are not in love with her, and only like her because she gives you attention and sex. Since you claim you can get another girl easily, just let your girlfriend go. You are selfish for keeping her in a loveless relationship, and using her to keep your apartment. She deserves a man that will reciprocate her feelings. You can always get an affordable apartment anyway.

i apreciate your advice. Very wise words.

[Jmmg35]

Well, first of all, you should be wearing a condom at all times anyway, and she should be on birth control because unplanned children are a playboy lifestyle killer.

 

Clearly this girl was attractive enough to you that she's got you, and that means she's probably even more attractive to other guys who have not lived the playboy lifestyle and viewed as much variety as you have. So this girl has options and you better not forget it if you care about her in any other way besides rent and sex.

 

As for deleting texts -- some people are organized and clear out their texts and emails immediately. In fact, you should be more worried if she hangs onto one for any time because that could mean she's crushing a little. I clean my inbox several times a day to make life easier for myself. Read nothing into that! Decide if you like this girl or she's just convenient. If you're not in love with her and you blow up jealous, she's going to think you are, which she may already think since you're having sex with her every day. It would be a reasonable assumption.

100% agree

[Jmmg35]

This does not sound healthy. I would encourage you, cheating or non-cheating girlfriend aside, to begin to evaluate why you seek relationships with people where you don't fully care about them? The manner in which you described her worth to you is frightening.

 

I believe if you can start to value the people you're with, there is a greater chance they will value you, too.

 

She was the one pursuing me from beggining. She was kinda obssesed with me. She would appear knocking the door of my apartment when i least expected. She gave me a lot of gifts. She sent me a lot of text messages and calls till i finally gave up and began the relationship. She was very insistent and aggresive. I like to add the fact that i always have practiced sports since high school( baseball and soccer team, etc) and i always hit the gymn. I apreciate your advice

[Jmmg35]

Your going to "keep her"?

 

Do do know this woman is a human being don't you and not some disposable possession?

 

I really do think you need to take a good long hard look at yourself as you have spoken about this woman in a very derogatory way and your attitude seems to be one of "I get sex and cash" out of this girl so what the heck... Pimps think like that...

 

Yes she is going to be attractive to others but if you are going to stay in this relationship she needs to be attractive to you!

 

Please have a good long think about what is going on here with your attitude towards her because it really does sound as though you are using her and I wouldn't be at all surprised if she ups and leaves.

 

sorry if i used the words "to keep her" my english grammar sucks. I meant to continue to be with her, and value her more. I was a playboy for a long time so getting used to see women other way than simple temporary possesions will take me some time. But i will try hard because i like the stability and have her around all the time, watch movies togheter, etc. thanks for your advice anyway.

[Jmmg35]

The way you are behaving is not that nice. I don't think you love her or have any affection for her...you're using her for money and sex and giving NOTHING in return...that's why she went looking for love and affection somewhere else, and she should.[/

 

Read my replies to others. I know who is her workmate. And i can sure tell you he is not better than me. He spent like 80% of the time playing videogames and owns any videogame console ever made.

[Gloria25]

Ok, we got it, this chick threw herself at you...

 

But, some people wouldn't take advantage of someone you know?

 

I've had guys turn down FWB situations with me cuz they felt like they'd be using me. I've had guys insist on paying when they take me out...actually, one guy said "don't insult me" when I pulled out my purse and offered to split it....

 

Just sayin'....

[Toodaloo]

sorry if i used the words "to keep her" my english grammar sucks. I meant to continue to be with her, and value her more. I was a playboy for a long time so getting used to see women other way than simple temporary possesions will take me some time. But i will try hard because i like the stability and have her around all the time, watch movies togheter, etc. thanks for your advice anyway.

 

I really hope that you do change your attitude towards this woman.

 

The way you have felt towards her and been treating her up until now sucks. Any woman worth half her salts will up and leave you if you carry on like this. That is only going to leave you with the dregs... Trust me the dregs (either male or female) are no fun to be with.

 

Why not try writing down what she means to you and the ways in which you value her and the things you are attracted to in her. Clear it in your own mind. Look for ways in which you can show her you value her and care about her and watch the result. You will be surprised at the difference in her when you do things like helping about the house, making her a cup of tea, bringing her flowers every now and then will make.

[Jmmg35]

Ok, we got it, this chick threw herself at you...

 

But, some people wouldn't take advantage of someone you know?

 

I've had guys turn down FWB situations with me cuz they felt like they'd be using me. I've had guys insist on paying when they take me out...actually, one guy said "don't insult me" when I pulled out my purse and offered to split it....

 

Just sayin'....

 

When you are a single man full of testosterone living in a small studio apartment and then came this girl at night knocking on your door with a big smile and bringing you food is it easy to end... :love:well you know lol. Ask your brothers or any man friends you have.

[Satu]

Narcissism.

[loveboid]

Well if she threw herself at you and you're not that into her where you're not in love and are just worried about rent and not being lonely...then she probably finally felt it and is moving on.

 

I would move on too. I would find a roommate. Talk to her. Maybe she has a girlfriend to move in with. Maybe she's trying to line up this new guy to live with. If you had someone else to pay the rent it would be easy to break up with her.