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THIS MAY GUIDE YOU.. Narcissism ..


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LADIES!!!! COULD IT BE NARCISSISM ?

 

This is important and it may not be for all here, but I believe there are a few that will find this enlightening and helpful!

 

I stumbled across this forum and have been reading all the stories of mostly women being hurt and abused and used as objects from these men.

 

They will drain you emotional, financially without a single feeling of guilt. They don't have a conscience!

 

At the beginning they are charming, loving unbelievably wonderful all for you … all part of their plan to hook you in until they get bored with you and go on to another and then they come back when they are bored with the other and then they will go back again and go back to the other. It's a total cycle.

 

I have been a victim of these emotional crimes and suffered terribly, but no one seems to mention this subject and disorder here (at least I haven't seen so forgive me if I'm wrong) … YOU may well be the victim of Narcissistic behavior .. by a man or woman you thought really loved you like you do them.

 

Narcissists are users, and will literally treat you as an object for their own use. For their drug their OWN ego. They will idealize you and then devalue you and discard you as if you are nothing. They have no empathy and no conscience. They are cheaters and they WILL replace you.

 

I strongly advise you to please look up Narcissisism … it is a real thing that NOT too many people know about until it's too late in the relationship and have been treated with such disrespect, abuse and cruelty and horror!.

 

They will leave you devastated and walk away with not a care in the world and work on their next victim… which by the way they were probably "love-bombing" while they were still in bed with you .. then they discard you. (Nice)

 

You will think you have met your soul mate, your love finally, the man of your dreams … only to find out it has all been fake!!! (A mask to trick you).

 

He will keep you hooked, be married, be with you and have many others as well. You usually are not the only one he's texting or emailing, saying how much he loves you and calling.. he appreciates all the attention! His drug and you are it (Narcissistic supply)

 

They brain wash/manipulate you… you fall madly in love with them .. they were perfect … and you try desperately to get those good times back. It won't …not for long …maybe just a bit … and just when you think everything is loving and rosy again, he'll dump you like a rock as he's been secretly getting ready for the next, then he'll be off again.

 

Anyway, this may not be your man, but I STRONGLY URGE you PLEASE PLEASE educate yourself on this subject as soon as possible. Just in case. You will see! Your eyes will open wide! You will know!

It will help you realize it's NOT YOU THATS THE PROBLEM!

 

You will find many writings on the subject all over the internet and plenty out there with forums to help you with your struggles if it is a Narcissist you are dealing with. If he is ….. its hard … but run a mile … it will NEVER change with you or his next victim!

 

I was used and so emotionally abused.. I felt like I was going crazy. So I wanted to share just a few links below for you to see. I have learned so much and feel it my duty to help others that may be in such relationships. I have nothing to do with these sites just passing them on in the hopes that it will help some one (at least), to find out the truth above their lover and more importantly, get the energy back to find themselves away from this evil energy and find yourself once again.

 

Leaving a Narcissist is not easy, it is VERY HARD… and the same must go NC, but you may find you are also addicted and with any addition you will have withdrawals when you give it up!

 

 

7 Things Your Narcissist Won?t Tell You | Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

 

Psychology and Mental Health Forum - Psych forums

 

I do hope I have helped someone.

 

avictom

 

I forgot to mention, they live in their own fantasy world … a life and fantasy of constant lies and they are masters at the lying … so clever how they can fool you!

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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GirlStillStrong

Yes, I know exactly what you are talking about. For more, you may want to read George Simon, In Sheep's Clothing. I got it off Amazon and devoured it.

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Yup, this was my MM. Although you don't know it when you're in the relationship. After you go NC, then you see him for what he really is. I "thought" I was in a great relationship, until he dumped me, threw me under the bus, suddenly one day. I was heartbroken, beyond belief. Then, finally, I saw him for what he really was: a narcissist.

 

 

Thanks for sharing avictom. What happened to you? Was this your MM or your husband? Maybe you can help some other ladies on here by sharing your story.

 

 

Straight up: at least we are not with these sick guys anymore.

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Folks, this is a general relationship discussion topic regarding narcissism and its relevance to affairs. Personal shots at members will not be tolerated, at all. Post to the topic. Thanks!

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Narcissism is one of the most commonly discussed subjects on this board. If you click on search and look up "Narcissism" or Narcissistic Personality Disorder" you will find endless threads on the subject.

 

It's interesting to talk about, and I'm sure lots of people come here following the end of a difficult relationship with somebody who they found narcissistic in many ways. Whether one's ex is a diagnosable narcissist or not is probably not something most people would be in a position to form an objective (let alone professional) opinion about. Probably most people, when they want to leave a relationship with somebody they've lost interest in, are capable of behaving in quite cruel and narcissistic ways. That's not to say lots of people here aren't the casualties of broken relationships with narcissists...but since the opening post encourages people to read up on this, I just want to present a bit of a counter argument to that.

 

By all means read up on it if the subject interests you. There are undoubtedly quite fascinating aspects to various personality disorders that make for interesting reading. However, when people get really into reading this stuff with the rationale that they're aiding their own recovery (from a relationship with somebody who they think may have been narcissistic, psychopathic or bi-polar - these being disorders people frequently speculate their exes may have suffered from), they might be fooling themselves. As soon as you're reading up on a subject like that with the specific intention of trying to diagnose somebody you know, who has caused you pain in your life, you're going to remain entrenched in thinking about that person for a long, long time. Guidance about recovering from a relationship with a narcissist, if it's written by a professional, could be very useful - but a lot of the guidance I recall reading was written from a very emotional, hurt place which isn't always the best place from which to deliver effective help and guidance to others.

 

That's just my take....but I understand the temptation to get very immersed in thinking and talking about it to people who are in a similar place to you. It can feel very comforting. Just be open to the possibility that becoming preoccupied with the subject of narcissism (and whether or not your ex was a narcissist) might stop you recovering from the relationship and moving on faster than you might otherwise do.

Edited by Taramere
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Maybe it helps some people to apply a fancy schmancy word to it. Either way, I try to avoid selfish <people>. And I've known a few.

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Frank2thepoint

I've seen several threads mention the subject of narcissism. Now with this one, I've thought about the topic and read a little more into it, such as the supplied links in the first post. I have to say some of the women I dated had narcissistic behavior, which makes sense since they ended up flaking/disconnecting in a sudden manner, especially after the emotional rapport was building. Also, as I've already knew and contrary to the few naysayers that point the blame to the "victim" and claim the person's "people picker" is off, the narcissist latches on to anyone that gives the person attention. But now it makes me wonder that the same people that place the blame on the "victim", are narcissist themselves, since narcissists will always see the "victim" as weaklings.

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GirlStillStrong

There's a big difference between "being narcissistic" and having narcissistic personality disorder. I have been narcissistic in relationships but am nowhere close to having the disorder which, in general, means you are DEVOID of empathy for others. I have tremendous empathy for others, and probably enough for four or five people LOL

 

What I have learned about myself is that I am a giver, a kind person, and as such, tend to be targeted by people like those with Narcissism. I think that is probably true of others like me so it is good for caring people to read about it because then they can get smart to the manipulations and schemes of the personality disordered!

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regine_phalange

Diagnosing people with personality disorders must be the new fashion. I agree with girlstillstrong, we all carry traits of personality disorders, that does not mean we have them though. It's like diagnosing someone with cough having lung cancer. Even if your ex was diagnosed by a professional, it's always better to look at yourself and wonder why you attracted such a person at the first place. Why you have the boundaries you have. Forgive yourself for being naive. And then do some work. On you.

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GirlStillStrong
Diagnosing people with personality disorders must be the new fashion. I agree with girlstillstrong, we all carry traits of personality disorders, that does not mean we have them though. It's like diagnosing someone with cough having lung cancer. Even if your ex was diagnosed by a professional, it's always better to look at yourself and wonder why you attracted such a person at the first place. Why you have the boundaries you have. Forgive yourself for being naive. And then do some work. On you.

 

I agree it is best to examine and work on yourself, however, unless you have actually been the victim of a narcissist, you don't know the effect it has on people, or the effect it will have on you. It is like being constantly forcefully hit from behind and you don't know what is causing it or how to make it stop. So, sorry, I can't agree with you on this. No one is qualified to diagnose someone with a character disorder unless they are trained to do so but when you are dealing with someone who keeps ****ing with you and destroying you, it does help to learn their game. I learned the hard way, had to. Some of us, no matter what we do, will always be targeted by these people just because of our very nature.

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regine_phalange
I agree it is best to examine and work on yourself, however, unless you have actually been the victim of a narcissist, you don't know the effect it has on people, or the effect it will have on you. It is like being constantly forcefully hit from behind and you don't know what is causing it or how to make it stop. So, sorry, I can't agree with you on this. No one is qualified to diagnose someone with a character disorder unless they are trained to do so but when you are dealing with someone who keeps ****ing with you and destroying you, it does help to learn their game. I learned the hard way, had to. Some of us, no matter what we do, will always be targeted by these people just because of our very nature.

 

I've been with a "sick" person as well. I could write a bunch of stories and you wouldn't really be able to tell if he was narcissist, BPD or a sociopath, or all three. It was that bad. But the sad part is that he showed signs since the beginning. It was me who was too naive and forgiving, and I take responsibility for enabling him and letting him go that far. So, while I support being educated and knowing the signs of a narcissist, it's even more useful in the long run to look at yourself. I say this with care. Because you may be the victim, but you still have half the responsibility. I had half the responsibility myself. It's hard to accept it because then you have to fight with your own dysfunction and cut some heads off on the way.

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I actually got directed to this board by googling "narcissist" a long long time ago.

 

There are a lot of people here who know exactly what it's like to be away from a person like this. When you're just starting to pick up the pieces and make sense of what just hit you it can be so emotionally draining.

 

But it's so important to be aware of this condition so that you know it inside and and out to avoid getting involved with someone like this in the future.

 

Thank you for posting this information. I'm sure it will help many people out of a bad situation or being in a bad place in their head.

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