darkmoon Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 (edited) respond the same to anything, I mean... in falling in love showing they love some1 handling heartbreak seeking one night stands cheating with sex getting caught emotional affairs argiung and winning or losing for that matter any thoughts? Edited January 24, 2015 by darkmoon Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 (edited) No. Men tend to be more reasonable. Honestly, I have concluded that men and women are both clueless about each other. Larry Niven said it best in Ring World. He suggested that men and women are really different species. Edited January 24, 2015 by Robert Z Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 does anyone respond the same way to the same things? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Respecting individuality, I'm watching George C. Scott in 'Patton' right now and, even today, there's solid differences in psychology which are why, in that movie, and in real life, it is overwhelmingly men who do the ugly business of killing and war. Those same men then go home (if they're not killed) and kiss and make love to their wives and bounce their children on their knee and play catch. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 respond the same to anything, I mean... in falling in love Yes. showing they love some1 Yes, but they show it in different ways generally. handling heartbreak Men are less likely to show being hurt ... you are seen as weak if you do for the small things. Men in my opinion handle heartbreak and those emotions ... harder, they have less experience with them than women. seeking one night stands Women tend to look for it passively. Men tend to look for it actively. cheating with sex getting caught emotional affairs No. For most men, their SO having a PA is more devastating then an EA while for women it's the opposite way. EA's though [and most men don't get it] are almost required for women cheating [more than for say men], and a much harder enemy to defeat than a PA [something that men don't understand]. argiung and winning or losing for that matter any thoughts? You can't win an argument with a woman, unless she sees it your way and you maybe compromise on it or adopt her opinion. They are relentless and eventually will wear you down. That is one thing i learned [the hard way]. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Radu you are single? unmarried ? borderline virgin? no offence just asking aM Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 any man can win an argument with a woman every time .all the time its easilly done:cool: aM Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 darkmoon yes and no aM Link to post Share on other sites
Author darkmoon Posted January 26, 2015 Author Share Posted January 26, 2015 any man can win an argument with a woman every time .all the time its easilly done:cool: aM can please say how? v curious do you mean by shouting, or what? just wondering... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 (edited) can please say how? v curious do you mean by shouting, or what? just wondering... For me, it was by giving up. It was the only way I ever got any peace. Otherwise she would nag me relentlessly until she got her way. PS. This is a great way to kill a marriage. Eventually, that alone was enough to make me stop loving her. It is manipulation and a form of abuse. There are times I would have given just about anything for her to shut up. Edited January 26, 2015 by Robert Z 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 Radu you are single? unmarried ? borderline virgin? no offence just asking aM No offence, i totally take no offence at offence followed by 'no offence'. Single, unmarried, celibate for 4yrs, 3 nasty relationships were i learned what i wrote. I hope i didn't step on any toes, i was told the above coupled with regular breathing and a pulse entitles me to an opinion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 can please say how? v curious do you mean by shouting, or what? just wondering... just agree with with them sincerely and honestly whatever it they are moaning bitching about just agree works with some guys too Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 whatever it they are moaning bitching about just agree works with some guys too Very true. I commonly use this technique of agree and redirect with a friend's wife who is bi-polar and often goes sideways for no apparent reason and learned the techniques when caring for a psychotic person. Underscoring the differences between men and women, I could handle the psychosis intellectually and disconnect it from emotions; my exW, even though generally emotionally inexpressive, had great difficulty with this type of compartmentalization and such was a significant issue in the downfall of our marriage. More 'typical' men breathe this kind of disconnection; I had to learn it. I would have made a lousy soldier or assassin. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 There are differences between men and women, yes. But not all girls respond the same way and not all guys respond the same way. Everyone is different. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 (edited) I know it was considered to be watered-down, pop psychology, but my ex and I both found the book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, to have a lot of truth in it. I never read the book but watched a number of lectures and read a synopsis of the ideas along with other material [i sort of fell into it by accident and then my wife bought the book]. For a time it actually helped our marriage. Nothing else ever did. Essentially, the author argues that men and women process information differently and are driven by different objectives. For example, one of the biggest complaints from women is that their husbands never listen. Men on the other hand complain that their wives are just being emotional. And in a sense, both are true. While generalizations that don't apply to everyone, in my experience and other people I know, it made a lot of sense. Women will often complain about something specific but are really expressing an emotion. They are telling their husband that they aren't happy. But men don't see the big picture. We focus on the specific problem and try to solve it [men tend to be problem solvers]. The women get angry because the men are telling them how to solve as problem that isn't really the problem and missing the key point. The men get angry because to us, problem solved! We are left wondering, what the heck is the problem? She is just nuts! This is one example of the types of patterns that emerge in marriages that cause conflict, that are driven by our fundamental differences, according to the author. Maybe it can't all be taken at face value but it was all too familiar as I learned more about his arguments. In fact, time after time I found him to be dead on. And so did my wife. And so did our friends. Edited January 29, 2015 by Robert Z Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Men dont know anything about women and women know nothing about men..... There are rare exceptions, but the reality is that men and women differ on more levels than anyone can imagine...Why has it been determined in the last few decades that this is a "bad" thing? I have no idea... Its one of the many reasons why attempts at gender nuetrality have been pretty much a total flop, IMO... I reallt dont understand why we cant celebrate our differences, show each other proper mutual respect, admiration, and love....and be who we are...If our opinions aren' always aligned, then maybe its not a matter of "us vs them", but its just the nature of the beast... TFY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 agree TFY between me and you they should just shut up and do as they are told Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Men dont know anything about women and women know nothing about men..... There are rare exceptions, but the reality is that men and women differ on more levels than anyone can imagine...Why has it been determined in the last few decades that this is a "bad" thing? I have no idea... Its one of the many reasons why attempts at gender nuetrality have been pretty much a total flop, IMO... I reallt dont understand why we cant celebrate our differences, show each other proper mutual respect, admiration, and love....and be who we are...If our opinions aren' always aligned, then maybe its not a matter of "us vs them", but its just the nature of the beast... TFY You could be more positive and say that we compliment each other. There doesn't need to be a battle. In my humble opinion the way a person reacts has more to do with there general character than their gender. A person who is quick to anger will always be quick to anger. A person who is more calculating and thoughtful in their reactions will always be that way. I know some men and I look at them and think that they are reacting in a very unreasonable and hysterical manner... Hysterics being something that is typically considered "female". I look at some women and wonder how they can be so incredibly stoic... Typically considered "male"... Robert you say about nagging... With my ex I ended up nagging simply because he was a lazy b*****d and I was exhausted. All I wanted and needed was a bit of help around the house. All I was asking was that he put his clothes on the washing pile, take his dirty mugs to the kitchen, pick up his shoes and put them away. Thats all. I was working longer hours and paying the bills. He would complain about my nagging, so I stopped and we lived like pigs because I couldn't cope with his mess on my own. So while you say nagging is horrific, actually getting to the point where you are so tired, exhausted and frustrated that you feel you have to nag is pretty awful too... Its no fun to come home and wish you were back at work and want to cry every single day. Its no fun to ask for help after a 15 hr day and be ignored because they are "tired" or "busy on the x box" or "yeah yeah later". Anyone who seriously expects another person to put out and be excited about having sex with someone with so little concern or care for their own well being let alone their partners is mad. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 (edited) Robert you say about nagging... With my ex I ended up nagging simply because he was a lazy b*****d and I was exhausted. All I wanted and needed was a bit of help around the house. All I was asking was that he put his clothes on the washing pile, take his dirty mugs to the kitchen, pick up his shoes and put them away. Thats all. I was working longer hours and paying the bills. He would complain about my nagging, so I stopped and we lived like pigs because I couldn't cope with his mess on my own. So while you say nagging is horrific, actually getting to the point where you are so tired, exhausted and frustrated that you feel you have to nag is pretty awful too... Its no fun to come home and wish you were back at work and want to cry every single day. Its no fun to ask for help after a 15 hr day and be ignored because they are "tired" or "busy on the x box" or "yeah yeah later". Anyone who seriously expects another person to put out and be excited about having sex with someone with so little concern or care for their own well being let alone their partners is mad. That all sounds very frustrating but you can't assume that your bum of a husband was anything like me. I got bitched out if I forgot to wash off my coffee spoon. And I was often working 100-hour weeks. She was a miserably unhappy, manipulative, controlling person who nagged relentlessly any time she didn't get her way. In fact, now that I've had a lot of time to reflect on the years of our marriage, I am convinced that she is a sociopath [or maybe psychopath... the definitions get a bit confused]. I think she was incapable of feeling empathy. It didn't matter how hard I was working, how many sleepless nights I had, how many tens of thousand of air miles I was traveling, or that I was making money faster than she could spend it, I was nagged to death. Did she make me meals? No. Did she do my laundry? No. Did she offer to help with my business? No. Did she offer me comfort or even companionship? No. Help to pack my clothes, help with airline tickets or travel, help clean my office? No. Either she ran off to play with her friends or she sat there for ten years with her face in her computer and bitched at me. I once counted something like 14 days that she went without ever saying anything nice. She would actually CALL me in my office [i worked at home] to bitch about my coffee spoon. Oh yes, here's the kicker. Now that I'm on my own, my place is almost always spotless. She was the pig but was always blaming me. Edited January 31, 2015 by Robert Z 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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