Lockey1995 Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 Hey, I've always been someone who over thinks everything, anxiety etc. It can get crippling when I talk to girls I've been over thinking this for a about a week now and i Just can't get it off my mind but I'm pretty sure I have actually messed up here. About 2 weeks ago I found out a girl that was in my job induction liked me according to a friend I worked with, So I started talking to her a little although be it nervously, but in the induction I told her I've always been very shy and I think she understood.She's also very shy, but I managed to talk a bit I was asking her about what she does and so on, she said she goes to college we were talking about that and I said do you enjoy it. She said the course yes but being there no as I get bullied quite a bit. I just said have you spoke to anyone about it and so on and she said yes but nothings been done about it she also said she was sad most of the time as well. Ideally I wanted to help her out with this but I doubt she even trusts me anymore She was only in one day a week so I didn't really speak to her that much my friend said do you want her number, so he asked her to see If could have it and she said yes we started talking about work etc and that she was finishing on x mas eve due to a terminated contract etc. On the Saturday, I went to the works party she was there, It was quite awkward and uncomfortable at the party so I didn't speak to her much, when she left she just smiled and waved at me from across the room. When I got home I text her saying "Sorry for being awkward I am at times :/" She said Don't worry I don't think you were being awkward" I then took it a little too far and told her what happened after college and not being able to speak to people but I'm getting over it now. After this there was no reply the next day I just asked when she broke up from college? and a pointless text that didn't really need an answer don't know Why i sent it, nothing. So the next week things in my mind just went awkward and I was over thinking through the week what shall I say, what shall i say and ended up saying nothing that day at all one smile I think that was it, It might just be me paranoid that she didn't want to speak to me, But i was convinced in my mind she didn't want to speak to me. Anyway wasn't thinking I got home and sent " I'm going to be honest here, I can get a little shy at times, but I really enjoy talking to you " This made things worse in my opinion so the next time I saw her I just said "Have I done anything wrong because I don't want to come off as someone I'm not" She said no, no you're fine the only thing That's killing me now is I sort of approached it a little quick/nervous and I'm worried it may have even scared her even though when she walked off she did smile so might be me over thinking again. On I think it was the Monday before christmas eve she was on my both of my breaks and sat directly in front of me on the table infront twice!, I just couldn't speak to her at all, just couldn't get any words out . Anyway, to avoid the details we'll fast forward to her last day x mas even Wednesday, I've felt so guilty and depressed that I've done something wrong this week I've hardly spoke to anyone, I saw her 3 times and she kept looking at me but I never reacted :/, One of them I was walking past the aisle she was in and got stuck behind 2 customers and for literally 10 seconds she just looked at me and what did i do look at the floor!. So On my lunch I just walked up to her and said hey, how are you etc, wished her a lovely christmas which she said thank you, you too then said I just wanted to say I'm sorry about those two texts, she said it's fine don't worry. But I just don't know if it is fine maybe it is I just over think alot of things. I saw her once more When I walked past her I looked away and she just looked at the floor. Anyway 5 pm comes around and she leaves the staff door opposite the aisle I'm working in and walks around the aisle and behind me. now this is where it gets weird she walked past my aisle 5 or 6 times then walked off. I went on my break and turns out she cried when she left because she wasn't returning back unless she gets called sometime, So I just sent a text saying heard you were upset, are you ok? No reply. I sent her one more message for new year saying "Happy New year, hope it's a great one for you" I just don't know if I've done something wrong here to screw this up I was going to leave it for 2 weeks then just send hey to her or whatever but I'm just paranoid I've done something horribly wrong. Was thinking of leaving it say 2-4 weeks sending a simple text and see what happens. Cheers, Jack Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 Your actions are confusing her. She's probably insecure also and may wonder if you're just playing with her because when she is trying to be available, you look down, etc. I think you have to ask her out. You've already told her you're shy. Maybe you just text or call and say, I realize I'm being a klutz. I'm just so shy, but will you go out for pizza with me on Saturday? Don't pussyfoot around. Ask for a specific day and time. If she says yes, then say "Is 7 p.m. ok?" Then, "I'll come get you. What's your address." Then text her night before and say "See you tomorrow!" Once you get her out and you two talk, you will both relax. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lockey1995 Posted January 6, 2015 Author Share Posted January 6, 2015 Yeah i guess, thought I might have been overthinking it I was worried that I may have come off as being creepy because of my awkwardness/ shyness :/ that was my primary concern. Might leave it for 2 weeks then send a text and see what happens as I won't see her in person again I've left there now aswell as my contract has been terminated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lockey1995 Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 Your actions are confusing her. She's probably insecure also and may wonder if you're just playing with her because when she is trying to be available, you look down, etc. I think you have to ask her out. You've already told her you're shy. Maybe you just text or call and say, I realize I'm being a klutz. I'm just so shy, but will you go out for pizza with me on Saturday? Don't pussyfoot around. Ask for a specific day and time. If she says yes, then say "Is 7 p.m. ok?" Then, "I'll come get you. What's your address." Then text her night before and say "See you tomorrow!" Once you get her out and you two talk, you will both relax. Sorry for the late reply btw, wouldn't it just be weird just start off a text asking her out without saying anything else such as hey, how are you etc? Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Your actions are confusing her. She's probably insecure also and may wonder if you're just playing with her because when she is trying to be available, you look down, etc. I think you have to ask her out. You've already told her you're shy. Maybe you just text or call and say, I realize I'm being a klutz. I'm just so shy, but will you go out for pizza with me on Saturday? Don't pussyfoot around. Ask for a specific day and time. If she says yes, then say "Is 7 p.m. ok?" Then, "I'll come get you. What's your address." Then text her night before and say "See you tomorrow!" Once you get her out and you two talk, you will both relax. Agreed...cuz, while I can understand being shy and all. Cuz of my insecurities, I might think he's playing with me or it's all in my head. Plus, you don't wanna be harassing someone who's not interested in you. I've had guys be bugga-boos and I don't want some guy seeing me as a bugga-boo. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lockey1995 Posted January 8, 2015 Author Share Posted January 8, 2015 Agreed...cuz, while I can understand being shy and all. Cuz of my insecurities, I might think he's playing with me or it's all in my head. Plus, you don't wanna be harassing someone who's not interested in you. I've had guys be bugga-boos and I don't want some guy seeing me as a bugga-boo. Pretty sure she likes me, After I sent that I'm going to be honest text, it did get a little awkward but it was like she was trying not to look at me so I have no idea if she had the same feelings. But now she's left work and I won't see her in person no more I just don't know how to approach the situation without coming across as pushy. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Pretty sure she likes me, After I sent that I'm going to be honest text, it did get a little awkward but it was like she was trying not to look at me so I have no idea if she had the same feelings. But now she's left work and I won't see her in person no more I just don't know how to approach the situation without coming across as pushy. You have her tel.... You can invite her to coffee to "catch up" and see how she's doing since she left the job. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Look at it this way, since you won't be running into her anymore at work, you have zero to lose by asking her out. If you're both shy and I think you are or she would be more negative, then I think you just need to do as I said up there and go ahead and ask her out and talk later. Stop procrastinating! If she says no, you never have to see her again. And even if she does it could just be because she's that shy. Based on what you've said in original post, I think she made herself available to you to talk to her and you froze. So unfreeze and ask her out not two weeks from now but right now for this weekend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lockey1995 Posted January 8, 2015 Author Share Posted January 8, 2015 Look at it this way, since you won't be running into her anymore at work, you have zero to lose by asking her out. If you're both shy and I think you are or she would be more negative, then I think you just need to do as I said up there and go ahead and ask her out and talk later. Stop procrastinating! If she says no, you never have to see her again. And even if she does it could just be because she's that shy. Based on what you've said in original post, I think she made herself available to you to talk to her and you froze. So unfreeze and ask her out not two weeks from now but right now for this weekend. Yeah I'm just going to text hey, Do you want to go out for a coffee sometime? Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 Yeah I'm just going to text hey, Do you want to go out for a coffee sometime? Hate to be blunt, but that's a terrible idea. You need to text her specifics and without any fear. It seems to me like she likes you very much and is just waiting for you to stand up with a man's touch. Ask her out but do so in a way where its easy for her to choose, Give a time, place, and date and try to keep it light on the booze. No need for the small chitchat over text, you need substance for the date, Get rid of your nervousness, and go after what you want before its too late. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lockey1995 Posted January 8, 2015 Author Share Posted January 8, 2015 Hate to be blunt, but that's a terrible idea. You need to text her specifics and without any fear. It seems to me like she likes you very much and is just waiting for you to stand up with a man's touch. Ask her out but do so in a way where its easy for her to choose, Give a time, place, and date and try to keep it light on the booze. No need for the small chitchat over text, you need substance for the date, Get rid of your nervousness, and go after what you want before its too late. She's the same as me quiet, she's not into drinking, clubbing etc same as me aha Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lockey1995 Posted January 10, 2015 Author Share Posted January 10, 2015 Hate to be blunt, but that's a terrible idea. You need to text her specifics and without any fear. It seems to me like she likes you very much and is just waiting for you to stand up with a man's touch. Ask her out but do so in a way where its easy for her to choose, Give a time, place, and date and try to keep it light on the booze. No need for the small chitchat over text, you need substance for the date, Get rid of your nervousness, and go after what you want before its too late. Well, I did text her no reply a day after :/, be nice get walked over lol Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 Well, I did text her no reply a day after :/, be nice get walked over lol You should have called... I was gonna post that before, but I was betting you wouldn't have done it anyways. Give it a few days, call her this time. Sometimes my celphone company (a big one that I pay too much money to) delays my messages. Sometimes, if I check on something else on the phone and inadvertently hit the reminder that I have a text, I'll forget that someone texted me. In other words, text isn't a guarantee they got the message, and based on what you told us about you and her, IMO, a text was not good to do here. You should have called. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lockey1995 Posted January 10, 2015 Author Share Posted January 10, 2015 You should have called... I was gonna post that before, but I was betting you wouldn't have done it anyways. Give it a few days, call her this time. Sometimes my celphone company (a big one that I pay too much money to) delays my messages. Sometimes, if I check on something else on the phone and inadvertently hit the reminder that I have a text, I'll forget that someone texted me. In other words, text isn't a guarantee they got the message, and based on what you told us about you and her, IMO, a text was not good to do here. You should have called. She got the message, when it got a little awkward and I appologized for those texts on x mas eve, she knew about them she just said it's fine. She has the read notification turned off so you can't see when she's read them. I'm pretty sure that text where I said "I'm going to be honest here, I get a little shy sometimes but I really enjoy talking to you :)" That is what ruined it in my opinion. Again might be over thinking but I'm convinced that's what messed it up :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lockey1995 Posted January 10, 2015 Author Share Posted January 10, 2015 You should have called... I was gonna post that before, but I was betting you wouldn't have done it anyways. Give it a few days, call her this time. Sometimes my celphone company (a big one that I pay too much money to) delays my messages. Sometimes, if I check on something else on the phone and inadvertently hit the reminder that I have a text, I'll forget that someone texted me. In other words, text isn't a guarantee they got the message, and based on what you told us about you and her, IMO, a text was not good to do here. You should have called. I really couldn't call her, I'm convinced she doesn't even want to speak to me to be quite honest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lockey1995 Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 Yeah , I'm pretty sure I've ruined it ;( Link to post Share on other sites
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