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Marriage...what is it good for?


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I mean seriously though...having been married once, I know the whole thing only benefits one party more than the other. Lets just call it as it is people....who gets more pros than con from it?

 

..........8 reasons not to get married
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Lets just call it as it is people....

 

You can always tell how much a guy is getting laid... it's inversely proportionate to the number of inane threads he starts or participates in on holidays and weekends.

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You can always tell how much a guy is getting laid... it's inversely proportionate to the number of inane threads he starts or participates in on holidays and weekends.

 

 

Funny that I got some last night from a FWB that contacted me out of the blue ;) I have banged more than married people this year. Just saying

 

New year's eve will be the next

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I mean seriously though...having been married once, I know the whole thing only benefits one party more than the other. Lets just call it as it is people....who gets more pros than con from it?

 

In your marriage, I'm guessing her. But that's why your marriage ended.

 

In other marriages that are healthy and happy, both. You are speaking from your experience, not truth. My husband and I are very happy and we both benefit from the relationship in ways that you couldn't get from being single.

 

Sounds like that article was written by either a man in a bad relationship or a single man who really believes that marriage is going to ruin your life sexually and financially.

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Lernaean_Hydra

No one needs a whole list of reasons why not to get married. If you don't want to do it don't do it. If you do, then go ahead. I'll never understand why people so some strongly against other people getting married. It's their choice. Not everyone feels as if marriage is as one sided as you seem to think nor does everyone's marriage go down in flames as yours apparently did. I don't even want to get married yet the way people love to trash talk to institution seems so pathetic to me.

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The quality of a marriage depends on the quality of the people in it. Marriage is made up of people and they make it what it is.

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In your marriage, I'm guessing her. But that's why your marriage ended.

 

In other marriages that are healthy and happy, both. You are speaking from your experience, not truth. My husband and I are very happy and we both benefit from the relationship in ways that you couldn't get from being single.

 

Sounds like that article was written by either a man in a bad relationship or a single man who really believes that marriage is going to ruin your life sexually and financially.

 

 

You mean he is making all the money from the oil fields and you are just there to watch the kids? Please tell me what you have that I can't get from being single? I mean I got laid last night...did you?

 

I don't have to listen to a manipulative person, I do what I want when I want, go where I want when I want.....

 

Oh..your guess is way out to lunch, read this

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/507952-money-marriage-greed

 

Sounds like that article was written by either a man in a bad relationship or a single man who really believes that marriage is going to ruin your life sexually and financially.

 

Really...because a woman that has much to gain from a marriage than her husband should things go south, won't say this? Some people just like to project a facade, whilst others live in denial

Edited by Tayken
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Ok, again, I gather the OP has been burned somewhere, by someone, somehow, but still, I agree with the video.

 

Now, I didn't listen to all of it....just enough.

 

Again, I agree. That's why I'm single. That's why it's even hard for me to live with mum.

 

There is sort of a trade off. I mean, I have my lonely moments and I sorta get jealous/envious of chicks who got guys doing this or that for them...But, at the end of the day, I'm "content" with my situation.

 

I don't get why women just can't be less difficult. Yep, when she's around, put down the guitar - it's all about her and you must show her attention. While I'm not a guy and date guys - the pressure of having to give a guy attention all the time also wears me down. This is also why I don't have many female friendships. Women are so draining....geesh.

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To me marriage is just something that makes sense if you are living with a person and have or are going to have kids with them. It's to establish some form of serious commitment. It's also to say that both you and your partner are completely exclusive to each other.

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Rejected Rosebud

Marriage is a good idea for me. It doesn't have anything to do with when I got laid or being manipulative. We will make each others' lives better in many ways. We are complementary. :love::love:

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The quality of a marriage depends on the quality of the people in it. Marriage is made up of people and they make it what it is.

 

 

So any if you take any two people and put them in a marriage, it will work as long as they're nice? How about love, chemistry, compatibility, personal growth...

 

 

I think many people just grow apart. It's a crap shoot even in a good marriage.

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No one needs a whole list of reasons why not to get married. If you don't want to do it don't do it. If you do, then go ahead. I'll never understand why people so some strongly against other people getting married. It's their choice. Not everyone feels as if marriage is as one sided as you seem to think nor does everyone's marriage go down in flames as yours apparently did. I don't even want to get married yet the way people love to trash talk to institution seems so pathetic to me.

 

 

I think that is part of the point. People who have been through a bad marriage want to send up the red flags and warn everyone that it can ruin your life.

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Sounds like that article was written by either a man in a bad relationship or a single man who really believes that marriage is going to ruin your life sexually and financially.

 

 

And that happens every day. Don't you think men who have been burned have a right to warn other men what can happen?

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I mean seriously though...having been married once, I know the whole thing only benefits one party more than the other. Lets just call it as it is people....who gets more pros than con from it?

 

..........8 reasons not to get married

 

My Goodness, you are a broken record - and probably too young to have owned one.

 

Two can achieve more than one. It isn't rocket science.

 

No, technically, you don't have to be married to do any of the activities I'm going to list, but hopefully you get the gist.

 

There are women out there who aren't money grubbing couch potatoes.

 

If I was in a relationship/marriage with a man who has similar thougt processes...

 

1). Mortgage - if he made the same amount or close, we could have an almost mansion. Since imaginary man has similar interests to mine we would have our racquetball court and inground pool.

2). Travel - sharing the cost of hotels, and travel arrangements are usually done as a twosome.

3). Child rearing....in happy relationships, it is always better for a child to have two parents.

4). Regular, safe sex. It gets better as time goes on, the intimacy increases, the communication gets better.

5). Biologist and anthropologists would probably say this better than I am, but human beings are hard wired to be part of a tribe or family unit. As you age your roles change from being son and brother to being husband and father.

 

The bottom line is a team of two (in my similar situation) will ALWAYS out perform me as a single.

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Lernaean_Hydra
I think that is part of the point. People who have been through a bad marriage want to send up the red flags and warn everyone that it can ruin your life.

 

Sorry, it's nearly 2015. Nobody of marrying age is clueless that it can "ruin your life", that it can end badly, that it doesn't always mean "forever" or any other realities that come along with it.

 

The majority of these threads aren't about warning anyone of anything. They're about scaremongering and bitterness. The general attitude is "My marriage was a disaster and yours will be too." No exceptions.

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Ninjainpajamas

You're kind of an idiot if you get married in 2015 and then you act like..."I didn't know marriage would suck".

 

Chances are it will...that's pretty common knowledge, everyone knows that divorce rate is 50 percent...that's a huge percentage, but it feels a whole lot more than that...most people here will however end up married at some point because that's just how society and family works, and then of course likely divorced at some point as well. Even ones who think their marriage is so great it'll never end...and then the affair.

 

But even if you consider that 50 percent that we know divorced, it doesn't even take into account the other marriages that are just merely existing for the kids or other practical reasons that have little to do with love. Because it seems that a marriage that merely exists on paper constitutes as a success to many people.

 

So realistically speaking...even being generous, you've got about 25 percent properly functioning relationships...which can be by any set of standards determined by that individual...I mean I've seen people in pretty damn piss poor relationships/marriages and protest they are worth it and never leave, it doesn't necessarily mean something positive.

 

But anyway, that's not how the math would work...I'm not sure if people do a statistics on how many marriages it takes for people to get it right, but the third one seems to be more effective than the joke of the first...and the second one was more like a fine-tuning. The first seems to be the hardest one to let go, and the most idealized.

 

Ah well, the good news is you've got an unlimited number of tries...and if it works out on marriage number 100, you can always say marriage worked for you.

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most_distant_galaxy

Why would I marry?

 

> It's a way to show to an awesome man that he is so awesome that I want to commit myself to him in public

> I would like to have a family the "traditional" way

> Because deep inside I'm a bit traditional

 

I would not be in it for financial benefits since I have a bachelor's and a master's degree. ;)

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Seems like men can get a pretty big benefit from marriage - assuming they choose whom they marry rationally. If you don't know your partner or yourself very well, choose someone based primarily on looks, don't have good communication skills, don't set normal boundaries so you build up resentment (i.e. become a doormat), or push others' boundaries (i.e. become abusive to your spouse), it probably won't work out well though.

 

Science points to a very easy way to be happier, have less stress, reduce your risk of dying from cancer and heart disease, and potentially live longer: Simply get married. Research overwhelmingly shows that married men are both mentally and physically healthier than single guys and, as a result, tend to outlive them.

 

"The differentials between married and unmarried men are pretty remarkable in terms of overall health and life expectancy," says Susan Brown, co-director of the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University in Ohio.

 

Here's the proof: Last year, Harvard University researchers found that married people were significantly more likely than unwed folks to detect prostate, lung, colorectal, and other forms of cancer in their early stages and to get treatment for the disease. The study also showed that married people were much less likely than singles to die of cancer.

 

Similar results have been found for heart disease – the number-one killer of American men. Cardiologists at New York University's Langone Medical Center analyzed data from more than 3.5 million people nationwide and learned that, independent of other cardiovascular risk factors, married people age 50 and younger had a 12 percent less chance of developing any type of vascular disease than their unwed counterparts. Another large study found that men with wives were 46 percent less likely to die of heart disease than single guys – also after taking into consideration diabetes, smoking, blood pressure, obesity, and other major risk factors.

 

Studies also show that married people are happier and experience less stress – both of which play a big role in maintaining whole-body health. "Stress and depression undermine psychological health, which spills over to physical health," says Brown.

Read more: Does Marriage Help You Live Longer? - MensJournal.com

Edited by lollipopspot
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thefooloftheyear

Everything isnt great, but that doesnt mean one has to shyt on the institution....I know its cliche, but if you do find the right type of person, the union of those two people can create a very special type of unit or team...

 

Over the holidays, I saw several couples in my own family, married for several decades with kids etc, and yet the two cant keep their hands off each other, stare at each other loviingly, arm around each other etc, and you can obviously see that the chemistry is still there-even after being through the wars-so to speak.....Its very nice and something that I think most humans strive for...

 

No disrespect to anyone, but on a site like this, asking a question like what the OP posted is like going to an AA meeting as asking if there is any enjoyment to a sober life..

 

TFY

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I mean seriously though...having been married once, I know the whole thing only benefits one party more than the other. Lets just call it as it is people....who gets more pros than con from it?

 

..........8 reasons not to get married

 

Don’t do something you don’t want to do. Be happy- or at least content- with your own choices for your own life. I would think that single people who don't want marriage would be very happy people.

 

Personally, I don’t think that there’s a contest over who is getting more or benefitting more in a relationship between two people who value marriage and each other. Both give and both appreciate the benefits they receive.

 

The quality of a marriage depends on the quality of the people in it. Marriage is made up of people and they make it what it is.

 

Well said.

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I truly am unconcerned about who wants to get married from who doesn't.

 

If you don't like marriage, don't get married. No one is required to.

 

Other people marrying doesn't affect your life. You can decline the invite to their wedding if you feel strongly and tell them personally it's stupid...but besides that *shrug*.

 

Marriage is what you make it, like any other relationship, and some people have great ones and some don't, and it's largely about their upbringing, their own issues, beliefs, mindset, relationship skills and the rest and not that marriage itself is some looming monster that does something to them.

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And that happens every day. Don't you think men who have been burned have a right to warn other men what can happen?

 

I think the wise man who has been burned will know the difference between warning and bitter, jaded, crap that really indicates he hasn't done any personal work to grow and heal.

 

In other words, a grown up man doesn't have to bash women and cloak it in some "warning" crap.

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No one needs a whole list of reasons why not to get married. If you don't want to do it don't do it. If you do, then go ahead. I'll never understand why people so some strongly against other people getting married. It's their choice. Not everyone feels as if marriage is as one sided as you seem to think nor does everyone's marriage go down in flames as yours apparently did. I don't even want to get married yet the way people love to trash talk to institution seems so pathetic to me.

 

Ditto.

 

I know a few on the board who had bad marriages and now come to decry it altogether for everyone and I think it's myopic.

 

In any case I'm always unsure of what people who disdain marriage disdain really. Is it the legal aspect or is it the idea of any couple living together and being together long term and raising a family? If someone doesn't get married legally but does EVERYTHING else, is this as offensive? If not, why?

 

I mean...the thing is, for me, if I'm gonna live with a man, have his children and the rest might as well be married, as doing all of that without it, how is it any better? I at least feel like I know what to do when we break up a marriage but breaking up a longterm unmarried relationship with joint stuff and kids just the same seems like a beast with a lot more ambiguities.

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Personally I think the family unit is the most important unit of society. It's a foundation stone of society. The marriage of two adults is what binds it. Without that unity kids struggle to get the stability and balance they need to become healthy, capable, responsible, self sufficient adults that can create the successful marriages needed to raise the next generation. If marriages fail you eventually end up with a bunch of incomplete, unbalanced, selfish, emotionally and mentally screwed up adult children who can't abide by each other in a manner that provides a balanced, stable home for their own children. Society starts to crumble.

 

So to answer the question "What is marriage good for?". It's the glue that binds society together.

 

Having said that, and as much as I hate to say it, in today's world marriage opens a man up to all kinds risk and abuse with very little security or protection. You can have your kids taken from you, lose your home, lose everything you've worked for and even be thrown in prison on the whim and word of your wife. If you land a good wife marriage will be the best thing you ever did. If you get stuck with an unpleasant one your exit is going to be painful, expensive and damaging. So you should take your time, think very carefully and not allow yourself to be rushed into it because you're risking all on toss of a coin odds.

Edited by Snaggletooth
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