SingleGirl21 Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 I've been working with a guy for four years - we've become really close over that time and had the occasional secret kiss at work parties. We would text most days and be there for each other through thick and thin. I should mention he is Muslim so a relationship / sex before marriage is technically forbidden, however we've kept growing closer and recently things did develop and we started sleeping together. Everything has been okay and he stayed at my house over the weekend and mentioned things like he would be with me if he could and if I was Muslim he would want to marry me etc.. Now he's decided that he should be more focussed on his religion and said he wants to stop the sex side of things but still wants to see me / take me out and speak to me like before. I feel really hurt at this and can't understand how things could change in the space of a couple of days. I'm not ready to stop the arrangement and if anything I'm becoming more involved. I'm really struggling now at work to be okay with him, and Ive barely spoken to him on messages - said I want space. He's tried texting me tonight and wants to see me tomorrow after work to talk. I don't want to lose what we had but I don't see how we can go back to how we were before. I'm uoset he can easily go back to friends despite saying those other things at the weekend. Very confused I realise I shouldn't have got involved in the first place but just need some kind words and advice please... Link to post Share on other sites
NSA SEX Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 u should just have a male friend just for sex and stop all bs best way.xx:love: Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 These words are probably not very kind, but they are good advice: Look before you leap. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Bull poopy... A Muslim "male" (not the females) can marry outside of their religion...the "caveat" if you will, is that they are to marry a "religious/pious" woman. Sorry, but seems like you were used. Don't feel bad, lots of guys - regardless of religion - have women they mess around with till and/or while they court the women they really wanna marry (the "nice" girls and/or the ones giving him blue balls). So, lesson learned, don't poop where you eat (mess with people you work with), cuz most of the time the RL will end and when it does, it can get complicated in the workplace. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 (edited) i had a similar situation. dated a co-worker (he was muslim) and it lasted 2+ years. a lot of muslim families are westernized and have no problem with the sons dating outside the religion. but if he's an only son, or expected to marry, then it can't realistically go anywhere with you. it'd just be sex, and lots of them (my ex included) have absolutely no problem with multiple women and girlfriends, you are rarely the only one. that being said, i had to transfer to another department/building when we broke up. you can't pursue something that someone else doesn't want and work relationships... just so wrong. start exploring other options for yourself in the workplace (like transfers, etc.) because no matter how much of a "friendship" you had before it'll be near to impossible to continue working together and salvage something. you're going to be in a mess if you let it go on, so it's best to end it and start looking for options/ways out. Edited December 19, 2014 by newmoon Link to post Share on other sites
melodicintention Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Very confused I realise I shouldn't have got involved in the first place but just need some kind words and advice please... What advice do you need, sounds like you already gave it to yourself. You realize you shouldn't have gotten involved, hence that means you should uninvolve yourself. Bam. You were already the master of your own fate all along! Link to post Share on other sites
carly75 Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Do the right thing that will make you comfortable and happy Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 He has totally downgraded you in his mind because you had "just sex" with him. Friends with benefits doesn't usually work out well for the woman, and doing it at work is sheer bafoonery. Sorry you're hurt. Hope you can see how this was inevitable to go wrong. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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