ponchsox Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 I haven't been with a woman in 6 months and I'm striking out getting second dates on Match. Should I be stressing out that I can't get a girlfriend? I'm afraid that once I hit 40 I won't be able to get a young attractive female. My confidence is shot because I'm balding. I have a good job, a good appearance besides being bald, and I'm nice and funny. Am I toast? It seems women only want really good looking guys nowadays? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 How young are you trying to date? That is most likely your problem. Hot 20 somethings do not want to date middle aged men. Women 35-50 are probably dying to go out with you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ponchsox Posted November 30, 2014 Author Share Posted November 30, 2014 How young are you trying to date? That is most likely your problem. Hot 20 somethings do not want to date middle aged men. Women 35-50 are probably dying to go out with you. My Match range was 25-38. My membership just ended and I didn't renew. Had no problem getting first dates with attractive women, but no bueno for a second date. And I'm very outgoing. I can make conversation with any stranger. I really think it's because I'm physically unattractive. I'm 6"1 210. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 I'm afraid that once I hit 40 I won't be able to get a young attractive female. O please.....count yourself lucky based on the caliber of women out there. Balding is not an end it all all if you actually take step to curb it or even better shave your head. What you don't want is jump into a relationship just for the sake of it, only to find you have given up your freedom, and now under the spell of Delilah. You have no child support to pay right now which is good, and you are able to put something away for a good retirement. Most women who don't work, work part-time, or have no good career, will rely on state pension or the pension of some guy who they are able to convince to take them and their baggage on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ponchsox Posted November 30, 2014 Author Share Posted November 30, 2014 O please.....count yourself lucky based on the caliber of women out there. Balding is not an end it all all if you actually take step to curb it or even better shave your head. What you don't want is jump into a relationship just for the sake of it, only to find you have given up your freedom, and now under the spell of Delilah. You have no child support to pay right now which is good, and you are able to put something away for a good retirement. Most women who don't work, work part-time, or have no good career, will rely on state pension or the pension of some guy who they are able to convince to take them and their baggage on. I'm about 40% bald. I have a bald spot on the back of my head. I have a fade cut and have decent amount of hair up top. You're saying shaving would be more attractive to women? I'm terrified that my face would look hideous with a shaved head. Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Most women who don't work, work part-time, or have no good career, will rely on state pension or the pension of some guy who they are able to convince to take them and their baggage on. Based on your gut feeling, your mates' tells of woe (or yours), carefully chosen literature or thin air? Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 I'm about 40% bald. I have a bald spot on the back of my head. I have a fade cut and have decent amount of hair up top. You're saying shaving would be more attractive to women? I'm terrified that my face would look hideous with a shaved head. Don't be silly. You won't be the first or last guy/man to be bald, and surely you can find a person that somewhat looks like you and is bald e.g. singer/movie star/ athlete/etc and consider this in how you will look. You will be surprised at how many women prefer a bald man to one with visible hair loss. Just like some women might not like hair loss / short hair....I can't stand a woman who is pretending to be something they are not i.e. peroxide Blonde, coloured hair, boob jobs and other implants Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 My Match range was 25-38. My membership just ended and I didn't renew. Had no problem getting first dates with attractive women, but no bueno for a second date. And I'm very outgoing. I can make conversation with any stranger. I really think it's because I'm physically unattractive. I'm 6"1 210. Your match range is far too young for you, if you consider yourself physically unattractive. Younger women may not see 40 as an issue, but they do not want to look like they are dating their dad, they usually want super young looking 40 year olds. Is your pic a decent representation of what you actually look like IRL? Try upping the age limit and choose more on personality and interests than looks, and see if you have more success with second dates. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 My Match range was 25-38. My membership just ended and I didn't renew. Had no problem getting first dates with attractive women, but no bueno for a second date. And I'm very outgoing. I can make conversation with any stranger. I really think it's because I'm physically unattractive. I'm 6"1 210. You're 38 and you want to date a 25 year old? I personally use a maximum of 10 year age difference, so you are probably shooting for too young. Young girls care a lot about physical looks. Women that are in their late 20s and beyond, are more forgiving. They care about personality. Also how come the oldest you want to date is your age? Is a woman that is a few years older than you a deal breaker? Concerning your dates, do you talk a lot about yourself? About your accomplishments? Or do you also engage the woman and get to know her too? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ponchsox Posted November 30, 2014 Author Share Posted November 30, 2014 Your match range is far too young for you, if you consider yourself physically unattractive. Younger women may not see 40 as an issue, but they do not want to look like they are dating their dad, they usually want super young looking 40 year olds. Is your pic a decent representation of what you actually look like IRL? Try upping the age limit and choose more on personality and interests than looks, and see if you have more success with second dates. Good suggestion. I do look young for 38, even despite the balding. I just have a problem getting down on myself when I can't find someone. It should be much easier than this to find someone compatible. I've been very successful and blessed in my life with a good education, career, home ownership, but yet I keep striking out in this facet of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Had no problem getting first dates with attractive women, but no bueno for a second date. And I'm very outgoing. I can make conversation with any stranger. I really think it's because I'm physically unattractive. I'm 6"1 210. There's a disconnect somewhere. You get a 1st date based on looks. You get a 2nd date based on personality / compatibility. Did you come on too strong? Did you fail to let her talk / be interested in her? Did you let your insecurities about your looks come out? Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 There's a disconnect somewhere. You get a 1st date based on looks. You get a 2nd date based on personality / compatibility. Did you come on too strong? Did you fail to let her talk / be interested in her? Did you let your insecurities about your looks come out? Was going to point this out as well. If looks were his issue, then he wouldn't be getting first dates. So it's something else. Op, is your profile an accurate representation of yourself? You say you're funny, are you? Something is going wrong on the dates. Figure that out and you'll solve your problems. And why are you so fixated on getting a young attractive girl? What's wrong with someone closer to your age? You will be hard pressed to find anyone under 30 who will want to date a 38 year old. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 You say on another thread you have turned into a "bitter woman hater", so perhaps that is your answer. Once bitten, twice shy we all get that. BUT I guess, you cannot hide your misogynist feelings and your dates will sense that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 I'm about 40% bald. I have a bald spot on the back of my head. I have a fade cut and have decent amount of hair up top. You're saying shaving would be more attractive to women? I'm terrified that my face would look hideous with a shaved head. I'm 50 and shaved bald. Here are some true words - bald is better than balding. Balding is something disfiguring that happens to you and generally looks unattractive and is the but of jokes (women put down balding men like men put down fat women) However taking a razor and shaving your head bald is an intentional act and there for is a "style." Like any style some people will like it and some won't. Some will even hate it but some will really like it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 I'm 50 and shaved bald. Here are some true words - bald is better than balding. Balding is something disfiguring that happens to you and generally looks unattractive and is the but of jokes (women put down balding men like men put down fat women) However taking a razor and shaving your head bald is an intentional act and there for is a "style." Like any style some people will like it and some won't. Some will even hate it but some will really like it. both don't rock my world, but bald is much better than balding, yep. but he seems to have a few issues, this is only one. Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 but he seems to have a few issues, this is only one. I can't help him with the others. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ponchsox Posted November 30, 2014 Author Share Posted November 30, 2014 both don't rock my world, but bald is much better than balding, yep. but he seems to have a few issues, this is only one. Yep, I'm a mess Link to post Share on other sites
smg15 Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 I haven't been with a woman in 6 months and I'm striking out getting second dates on Match. Should I be stressing out that I can't get a girlfriend? I'm afraid that once I hit 40 I won't be able to get a young attractive female. My confidence is shot because I'm balding. I have a good job, a good appearance besides being bald, and I'm nice and funny. Am I toast? It seems women only want really good looking guys nowadays? At 40 I think your age range should be 29 to 40. Not sure how young you wanted her to be Link to post Share on other sites
smg15 Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 both don't rock my world, but bald is much better than balding, yep. but he seems to have a few issues, this is only one. not in all cases Im balding but I can't shave it all off because of a brain surgery I had when I was a baby. If I shaved it all off the operation scare would still be noticeable and won't look like the rest of my head. So I am thankful I have nice hair to kind of lay across the balding area Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 I think the age range should be a bit more realistic 35-45, as he is ATM unsuccessful in attracting any women to go on second dates with him. Whether we like it or not we tend to interact better with our own peer group and so a bit more down to earth, relaxed, dating with people he has something in common with, may stand him in good stead, as opposed to "reaching for the stars" with young, hot, attractive women who may see him as a bit of relic. Sorry OP, but you get my point surely? Once confident of being able to attract someone, then he can be a bit more choosy over ages and perceived attractiveness. Link to post Share on other sites
smg15 Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 I think the age range should be a bit more realistic 35-45, as he is ATM unsuccessful in attracting any women to go on second dates with him. Whether we like it or not we tend to interact better with our own peer group and so a bit more down to earth, relaxed, dating with people he has something in common with, may stand him in good stead, as opposed to "reaching for the stars" with young, hot, attractive women who may see him as a bit of relic. Sorry OP, but you get my point surely? Once confident of being able to attract someone, then he can be a bit more choosy over ages and perceived attractiveness. I stop at my age, 39 and go down about 7 to 8 years. So I guess 45 would be my range until Im 44 if Im still single lol Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 I agree with posters suggesting you change your age limit I'm 25 and would not date a 38 year old. Simply because we are likely in different places in life. We grew up in different decades, are part of different generations. It would be a bit of a culture disconnect is all. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smg15 Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 I agree with posters suggesting you change your age limit I'm 25 and would not date a 38 year old. Simply because we are likely in different places in life. We grew up in different decades, are part of different generations. It would be a bit of a culture disconnect is all. Yeah I agree 25 maybe too young but Im not going to turn her down if she sends this 39 year old a message first lol Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 I agree with posters suggesting you change your age limit I'm 25 and would not date a 38 year old. Simply because we are likely in different places in life. We grew up in different decades, are part of different generations. It would be a bit of a culture disconnect is all. Exactly, and why he needs to get real here, and date within 5 years of his own age. For some reason I thought he was 40 so 38 = age range 33-43. Link to post Share on other sites
smg15 Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Exactly, and why he needs to get real here, and date within 5 years of his own age. For some reason I thought he was 40 so 38 = age range 33-43. I may have to date 40-44 because I made a decision I don't want kids so it's no point in wasting anyone's time who is 30-35 without kids and single 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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