Slut and friendzone

[Maleficent]

So I have a friend on Facebook who posted this little ditty and I thought I'd use it to start a discussion on here because it's two words I see here con.stan.tly.

 

'Slut' is attacking women for their right to say yes

'Friendzone' is attacking women for their right to say no

and 'Bitch' is attacking women for their right to call you on it.

 

Thoughts? Opinions? Rants?

[central]

But yes, I think that ditty captures the mindset of (too) many men.

Edited November 26, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed off topic portion

[PegNosePete]

I think context has very much to do with the use of most words in the English language. These 3 are no exceptions.

 

It's meaningless to generalize like this.

[salparadise]

Sometimes, sure. But then there are times... The ditty attempts to paint women as victims regardless of how apropos a word may be. Not surprised the source was facebook. I prefer idioms that seek truth rather than divisiveness.

[Gloria25]

Sometimes, sure. But then there are times... The ditty attempts to paint women as victims regardless of how apropos a word may be. Not surprised the source was facebook. I prefer idioms that seek truth rather than divisiveness.

 

Thank you ^^

 

Didn't some females embark a campaign to also ban the word "bossy"?

 

Why Stop At Banning The Word 'Bossy' - How About Outlawing 'Princess' and 'Diva' and 'Drama Queen'? | Bill Coles

 

Funny how some people want "equality" yet want to spin the "victim" role at every chance they get.

[Maleficent]

Great answers peeps!

 

Let’s see if I can successfully answer everyone in one Post.

 

 

I think context has very much to do with the use of most words in the English language. These 3 are no exceptions

There is a context. It’s relationships and sex.

 

Sometimes, sure. But then there are times... The ditty attempts to paint women as victims regardless of how apropos a word may be. Not surprised the source was facebook. I prefer idioms that seek truth rather than divisiveness

I am not painting women as victims regardless. I am using three words and how they are used in a very specific context (very often on this very board)

 

Funny how some people want "equality" yet want to spin the "victim" role at every chance they get.

This isn’t about ‘equality’ but respect of personal choices. Edited November 26, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[d0nnivain]

It's clever . . might not be universally true (what is?) but it has some merit.

[Frank2thepoint]

'Slut' is attacking women for their right to say yes

 

I like having sex with a woman. So the douchebags that have a problem with a woman saying "yes", can pass her onto me. I'll appreciate her.

[Maleficent]

Thank you ^^

 

Didn't some females embark a campaign to also ban the word "bossy"?

 

Why Stop At Banning The Word 'Bossy' - How About Outlawing 'Princess' and 'Diva' and 'Drama Queen'?*|*Bill Coles

 

Banning words will bring nothing. We will simply find new words to describe behaviour we don't like and/or agree with.

I would love these women spend their energies on more important feminist issues...Like with slut, friendzone and bitch, the idea is to make people understand why they are using it and why it should maybe not be used in certain contexts.

 

And then we have that time 4chan users got together to vote for 'feminist' in time's survey a few weeks ago.

[PegNosePete]

There is a context. It’s relationships and sex.

That's a very broad context. I mean the individual context of that particular usage of the word. I can certainly think of scenarios within the relationships and sex genre where each of those words could be used, without the underlying implications that you quote.

 

It's a generalization, and like most generalizations is true in some cases but not others. Basically I'm saying what salparadise said but he said it better

[Maleficent]

I like having sex with a woman. So the douchebags that have a problem with a woman saying "yes", can pass her onto me. I'll appreciate her.

 

I love this! I usually try to bring up slutshaming early in a relationship. Once I had a date with a guy who went on and on about how women were sluts for having sex too early or with a certain number of men before him.

 

guess who did not get laid that night (or any other night for that matter - at least not by me)?

[central]

'Slut' is attacking women for their right to say yes

'Friendzone' is attacking women for their right to say no

and 'Bitch' is attacking women for their right to call you on it.

 

I suppose some/many people use these as an attack. However, they can also be shorthand for facts about behavior.

 

Friendzone is innocuous in any context, IMO. There are many women in my friendzone, for example, as I am in theirs - and sometimes I or they may want something more than is available. That's normal, and calling it being the friendzone is not an attack.

 

I use "slut" as a term of endearment. My wife loves sex and isn't afraid to act on it. She's my favorite slut, and she doesn't take offense - she's proud of her sexuality. If you're proud of your behavior, someone else's label isn't going to matter to you IMO - unless you do harbor some defensiveness or shame and don't want to hear it. Just the same, it is judgmental and often used to hurt rather than describe - I'd rather no-one use it in that context.

 

In general, I don't think "bitch" is used to call women on their choice or right to choose, but on HOW they express their opinion. I am always good with a simple No or Not interested, thanks, but a bitch will say F* off, you loser - they earn the title in that case.

Edited November 26, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Maleficent]

That's a very broad context. I mean the individual context of that particular usage of the word. I can certainly think of scenarios within the relationships and sex genre where each of those words could be used, without the underlying implications that you quote.

 

It's a generalization, and like most generalizations is true in some cases but not others. Basically I'm saying what salparadise said but he said it better

 

I can agree on that for the word bitch. But slut and friendzone? Can you specify? The only time I ever hear the word 'slut' is to talk about a woman who has 'too much sex' and friendzone when a woman has no interest in a ma (therefore, no sex)

...

[PegNosePete]

I can agree on that for the word bitch. But slut and friendzone? Can you specify?

A woman who says "I put him in my friendzone because I don't fancy him" - is she attacking women for their right to say no? Clearly not.

 

A woman who says to her husband "I can't believe you slept with that slut" - is she attacking women for their right to say yes? No, she is attacking the OW for sleeping with her husband.

[RedRobin]

I love this! I usually try to bring up slutshaming early in a relationship. Once I had a date with a guy who went on and on about how women were sluts for having sex too early or with a certain number of men before him.

 

guess who did not get laid that night (or any other night for that matter - at least not by me)?

 

 

I do too... bring up the topic of slut shaming early in a relationship... Mostly to find out if the guy is a hypocrite.

 

 

Lots of guys have double standards when it comes to their own sexuality vs women's sexuality.

 

 

I would never have sex with a man who had double standards... I also do my best not to get involved with men who have a habit of early sex or are ok with casual sex.

 

 

You can have values and seek out similar without calling people names though. Although, I don't always succeed at that. Sometimes the 'name' fits. Like they say... If it weren't for valid stereotypes, there wouldn't be prejudice.

[Revolver]

My older sister said when I was younger that it's mostly women calling other women that word and overtime I realize she was right

[Maleficent]

A woman who says "I put him in my friendzone because I don't fancy him" - is she attacking women for their right to say no? Clearly not.

 

A woman who says to her husband "I can't believe you slept with that slut" - is she attacking women for their right to say yes? No, she is attacking the OW for sleeping with her husband.

 

I'll agree with the first one.

 

But if a women says 'I can't believe you slept with that slut' then, yes, she is attacking her right to say yes to having sex.. The fact the context involves infidelity is a moral issue but technically, the OW has the 'right' to say yes.

[Maleficent]

My older sister said when I was younger that it's mostly women calling other women that word and overtime I realize she was right

 

And your point is? I didn't not specify who the 'attackers' were. You assumed I meant men.

[Maleficent]

 

You can have values and seek out similar without calling people names though. Although, I don't always succeed at that.

 

Eerrr don't we all?

lol

[salparadise]

I am not painting women as victims regardless. I am using three words and how they are used in a very specific context (very often on this very board)

 

I disagree, the original post does not provide any context. It generalizes broadly and implies that the use of these words is always unfair and inaccurate, thereby victimizing women. It's not an all or nothing, black or white deal.

 

I didn't realize you were invested. I though you were throwing this out as some ridiculous garbage you found on facebook.

[Maleficent]

I disagree, the original post does not provide any context. It generalizes broadly and implies that the use of these words is always unfair and inaccurate, thereby victimizing women. It's not an all or nothing, black or white deal.

 

I didn't realize you were invested. I though you were throwing this out as some ridiculous garbage you found on facebook.

 

I posted this to start a discussion not push an agenda in the first post.

I did not post this to play the victim, I asked for comments, even rants and this is what is happening.

Of course it's not an all or nothing deal. It's the whole point of discussing it.

 

We don't see the world as it is, we see the world as we are. (Anais Nin)

 

If you think it's some ridiculous garbage found on facebook, you will think I was throwing this out as some ridiculous garbage I found on facebook.

[PegNosePete]

But if a women says 'I can't believe you slept with that slut' then, yes, she is attacking her right to say yes to having sex.. The fact the context involves infidelity is a moral issue but technically, the OW has the 'right' to say yes.

I disagree, she's not attacking the woman at all. She is insulting the woman in order to attack her husband.

 

And even if she says it to the woman, she's not attacking her right to say yes: she's attacking her moral values for saying yes to a married man.

[Robert]

For those of you that have no intention of posting about the topic then please move on to another thread, if you choose to post then let's read the topic and make your posts in the general area of the topic, thanks

Edited November 26, 2014 by Robert

[Maleficent]

I disagree, she's not attacking the woman at all. She is insulting the woman in order to attack her husband.

 

And even if she says it to the woman, she's not attacking her right to say yes: she's attacking her moral values for saying yes to a married man.

 

Yeah you're basically saying the same thing as me in different words and stretching out the situation. In the end, the OW is still called a slut for having sex.

 

Let's stretch this further and say maybe the husband did not tell the other woman he was married. Is she still a slut?

[PegNosePete]

Yeah you're basically saying the same thing as me in different words and stretching out the situation. In the end, the OW is still called a slut for having sex.

 

Let's stretch this further and say maybe the husband did not tell the other woman he was married. Is she still a slut?

No she's not. The quote in the original post is saying that any usage of the word "slut", is making an attack against the OW's right to say yes. But that is not true in this situation. The wife is calling her a slut as an attack against her morality (or lack thereof). Her "right to say yes" is never in question.

 

Whether she "is" a slut or not is irrelevant, it's the intent behind the wife's usage of the word that's being debated here. Which is what the OP is about, after all.