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I spilled my crush's drink today


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Well today was interesting at work. Actually just a normal shift going about my business and resolving to stay out of my crush's way when I can. We are pretty much back to not speaking to each other unless it is necessary.

 

Unfortunately it became necessary to communicate with her after spilling her drink by accident in the employee lunch room freezer. First I had to be sure that was her drink and I went and asked her because I have a pretty good idea of the kind of styrofoam cups she drinks out of. It is a drink she always gets at the gas station up the street which is a 2 minute walk.

 

So after spilling the drink I immediately rushed to clean up the mess and then go ask her if this was her drink. I showed her the cup and it was still 1/3 full. I estimated it was 3/4 full before I knocked it over.

 

So when I asked her she said yes and I told her what happened and said I will run over to the gas station and get a refill for her and pay for it myself. It was probably like 2 bucks. So she was real nice and smiled and said to me it is ok and don't worry about it. I asked if she was sure because it really is no trouble and she insisted don't worry about it and that it is ok. I even showed her how much was left after the spill. She said she wasn't going to drink it all anyway.

 

Okay so being the detective that I am it is time to look at this objectively. Was her declining my offer to reimburse her a way for her to signal to me that she is not interested in me? Perhaps she saw what I was doing as a signal that I have a crush on her and was looking for an excuse to make contact with her.

 

But in this situation I really had no choice but to tell her about the accident. That's just the honorable thing to do. I could have not told her about it and she would not have known it was me who spilled it. There were no other witnesses. I was alone in the break room. If I didn't tell her about it then that would mean I can't be trusted to admit a mistake when I make one.

 

I would have done the same thing if it was another coworker's drink I spilled or some other accident. Most of us were raised to make reimbursement if we spill or damage someone's items by accident.

 

The other possibility is that the dollar amount of the damage was so small that she didn't feel it was worth me going over up the street to pay for a refill. But as I said it is only a 2 minute walk to do it.

 

Throughout the rest of the shift I would check her out to see if she went and got the refill herself. She never did. Maybe she did after she left work or maybe not.

 

The third possibility is that she may have a crush on me and as a result she is willing to execute more forgiveness towards mistakes I make. I am not all that hopeful about this one because again the dollar amount of damage is so small. Had it been something more moderate like 15-20 bucks worth of damage and if she forgave me anyway then that would be a stronger indication that she has a crush on me and therefore being willing to forgive me more than someone else who did the damage.

 

I mean I still have a crush on her but it isn't as high of a priority as before in my mind whether we go out or not. However if the situation was reversed and she dropped or spilled a drink of mine I would probably insist to her don't worry about it and maybe come up with an excuse like "I was about to throw it away anyway" because out of my high interest in her I don't want her to be inconvenienced in any way.

 

However I can't assume that she let it go for crush reasons just because I would have.

 

So what do you think? If a coworker spilled your drink and the place you got it from is just a 2 minute walk would you take them up on their offer to go and buy you a refill? If you had a crush on someone would you be more forgiving of the accident? What's your take?

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Lernaean_Hydra
Okay so being the detective that I am it is time to look at this objectively. Was her declining my offer to reimburse her a way for her to signal to me that she is not interested in me? Perhaps she saw what I was doing as a signal that I have a crush on her and was looking for an excuse to make contact with her.

 

Oh my god. Or, or, OR she saw it as too much trouble than it was worth! Yes it was a short walk and yes it was only a few bucks but it was an accident. Plus she already said she was unlikely to have finished the whole thing anyway.

 

So what do you think? If a coworker spilled your drink and the place you got it from is just a 2 minute walk would you take them up on their offer to go and buy you a refill? If you had a crush on someone would you be more forgiving of the accident? What's your take?

 

No I wouldn't take them up on their offer, I would feel soooo petty and ridiculous sending them to go fetch me a new drink. My take? You're reading way too much into things.

 

It's funny though, a few days ago you said something along the lines of how you had put this crush of yours out of your mind and stopped thinking about her. And yet...

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Are we talking a 2 minute walk at a brisk pace or more of a leisurely stroll? Are there any pedestrian crosswalks that you might need to wait at that would increase the travel time? There's also the possibility that you'll have to wait in line at the gas station. That's really stacking on the seconds.

 

Then you have to factor in the cost of the drink, inflation, upcoming Federal Reserve fiscal policy, her wage plus benefits vis-a-vis yours, municipal, state and federal taxes, terrorism, lawyer fees, the stock market, what Jesus would do, the moon's orbital gravity and all sorts of other critical factors.

 

But I'm willing to put aside my weekend and help you crunch some numbers. Let's put a pot of coffee on and figure this one out.

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90% of the time when I go to that gas station there is no line. 2 minute walk at a leisurely stroll and less than that if I am brisk walking. No cross traffic.

 

I mean if this was a drink she bought somewhere far away I wouldn't go get it but I would still reimburse her the cost for the drink plus a surcharge for the amount of gas she would burn to go out of her way to get a new drink. I mean that's just how I was raised.

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What drink is she getting at the gas station that she puts in a styrofoam container then stores in the lunchroom freezer?

 

Glycerol?

 

How did she seem towards the end of the day? Was she showing any signs of overheating? If so, it's unlikely that she went for a refill, though she may have been able to make it through the rest of the day on water.

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Oh my god. Or, or, OR she saw it as too much trouble than it was worth! Yes it was a short walk and yes it was only a few bucks but it was an accident. Plus she already said she was unlikely to have finished the whole thing anyway.

 

 

 

No I wouldn't take them up on their offer, I would feel soooo petty and ridiculous sending them to go fetch me a new drink. My take? You're reading way too much into things.

 

It's funny though, a few days ago you said something along the lines of how you had put this crush of yours out of your mind and stopped thinking about her. And yet...

 

I didn't say I stopped thinking about her. I said I don't think about her as much as before. Big difference. I wouldn't be talking about her now if I had not spilled her drink.

 

Her saying that she would not have finished it could have just been an excuse to make me feel better about the accident.

 

Besides the drink was just fresh and only 1/2 an hour old. I remember when she came into work with a drink and approximately half an hour later was when I took my break and went to grab something in the freezer and that's when the accident happened.

 

She put her drink in the freezer to speed up cooling it off because there wasn't any ice available. It is not like the drink had been sitting there for hours or days and almost empty. It was 3/4 of the way full. That's a pretty big deal to have a fresh drink that is 3/4 of the way full and then spill it down to 1/3 full. That is a fairly big spill. I also know it was a big spill because it took me 12-15 minutes to clean it up. That cup was a large size too.

Edited by Darren2013
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How big of a spill was it? If it was over one quart and within 25 feet of a stream, body of water or otherwise specified riparian zone then you'll need to report it to the spill response branch of the state environmental department.

 

Putting the cup in the freezer seemed pretty irresponsible on her part. What kind of freezer was it? Just the typical top-mount swing door freezer or a sliding bottom drawer freezer? Either way, no one should expect to go into a freezer fearing the risk of a spill. Maybe you should take this one to HR. After all, you did spend 15 minutes cleaning up for what was ultimately her error. She should have known better. If you hadn't spilled the drink someone else would have. It's only by miracle that you were able to prevent a full loss.

 

I think by reporting this incident to the authorities you will show to her that you are a responsible person. Additionally, by allowing reprimand to be dispensed by a higher power you are also showing her that you believe in justice. Nothing gets a woman excited more than reasoned action and justice.

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:confused:

 

Doesn't it make your head hurt to read into these small insignificant things?

 

I don't think it's that deep.

 

You are most likely reading WAY more into it than she ever thought.

 

You spilled her drink offered a new one and she said no most likely with no ulterior motive but said no because she doesn't care THAT much about getting a new drink and doesn't want you to go out of your way cause it's not that serious. I would have said the same if a coworker spilled my drink. I might be secretly annoyed that they spilled it but unless it was something they could just grab down the hall or from the vending machine I wouldn't let them get me a new one neither would I want them to reimburse me, as drinks are pretty cheap and I feel it would be tacky to accept money for such a small thing which was an accident.

Edited by MissBee
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:confused:

 

Doesn't it make your head hurt to read into these small insignificant things?

 

I don't think it's that deep.

 

You are most likely reading WAY more into it than she ever thought.

 

You spilled her drink offered a new one and she said no most likely with no ulterior motive but said no because she doesn't care THAT much about getting a new drink and doesn't want you to go out of your way cause it's not that serious. I would have said the same if a coworker spilled my drink. I might be secretly annoyed that they spilled it but unless it was something they could just grab down the hall or from the vending machine I wouldn't let them get me a new one neither would I want them to reimburse me, as drinks are pretty cheap and I feel it would be tacky to accept money for such a small thing which was an accident.

 

 

So is this a signal of disinterest then or is this just neutral?

 

Either way it is a sign that she cares about me enough to not want me to inconvenience myself. If it is a signal of disinterest then it shows she cares enough about me to not lead me on. But my offer of reimbursement wasn't with a flirtatious gesture motive. I didn't have an ulterior motive either because again I would have done this for any of my coworkers. It is such a small task but the small things can send powerful messages that number 1 I can be trusted to tell you when I make a mistake and 2 that I am willing to correct it enough to make your life easier. Those are good traits to look for whether in a romantic partner or friend or work team.

 

 

I can certainly appreciate it when people demonstrate a desire to do something small to make my life easier. It is not the small amount of cost that is the issue. The important thing is their attitude and thought behind it.

 

I am a kind of person who believes in the importance of paying attention to small details. Maybe it is because with the kind of work I have done for so long it does involve the importance of paying attention to details that it becomes a habit to apply that to most other things. What people do when it comes to small things gives you some indication of what they are about when big things happen. What looks insignificant on the surface doesn't make it so.

Edited by Darren2013
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Anyway now it kind of bothers me that she didn't let me go buy her another drink to make it up to her. That's not a good sign. If she was crushing on me then that would mean she sees me as a boyfriend and would have no problem letting me go get the drink for her. So maybe this all happened for a reason to prove that I am dead in the water and really deep in the friend-zone.

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So you are thinking it is a neutral thing. It is neither a sign of interest or disinterest.

 

Pretty much so. Yes.

 

 

But, tell us the truth. Did you spill the drink so you'd have a reason to break no contact with her? You KNOW the type of styrofoam cup she buys. You KNOW her routine of buying it at the station.

 

 

Did you break the styrofoam? If so, you should buy her a drink another time. Many of those stations have deals on refills if you carry the same cup around. You can generally tell by lipstick marks how long a woman has been milking a cup for the refills. That is, if she wears lipstick. Have a good look at the cup next time, but try not to spill it. Have a look at her lips while you're at it, and see if the color matches.

 

 

Meanwhile, tell us the truth. Was it intentional?

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Pretty much so. Yes.

 

 

But, tell us the truth. Did you spill the drink so you'd have a reason to break no contact with her? You KNOW the type of styrofoam cup she buys. You KNOW her routine of buying it at the station.

 

 

Did you break the styrofoam? If so, you should buy her a drink another time. Many of those stations have deals on refills if you carry the same cup around. You can generally tell by lipstick marks how long a woman has been milking a cup for the refills. That is, if she wears lipstick. Have a good look at the cup next time, but try not to spill it. Have a look at her lips while you're at it, and see if the color matches.

 

 

Meanwhile, tell us the truth. Was it intentional?

 

I would have nothing to gain from doing it intentionally. I would just be making a fool of myself at work. I have no reason to do that. I said I was just going about my business. If I have to stop putting my stuff in the freezer from now on to avoid the risk of bumping into her stuff then so be it. Maybe that's the only lesson to take away from this.

 

I didn't break the cup. She doesn't wear lipstick.

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So is this a signal of disinterest then or is this just neutral?

 

No. It wasn't a signal of any kind. She's not signalling to you.

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OP what will you do if she gets a bf? you have been going on about this women on LS for a good while now its almost like a obsession more then a genuine romantic interest are you going to ask her out at any point?

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OP what will you do if she gets a bf? you have been going on about this women on LS for a good while now its almost like a obsession more then a genuine romantic interest are you going to ask her out at any point?

 

The answer is no. What will I do if she gets a boyfriend? That would be all the incentive I need to move on. I hope she hurries up and gets married. Unfortunately that's what it will take. Faceless strangers on a message board telling me to move on is not enough of an incentive even if 100% of the posters say forget about her. So any advice to move on is going in one ear and out the other.

 

In the meantime I have less than 5 months of working with this company so I have no choice but to interact with her sometimes to be professional. Unfortunately incidents like this accident happen where I am forced to make interaction in an attempt to correct a mess. She can take it any way she wants to and maybe I do everything wrong in her eyes. I can't help what she thinks. I just do my best to try and make things right if and when situations like this happen again. So who knows what will happen next that forces interaction with her. It may not be an accident but something else.

Edited by Darren2013
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So is this a signal of disinterest then or is this just neutral?

 

Either way it is a sign that she cares about me enough to not want me to inconvenience myself. If it is a signal of disinterest then it shows she cares enough about me to not lead me on. But my offer of reimbursement wasn't with a flirtatious gesture motive. I didn't have an ulterior motive either because again I would have done this for any of my coworkers. It is such a small task but the small things can send powerful messages that number 1 I can be trusted to tell you when I make a mistake and 2 that I am willing to correct it enough to make your life easier. Those are good traits to look for whether in a romantic partner or friend or work team.

 

 

I can certainly appreciate it when people demonstrate a desire to do something small to make my life easier. It is not the small amount of cost that is the issue. The important thing is their attitude and thought behind it.

 

I am a kind of person who believes in the importance of paying attention to small details. Maybe it is because with the kind of work I have done for so long it does involve the importance of paying attention to details that it becomes a habit to apply that to most other things. What people do when it comes to small things gives you some indication of what they are about when big things happen. What looks insignificant on the surface doesn't make it so.

 

You missed the point.

 

This isn't in any way about YOU. I doubt she was thinking about you personally. I'ts about not wanting a new drink that badly where she's going to inconvenience you to get a new one, simply because it's not a big deal. Chances are if it were another coworker she'd react in the same manner...most people would. Like I already said, if ANYONE spilled a drink of mine at work I would NOT take them up on their offer to get me a new one unless it was down the hall or maybe if they were already going out to get food. Otherwise I'd tell them "Don't worry about it" and it would be as simple as that. It would have ZERO to do with any secret romantic feelings or intentions but a very normal and neutral thing and part of common social etiquette.

 

What you would do is CLEARLY very different from what most people would do...so you should take other people's word for it instead of your own since how you think seems to deviate from how most people do. Chances are people's thinking on the matter here will match your crush's thinking more than your own does. Further, she can appreciate the gesture and still not have you go through with it like I said. I would appreciate the coworker offering and that would be enough! I wouldn't need them to actually go buy a new one. The fact they offered would show they are courteous but I'd not bother to let them get me a new drink and many people wouldn't either, your crush seemingly one of them.

 

It's one thing to pay attention to small details in some cases, it's another to read into very trivial things. Not all "small details" are significant, sorry. Some are and some aren't. This for example, I'd be willing to bet means absolutely nothing beyond what it seems. It seems you don't discriminate between what might be meaningful and what is not but read into every and all things...she blinked twice does it mean she likes me or wants me to take care of her when she is old, she scratched her leg does it mean she is allergic to me...I mean come on.

 

Then again I'm not one for clues. I have no time for them so unless someone decides to be frank I just have no desire to sit around reading into every action they do and try to figure out if it means anything about me....it's weirdly narcissistic and the margin for error is HUGE!

Edited by MissBee
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You missed the point.

 

This isn't in any way about YOU. I doubt she was thinking about you personally. I'ts about not wanting a new drink that badly where she's going to inconvenience you to get a new one, simply because it's not a big deal. Chances are if it were another coworker she'd react in the same manner...most people would. Like I already said, if ANYONE spilled a drink of mine at work I would NOT take them up on their offer to get me a new one unless it was down the hall or maybe if they were already going out to get food. Otherwise I'd tell them "Don't worry about it" and it would be as simple as that. It would have ZERO to do with any secret romantic feelings or intentions but a very normal and neutral thing and part of common social etiquette.

 

What you would do is CLEARLY very different from what most people would do...so you should take other people's word for it instead of your own since how you think seems to deviate from how most people do. Chances are people's thinking on the matter here will match your crush's thinking more than your own does. Further, she can appreciate the gesture and still not have you go through with it like I said. I would appreciate the coworker offering and that would be enough! I wouldn't need them to actually go buy a new one. The fact they offered would show they are courteous but I'd not bother to let them get me a new drink and many people wouldn't either, your crush seemingly one of them.

 

It's one thing to pay attention to small details in some cases, it's another to read into very trivial things. Not all "small details" are significant, sorry. Some are and some aren't. This for example, I'd be willing to bet means absolutely nothing beyond what it seems. It seems you don't discriminate between what might be meaningful and what is not but read into every and all things...she blinked twice does it mean she likes me or wants me to take care of her when she is old, she scratched her leg does it mean she is allergic to me...I mean come on.

 

Then again I'm not one for clues. I have no time for them so unless someone decides to be frank I just have no desire to sit around reading into every action they do and try to figure out if it means anything about me....it's weirdly narcissistic and the margin for error is HUGE!

 

Okay I already got it that it isn't a signal of interest but are you saying it is a signal of disinterest?

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Okay I already got it that it isn't a signal of interest but are you saying it is a signal of disinterest?

 

It's not a signal. She is not signalling anything to you. There is no hidden message.

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You spilled a drink.

It's just a drink.

I would say the same as she did to anyone at work.

 

 

There are no signals and no hidden agenda here at all.

 

 

You are analysing this waaay too much.

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Okay I already got it that it isn't a signal of interest but are you saying it is a signal of disinterest?

 

This question doesn't make sense to me.

 

It's NOT a signal of anything besides she didn't want you to get her a new drink. I said it in two different posts that it is NOT about you personally.

 

 

I don't know how else to say it. It wasn't a signal of anything. It's not about you. Stop reading it as if if it's about you (is it interest or disinterest or a signal still means you're thinking any of those actions are related to you when they are NOT about you).

 

Example: if I scratch my leg. This is NOT a sign of interest or disinterest in my coworker talking to me. I scratched MY leg because it's my leg and I want to scratch it. If a coworker spills my drink and I say no they don't need to get me a new one, it's not about them or a signal of interest or disinterest, it's about me not wanting them to get me a new drink irrespective of how I feel or don't feel about them.

 

You also have no plans of ever asking her out so I don't see why it matters if she's into you or not. As TigerLily pointed out though, it seems this is just some kind of weird obsession that's not even about genuine like but you get some strange pleasure out of making 69084305 threads about reading into her every move.

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This question doesn't make sense to me.

 

It's NOT a signal of anything besides she didn't want you to get her a new drink. I said it in two different posts that it is NOT about you personally.

 

 

I don't know how else to say it. It wasn't a signal of anything. It's not about you. Stop reading it as if if it's about you (is it interest or disinterest or a signal still means you're thinking any of those actions are related to you when they are NOT about you).

 

Example: if I scratch my leg. This is NOT a sign of interest or disinterest in my coworker talking to me. I scratched MY leg because it's my leg and I want to scratch it. If a coworker spills my drink and I say no they don't need to get me a new one, it's not about them or a signal of interest or disinterest, it's about me not wanting them to get me a new drink irrespective of how I feel or don't feel about them.

 

You also have no plans of ever asking her out so I don't see why it matters if she's into you or not. As TigerLily pointed out though, it seems this is just some kind of weird obsession that's not even about genuine like but you get some strange pleasure out of making 69084305 threads about reading into her every move.

 

 

No it's the other way around. My interest level in her is a moot point so it does matter whether she is into me or not. The woman's interest is more important than the guy's interest.

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I remember you made a thread earlier on about stalking and to be honest, some of your behavior worries me as it seems to follow some very atypical lines of thinking to the point of obsession and fixation. I recall watching a program on people who stalk others, where it starts with an obsession, then they start internalizing everything this person does as related to them (even if the person doesn't even know them). One man kept thinking this news lady was sending him signals and messages on the news and he started stalking her. Another woman kept thinking her neighbor was sending her signals. All the stalkers had one thing in common: reading signals where there were none and being obsessed and fixated on another person and reading signs of neutrality or common courtesy as more than it was and working themselves up in their minds about ENTIRE stories with these people based on no or LIMITED information. I'm not being rude here but you do the same things and some of the way you speak (and the fact you asked about stalking before) is very similar to how these obsessed people behave where some of them on the outside seem normal but in secret are OBSESSED with people who don't even think about them like that and keep reading into all these people's actions as related to them....it's a very unhealthy way of thinking and perhaps you should talk to someone about your thought patterns and get a professional opinion on if it is healthy?

Edited by MissBee
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Well I have to talk about it somewhere and it is better to post about it on a message board than talk to anyone in real life. That doesn't make me a stalker. It is not like I call her from a blocked number or wait for her outside of work or try to fish for information about her through coworkers. Those are things classic stalkers do. I also don't make it a point to show up at places I know she will be. If anything I avoid those places.

 

But posting about it on a message board doesn't make me a stalker.

 

Now the only question I have is what are the chances that she took my offer to get a new drink as a flirtatious gesture?

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