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Is attraction subjective?

Mangina

By Mangina,
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Mangina

Mangina

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I was reading some posts were some girls/women said that what they thought was attractive, others thought was ugly. I'm not sure myself, I believe there is some truth to it, but most people do find the same people attractive or else it wouldn't be so hard for some people to get a date.

 

One poster told said to just go for whoever you want, many beautiful women are lonely because they only get hit on by jerks. This hasn't been my experience, but I don't know about that.

 

What are your thoughts?

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Imported

Imported

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It's subjective for what your threshold is and what you can get or believe you can.

 

Like, lets say you are an attractive man (and you know you are!), with a great career and lots of other things going for you. You know you can can get objectively beautiful women all day long. Subjective here is like a Halle Berry in her prime (before boob job) compared to a Selma Hyak or a Kate Upton or a Natalie Portman.

 

A Rosanne Bar would not be a consideration. I think when people say "looks are subjective", they are comparing people that are fairly similar for "level of attractiveness" and what they think they can get. If they can't get a Brad Pit or someone at "that level", but different, that guy isn't all that anyway and he's probably gay.

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Gloria25

Gloria25

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Of course it is subjective - you like what you like. Now "where" that comes from? I think it's a combo of environment and experiences...

 

I also believe the media, family, culture, society and/or environment may place pressures on certain people to influence what is "attractive" - which forces them to pick a certain type of person/look/race/etc.

 

I remember a Sex and the City where a friend of Carrie's was in a RL with a woman who he "hid" from others cuz he felt that she was not "attractive" in comparison with what people believed "hot" women in New York looked like. So, although he said she's the best thing that happened to him, he kept her "hidden" from his normal social circles...Well, by the time he came around and decided to forget what everyone else thinks - she told him to get lost. :laugh:

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Mangina

Mangina

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Of course it is subjective - you like what you like. Now "where" that comes from? I think it's a combo of environment and experiences...

 

I also believe the media, family, culture, society and/or environment may place pressures on certain people to influence what is "attractive" - which forces them to pick a certain type of person/look/race/etc.

 

I remember a Sex and the City where a friend of Carrie's was in a RL with a woman who he "hid" from others cuz he felt that she was not "attractive" in comparison with what people believed "hot" women in New York looked like. So, although he said she's the best thing that happened to him, he kept her "hidden" from his normal social circles...Well, by the time he came around and decided to forget what everyone else thinks - she told him to get lost. :laugh:

so what would be your preference?
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Camaro Guy

Camaro Guy

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Partly but I believe some people have it easier and appeal to a larger group than others. For men, it's tall, muscular, defined jaw, sharp eyebrows. For women, it's curvy, somewhat petite, slender but not overly thin, somewhat large eyes, little fat but still somewhat plump.

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preraph

preraph

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I find people who share my interests more attractive. I do have physical types, but I've diverged from them a lot because I admired someone whose interest were common to my own and they appreciated me way more for that reason as well. I think it's easier to be attracted if you fully understand the other person's passion or passions. When I was dating, I would take someone less beautiful but whose expertise or skills matched my own over the perfect looking guy who I had nothing to talk about with. And I did do that quite a few times in fact. I'd be like, "Can't believe I'm throwing this most eligible bachelor back, but here goes."

 

I tried my best to fall for this guy who traveled to see me. We had a friend in common and we both liked animals at least, but that was it. He was a real technical minded scientist whose dad owned a newspaper ($$) For some reason, he apparently liked wild girls, probably hoped one would take over because he was a bit shy. Anyway, we just ran out of anything to talk about. He was so cute, too. He was very good on paper. He was sweet. He just wasn't for me.

 

If you have a passion and some guy you meet opens up and you see he has absolute genius about that passion, you will be drawn to him. That's why I always say the "cure" for everything is go out and do the things you love most and find new passions.

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Phoe

Phoe

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Definitely.

 

For celebrity examples, I don't find George Clooney attractive in the slightest. Just doesn't appeal to me. Nor do I find Brad Pitt or Chris Hemsworth attractive

 

Benedict Cumberbatch though, is gorgeous. Tom Hiddleston? Gorgeous.

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most_distant_galaxy

most_distant_galaxy

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Definitely.

 

For celebrity examples, I don't find George Clooney attractive in the slightest. Just doesn't appeal to me. Nor do I find Brad Pitt or Chris Hemsworth attractive

 

Benedict Cumberbatch though, is gorgeous. Tom Hiddleston? Gorgeous.

 

We have the exact same taste. :p

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gaius

gaius

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There has to be some basic standard of attractiveness or else the word has no meaning really. So who you find attractive might be subjective but who's actually considered attractive isn't so much.

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carhill

carhill

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In the sense that whom I personally find attractive is individual, attraction is subjective. However, there is a tipping point where individual attraction becomes widely attractive. Yes, there may be widely attractive people I'm personally not attracted to but it would be short-sighted of myself to ignore their wide attraction to many people. The good news, for them, is that my opinion is irrelevant. They're above that fray.

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Divasu

Divasu

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I suppose.

 

Men I'm physically attracted to:

Ryan Guzman

:laugh:

 

Men I am not physically attracted to:

Ryan Gosling

George Clooney

Brad Pitt

Kellan Lutz

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Mangina

Mangina

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I suppose.

 

Men I'm physically attracted to:

Ryan Guzman

:laugh:

 

Men I am not physically attracted to:

Ryan Gosling

George Clooney

Brad Pitt

Kellan Lutz

what separates he from them?
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somedude81

somedude81

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There are definitely traits that make a man/woman universally attractive or unattractive.

 

Odds are if one women thinks a guy is very good looking, many other women will as well.

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whatcanitellyou

whatcanitellyou

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There are always some common standards of attractiveness that people are conditioned to look for, and these vary with different time periods and societies. Often it falls to what is exotic and hard to find: societies where food was scarce preferred heavier people and societies where food is plentiful prefer thinner people. But within societies there is always variation on what people find attractive, even if they don't admit it.

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Divasu

Divasu

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what separates he from them?

 

A few that pop into my head that kind of make the picture complete for me (after observing him on camera and in interviews):

 

He seems down to earth/humble

He can dance

He is well spoken and polite

He is very driven

He is funny/silly at times (

, his laugh alone gets me hot:laugh::love:)

His dimples

His eyes

His body

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Tayken

Tayken

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I suppose.

 

Men I'm physically attracted to:

Ryan Guzman

:laugh:

 

Men I am not physically attracted to:

Ryan Gosling

George Clooney

Brad Pitt

Kellan Lutz

 

In other words....the men older than you? It makes sense to me.

 

I mean I like Helen Mirren, Susan Sarandon, Michelle Pfiffer to name just a few, but I doubt the lovelies know I exist or will feel the same if they ever met me.

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ThaWholigan

ThaWholigan

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There are always some common standards of attractiveness that people are conditioned to look for, and these vary with different time periods and societies. Often it falls to what is exotic and hard to find: societies where food was scarce preferred heavier people and societies where food is plentiful prefer thinner people. But within societies there is always variation on what people find attractive, even if they don't admit it.

Basically this.

 

As a guy, I'm not every girl's cuppa, and I can easily accept that.

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Divasu

Divasu

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In other words....the men older than you? It makes sense to me.

 

I mean I like Helen Mirren, Susan Sarandon, Michelle Pfiffer to name just a few, but I doubt the lovelies know I exist or will feel the same if they ever met me.

 

Well Kellan Lutz and Ryan Gosling are younger than me. I do like Liam Neeson :love:

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