mr_dave Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 I'm a fairly muscular guy who's been single for 18 months now, without so much as a tumbleweed blowing across the barren desert that is my love life. In spite of my appearance I am very bashful, kind and extremely placid, and was wondering perhaps whether having such a physique might actually be counting against me. I would like to meet a cute girl with a similar personality to myself, but the only notable female attention I have received in my life has been from a pair of inebriated wenches in a nightclub. I get a lot of compliments (it's one of the first things they remark upon) from male colleagues at work who are surprised that I'm single, but what guys think a woman finds attractive isn't necessarily what a woman would find to be attractive. I have some questions that I would be grateful for your female perspective on.. Do you pre-judge guys for being muscular? For example thinking that they are probably narcissistic/ players/ lacking in intelligence/ aggressive? Would it make you feel insecure to go out with such a guy, maybe worrying somewhat about your own figure/diet etc? Is the appearance itself a turn off? At what point does it become too much? Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 I dated a body builder bouncer.....i knew him for two years before we went out.....i did judge him unfairly when i first met him....but once i got to know him.....and he spent a lot of time with me as a friend.......i realized he wasnt just a shell of a man...he did however turn out to be a commitment phobe...i dotn think that had anythign to do with hsi muscle definition more the fact we were together from very young and i was his first real long term relationship.........deb 2 Link to post Share on other sites
IronZ Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 I'm not exactly built like a mountain or anything but I do a lot of weight lifting and have a good bit of muscle on me too. I don't think it hurts you at all. I think most girls like to see a strong looking guy. If you ask me though, I would try cutting some weight too and not just lifting. You want lean muscle. I'm sure there are girls who are turned off by the Arnold beefcake look. Also keep in mind that love and dating isn't just about looks. It's about your personalities clicking and the chemistry you have together. I wouldn't worry too much about the looks. Focus on your other qualities. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Jules Dash Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 I am not a lady but I would like to just give you my observation and leave it at that. Of course there are many factors relating to attraction and even physical attraction but, overall, I find that the women like the more athletic, sinewy types on average. I am not saying that the muscular types do not attract women but you almost never see these guys as the lady killers. I used to do some intermediate body building years ago and now I go strictly for the athletic, NBA point guard type of build. I tend to get a lot more compliments on the latter type of build versus when I was going for bulk. Come to think of it, I rarely got compliments on my physique when I was body building for mass. It just seems as if it wasn't appreciated as much. Of course the guys thinks it's cool to be big and muscular but the massive muscular guy seems to be more of a guy thing. I wouldn't stop bulking up if that is your thing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Nay. I like a nice toned guy but not muscular. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Dontfindme Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Personally, I like it when guys are toned and proportional. For example - if you're a short guy with a ridiculously bulky chest - I don't find that attractive. I really dislike it when a particular area (like the chest, or arms) overshadow everything else. Also - if you look like this or even remotely close, in my opinion it is too much: http://fullspike.com/_bodybuilding/_bodybuilders/arnold-schwarzenegger/gallery/bodybuilding/arnold-schwarzenegger-bodybuilding-14.png Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalCastles Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Personally I prefer a bit of fat on a man- muscles are good but I like at least a little bit of a soft tummy. Makes him more cuddly. I know many girls who prefer your body type though. I've gone out on dates with very muscular guys before, who were so arrogant about their supposed "hotness" that it was a massive turnoff. As long as you're not like that, then all's well. In the end, the most important thing is chemistry. If you enjoy working out, don't stop. You shouldn't sacrifice your health for girls. I think that its more your shyness than your body that's inhibiting you from being successful in dating. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 I don't think it's going against you brother, women love big upper bodies and biceps. I think you should get even bigger. Not over done, but like this guy. http://us.123rf.com/450wm/justmeyo/justmeyo1310/justmeyo131000066/22547983-muscular-model-man-posing-in-blue-shirt-and-jeans-isolated-on-white-background.jpg Link to post Share on other sites
Dontfindme Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 I don't think it's going against you brother, women love big upper bodies and biceps. I think you should get even bigger. Not over done, but like this guy. http://us.123rf.com/450wm/justmeyo/justmeyo1310/justmeyo131000066/22547983-muscular-model-man-posing-in-blue-shirt-and-jeans-isolated-on-white-background.jpg If you do decide to look like the guy in the photo - please choose better clothing. If you workout even a bit, most people can tell, no need to state the obvious. Some things are better understated. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 If you do decide to look like the guy in the photo - please choose better clothing. If you workout even a bit, most people can tell, no need to state the obvious. Some things are better understated. lol that guy in the photo looks like a total douche bag in that shirt. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Dontfindme Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 lol that guy in the photo looks like a total douche bag in that shirt. Haha that was succinctly put. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 If you do decide to look like the guy in the photo - please choose better clothing. If you workout even a bit, most people can tell, no need to state the obvious. Some things are better understated. I prefer the crew neck. Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 lol that guy in the photo looks like a total douche bag in that shirt. True, but he'd probably get more and better looking women than you and I put together. Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Haha that was succinctly put. Yeah, I just don't understand why some wear ridiculous clothing like that. It just comes across the wrong way & obviously is just trying to show off. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 (edited) I'm a pretty big guy...Huge? I dunno...5'6" 218..around 13/14% bf..It does get irritating hearing all of the negative comments from people who are frankly just probably jealous...I like heavy weight training and I pack muscle easier than most..I dont care what they think and I dont care what women think.... TFY Edited October 25, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 4 Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 True, but he'd probably get more and better looking women than you and I put together. Probably, but the women he'd attract likely wouldn't be dating material. That type of clothing would get him a lot of women who love the bar/club scene. And before anyone gets offended I know not all women who like to drink or go to clubs are slutty, but let's be real here a huge percentage are. Classy women would think this guy is a douche for wearing that. Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Yeah, I just don't understand why some wear ridiculous clothing like that. It just comes across the wrong way & obviously is just trying to show off. Same thing when men see big breasted women with a lowcut tops. lol Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 (edited) I'm a pretty big guy...Huge? I dunno...5'6" 218..around 13/14% bf..It does get irritating hearing all of the negative comments from people who are frankly just probably jealous...I like heavy weight training and I pack muscle easier than most..I dont care what they think and I dont care what women think.... TFY Dude wtf. Your an inch shorter than me & weigh 80 pounds more lol. I'd like to think I'm in decent shape, but I'm not in bodybuilding shape. Edited October 25, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Probably, but the women he'd attract likely wouldn't be dating material. That type of clothing would get him a lot of women who love the bar/club scene. And before anyone gets offended I know not all women who like to drink or go to clubs are slutty, but let's be real here a huge percentage are. Classy women would think this guy is a douche for wearing that. It's biological dude, they get turned on. You can't fault women too much for not analyzing when they see attractive men. Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 (edited) It's biological dude, they get turned on. You can't fault women too much for not analyzing when they see attractive men. lol I get that, but like I said the type of women he'd attract would mainly be the slutty types. When I go on bodybuilding.com on the Tinder thread on the misc, and these guys with no shirts on in their pics posting that the girls are giving numbers out like candy with women wanting to **** them right away. And the guys wearing more classy clothing don't get all these girls who just want to jump in bed with them unless their really attractive. Maybe I'm wrong but I'd like to think the type of clothing you wear can sometimes attract different type of women. I guarantee if we did an experiment & posted shirtless photos or in clothing like the pic you sent before, we'd get way more matches than usual. Edited October 24, 2014 by NJ123 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 lol I get that, but like I said the type of women he'd attract would mainly be the slutty types. When I go on bodybuilding.com on the Tinder thread on the misc, and these guys with no shirts on in their pics posting that the girls are giving numbers out like candy with women wanting to **** them right away. And the guys wearing more classy clothing don't get all these girls who just want to jump in bed with them unless their really attractive. Maybe I'm wrong but I'd like to think the type of clothing you wear can sometimes attract different type of women. Well like I said, I wear crew neck shirts like that, although I'm not as well built..........IDK Link to post Share on other sites
WhatIsLove2014 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 I do not like overly muscular, body builders. I like a nice toned body. I do like a little tummy. Its soft and cuddly. Lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 Dude wtf. Your an inch shorter than me & weigh 80 pounds more lol. I'd like to think I'm in decent shape, but I'm not in bodybuilding shape. I bet I got better abs than you do, too.... All kidding aside... I carry this weight just fine..I dont look abnormal..What I have found is that most women that have body "issues" immediately will dismiss a muscular guy...Makes sense..They probably are going to feel even more insecure than they already are, if they have to look at a packed and ripped guy every day... And I am sure this holds for either gender...Most out of shape guys arent going to feel real good around a well built woman.... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 I bet I got better abs than you do, too.... All kidding aside... I carry this weight just fine..I dont look abnormal..What I have found is that most women that have body "issues" immediately will dismiss a muscular guy...Makes sense..They probably are going to feel even more insecure than they already are, if they have to look at a packed and ripped guy every day... And I am sure this holds for either gender...Most out of shape guys arent going to feel real good around a well built woman.... TFY Thats' weird, I get BBWs coming at me all day. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 I don't have a type, I like any body type (except morbidly obese). But I will say that I would never actively be interested in or pursue a particularly muscular or athletic man, simply because I'd assume I would not have a chance. Link to post Share on other sites
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