passion_flower Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 This isn't the first time since we partly moved in together. We have a strange arrangement in that I take my suitcase to his every Sunday and go home on Friday, because I can't officially "live" there as it will affect his benefits. Anyway he keeps saying he wants breaks when things get too much, I recently had a psychotic episode so I could understand it more then although I did feel let down that he didn't want me around and couldn't support me when I most needed it. He said today he needed more time to himself as he's been overdoing it with things and needed time to clear his head. I feel hurt and confused and don't know where I stand with him. He doesn't understand how I feel and he feels I'm taking it personally whereas I see it as taking it how anyone else would. I told him to break up with me if he couldn't cope with me to which he got upset about and told me he didn't want that. He puts everything down to aspergers but I don't know how much is that and how much is him. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 Wait, what? What benefits? Is this the same guy that was on the dating site months into your relationship? From where I sit, I see a man who has the benefit of playing house during the week and single and available on the weekends. What does he do on the weekends and why don't you spend that time together? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author passion_flower Posted October 19, 2014 Author Share Posted October 19, 2014 Wait, what? What benefits? Is this the same guy that was on the dating site months into your relationship? From where I sit, I see a man who has the benefit of playing house during the week and single and available on the weekends. What does he do on the weekends and why don't you spend that time together? He stated he was on there looking for friends and was in a relationship so I'm kinda over that. He does come to my house on a Sunday when my mum cooks a Sunday roast and we mostly play video games and go for drives as he's having lessons as the moment so I go with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author passion_flower Posted October 19, 2014 Author Share Posted October 19, 2014 I tried to quote your post but it keeps telling me a mod will review it. Anyway he said he was in a relationship on there and he was looking for friends so I'm kind of over that. He does come over on a Sunday when my mum cooks a roast Sunday lunch and we go back together. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 I recently had a psychotic episode so I could understand it more... he feels I'm taking it personally... He puts everything down to aspergers but I don't know how much is that and how much is him. Let's see... you take psychotic breaks, he takes aspergers breaks. He can't deal with yours, you can't deal with his. Honestly, you two need to give each other a break. Needing some alone time is not unusual for anyone, but I don't think he should get a pass on anything imaginable based on having aspergers syndrome. Is he asking for relationship breaks or just needing some alone time occasionally. There is a big difference. So, what's the psychotic episode all about? Do you mean this literally? You talk as if it's something you just decided to do... "so I could understand it more." Care to explain? Link to post Share on other sites
Author passion_flower Posted October 20, 2014 Author Share Posted October 20, 2014 Let's see... you take psychotic breaks, he takes aspergers breaks. He can't deal with yours, you can't deal with his. Honestly, you two need to give each other a break. Needing some alone time is not unusual for anyone, but I don't think he should get a pass on anything imaginable based on having aspergers syndrome. Is he asking for relationship breaks or just needing some alone time occasionally. There is a big difference. So, what's the psychotic episode all about? Do you mean this literally? You talk as if it's something you just decided to do... "so I could understand it more." Care to explain? It wasn't my idea then. I believe in supporting each other through the worst in a relationship although I get my illness must have been hard to understand that's why I said "so I can understand it more" meaning I could understand him wanting a break from me then but I'm recovering now. I get that he wants alone time but we're not exactly joined at the hip, I go out to work and he's always on his computer in his spare time anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 passion-flower, Are the "benefits" you mention Social Security benefits ? Just curious. AW Link to post Share on other sites
Author passion_flower Posted October 20, 2014 Author Share Posted October 20, 2014 passion-flower, Are the "benefits" you mention Social Security benefits ? Just curious. AW Yes sorry I forgot it's called being on the welfare in the US isn't it? I just realized that could be interpreted as friends with benefits for those who don't know what benefits are in the uk. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 He stated he was on there looking for friends and was in a relationship so I'm kinda over that. He does come to my house on a Sunday when my mum cooks a Sunday roast and we mostly play video games and go for drives as he's having lessons as the moment so I go with him. Not to rehash an old topic......well I'm going to anyway. There is no reason for any man or woman to look for 'friends' on a dating site. There's plenty other valid ways to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author passion_flower Posted October 20, 2014 Author Share Posted October 20, 2014 Not to rehash an old topic......well I'm going to anyway. There is no reason for any man or woman to look for 'friends' on a dating site. There's plenty other valid ways to do that. Part of me thinks he was on there because he saw my emails from dating websites where I had tried to delete the profile and he thought I was still on them, the other part is that he wanted to talk to other people on there one-to-one with autism whereas you can't do that on a forum. Link to post Share on other sites
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