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Manipulative Women...


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I was watching ID (Investigation Discovery) last week and they have this new show about female detectives and there was this case of this nutty chick in Atlanta, Georgia who killed some guy she was messing with.

 

What astounds me soooo much is how she had so many men just gaga over her and she wasn't even that pretty.

 

I mean, the gun she used to kill the guy was given to her by a deputy cuz she went crying to him about being abused...AND, the guy she killed? She filed false rape allegations against him (and other men) and even on the night he went for the booty-call, his friend told him 'that woman is gonna kill you' and even called him the next day to check on him.

 

My question is, how do guys fall for such manipulative women?

 

I mean, I think these women play a game - usually the "damsel in distress" thing and men naturally want to provide/protect women and they just lick up the act these women pull.

 

One guy dumped me for the town ho. I mean, she had no green card (Side note: I was born in the U.S. but my parents are immigrants. They filed their papers, got their residency and I and my immediate siblings were born here - so I'm not putting down immigrants)....And, she was always in her high-heels and tight jeans with endless male "friends".

 

Well, he was so gullible that he would take her to the club on Salsa night on the base, and she would be chatting up the foreign officers and dancing with them - RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. But, one time he saw me in the club (after we broke up) and had the audacity to question "who" I was taking to (and I was not even into the guy, I just was making conversation).

 

Well, eventually, after she got $500 out of him, gave him sex once, and some expensive gloves and stuff he "lent" her. He came crying to me about how he was trying just to "help" her and she didn't get it.

 

So, he was quick to treat me like crap and I was faithful to him and never asked him for a dime or favor - yet, he's gaga over the town ho, who was looking for a green card (one guy told me she hit him up, and he wasn't gonna fall for her crap) and men to pay her bills.

 

I sometimes wonder if it's my independence that makes these men diss me to be with some dainty, dependent, female who just bats her eyelashes?

 

So, what do you think? Why do men go for these manipulative women? Is it cuz these women play the role of a "victim", "damsel in distress", or these women are so dependent on these guys? Are these women just good at reading guys and playing these guys?

Edited by Gloria25
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There are a lot of factors as to why a guy may be more attracted to those types of girls. But only one springs to mind.

 

I wouldn't try to figure it out. You already know all you need to know...That those guys aren't into you and really, you know you're not truly interested in them either. It's your pride that keeps you wondering, the whole, "Why not me? What's wrong with me?" thing.

 

We all have our insecurities but I think you allow yours to take over completely at times. Overriding your rational self.

 

You know why those types of men go after those types of women. Because they're easy. Because they sleep with them quickly. It's all about SEX SEX SEX.

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There are a lot of factors as to why a guy may be more attracted to those types of girls. But only one springs to mind.

 

I wouldn't try to figure it out. You already know all you need to know...That those guys aren't into you and really, you know you're not truly interested in them either. It's your pride that keeps you wondering, the whole, "Why not me? What's wrong with me?" thing.

 

We all have our insecurities but I think you allow yours to take over completely at times. Overriding your rational self.

 

You know why those types of men go after those types of women. Because they're easy. Because they sleep with them quickly. It's all about SEX SEX SEX.

 

I don't think it's Sex, Sex, Sex....I mean, the guy I mentioned, she only slept with him once. I think that the withholding sex is part of the manipulation when it comes to these women.

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Manipulative women rely mostly on flattering men to get what they want. A lot of men are anxious to believe their flattery or even just confident enough not to have any reason to doubt their flattery. Women are instantly suspicious upon hearing a lot of flattery, but many men simply are not that way. It's a gender thing.

 

So they flatter, and they also lie to get sympathy. A lot of good men truly want to help someone out of a bad place and help protect them, so this is a vulnerable point they can exploit.

 

In my old career, I saw what I had previously thought were perfectly normal guys being totally manipulated by a girl who wasn't even that smart and just totally buying into it and going to bat for her. She wasn't a good worker at all, wasn't good looking but did have okay breasts, her only good feature. She did drugs in front of her little school-age sister, bringing her to wild adult industry parties. She used her childhood (being the daughter of a lesbian) to try to get sympathy and hated her mother. That alone put me off her, as if there's anything wrong with her mom turning out to be a lesbian. She even got custody of her little sister. I never knew why, but I'm guessing she hated her mother and lied to get her in a lot of trouble, because she was a chronic liar.

 

She was always trying to get the dirt on people at the office. I banned her from my office. She would lie and say someone didn't return work to her, and the men would take her side because she was overly nice to them, the whole Monica Lewinski thing, bringing them little gifts, flattering them.

 

Men see little to lose by taking up with a lying flatterer who uses them as long as they think they're going to get sex in return, and they probably will. It takes a whole lot to get one of those women out of a guy's life because she will use what she knows to get promotions or keep him with her or whatever.

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I don't think it's Sex, Sex, Sex....I mean, the guy I mentioned, she only slept with him once. I think that the withholding sex is part of the manipulation when it comes to these women.

 

But Gloria, that's why he kept trying. To get more sex from her.

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These women are the female version of players. Players know how to get inside a woman's head and use it to his own advantage and these women know how to do the same with men. They know what makes men tick and they use it for their own gain. Also a lot of people in general just fall for smooth talking BS. They are like roaches who buy Raid and think it is the greatest thing on earth.

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Some people have a deep need to be needed. A hole to fill. A manipulative person can see target and exploit them with ease.

 

Do you remember the name of the woman in the case you saw? I'm curious.

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Some people have a deep need to be needed. A hole to fill. A manipulative person can see target and exploit them with ease.

 

Do you remember the name of the woman in the case you saw? I'm curious.

 

Sorry, I had to look it up. Victoria Rickman

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I can't answer your question but just wanted to comment. The only channel I really miss since giving up cable ? IDTV

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Some women learn early on that sex gives them power & control, and they use it as a weapon. It doesn't have to be actual sex, it can just be the possibility of sex.

 

It's also about telling people what they want to hear and recognizing & exploiting weaknesses.

 

I think women are more likely to be weak when it comes to love & attention, and men are more likely to be weak when it comes to sex. Male players often use attention & romantic words to get what they want, and women players usually use sex.

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To be blunt, women are much more adept at manipulation. Men are typically more straightforward.

 

I know a guy that's been married for 15 years. Whenever he slacks off on the relationship, suddenly there's "some guy hitting on her at work" or "this guy keeps checking her out". I don't want to point out how unlikely it is because I don't want to hurt any feelings. But given the circumstances it is extremely likely she is just pulling his strings.

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Frank2thepoint
I mean, I think these women play a game - usually the "damsel in distress" thing and men naturally want to provide/protect women and they just lick up the act these women pull.

 

I think many men fall for this because it is an ego boost. I am guilty of falling for this in the past, not so much presently, but I still do for ostensibly legitimate reasons. A man likes to feel needed, not just wanted. This has been mentioned several times throughout LS. So such women stroke a man's ego by allowing him to provide succor. It makes a man feel he has purpose, that he is special.

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My question is, how do guys fall for such manipulative women?

 

I mean, I think these women play a game - usually the "damsel in distress" thing and men naturally want to provide/protect women and they just lick up the act these women pull.

 

 

 

That pretty much it. A lot of fellas like to provide and protect, it's a life purpose. Therefore, especially when younger, we be suckers for the damsel in distress or bird with the broken wing. A lass in tears is our kryptonite. It turns sane and intelligent men into half wit morons and we'll move mountains to dry up those tears.

 

As for sex, the fellas purely after sex are already cynical enough to see through the bullsh*t. You can't kid a kidder, and all that jazz.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well, there are a number of reasons.

 

We are not as socially advanced as women are up to mid 20's [maybe even later], while women tend to know how to play the social game so much better.

We tend to see black/white while women tend to see shades of grey [please do not come with counter examples ppl, a general trend is just that ... a trend].

 

What you are describing in the OP [the situation you were in] would be called by some men as 'captain save-a-ho'.

It could have various reasons, maybe he felt that he wasn't good enough for you, and he tried to subconsciously find someone under his perceived social status.

Maybe he likes to save puppies and take care of them, and has a thing for the puppy-eyes look.

Maybe why he let her flirt in front of him was because he was lying to himself about it ... 'surely, she's just being friendly', ppl tend to go extraordinary lengths to protect their ego.

 

In my case [i kept going for the wrong women] was that i idealized love, had quite a bit of lust [they were good looking] and i did not understand the social games even to the slightest.

 

Other ppl probably have different reasons.

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I wish I had that power, and I am PRETTY too.

When I watch though type of shows on ID.

Women who aren't even all that, women who are old, and just whatever! Can get a man to killed another woman or man... blows my mind!

I can't even get a man to get a hair cut!

 

let alone, "Hey honeyyyy, you want to kill another person for me?"

 

it's most deff. about the victim they pick, and their self esteem for sure. How much they are willing to do for this person....

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I don't think it's Sex, Sex, Sex....I mean, the guy I mentioned, she only slept with him once. I think that the withholding sex is part of the manipulation when it comes to these women.

 

What about the men with no self-control? They had sex once, so they're sure it will happen again, if they just help the woman out of her bad situation. The women don't hypnotize them, they make a choice.

 

This reminds me of the men who would flirt with shy girls, or those they thought would appreciate the attention, when they're on vacation, and sleep with them. When the girl goes through customs, she's arrested for drugs that the guy hid in her suitcase, when she was sleeping - only the girls didn't knowingly make the choice to carry drugs.

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Manipulative women are masters at reading the personalities and needs of their men.

 

 

They know how to pluck the right stings with the right guys.

 

 

Some guys get satisfaction in the 'protector' role.

 

 

Some guys are naive and kid themselves into thinking there is something more to her than there is.

 

 

Some guys are just naturally trusting.

 

 

Some guys hold women in the highest regard and think they can do no wrong.

 

 

Some guys crave the sex/attention.

 

 

Some guys are just suckers...:laugh:

 

 

Holy crap, I just described myself...

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I haven't come across anything this extreme, but I've had women get me to think that they're romantically interest in order to get me to do something for them.

 

The last one was in a class I took a couple of years ago. She'd flirt, ask me if I wanted to do something and I'd help her out in class. Then she'd cancel plans and reschedule. :rolleyes: I got a random text from her months after the end of that course, asking if I would go and help her move her stove. lol

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They're fun to be around. :p Often unpredictable with a boatload of super intense energy. Their only real goal is to exploit you and gain control so it becomes all about you and what she thinks you want. Very sexy. ;)

 

I got an email from one one time where the entire first paragraph was complete lies and BS based on stuff I already knew, and the second paragraph was a long lecture on what I needed to do to gain her trust. I still admire her chutzpah to this day. :laugh:

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They're fun to be around. :p Often unpredictable with a boatload of super intense energy.:

 

Haha I was recognizing myself in that first sentence. Then it ended:) No desire to control or manipulate

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Manipulative women are masters at reading the personalities and needs of their men.

 

They know how to pluck the right stings with the right guys.

 

Some guys get satisfaction in the 'protector' role.

 

Some guys are naive and kid themselves into thinking there is something more to her than there is.

 

Some guys are just naturally trusting.

 

Some guys hold women in the highest regard and think they can do no wrong.

 

Some guys crave the sex/attention.

 

Some guys are just suckers...:laugh:

...

 

^ Agree.

 

I saw a show not too dissimilar to this involving a woman marrying & killing for money and she was not attractive at all in present day in jail, but back 15 yrs ago when the incidents took place she was more glamorous, so there may have been that factor in this femme fatale show.

 

The town ho girl - flirty personality, flatters guys > gets guys attention. Also a single women around them who wears high heels tight jeans midriff tops even if she is not a hottie > will also very much gets guy's attention.

 

Don't underestimate the 'she's a keeper' bedroom skills of some women in terms of adding to her pull on a guy despite not being all that when it comes to conventional beauty.

 

Sometimes what men find desirable women don't think are anything special. Skinny/petite skanks for instance.

 

The guy may have got sex only once but you bet your boots he was hoping on more. Also maybe this foreign town ho woman is in his opinion the sexiest thing he's hooked up with in the last 5 yrs. Also fully agree with the others who also emphasized the 'damsel in distress' factor as well, which is independent of the nookie factor.

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Responding to the original question, those women make men feel important and needed. Something most modern women don't do anymore. With so many women treating men like a chore, lapdog or accessory.. the more cunning women play on a man's need to feel like a man.

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I wish I had that power, and I am PRETTY too.

When I watch though type of shows on ID.

Women who aren't even all that, women who are old, and just whatever! Can get a man to killed another woman or man... blows my mind!

I can't even get a man to get a hair cut!

 

let alone, "Hey honeyyyy, you want to kill another person for me?"

 

it's most deff. about the victim they pick, and their self esteem for sure. How much they are willing to do for this person....

 

Some people are just naturally gifted con artists. Just like some people are naturally gifted Football players or leaders. While anyone can learn it, only some people have the gifts to excel at it.

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I've seen this stuff up close and personal. They do "damsel in distress," they do "you're my hero," they do "you deserve so much more." They tell men exactly what they want to hear to get what they want out of them. If you look closely, they're right in there with prostitutes in a lot of ways, the strategies they use. See, a woman's antennae would usually go right up if a guy was being too flattering or giving too much or insulting their husband by saying they deserved more, but men sometimes have a little entitlement and aren't nearly as insecure about their looks and I've found are nearly always willing to believe it when someone tells them they're superman. Plus if they think it will lead to sex, and it will, then they have no motivation at all to not at least pretend to believe it all. See, for a woman, just having sex be in the end game isn't going to necessarily lead her off her chosen path, not that big a temptation. To a man, it's everything. They choose to believe it. It's good for their ego. They tell themselves and their wives they wouldn't have done it but the girl was really in trouble and really needed someone, so how could they not??

 

Strippers often make up stories to try to get patrons invested in helping them, give them some huge sob story why they need the money and of course they'd never have started stripping except for the catastrophe that befell them, so now they're innocent girls again who just need money because they had bad luck.

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Someone said that some of these 'not-so-great lookers' actually have sex going for them.

In my experience it is true.

 

A few yrs ago i was talking with this girl, kinda fat in a plumpish sort of way, and she wasn't that great of a looker.

But until 29, she was married once, cheated on him, got most of the stuff, had a new bf [during the marriage too for a while], and now was cheating on him.

She did seem confident, but not until someone turned the conversation towards sex and about how important mechanics are for it [and dedication to the cause of research !!!], that i figured out why.

Sure, she was a better looker when she was 20, but when she in HS she discovered a book on sex, and learned of Kegel exercises, and about that exercise with the balls [you insert them, try to keep them as long as possible, etc ... ].

Basically she trained her genitalia very well before marriage, tended to go for guys with poor self-esteem or that were dismissive of social knowledge [and improvement], and did whatever she wanted.

To them, the sex with her was incredible, and they came like flies to honey.

 

 

Also, about the damsel thing, it is true that some women play them.

I haven't met someone who directed the damsel at a specific target, but i did meet someone who directed the damsel with the 'cool tomboy chick' at men in general.

Early 30's, great shape, long hair, looked better than some 19yr olds that were there.

I made a joke about grey hairs in my beard [they were showing].

She says that she's not bothered because he own grey hairs only show up in her pubes [i almost choked].

We talked, i helped her out with some stuff ... etc.

At one point, we were going to the subway, and my card was over, i had to buy a new one while the train was pulling in, i would have missed it. So she lets me use hers [insists actually], while telling me that she does everything for her friends [by that point i don't think we had spent more than 20min within a 10foot radius of one another].

A few minutes after that, she starts telling me about her hard life, job, money, etc ... in a way left hanging to allow me to ... add stuff into the conversation. I started to get weird vibes so i would not take the bait though [plus the grey hair comment kinda killed it for me, showed no class].

This continued a few more times at later dates, and eventually it happened less.

Maybe a few weeks after this, we were talking again, and i find out she had a bf [dedicated gf here], big burly cool looking guy about 40, and that she was waiting for him to get out, from prison, on a drug charge ... but he didn't do it, his friend used his phone to setup a drug deal or something like that.

Lovely.

 

PS: She was also married [still], with a guy who by her description was somewhere between NPD and BPD.

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