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Eharmony or Match or both?


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KeepCalmCarryOn

When my semester ends and I have more free time I want to join another dating site. I don't know what to join. My goal is marriage and babies (obviously I won't put that in the profile). I was in Match and nothing really came of it and I have used PoF, OKC and tinder and nothing so I am thinking eharmony.. It's so expensive though! So I am wondering if you have any suggestions?

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Get off all of the sites & check out the actual people in your school. Meeting someone IRL is always better than OLD.

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KeepCalmCarryOn
Get off all of the sites & check out the actual people in your school. Meeting someone IRL is always better than OLD.

 

My masters program is 98% women

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KeepCalmCarryOn
Wow.

 

What about the other programs at your school?

 

Idk I don't venture out much. I go to class and go home which is awful for meeting people I know. I'm just like.. I get anxious around other people and nervous and I don't really want to go to other buildings. I know that no one is going to hit on me anyways so there's no point

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Michelle ma Belle

I've done the OLD merry-go-round including Match and eHarmony and at the end of the day, they are ALL THE SAME. Don't buy into the hype that one is infinitely better than another because it's just not true.

 

I'm not going to berate you for choosing OLD since we all have reasons for doing what we do but I would advise that you choose one dating site at a time. There is nothing worse than seeing the same person pop up in searches on multiple sites with the same pics and cookie-cutter profile!

 

Maybe other women would disagree but for ME, this was a huge red flag that rendered those men ineligible regardless of how cute or glowing his profile was.

 

Good luck.

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KeepCalmCarryOn
I've done the OLD merry-go-round including Match and eHarmony and at the end of the day, they are ALL THE SAME. Don't buy into the hype that one is infinitely better than another because it's just not true.

 

I'm not going to berate you for choosing OLD since we all have reasons for doing what we do but I would advise that you choose one dating site at a time. There is nothing worse than seeing the same person pop up in searches on multiple sites with the same pics and cookie-cutter profile!

 

Maybe other women would disagree but for ME, this was a huge red flag that rendered those men ineligible regardless of how cute or glowing his profile was.

 

Good luck.

 

Really? I am on POF and OKC now with the same pics and profile lol

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When my semester ends and I have more free time I want to join another dating site. I don't know what to join. My goal is marriage and babies (obviously I won't put that in the profile). I was in Match and nothing really came of it and I have used PoF, OKC and tinder and nothing so I am thinking eharmony.. It's so expensive though! So I am wondering if you have any suggestions?

 

hahahaha your goal is marriage and babies?

Way to put the horse before the cart.

 

Try and having a connection first before you think of any of those

Jumping the gun would just be setting yourself up for pain, both financially and emotionally, and an unstable living situation.

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KeepCalmCarryOn
hahahaha your goal is marriage and babies?

Way to put the horse before the cart.

 

Try and having a connection first before you think of any of those

Jumping the gun would just be setting yourself up for pain, both financially and emotionally, and an unstable living situation.

 

I am getting a Masters so while I want nothing more than to be a stay at home wife and mother I know that if I can't and I end up in a failed marriage I can support myself. Idk I just don't want to wait for forever. I keep saying it but I am 23 I don't have time to build this connection. I need to meet someone ASAP, date for a year or MAYBE a year and a half, get engaged to them, get married to them that already puts me at 26/27 assuming I meet someone in the next 2 months before I turn 24, that would be lucky and I have a sad feeling that won't happen if I was 18 and had all the time in the world to find someone it would be different but I'm not THAT young anymore.

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I am getting a Masters so while I want nothing more than to be a stay at home wife and mother I know that if I can't and I end up in a failed marriage I can support myself. Idk I just don't want to wait for forever. I keep saying it but I am 23 I don't have time to build this connection. I need to meet someone ASAP, date for a year or MAYBE a year and a half, get engaged to them, get married to them that already puts me at 26/27 assuming I meet someone in the next 2 months before I turn 24, that would be lucky and I have a sad feeling that won't happen if I was 18 and had all the time in the world to find someone it would be different but I'm not THAT young anymore.

 

OP you seemed to miss the point of my post.

I'd really like to know though - Why do you want to get married so bad?

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KeepCalmCarryOn
OP you seemed to miss the point of my post.

I'd really like to know though - Why do you want to get married so bad?

 

it would be the best thing ever in my opinion.

Never being lonely, always having someone to do stuff with, sex all the time whenever you want basically and with one person, and love and cute couple activities.

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LostInTheWild
it would be the best thing ever in my opinion.

Never being lonely, always having someone to do stuff with, sex all the time whenever you want basically and with one person, and love and cute couple activities.

 

 

Marriage is work. It is not a fantasy. Although you do have someone to lean on, it isn't easy to always get along, to always sync your sex drives, to always be attracted, to always have butterflies in your stomach, or to always spend time together picking roses in the park while eating homemade sandwiches...Nah, doesn't work that way.

 

Anyway, I've been on Match. Eharmony rejected me.

 

ETA: Life doesn't turn out the way you want it to. If you plan things out in your head, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment.

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KeepCalmCarryOn
Marriage is work. It is not a fantasy. Although you do have someone to lean on, it isn't easy to always get along, to always sync your sex drives, to always be attracted, to always have butterflies in your stomach, or to always spend time together picking roses in the park while eating homemade sandwiches...Nah, doesn't work that way.

 

Anyway, I've been on Match. Eharmony rejected me.

 

ETA: Life doesn't turn out the way you want it to. If you plan things out in your head, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment.

 

Wahh I am just getting so bummed! No online dating site is working and I'm so sick of seeing the same people. My ex just messaged me like wtf.. (well technically he isn't my ex i guess)

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There is nothing worse than seeing the same person pop up in searches on multiple sites with the same pics and cookie-cutter profile!

 

Maybe other women would disagree but for ME, this was a huge red flag that rendered those men ineligible regardless of how cute or glowing his profile was.

 

Good luck.

 

Wouldn't that mean that you have accounts on multiple OLD sites and are searching on all of them?

 

Personally, I am still not sure about OLD. I did pay for 6 months (I think) on Match.com, but haven't uploaded any pics or done anything on it. Mainly it was just because I saw a girl on there that I also saw around my gym in real life and was considering contacting her through match. But in the end, I thought that'd be more awkward than just going up to her in person.

 

OP, you can find time to meet people...including guys, in real life. OLD is mostly a money making scam. People upload themselves and write a few things about what they like and who they are and then the OLD site owners think of ways to limit your ability to do anything with that unless you pay $$$. But I've only looked at Match.com

 

Go out more. Be happy and open. See a guy you like? Don't hide that you like him.

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KeepCalmCarryOn

 

Try having lunch or a snack at the student union. Read a bulletin board so see if there are any grad school mixers. Attend one.

 

As for your belief that marriage fixes a whole host of things, read the marriage, separation & divorce and infidelity boards. Marriage is not an automatic cure.

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KeepCalmCarryOn
Wouldn't that mean that you have accounts on multiple OLD sites and are searching on all of them?

 

Personally, I am still not sure about OLD. I did pay for 6 months (I think) on Match.com, but haven't uploaded any pics or done anything on it. Mainly it was just because I saw a girl on there that I also saw around my gym in real life and was considering contacting her through match. But in the end, I thought that'd be more awkward than just going up to her in person.

 

OP, you can find time to meet people...including guys, in real life. OLD is mostly a money making scam. People upload themselves and write a few things about what they like and who they are and then the OLD site owners think of ways to limit your ability to do anything with that unless you pay $$$. But I've only looked at Match.com

 

Go out more. Be happy and open. See a guy you like? Don't hide that you like him.

 

 

I can't approach guys thats scary and where would I meet these men lol bars? I rarely go to the bar. The grocery store? I just need a way that will definitely attract someone, we will definitely talk and date. A chance encounter can't guarantee that.

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I can't approach guys thats scary and where would I meet these men lol bars? I rarely go to the bar. The grocery store? I just need a way that will definitely attract someone, we will definitely talk and date. A chance encounter can't guarantee that.

 

I met my husband at a networking event. We were both there to drum up business.

 

I read this book when I was single. It was called Guerrilla Dating; it took some concepts from Guerrilla Marketing. Mostly it was about smiling & being friendly, using every opportunity to get your message across: that you are single & open to a good relationship.

 

There are people everywhere in the world. Interact with some of them!

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KeepCalmCarryOn
KeepCalmCarryOn

 

Try having lunch or a snack at the student union. Read a bulletin board so see if there are any grad school mixers. Attend one.

 

As for your belief that marriage fixes a whole host of things, read the marriage, separation & divorce and infidelity boards. Marriage is not an automatic cure.

 

This campus is different than my old campus. Like undergrad I could just drive to the union if I wanted and have lunch and it was close and easy parking not a lot of walking. This campus is different. No parking (very limited) so I have to call a shuttle to come pick me up and take me. It just isn't worth it IMO. Especially when I am on campus 2 days a week. I know I sound like I am being soooo difficult. I'm sorry.

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KeepCalmCarryOn
I met my husband at a networking event. We were both there to drum up business.

 

I read this book when I was single. It was called Guerrilla Dating; it took some concepts from Guerrilla Marketing. Mostly it was about smiling & being friendly, using every opportunity to get your message across: that you are single & open to a good relationship.

 

There are people everywhere in the world. Interact with some of them!

 

How old were you?

 

What was your approach like?

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OLD is a waste. Most of the people on there are just looking for hookups, validation or have tons of baggage. Very rare do I hear about someone having a long lasting relationship through OLD.

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How old were you?

 

What was your approach like?

 

I was 39 when I met DH. The event format had everyone in a circle. You had to introduce yourself, say what your company was & what you did. Remember everyone in that room was trying to drum up new business. He & I were checking each other out through the whole thing but both of us were trying not to get caught. We gravitated toward one another when the formal introductions broke up.

 

Other times, I would simply lap a room once or twice and smile at a few people. If somebody looked interesting I'd simply say hi. Most men will take it from there. The ones who didn't I just moved on.

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KeepCalmCarryOn
OLD is a waste. Most of the people on there are just looking for hookups, validation or have tons of baggage. Very rare do I hear about someone having a long lasting relationship through OLD.

 

It is so stressful.

I actually read an article that a higher percentage of people who meet online breakup than people who don't. That scares me but I figure I might as well do it I am not getting asked out any other way.

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I can't approach guys thats scary and where would I meet these men lol bars? I rarely go to the bar. The grocery store? I just need a way that will definitely attract someone, we will definitely talk and date. A chance encounter can't guarantee that.

 

You don't have to approach. I am not a big supporter of women doing that, but "chance encounter" is all you'll have as a person that doesn't take matters into their own hand. However, you can at least help it along by being approachable.

 

 

When I was in college, most of the women I went out with were not women I met in class. Just on campus. Where do you study? Have lunch? Sit to relax between class? Work out?

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