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Oh lord! A former co-worker brought her baby in for show and tell...


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This former co-worker who is good friends with a current co-worker brought her baby in for show and tell. She doesn't even work here anymore and I've never even talked to her/not even friends with her, so as soon as I saw her in the another row, I immediately got up and went to lunch. Geez...what is the deal here?

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Trying to understand why this bothers you so much. You don't know the woman, you two aren't friends, she dropped in to see another co worker (not you) to show off her baby.

 

People do come and visit previous jobs to say hi. Once in a while I drop by my old job to see the old gang.

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Whenever a coworker past or present brings in a new baby, a child, or even a dog to share with us , I'm pleased. Kind of brightens up an ordinary work day.

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Don't you hate when people show off their baby and it's ugly? And instead of lying you just say "look at the baby!"?

 

Me too. :(

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This has happened at every place I've ever worked. People are normally thrilled.

 

If go as far to say that it's expected in many offices if the woman was working there during her pregnancy.

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I don't think everyone is really thrilled about people showing their kids off at work. I think they're just obligated to act like it since they're in the workplace and a few mothers would be judgy if they didn't. If she was really good friends with those ex-work people, why doesn't she take them to their homes? If they were actual real-life friends, she wouldn't need to bring them to her ex place of employment to see them.

 

While on the subject, I am so sick of having to listen to kid prattle audio on smartphones while I'm trying to work, too. Some of us are actually working....

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I don't think everyone is really thrilled about people showing their kids off at work. I think they're just obligated to act like it since they're in the workplace and a few mothers would be judgy if they didn't. If she was really good friends with those ex-work people, why doesn't she take them to their homes? If they were actual real-life friends, she wouldn't need to bring them to her ex place of employment to see them.

 

While on the subject, I am so sick of having to listen to kid prattle audio on smartphones while I'm trying to work, too. Some of us are actually working....

 

Exactly! Sure, I'm not friends with her, but the fact that she (and some other girls who bring their kids) walk down every row-since we all sit in cubicles, she stops by and basically stands there, I don't care about seeing her kids at all, so if I were to just do work and look at my computer while she is standing there, everybody would think that I'm being rude and "disrespectful" for not looking at her/acknowledging her kid and saying how "cute" she/he is. It would be more proper for me to get up and leave and take 15 minute break as if I wasn't there.

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I think this situation can be very valuable for you. Your reaction to this woman bringing her baby, should give you some insight to why you respond somewhat negatively to what is generally perceived as a positive event.

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Isn't that just a nice thing?

 

I've taken my boys into work a couple of times - the first time people were telling me like "when are we going to get to meet them etc etc". In my experience folk are genuinely happy to see them (and who doesn't love a little break from work). Plus I'm ridiculously proud of my boys, I'm not the type to 'show off' but yeah I want to show my friends the two little men who are a massive part of my life.

 

The other day at work my friend brought his new car in so we went out to have a look.

 

I don't get the issue!

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Isn't that just a nice thing?

 

I've taken my boys into work a couple of times - the first time people were telling me like "when are we going to get to meet them etc etc". In my experience folk are genuinely happy to see them (and who doesn't love a little break from work). Plus I'm ridiculously proud of my boys, I'm not the type to 'show off' but yeah I want to show my friends the two little men who are a massive part of my life.

 

The other day at work my friend brought his new car in so we went out to have a look.

 

I don't get the issue!

I'm with the OP. I think it heavily depends on who the coworker is. If it was someone I really got on with an liked, I would be very happy to have a look at the baby, hold it, whatever. That child is part of the person I really like, good stuff, no worries.

 

However, we can't choose our colleagues, there are plenty I am neutral about or don't even like. One of those women brought in her kid and I went into hiding like the OP. All the pretending to care, cooing and all that with someone I actually dislike (most of us do here, she is weird and pisses off everyone). It was really awkward and unnecessary, no-one cared about her baby. Working with people you don't like is much easier if you are not forced to go beyond necessary boundaries.

 

this woman then came over to my desk as I was eating my lunch (I thought she had left) and plonked her big fat ass next to my food :sick:

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I think this situation can be very valuable for you. Your reaction to this woman bringing her baby, should give you some insight to why you respond somewhat negatively to what is generally perceived as a positive event.

.... or maybe people wrongly assume that everyone likes what they like

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.... or maybe people wrongly assume that everyone likes what they like

And wrongly assume that everyone dislikes what they dislike.

 

Mothers tend to be extremely proud of their children; very happy. They wish to share that joy and the source of it with people they care about, former co-workers included.

 

I don't sympathize with the OP on this one. It feels like bitterness and not an emotionally healthy reason to be upset.

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Well since every issue is a 'you' issue, that's hardly surprising.

As in the solution to the issue resides from solving internal conflicts, not rallying to change external realities.

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And wrongly assume that everyone dislikes what they dislike.

I don't. I recognise that some people like it and some people dislike it. It's the expectation that you should like what a lot of the others do. Why? Just because we share the same breathing space at work? What else? Discuss their marriage problems too? People have the right to be left alone at work and not pretend to be all matey.

Mothers tend to be extremely proud of their children; very happy. They wish to share that joy and the source of it with people they care about, former co-workers included.

And I wish not to share it, I don't care the slightest about babies and children in general. The mothers' desires don't come above mine just because they are mothers. Some mothers I work with never bring their kids in and don't expect current or former co-workers pretend they care. That's because they don't expect every single person around to share their pride and joy. People have their lives, they don't have to give a damn about yours. When you have children one day I can assure you most people will not care the slightest about them.

I don't sympathize with the OP on this one. It feels like bitterness and not an emotionally healthy reason to be upset.

You don't have to sympathise, people can choose to agree or disagree, but to call that emotionally unhealthy just because you don't sympathise seems like you overestimate the value of your own opinion. The same way some mothers overestimate how much others care about their children.

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I don't. I recognise that some people like it and some people dislike it. It's the expectation that you should like what a lot of the others do. Why? Just because we share the same breathing space at work? What else? Discuss their marriage problems too? People have the right to be left alone at work and not pretend to be all matey.

 

And I wish not to share it, I don't care the slightest about babies and children in general. The mothers' desires don't come above mine just because they are mothers. Some mothers I work with never bring their kids in and don't expect current or former co-workers pretend they care. That's because they don't expect every single person around to share their pride and joy. People have their lives, they don't have to give a damn about yours. When you have children one day I can assure you most people will not care the slightest about them.

 

You don't have to sympathise, people can choose to agree or disagree, but to call that emotionally unhealthy just because you don't sympathise seems like you overestimate the value of your own opinion. The same way some mothers overestimate how much others care about their children.

Same goes for you, Emilia.

 

A lot of people find purpose in their lives by sharing them with others. Don't give a damn all you like and slip away from those situations.

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I don't think anyone expects you to join the fuss. If you smile a "nice to see you, and congrats!", you can simple get back to work.

 

But don't expect coworkers to stop asking moms to bring the new baby by the office. Male and female bosses have encouraged this, ime. And don't expect many coworkers to stop enjoying the visits.

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Smthn_Like_Olivia

I'm with a few others. This is a natural occurrence at my work, and it usually happens because "friends" of the parents ASK them to bring the baby up. i.e. "When are you gonna bringing the baby up here so we can see him/her??"

 

Most of us usually have busy lives with our own families at home as well, so its a nice break in the work day to take time out and coddle someone's sweet baby. Those that could care less are not given a 2nd thought or expected to join in.

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Quite often take the kiddies on work locations with me. Usually positive but of course I know the people who dislike this so I make them as uncomfortable as possible?

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Just say 'ah it is so cute I could eat it'. Than eat it since you were about to go for lunch anyway. Babies are super fresh and full of protein so very healthy. And you can totally get away with it pleading insanity.

Edited by Priv
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Quite often take the kiddies on work locations with me. Usually positive but of course I know the people who dislike this so I make them as uncomfortable as possible?

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

 

There's a guy who works at my station who is super uncomfortable around babies so naturally I gave him both of them while I went to check the rota :laugh:

 

 

But obviously I wouldn't do that to someone who I didn't know really well and have that kind of relationship with - I wouldn't be bothered if someone I didn't have much of a relationship with didn't wanna come over and say hi, that's there call, different strokes for different folks an all. But offices have different politics, I work in an environment where you have to be pretty close to your colleagues, you have to trust them, so its a different kind of environment.

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People do this at my workplace too. It doesn't offend me but I'm not a huge fan of it. I don't care if they do it in the lunchroom, but if they come into the actual office it makes me feel uncomfortable because it's more difficult for me to get away. I don't like babies and I'm a horrible liar, so bad of a liar that I can't even say "wow it's so cute" without sounding sarcastic and insincere.

 

 

I think women are expected to act like babies are great, but who cares. You don't have to fake it. I recently went to a family event where there was a baby that everyone ogled over. I was asked several times if I would like to hold the baby. I said "no thanks I'm good," and "not really." Who cares if it's rude. Not everybody is a baby person - though there are some people out there who like to think that something is wrong with you if you aren't. Oh well.

Edited by SpiralOut
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