Decipher this code for me

[AtomZ]

When I try to get a date with women and they tell me.....

 

"You're a good looking guy… You'll find someone one day"

 

What exactly does that mean? If they think I'm good looking why would they pass me off to someone else?

[preraph]

Because they don't feel your personality is right for them, apparently. Hey, it's better than being told "You have a good personality. You'll get a girl some day." At least they think you're good looking.

[AtomZ]

Because they don't feel your personality is right for them, apparently. Hey, it's better than being told "You have a good personality. You'll get a girl some day." At least they think you're good looking.

 

I would love to find anyone in the world that can judge someone's personality after sending two or three messages on a dating site.

 

I think it's just a bullsh*t method for women to give a fake complement and tell me to hit the road at the same time....am I wrong?

Edited September 18, 2014 by AtomZ

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

Yeah, personality... But there is also other things as well.

 

Seeing traits that meet their requirements.

 

Like if you are too easy going, they may think you may not care enough.

 

Another is mental strength, like they expect a man to be able to hold up against a strong wind or two.

 

So I guess to show some confidence time to time, even if you think it may be over baring.

 

Usually you can see what a woman wants by watching their actions and how they speak to you.

 

I usually give the ones who expect such things the polar opposite to show I am not interested in meeting their expectations. As expectations are always a let down no matter if they are yours or theirs.

 

So don't let it bother you, think of it as a quick way to learn that they are not compatible to you.

 

I like to have proof of who a person is by what they do, not by how they do it.

[AtomZ]

Yeah, personality... But there is also other things as well.

 

Seeing traits that meet their requirements.

 

Like if you are too easy going, they may think you may not care enough.

 

Another is mental strength, like they expect a man to be able to hold up against a strong wind or two.

 

So I guess to show some confidence time to time, even if you think it may be over baring.

 

Usually you can see what a woman wants by watching their actions and how they speak to you.

 

I usually give the ones who expect such things the polar opposite to show I am not interested in meeting their expectations. As expectations are always a let down no matter if they are yours or theirs.

 

So don't let it bother you, think of it as a quick way to learn that they are not compatible to you.

 

I like to have proof of who a person is by what they do, not by how they do it.

 

I have no idea what thread you just read… But it sure wasn't mine. Please explain how I'm supposed to go about the polar opposite situation, showing confidence, and all that other stuff when we only interact with a few messages back-and-forth on a dating site?

[me85]

Obviously they aren't the right women for you. Do you know these women or does this happen when you approach a woman for the first time?

 

If it's women you know, then apparently they don't feel a connection with you.

 

Don't let it get you down. At least you still have your good looks! (;

 

AHHHH...O K...just saw where you said it's OLD. Well, I don't have much to say about OLD. As I've never done OLD. Just Tinder and it's not exactly the same thing.

 

Well then forget the OLD thing. Get out in the real world already! (=

Edited September 18, 2014 by me85

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

I have no idea what thread you just read… But it sure wasn't mine. Please explain how I'm supposed to go about the polar opposite situation, showing confidence, and all that other stuff when we only interact with a few messages back-and-forth on a dating site?

 

 

 

Crapp!! I didn't realize this is OLD!! Never mind!

[AtomZ]

Well then forget the OLD thing. Get out in the real world already! (=

 

And how my supposed to go about that? It's always so easy for everyone to give that advice but the reality of it is not so simple.

[ktya]

When I try to get a date with women and they tell me.....

 

"You're a good looking guy… You'll find someone one day"

 

What exactly does that mean? If they think I'm good looking why would they pass me off to someone else?

 

What women say and what they mean are two entirely different things.

 

What they are actually saying is

 

Your not a good looking guy. You'll find someone who thinks your good looking one day.

 

Sorry to break it to you I'm not trying to be mean.

Edited September 18, 2014 by ktya
typo

[AtomZ]

What women say and what they mean are two entirely different things.

 

What they are actually saying is

 

Your not a good looking guy. You'll find someone who thinks your good looking one day.

 

Sorry to break it to you I'm not trying to be mean.

 

Finally someone with some real balls to tell it like it is.

 

90% of the other people on this forum need to step up and follow this lead.

[ktya]

Finally someone with some real balls to tell it like it is.

 

90% of the other people on this forum need to step up and follow this lead.

 

Good on you to take it in stride and not get agro.

 

You will find a woman someday. Keep approaching. In OLD use better pictures.

 

I have a few professional pictures taken of me in a suit for brochures at work and it works like a charm.

[oldshirt]

Here's the direct translation - it means your not a bad looking guy....just not good looking enough for them.

 

And if this is taking place online, it means they got 27 other hits that day from people who might be better so they need to stall for awhile while they check them out.

 

In either case they may have some friend with a "nice personality" that they think you would be a perfect match for.

 

The good news is you are getting an at least curteous response so that means they don't find you creepy or weird. You just need to boost up your first impressions a little more and maybe dial down your target group a little.

 

If this is occurring in online dating, your picture(s) are 99.9999999999999% of what is going to make or break you so no selfies in the bathroom mirror and put a lot of effort into looking your best and only putting up the best pics possible.

 

I'd even recommend getting professional pics taken, just be sure to have them make them look like they are not professional.

[AtomZ]

your picture(s) are 99.9999999999999% of what is going to make or break you so no selfies in the bathroom mirror and put a lot of effort into looking your best and only putting up the best pics possible.

.

 

Thats true....and the pictures that women look for most are the pics of the guy in a social envorment with friends/coworkers, etc.

 

The only drawback to this...is that many guys do not run around snapping pics of each other the way women do with their friends.

 

Also, age comes into play as well. Older people like myself (43), are no where near as pic happy as the younger generations.

 

I have never had anyone take pics of me or my friends when we are out doing whatever.

[Quiet Storm]

You don't inspire feelings in them. They don't feel a sexual connection to you. It may have nothing to do with your looks.

 

What do you talk about? If they are saying "you're good looking, you'll find someone", what prompts this? Are you complaining about not having anyone? Do you seem unsure of yourself? Do you say you're lonely?

 

You can't just be nice, available and decent looking. You have to figure out how to inspire sexual attraction.

 

Women want to feel like you have lots of options, but choose them above all others. Many women won't value men if they feel like your only option. If you seem desperate, lonely or down on yourself, or you complain a lot, they may empathize and feel sorry for you, but they won't want to be physical with you.

[AtomZ]

You don't inspire feelings in them. They don't feel a sexual connection to you. It may have nothing to do with your looks.

 

What do you talk about? If they are saying "you're good looking, you'll find someone", what prompts this? Are you complaining about not having anyone? Do you seem unsure of yourself? Do you say you're lonely?

 

You can't just be nice, available and decent looking. You have to figure out how to inspire sexual attraction.

 

Women want to feel like you have lots of options, but choose them above all others. Many women won't value men if they feel like your only option. If you seem desperate, lonely or down on yourself, or you complain a lot, they may empathize and feel sorry for you, but they won't want to be physical with you.

 

 

I'll be single forever then...because all of that crap that you say a guy needs to do is nothing but a bunch of games and marketing.

 

Why would I do all that, and build her up when I dont even know if shes worth dating yet?

 

Thats what I dont understand. Guys do all that crap based on her looks alone....because they sure as hell havent had time to get to know her yet. But at the same time, women whine that they want a guy to like them for who they are instead of their body....but when a guy tries to do that he gets shunned for it.

 

Am I the only one that sees all of this dating crap as a multiple cluster f*** of contradictions????

[whichwayisup]

When I try to get a date with women and they tell me.....

 

"You're a good looking guy… You'll find someone one day"

 

What exactly does that mean? If they think I'm good looking why would they pass me off to someone else?

 

You're good looking, but I am not sexually attracted to you.

 

That's what that means.

[whichwayisup]

I'll be single forever then...because all of that crap that you say a guy needs to do is nothing but a bunch of games and marketing.

Then don't go marketing yourself *just* online. Go out and put energy out there. When you're grocery shopping, just be aware of who's around you.

 

Join that meetup group, if you have a hobby (tennis, squash, basketball, painting etc) that's a good way of connecting and getting to know others.

 

Ask friends to set you up too.

 

Relying on line dating sites too much can do damage to your self esteem.

[AtomZ]

Then don't go marketing yourself *just* online. Go out and put energy out there. When you're grocery shopping, just be aware of who's around you.

 

99% of women do not want to be bothered at the grocery store. People need to stop spreading false info.

 

Join that meetup group

Meetup groups only work in large metro envirments. Not everyone lives near a lage metro enviroment.

 

 

if you have a hobby (tennis, squash, basketball, painting etc) that's a good way of connecting and getting to know others.

I have hobbies....but women do not like or hang around the hobbies I have.

 

Ask friends to set you up too.

Dont have any real friends that would do that for me.

[me85]

What do you mean "how do I go about doing that?" ? Have you been in a RS before? Do you just prefer OLD?

 

I'm happy single. If I wanted to be in a RS, I would be. I would go out with friends and family and meet people. If it happens, great! It happens…if it doesn't, great! It doesn't.

 

In your case (since you obviously want to meet someone) you should exhaust all scenarios to make it happen. You're not having any luck doing what you're doing so just try something else.

[AtomZ]

What do you mean "how do I go about doing that?" ? Have you been in a RS before? Do you just prefer OLD?

 

I'm happy single. If I wanted to be in RS, I would be.

 

In your case (since you obviously want to meet someone) you should exhaust all scenarios to make it happen. You're not having any luck doing what you're doing so just try something else.

 

Am I supposed to know what RS stands for ?? Theres nothing more annoying than people on a message board that use abbreviations, and just assume that everyone else in the world knows exactly what they mean.

[me85]

Ok, ok, simmer down now. RS means relationship. (=

 

Just breathe…we're trying to help.

[whichwayisup]

Every single thing I suggested, you came up with a negative. This might actually be why you're not having luck dating right now. Instead of that glass half empty, try half full.

 

99% of women do not want to be bothered at the grocery store. People need to stop spreading false info.

Hmm, you'd be surprised how people can connect with eye contact. IF two people are single and 'click', so be it if they were in the same line up while waiting to pay for groceries.

 

Meetup groups only work in large metro envirments. Not everyone lives near a lage metro enviroment.

 

Do you have a car?

 

 

I have hobbies....but women do not like or hang around the hobbies I have.

 

Can you give me an example of your hobby that you do that women don't like?

 

Dont have any real friends that would do that for me.

 

Family members then?

[OwMyEyeball]

Holy ...

 

From the 17 posts you've thrown up here so far here's my view:

 

You're a belligerent, antagonizing, condescending, ungrateful and clueless a-hole

 

You think the world's got it out for you and carry that around with you everywhere you go. Your dates fail before they even start. What gets you in the door is your looks. What tanks each opportunity is your attitude and general outlook on life and women.

 

Others are being patient with you, but since you're so quick to shoot anyone down who even tries to offer some advice I'm going to give you what you're asking for: a blunt, honest opinion

[AtomZ]

Every single thing I suggested, you came up with a negative. This might actually be why you're not having luck dating right now. Instead of that glass half empty, try half full. ?

 

Its not a "negative"....its my reality.

 

If theres no bridge to cross a river....and I state, we need to go the long way around, its going to take a whole day.....is that being negative, or is it simply being realistic?

 

People ALWAYS label my realistic comments as negative....because the whole damn world is spoiled with all of you sugarcoating every damn thing you say to each other.

 

 

 

 

Do you have a car? ?

 

Yes I have a car, but thats irrellevent since its pointless to drive a distance to go to a meetup group and meet women that live no where near me.

 

 

 

Can you give me an example of your hobby that you do that women don't like??

 

I have a car that I drag race at the local track. The only women that are ever there are a few wives of other drivers.

 

 

Family members then?

 

My family members arent bright enough for that and I sure as hell wouldnt meet someone that they set me up with any ways.

[me85]

The question still remains…have you ever been in a serious relationship?

 

If so, why did it fail? What did you learn from it? And can you try to see where people that view as … whatever … are coming from?

 

The first thing you have to do is look at your flaws and measure them. Are they bad enough to be a deal breaker? Could you have done something differently?

 

Gota let the frustration you feel about not having "luck" meeting someone-go. Tell yourself you'll be more open minded to people's advice. That's the first step to fixing a personal problem.