Shaving more often because of my crush

[Darren2013]

Well there's one way I hopefully can send a subtle signal of interest to my crush and that is shaving more regularly. I normally shave once every 10 days. Now I have been shaving every 3-4 days.

 

I remember awhile back complimenting me when I did shave saying that I probably feel like a new man. Well there's a hint right there that she prefers men without facial hair. So I have made more of an effort to be conscious about that.

 

This will send a signal to her. Obviously alot better than the ideas I had in the past about mailing in anonymous gifts. Changing my physical appearance will not put my job at risk. This is non verbal signals of interest without worrying about sexual harassment accusations.

 

I also purchased a brand new set of work clothes too. I noticed that she did the same thing about a week later. Perhaps that's another sign of her mirroring my behavior but it isn't convincing enough. That can still be explained away for coincidence. It may have just been a coincidence that she felt it was time to get a new set of work clothes.

 

There's not enough evidence of a haunting at this time. No need to bring in the EVP equipment or EMF meters yet. I'm still observing this thing like a paranormal cop.

[Emilia]

Haha you sound exactly like my ex at work, except he keeps his beard because he knows I like it (even though it's a pain to keep maintaining it) and he pays much more attention to his hair, dresses smart, etc. We both stepped it up, in fact. I got into more creative dressing because I know he likes hipster stuff.

 

It's kinda fun.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

I thought you were bringing up being a baldy for a crush. You never know what men will do for a a woman. Hehehehehe!!!

 

Your lucky... I can barely manage 5 days without needing to shave and get away with it at work. Funny thing is there has not been one woman I have been with that did not like my change up. So making a sudden change like shaving more often is not something I can do to be noticed.

 

I remember by chance meeting while away for a concert. The waitress for my stop at breakfast noticed my look that day, and the day after she looked so surprised by how I cleaned up with short hair and the lack of a beard. I never asked her which look she preferred. Though if I asked her before I left the day before, she would have jumped at going to the sold out concert. Of all things a southern girl out in the sticks that likes Tool. Go figure???

[Gloria25]

You sure she likes clean shaven or she was just complimenting you?

 

I mean, in the workplace it is proper for guys to keep it shaved - but I like it when a guy lets it grow out a little when he's off work, which is usually the weekends It's kinda like 'I'm professional during the week, but wild on the weekends'....

[Darren2013]

Well I finally re-imitated contact with her today. I said hello to her and she sounded very happy to hear from me.

 

I don't know why I did it but the draw towards her just seems to get stronger and it is like something inside me was pulling me to say hi to her today. I felt like I was going to continue feeling uneasy if I didn't at least say hi to her.

 

To be honest I was already prepared that she would give me the cold shoulder or give a rude response after she had already been avoiding me at times this past month. But that didn't happen. She smiled and seemed happy. I didn't talk about the long period of silence. I just pretended like nothing happened.

 

So about 1/2 an hour later she initiates small talk with me asking me if I had a good day and stuff.

 

So we are back on friendly terms for now. I'm trying not to have any expectations about anything and just test the waters with friendly talk and see what happens. We said bye to each other at the end of the work shift.

 

Oh she did mention something tonight about trying to get another job at one of the hotels around here. So depending on how well that goes she may not be working the same job as me much longer. Which means the workplace factor may not be a factor much longer and that won't be as much of a hindrance in us being together assuming that the feelings are mutual. But the first priority is making sure she feels the same way first. The other stuff can be worried about down the road.

[Weezy1973]

Darren - let me give you the only advice you'll need to know about a crush.

 

Ask her out on a date. Immediately.

 

You think crushes happen all the time? Trust me they don't. When that kooky attraction happens you absolutely have to take action. It's rare, and it's special.

 

Truth is, she might say no. But that is such a blessing, as (after the initial hurt goes away) you'll be able to move on. It's basically a win/win. Either you get a date with your crush (which is awesome!!!), or you find out she's not interested and you can move on (and hopefully develop a new crush!!!).

 

And stop worrying about the work thing. Who cares? Random fact - work is a great place to find your life partner. More marriages start from people meeting at work than anywhere else...

[Darren2013]

Just because marriages work out from the workplace in some cases does not mean it is the ideal situation to meet someone for a relationship. However if one or the other person plans to leave that job in the near future then that's okay.

 

But I won't be asking her out until one of us has left the same job first. It won't be until 1-2 weeks after one of us leaves. Until then there's no reason not to be on friendly terms. I gotta start somewhere anyway. Besides I miss sharing my snacks with her.

Edited September 17, 2014 by Darren2013

[Darren2013]

Fate has a way of giving us incentives to push us out of our comfort zone. Whatever incentive is needed then so be it. When the alternative is far more unpleasant then you will muster up the courage to do what you normally would not do. In my case I never would have broken the ice to talk to her if the constant restless feeling and uneasiness wasn't there. It has been there day after day and it was increasingly annoying.

[Weezy1973]

Fate has a way of giving us incentives to push us out of our comfort zone. Whatever incentive is needed then so be it. When the alternative is far more unpleasant then you will muster up the courage to do what you normally would not do. In my case I never would have broken the ice to talk to her if the constant restless feeling and uneasiness wasn't there. It has been there day after day and it was increasingly annoying.

 

Ask her out on a date.

[Gloria25]

Ask her out on a date.

 

Eh, not sure if that's quite ready now... I mean, they're still co-workers, if it fizzles then too much drama.

 

Besides, he's worked with her for years and really hasn't chatted with her. For him to go from 0 to 60 might not work well?

 

I say he should continue to be friendly for a while and work up to it. Maybe one day he can come in and say 'there's X movie coming out, if she wants to check it out with him'.

 

Gradual build up....

[Darren2013]

Eh, not sure if that's quite ready now... I mean, they're still co-workers, if it fizzles then too much drama.

 

Besides, he's worked with her for years and really hasn't chatted with her. For him to go from 0 to 60 might not work well?

 

I say he should continue to be friendly for a while and work up to it. Maybe one day he can come in and say 'there's X movie coming out, if she wants to check it out with him'.

 

Gradual build up....

 

I used to chat with her all the time for years actually but that was before my feelings for her started to progress. The same with her. The long period of silence is unusual for us and even limited contact is unusual. But I agree with keeping it back to friendly level and pretend like nothing happened the last 6 weeks with going quiet on each other and playing avoiding games or the quick look at each other game when we think the other person isn't looking and then looking away when we catch each other.

[preraph]

Darren - let me give you the only advice you'll need to know about a crush.

 

Ask her out on a date. Immediately.

 

You think crushes happen all the time? Trust me they don't. When that kooky attraction happens you absolutely have to take action. It's rare, and it's special.

 

Truth is, she might say no. But that is such a blessing, as (after the initial hurt goes away) you'll be able to move on. It's basically a win/win. Either you get a date with your crush (which is awesome!!!), or you find out she's not interested and you can move on (and hopefully develop a new crush!!!).

 

And stop worrying about the work thing. Who cares? Random fact - work is a great place to find your life partner. More marriages start from people meeting at work than anywhere else...

 

I agree with the above if only for the reason that ripping the Band-Aid off quickly will save more wasted time. Wasted if she likes you and has been wondering WTF you're waiting for and wasted if she doesn't like you that way and will keep you from spending any more time barking up a tree.

[Haydn]

Dazza, i shave everyday mate. Keep it up. Chin like a babies bum. Cannot go wrong. (Usually, unless this fad of beards keeps up)

[Darren2013]

I will only ask her out once I am prepared for the rejection. I don't think it is a good idea to ask someone out until you are mentally prepared for the rejection.

 

But I suppose an update is due. She and I continue to be very similar in our behavior towards each other. It has gotten to a point now where we do not look at each other unless it is sneak peeking. I've caught her sneak peeking at me sometimes only to look down quickly when I turn around and catch her. I think she has caught me a few times too because I look away quickly too.

 

If my suspicions are correct then we are too much alike when dealing with a crush and at the rate we are going it will take 5000 years to get to that first date. The stalemate in this game continues. At least we are saying hi and bye to each other now.

 

But again due to other external factors present such as working the same job and the age difference (she is older than my own mother) it is understandable and justifiable that there needs to be alot of time to think things over before asking her out or her asking me out.

 

It has only been 6 weeks since feelings/attraction has woken up inside of me for her. All these years before that I could talk to her normally as a friend. Maybe that's part of the problem. I developed feelings because I spent so much time working closely with her. Therefore I am doing the right thing to keep a distance from her indefinitely until I figure out what I am going to do with the recent progression of feelings.

 

Asking someone out immediately and on a whim is not always the right answer. And if there's any chance that she is frustrated and wondering what I am waiting for then so be it. There's still alot to think over even if the signs become stronger over time that she is really interested.

 

I may even accept a date with someone else as a test to see if that will help get my mind off of her.

 

Some might say I over think things but I beg to differ. I am a critical thinker and I strive to improve my critical thinking skills in all areas of life. If that means I run the risk of over thinking then it is better than not thinking before doing something. If I am not sure what to do then I do nothing until I think long and critical about it.

Edited September 28, 2014 by Darren2013