How do I respond to flirty comments such as these?

[Eddy Street]

My main problem is that I have zero experience with dating or even talking to women outside of a strictly formal setting. A girl I recently met on match started to flirt with me and I just didn't know how to reciprocate it, even if I wanted to. Here are some things that she did/said.

 

One time, over the phone, were were discussing our plans to see each other in the coming days. The weather-forecast was cold and I expressed my concern about this since our date involved doing things outdoors, like walking and looking at the stars. She replied by saying "don't worry, I'll keep you warm". I laughed at this. Later on in that same conversation she again said that we could "keep each other warm". I just didn't know what to say, so I said "okay".

 

The next time we saw each-other, she made more flirty comments. One of her comments was that hearing me speak in another language was really sexy. Again, I was at a loss for words. I said something really stupid, like "foreign languages are exotic". Nah, really?

 

Here are some other examples of stuff she did, that I had no idea how to react to:

 

* We were walking and I said, "it might get cold later" and she bumped up agianst me and said "I got you"

 

* We were playing pool, I got absent-minded and hit the wrong ball. She laughed, I said "I guess I got too focused on the song playing". She said "I hoped I was the one who distracted you". Again, I replied by saying something incredibly stupid, like "maybe I'm just embarrassed to say it".

 

* Then she flat out leaned against me, grabbing me in a very suggestive way, while I just stood there like a monument, gave a halfhearted laugh and... I don't even know what happened next.

 

* Then, we went on the bus and I told her how to pay and all that. This was her first time taking a bus. She said "you popped my bus cherry", again, I didn't reply at all, just smiled.

 

Later, when we were walking together, I mentioned that my mom might have to give us a ride and drop her off at the train station (since my mom was working downtown that evening) if it got too crazy on the streets to feel safe. She said "maybe by the time this evening is over you may not want me to meet your mom", then she also said "If I had know I was going to meet your mom, I wouldn't have worn something so well cut" referring to her blouse.

 

Anyway, that was the end of it. I guess I killed any attraction she had to me. Which was sort of my intention anyway, since this was going WAY too fast for my comfort. But, if in the future I'm with a girl who I'm really interested in romantically, I need to know how to respond. I'm just so awkward and my experience is so limited. I feel like I need to take a class or something.

Edited September 14, 2014 by Eddy Street

[preraph]

Well, she was very flirty. She let you know in no uncertain terms she liked you, so that's always nice. To the keeping warm comments, I'd have just echoed that back to her and maybe put an arm around her. Not sure what you mean by grabbed you suggestively. If it was actually below the belt in front, I'd be suspicious she might be a pro or something. But if it was anywhere else, I'd just say flirty. A nonslutty friend of mine used to drive men crazy by putting her hand on their stomach and when it came down to it, it promised absolutely nothing, but it was a very flirty gesture. I guess the appropriate response is to grab her back.

 

Like you said, for you, she was moving too fast. I'm sure there are at least a dozen guys on this board who are crying right now wondering why this girl never happens to them. Hah. But in reality, she's probably scare them too.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

So that is being flurty... now i get it. Geezo, like nobody could explain that to me.

 

 

 

Well i just thought they were teasing me or something like a dare. Though, if somebody that was very interested in sex, they usually just come out and ask. Not that i get that all the time, just once you are use to being asked, you think them odd comments are bogus.

 

 

 

 

Finally i learned something here, and unexpaectedly as well.

[Mister Zen]

Act how you feel and you will get someone who like you for you. Manipulate, play games and use facades if you want to get someone who likes the fake you.

[Eddy Street]

Act how you feel and you will get someone who like you for you. Manipulate, play games and use facades if you want to get someone who likes the fake you.

 

Okay, I see. Thanks.

 

What I'm actually looking for here how a more experienced man would reply to those particular flirty comments and acts. This is a kind of "what would you do in that particular scenario?" question.

 

I really need help.

[gaius]

I don't think there are any real right or wrong answers. You have to base it off your own personality. Like for the comment about her distracting you, I'd probably reply with something about what feature of hers might have distracted me. But I'm pretty straightforward and blunt, if I like her ass I'll tell her I like her ass. Not every girl is into guys that are that blunt. Using it if you're not only hurts you in the long run.

Edited September 14, 2014 by gaius

[Mister Zen]

Okay, I see. Thanks.

 

What I'm actually looking for here how a more experienced man would reply to those particular flirty comments and acts. This is a kind of "what would you do in that particular scenario?" question.

 

I really need help.

 

I'll give you how I would react, but if you do this and it doesn't work for you, don't put it on me.

 

* We were walking and I said, "it might get cold later" and she bumped up agianst me and said "I got you"

 

--No response.

 

* We were playing pool, I got absent-minded and hit the wrong ball. She laughed, I said "I guess I got too focused on the song playing". She said "I hoped I was the one who distracted you". Again, I replied by saying something incredibly stupid, like "maybe I'm just embarrassed to say it".

 

--I would say: "You'd love that. Wouldn't you?"

 

* Then she flat out leaned against me, grabbing me in a very suggestive way, while I just stood there like a monument, gave a halfhearted laugh and... I don't even know what happened next.

 

--I would say: "Are you trying to seduce me?"

 

* Then, we went on the bus and I told her how to pay and all that. This was her first time taking a bus. She said "you popped my bus cherry", again, I didn't reply at all, just smiled.

 

--I would laugh. That really is a funny comment.