Was he interested or am I just delusional?

[LifeandPerseverance]

I’m writing this to either have somebody tell me I’m delusional, or if I have a basis for thinking this.

 

 

To make a long story as short as possible: I just moved across the country to attend professional school. I’m going to school close to the area I was born in and spent my early childhood. When my family lived here, we had a great neighbor family--They had a son a year older. Not only did our parents get along really well, he and I did too. We were together almost every day and I have many memories of him before we moved around my 7th birthday. He also is the creator of the nickname I’m STILL CALLED to this day as an adult.

My family stops and says hi every time we're in the area (my mom’s family also lives close). So we’ve seen the neighbors(and occasionally, the son) every year or so. Last summer, while we were talking to his parents, he came out on the porch, and out of the group of us standing there, walked up and hugged just me without a word.

I’m friends with him on facebook, and he periodically likes my pics and posts and vice a versa. I messaged him in May and we talked a little, catching up. He’s now an engineer. Secretly, I’ve always thought he was nice looking, and interesting.

 

 

Anyways, fast forward to present day..I moved in last week,and at my new place my younger brother (who helped me move) and I were building a storage shed. We couldn’t finish the roof, despite our best efforts and the instructions weren’t making sense. Out of frustration and desperation, we thought of the neighbor. I DIDN'T want to contact him--As counterproductive as it sounds, because I harbor this secret interest I feel it's better not to see him to avoid rejection and I didn’t want to bother him, but my brother begged, and I facebook messaged him. No response (it showed he hadn't opened it) not unusual—he gets on fb about once a month, so we called his parents house and his mom gave me his cell phone number. She also said quote “Now he’s not going to answer, he’s really bad about his phone and facebook and doesn’t even answer for me. But if you keep after him, and keep calling or leave a message, you might get him.” He lives about 45 miles away, but comes up to his parents almost every weekend (he just moved into a new apartment and his mom says he doesn’t have laundry at his new place yet). I was too chicken to call, so I told my brother to do it, and he did, and of course the guy didn’t answer and he left a voicemail. We figured that was that. But then he called back a couple hours later, and he and my brother talked for 20 minutes nonstop—not uncommon for my BROTHER, but uncommon for this guy, who’s not a phone person,and typically pretty quiet. Additionally, these two have hardly ever talked before. When my brother got off the phone he told me the guy didn’t even hesitate—he was coming to help us finish the shed and move stuff in a couple days later.

 

 

Sure enough, he came when he said he would. He hugged me hello (didn’t hug my brother?), and helped us build the shed and move furniture.Over the 5 hours he was there…I was very impressed the more I talked to him. He’s super nice. Interesting, funny, smart. Later my brother told me he kept asking things about me while they were building (and I was inside cleaning and unpacking). Just casual things he’d sneak into the conversation. At the end of night, we hugged (again, my brother didn’t get one), he asked for my phone number (obviously he had my brother’s and not mine until that point), and then said, “We really should hang out.” Then left. I texted him thank you that night for the help, and haven’t heard anything since.

 

 

That was last Thursday. There’s something I want to invite him to next weekend, but before I do…Did he sound like he was interested? Or am I wishful thinking? I should note..He drove all the way up from where he lives(45 miles each way) just to help with my shed. Even though he had to work early the next morning. I haven’t heard from him, but like I said, he’s a civil engineer who works full time, and even according to his own mother is not a phone or social media person. And I’m assuming he didn’t come up last weekend because he’s been up here the last 2 weekends in a row (also told my mom), and the shed building trip.

Do I have a leg to stand on here, or am I delusional? It’s ridiculous—it’s like the older I get, the worse I get at being able to tell about these things. I'm 23, he's 24.

Edited August 21, 2014 by LifeandPerseverance

[Mr Scorpio]

I think you do have a leg to stand on in that not everyone would drive that far to help someone given the situation. However, his not responding to the text is not a good sign.

 

I would send one more text as a follow-up incase he somehow missed the first. At the same time, I wouldn't get my hopes up. If he is interested he would have responded.

[preraph]

I'm not psychic, but he asked to hang out, so you have something you need an escort to, so you should just invite him and not make a big deal about it and just hang out and see what happens. Don't go into it thinking it's a date-date, no way to know for sure. But maybe being alone with him and you dressed up all pretty with heels on......you might cause some neurons to fire up.

 

By the way, calling an engineer to help finish a storage shed is definitely overkill. Hah. I'm sure this amused him.

[LifeandPerseverance]

To elaborate a little bit about the text I sent him--my phone was dead when he got my phone number, so I couldn't put him in my phone. So I told him to send me a text, and then I'd have his number, too, when I charged the battery on my phone. That was at 11 at night. I didnt get a chance to charge my phone til about 11:30, and that's when it turned on, I got his text and sent the text saying "thank you again and good night". The odd part? The text I sent turned green--he has an iPhone, as do I--all imessaged turn blue, UNLESS the recipients phone is dead, turned off, or in do not disturb/airplane mode. So I think his phone was either dead or he's turned it off for the night--he gets up at 6 am and had a long drive ahead of him (he stayed up here at his folks for the night--which means he would have had an even longer drive to work in the AM) Either way? I'm 99% he was asleep already and that's why he never responded? Does that sound reasonable?

 

And no, we didnt call for his help on the shed because he's an engineer--haha we called him because he's the only person we knew in the area and my 20 year old brother was about to have a meltdown after we spent all weekend on this thing and couldn't get the roof just right. And this guy was a huge help.

 

The thing I want to invite him to is a county fair. So nothing fancy--me in jeans.

[LifeandPerseverance]

OP here. So since that last post...My dad came back to help me renovate where I'm living, and he invited the guy to go flying (my dad is a pilot). Or more precisely, he decided last weekend that I should text and call the guy to make plans to invite him flying. He was really easy to talk to on the phone, and at the airport--he's just a really cool guy.

 

 

Anyways, while we were saying goodbyes (and shortly before he hugged me), I worked up the nerve to ask him if he was going to be in town the upcoming weekend for the fair, and if he would wanna go with me. He was very noncommittal, but later my dad was like "Oh he said he would go with you to the fair."

 

 

I texted him on Wednesday to say it had been great to see him last weekend, remind him about the upcoming fair and say if he was in town it would be cool to go. He texted me back and was like "I may be in town on Saturday. If I am I'll let you know for sure."

 

 

So I thought..Okay...That's his way of saying "no please no." That's totally okay.

But then yesterday afternoon, he texted me and said, "Hey I'm trying to decide when we should go to the fair. I think we should go before 6. What are your thoughts?"

It took me hours to write him back LAST NIGHT (because I'm so inept I couldn't figure out what to say), and was like "Okay what do you think that's fine with me."

 

 

He wrote back today...NOT TIL NOON. "I'll come over around 4, and then we can head over to the fair for a few hours. I have something I need to do a little after 6 though."

 

I felt the sliver of hope I had vanish. Guys...don't you not put hanging out with a chick on a timeline, with a set end time, unless you already are NOT interested? That's what I, as a woman, read in that text.

[Mr Scorpio]

I felt the sliver of hope I had vanish. Guys...don't you not put hanging out with a chick on a timeline, with a set end time, unless you already are NOT interested? That's what I, as a woman, read in that text.

 

 

Or he is reading books to the elderly, or building a model train with a cancer stricken child, or needs to go shopping for food, or tend to something work related, or...

 

 

OTOH, it is safe to say that if he were interested that he'd put forth every effort to clear his schedule. Maybe your signals haven't been strong enough. Maybe he is not great at reading signals. Maybe he is gay. Lots of possibilities.