13 signs a shy guy likes you

[Darren2013]

 

The young lady who did this video I think did a very good job on identifying some signs a shy guy likes a certain woman. This video might help shed some light on what's really going on if you are a woman who has a crush on a guy but you are not sure if he likes you back. Keep an open mind and don't try to dismiss the subtle signs if a guy does 2 or more of these.

 

The general theme of this video is that shy guys tend to overdo it when it comes to concealing their high interest level. They make every effort to appear uninterested in a woman that they really like.

 

I am one of those shy guys in the video who does some of these things. Although I disagree with the author about shy guys showing up at places where they know she will be. I don't do that and not all shy guys do that. I know better and wouldn't take the chance of my crush seeing right through what I'm doing if I made an excuse to show up at certain places. If anything I seek to avoid the places I know she will be.

[Darren2013]

I beg to differ. The issue has nothing to do with shyness. It has everything to do with initial attraction. If the woman is not initially attracted to the guy then it's a moot point whether he's confident or shy.

 

Women are just as responsible for going after what they want as men are. The point is if there's a mutual attraction then one of the two of them has to break the ice at some point. There's no more or less of a reason why a woman can't break the ice than the man should if the attraction is mutual.

[Darren2013]

All you have to do is read the dating section of this board anyway to know where women post "Is he just not into me or is he shy?" There's all kinds of threads about that asking for input. Obviously she likes the guy or she wouldn't have bothered to start a thread asking for advice. Well this video might help shed some light on what's going on. This video is just one angle just in case she is missing the signs that the guy really likes her.

 

I spoke to a friend on facebook earlier today and he told me that he concealed his feelings for a certain woman for over 2 years. On the outward surface he never gave any signs that he really liked her. As far as everyone knew he just liked her as a friend so he pretty much friend-zoned himself for 2 years before finally opening up to her. Well they are still together to this day. Been married for 12 years. The point is he wasted 2 years before breaking the ice.

Edited August 20, 2014 by Darren2013

[preraph]

Unfortunately, my experience with shy guys is they tend to spy on you before they even know you rather than talk to you, even to the point of stalking, or they try to latch onto their friends' girlfriends especially after a breakup, taking advantage of their friend already having brought the woman into their periphery who would not otherwise be there and trading on that remote relationship to get next to them. Neither one of those things is good or healthy. It's just creepy. Shy guys are often far from harmless. Plus if they do manage to land you, they're hell to break up with because then their whole identity is tied up in having had you as a girlfriend. No thanks, I'm trying to quit.

[Darren2013]

So you are going to be quick to dismiss what she says because of her age? Doesn't sound like you want to keep an open mind that maybe you can learn something from someone younger than yourself.

 

Anyway I agree with her that shy guys tend to make better boyfriends and husbands in the long run and they are much more likely to be a gentleman when taking a woman out on dates. They don't pressure her for sex. Matter of fact they probably have no problem waiting indefinitely for sex. He's probably going to have a real flexible attitude about the sexual aspect. Meaning "if she wants to wait awhile before we have sex that's fine. If she wants to do it on the first date that's fine too. Whatever she feels most comfortable doing".

 

They are more likely to put her needs and desires above his own. After-all a relationship is not for selfish people. It's only for people who are looking for opportunities to give of themselves and do whatever it takes to make their partner comfortable.

 

My own Dad is a very dedicated career Marine. When it comes to women he was very shy. He told me all kinds of stories about his hesitancy to ask my Mom out but nevertheless he is a devoted husband and father to this day. It just goes to show that even Military training doesn't help burn out shy feelings around women.

[Darren2013]

Unfortunately, my experience with shy guys is they tend to spy on you before they even know you rather than talk to you, even to the point of stalking, or they try to latch onto their friends' girlfriends especially after a breakup, taking advantage of their friend already having brought the woman into their periphery who would not otherwise be there and trading on that remote relationship to get next to them. Neither one of those things is good or healthy. It's just creepy. Shy guys are often far from harmless. Plus if they do manage to land you, they're hell to break up with because then their whole identity is tied up in having had you as a girlfriend. No thanks, I'm trying to quit.

 

Well that's not a shy guy then. That sounds more like a stalker. I don't think this video is addressing much about the context of the shy guys you are talking about. There are shy guys that go out of their way to avoid the woman they like. Some of them wouldn't even tell their friends that they like this woman.

 

And there are stalkers who are loud mouths too. As far as guys having a hard time accepting a break up? That's being needy which has nothing to do with the level of shyness. Neediness and shyness are 2 different things.

Edited August 20, 2014 by Darren2013

[Imported]

Women are just as responsible for going after what they want as men are. The point is if there's a mutual attraction then one of the two of them has to break the ice at some point. There's no more or less of a reason why a woman can't break the ice than the man should if the attraction is mutual.

 

 

This is true and most women do. Just not how you're thinking.

 

When I see a girl that I sometimes catch the vibe that she likes me, but any effort I put towards her results in a blank return or a mask of indifference/uninterest, I treat her as if she has no interest in me and well, that's it. I am not here to break her out of her shell.

 

Here is the reason why a shy girl should actually try and not expect me to look past her mask of indifference........it's because there are other women out there that I deem just as viable and they will return my interest with interest and my dealings with them is nice and enjoyable for us both and not some one sided ordeal. This is not to say that all shy girls are hard to deal with. Just the "ice queens" that are not really ice queens, but are just shy. I'm not gonna bother with you.

 

 

So why should you ask a girl out instead of expecting her to break you out of your shell? Because I will ask her out while you remain the guy that just thinks about it.

[Darren2013]

This is true and most women do. Just not how you're thinking.

 

When I see a girl that I sometimes catch the vibe that she likes me, but any effort I put towards her results in a blank return or a mask of indifference/uninterest, I treat her as if she has no interest in me and well, that's it. I am not here to break her out of her shell.

 

Here is the reason why a shy girl should actually try and not expect me to look past her mask of indifference........it's because there are other women out there that I deem just as viable and they will return my interest with interest and my dealings with them is nice and enjoyable for us both and not some one sided ordeal. This is not to say that all shy girls are hard to deal with. Just the "ice queens" that are not really ice queens, but are just shy. I'm not gonna bother with you.

 

 

So why should you ask a girl out instead of expecting her to break you out of your shell? Because I will ask her out while you remain the guy that just thinks about it.

 

 

The risk of other guys asking her out is not enough of an incentive to give me a push to ask a woman out much faster. Besides just because another dude asks her out it doesn't mean he's asking her to marry him. He's just asking her out on the date. That date may be successful and turn into a long term relationship and marriage between the two of them or it might not.

 

So I still have a 50/50 chance with her even AFTER another guy asks her out. If I see another guy asking her out it doesn't prove one way or the other how long it's going to last. She may decide after the first date that she doesn't like him for other reasons in spite of his boldness to ask her out. In that scenario I still have more time to think it over. Boldness or shyness is not the only factor here.

 

So yeah the risk is there but it doesn't mean a definitive blow to my chances just because I take longer to think about it. And if the other guy is successful in getting her to marry him in the long run then so be it. I just accept that she wasn't meant to be with me and even if I did manage to ask her out sooner our relationship may not have progressed to marriage for other reasons.

Edited August 20, 2014 by Darren2013

[ascendotum]

So why should you ask a girl out instead of expecting her to break you out of your shell? Because I will ask her out while you remain the guy that just thinks about it.

 

Correct. This is where the shy guy loses out. While he is looking & waiting for good solid signs she is a sure thing for him, others have moved in to close the deal. Even if the girl liked the shy guy, many will say yes to another viable option that just happens to ask her out, especially the equivalent shy woman. Many women really don't have to make the effort to initiate or try to decipher signs from the shy guy, because even if they are half attractive other guys will be showing more full on attention to her and will ask her out.

[Keenly]

If you take this video and tone it back to about a 3, and try and get through all the "like"s , its not too far off.

[ascendotum]

So I still have a 50/50 chance with her even AFTER another guy asks her out. If I see another guy asking her out it doesn't prove one way or the other how long it's going to last. She may decide after the first date that she doesn't like him for other reasons in spite of his boldness to ask her out. In that scenario I still have more time to think it ver. Boldness or shyness is not the only factor here. .

 

Its less than 50:50. There are a surprising number of women (more so younger) that will go out with the first viable guy that asks them out. If the guys sleeps with her pretty quick, then the woman will just fall into a relationship with him, regardless if he is ideal for her. You are also assuming its just one guy before you who asks her out. While you wait for her to show she is a sure thing for you, there could be a bunch of guys that ask out. A girl can go to a nite club and will have a procession of guys come and approach and try chat her up throughout the night. That's just 1 night.

 

Picky, know what they want women wont just say yes for the first guy that asks them on a date and then for sex, so they will stay single for longer to give you a chance, but these types tend to favor the confident guys rather than the shy guys. So I don't think your odds are any better there. The quieter, sweet natured, easy going, DTE, women will be more open to the shy guy, but they are also open to any guy that gets his foot in first and don't stay single for long.

[Darren2013]

Its less than 50:50. There are a surprising number of women (more so younger) that will go out with the first viable guy that asks them out. If the guys sleeps with her pretty quick, then the woman will just fall into a relationship with him, regardless if he is ideal for her. You are also assuming its just one guy before you who asks her out. While you wait for her to show she is a sure thing for you, there could be a bunch of guys that ask out. A girl can go to a nite club and will have a procession of guys come and approach and try chat her up throughout the night. That's just 1 night.

 

Picky, know what they want women wont just say yes for the first guy that asks them on a date and then for sex, so they will stay single for longer to give you a chance, but these types tend to favor the confident guys rather than the shy guys. So I don't think your odds are any better there. The quieter, sweet natured, easy going, DTE, women will be more open to the shy guy, but they are also open to any guy that gets his foot in first and don't stay single for long.

 

 

The point is if she happens to be single let's say after I've waited 2 years to break the ice then I would still have a chance. Granted it's a gamble but if the timing happens to be right again and she goes through various dates and then has a dry spell a few years down the road and at that time I muster up enough courage to ask her out she isn't going to hold it against me that I waited too long to ask her. At least that won't be the reason she's not interested.

 

And every man and woman goes through periods of dry spells in dating. It's not like she's sleeping with a guy 365 days a year. There may still be small windows of opportunity in between her dating escapades to make a move.

[Imported]

The risk of other guys asking her out is not enough of an incentive to give me a push to ask a woman out much faster. Besides just because another dude asks her out it doesn't mean he's asking her to marry him. He's just asking her out on the date. That date may be successful and turn into a long term relationship and marriage between the two of them or it might not.

 

So I still have a 50/50 chance with her even AFTER another guy asks her out. If I see another guy asking her out it doesn't prove one way or the other how long it's going to last. She may decide after the first date that she doesn't like him for other reasons in spite of his boldness to ask her out. In that scenario I still have more time to think it over. Boldness or shyness is not the only factor here.

 

So yeah the risk is there but it doesn't mean a definitive blow to my chances just because I take longer to think about it. And if the other guy is successful in getting her to marry him in the long run then so be it. I just accept that she wasn't meant to be with me and even if I did manage to ask her out sooner our relationship may not have progressed to marriage for other reasons.

 

 

WTF

 

 

You're just asking her out. You don't even know her. What is up with all the marriage talk. Not a question, don't answer.

 

 

How is the way you are currently going about it working out for you.

[Darren2013]

It works for me in the sense that I don't have to worry about getting shot down and saving myself humiliation.

[Darren2013]

This is true and most women do. Just not how you're thinking.

 

When I see a girl that I sometimes catch the vibe that she likes me, but any effort I put towards her results in a blank return or a mask of indifference/uninterest, I treat her as if she has no interest in me and well, that's it. I am not here to break her out of her shell.

 

Here is the reason why a shy girl should actually try and not expect me to look past her mask of indifference........it's because there are other women out there that I deem just as viable and they will return my interest with interest and my dealings with them is nice and enjoyable for us both and not some one sided ordeal. This is not to say that all shy girls are hard to deal with. Just the "ice queens" that are not really ice queens, but are just shy. I'm not gonna bother with you.

 

 

So why should you ask a girl out instead of expecting her to break you out of your shell? Because I will ask her out while you remain the guy that just thinks about it.

 

 

 

Well that's a choice you make to not get involved with shy women but don't assume that all men would think like you. While you decide to pass on her there may be another man that comes along tomorrow and pursues her and has alot more patience with her than you ever will.

 

And if you were to find out months down the road that she's going out with a guy who was more patient in dealing with her shyness don't be surprised if you find your interest level going up through the roof because now you know you can't have her because some other guy was willing to take the time to break her out of her shell. Not saying that it would definitely happen but that's a possibility. I'm sure it happens alot because for some reason even if men don't want a particular woman we also don't want any other man to have her. A guy doesn't have the patience to deal with a woman's shyness and then next thing you know she finds a guy who is patient with her and they end up together and the guy who dumped her before wants her back simply because he can't have her now.

 

If it was revealed to me that a shy woman liked me then she would be the perfect match for me because I'm shy too. So it turns out I might just be that guy who ends up with that shy woman instead of you. I would hope you don't try to steal her back from me if you happen to see both of us together in the streets.

[Imported]

I have no problem with shy women.

 

I have a problem with a shy women that I believe is interested, but when I either flirt with her or straight up approach her, she doesn't return favorable behaviour to me and purposely acts like there is nothing.

 

Could it all be in my head that she even had any interest? Sure, absolutely. But I actually do well on gauging womens interest.

 

Also, I am not worried about a girl that I don't know beyond the normal "hope she has a good life.." deal. I have a lot of patience for women that returns my interst, that shows me something. But like someone else said earlier on this thread "Women are just as responsible for going after what they want as men are". And like I said, I agree with that, but not like the way you think. Men should be the ones that go up to women. The woman should encourage and be recepetive.