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My father-in-law and the "Warden"


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red-rose-in-winter

Tell me if this sounds more like a prison sentence than a marriage:

 

A little background first: My husband's father (who I'll call "Danny" is divorced from "Irene" my husband's mother). "Danny" is re-married to "Rose."

 

My husband and I recently went out to dinner with "Danny" and "Rose." We all rode together in their car. The whole time "Danny" was trying to drive, "Rose" would NOT let go of his right hand!!! I mean, the poor man couldn't even switch hands on the steering wheel to maybe hang his left hand out of the window and steer the car with his right!!!

 

When we got to the restaurant, she constantly hung onto him while he was trying to eat!!! The woman was constantly in his face!!! Afterwards, we all went to a shopping mall, and walked around and looked around in all the little shops. "Rose" would NOT let go of "Danny" to let him go look at stuff in the stores that HE wanted to look at. My husband and I just looked at each other and shook our heads. :rolleyes:

 

I like to hold hands with my husband, but "Rose" acts like "Danny" is just going to run away if she doesn't keep a tight hold on him!!! She even gets mad at "Danny" if he talks to his own brothers and sisters at family get-togethers!!! That is just stupid!!! What's the whole point of visiting your family if you don't TALK to them??!!! :mad: She even got mad and grabbed him by the hand at HIS mother's house just because "Danny's" family was dancing and she didn't like it!!! I mean, GIVE ME A BREAK!!!

 

My husband says that his Dad acts like a robot now. It's almost like all the life has drained out of him. Even at our wedding a few years ago, "Danny" didn't even speak to "Irene" (my husband's mother). I know that they are divorced, but he could've at least acknowledged her!!! It's almost like "Danny" is even afraid to lift up his head without "Rose's" permission.

 

Does anyone else know a couple like this? I just think it's sad the way "Rose" is treating "Danny."

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well obviously, *Danny* sees something else in *Rose* to stick it out. Maybe she's got a few issues she needs to deal with, where does that play into your business? I'm sorry, I just don't understand. Nonetheless, it appears to be *Rose and *Danny's* problem to work on it. Why are you even worrying about their relationship? Why does it seem to bother you more than the Dad? If it's something bothering your husband, then he should have a chat with Dad. As long as your relationship is finem then that's something the dad and Rose need see. He (Danny) apparently likes it, doesn't mind it, if he's still with her.

 

Just my .02

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Well, I think her husband´s dad is family and as a family member she´s concerned about his life. I think some people are stupid enough to fall for the wrong person and do not always see the reason why they feel low or bad. Sometimes they´re blind to their partner´s abusive behavior, lack of affection, overprotection or clinginess. Sometimes they get too deep into something and then it´s good to have someone close to you who sees things from the outside and is more objective. I wouldn´t necessarily go and tell him that Rose is clingy and totally nuts (my opinion), I would be open to help him if I see that this really turns into a problem.

 

My 2 cents.

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red-rose-in-winter

Yeah, I guess what goes on in Danny and Rose's relationship is their business. By reading your replies, I realized that everyone sees things differently when it comes to what you will or won't put up with in a relationship.

 

I guess Danny sees something in Rose because they have been married for 7 years now. He's the one that has to live with her.

 

I really didn't mean for my post to sound mean. I just wondered if anyone else knew of a couple similar to Danny and Rose. To me she seems very controlling. It's like he can't have any outside interests except what she wants to do. Danny has given up all of his hobbies, and he doesn't eat a lot of his favorite foods because she doesn't like them.

 

 

But anyway.... thanks for your input.

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I didn't mean to sound like I was bi*chng.......but looking at the other side of it, I haven't seen the guy side being so submissive like your FIL, I've known wives who were because of their husbands jealousy, and that's so sad, where the wife will not look at another guy, or talk down to the ground when they speak to you, or the husband will be walking holding the wife so close she looks almost fearful to go anywhere else, or say that he's hurting her. it's totally a screwed up relationship they have, she's like a frightened little mouse....but as long as it ain't me........I think for my friend, I think she's just way too afraid to leave the relationship, so she does what he wants. She doesn't think for herself, and seems like everytime he talks, she jumps.

 

Who wants that kind of relationship.......I guess some people are just afraid to step out of the box.......... and think for themself.........I don't understand that.

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It's like he can't have any outside interests except what she wants to do. Danny has given up all of his hobbies, and he doesn't eat a lot of his favorite foods because she doesn't like them.

 

My mother is **exactly** like this with my father, except for the 'hanging onto him'part. She is also very jealous (without *any* reason) and expects my father (and other members of the family) to put up with stuff she herself would never accept from others.

My parents claim to love each other, and I think they really do.

 

 

What is really important is : is Danny happy with Rose?

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