The one that got away

[ASG]

Do you have one?

 

I'm posting this, as I was replying to another thread about where you met your GF/BF/Wive/Husband and it occurred to me that everyone I've dated in the past few years I've met at work.

 

That reminded me of a guy I had a brief fling with, about 3 years ago, while we were both working on a cruise ship.

 

We met at the joiners party of my first cruise, so just a couple of days after I joined the ship and hit it off immediately.

We had an intense but brief "thing". We ended up not proceeding with said "thing" because it was getting too intense and neither of us wanted something serious, since we were both leaving the ship in a few weeks, never to see each other again.

 

I think the fact that I couldn't "have" him made me want him even more. In fact, I'm sure of it. Those weeks when we were no longer !seeing" each other, but still hanging out every night made me long for him something fierce!

 

We ended up having one last "Hurrah" on my last night on the ship and have not seen or spoken to each other since.

 

For some reason, every now and again, he pops into my mind and I wonder "what if?"

 

Not pursuing it was the right thing to do, I'm sure of it... he's Canadian and works for several cruise ship companies, being placed on different ships every few months, I am based in London and at the time working for only one company, where he wouldn't be placed in, in the near future, at all.

 

But I can't help but wonder how he is, what he's doing and what would happen if we saw each other again.

 

 

So, do you have a "one that got away"? What's the story?

[d0nnivain]

I met him in grad school. We ended up living together for almost a decade. I wanted to get married; he kept insisting that it was just a piece of paper. Finally after coming to terms with the fact that he was never going to marry me & that outside of the bedroom our relationship was pretty dysfunctional I finally left. We did date for about a year after I moved out but before we officially called it quits.

 

When I did eventually get married even though it was relatively smooth sailing, I realized that the few bumps DH & I had on the way to the altar would have torn me & the other guy apart had we even tried it. That realization was my closure.

 

I do know where he is now but choose to avoid him. We will always have a number of professional colleagues in common so if I wanted it, I could always get an update. When we last saw each other about 6 years ago he was aware of certain professional accomplishments of mine because he congratulated me on them.

[somedude81]

The one girl that I've wrote over and over about here.

 

I really felt that there was a future there.

[gaius]

She actually called me yesterday. I sent her to voice mail.

 

She was just one of the many girls I've dated that isn't meant to stay with someone for a long time. One of those wild horses not meant to be tamed. There was something special about this one though. =/ I do miss her sometimes but I'll never admit that to her. Which is probably part of the reason she's still calling me occasionally.

[shz93]

The one that got away.

 

She was amazing. I ****ed it up and regret it every second of every day.

 

She was the one.

[learning_slowly]

The one that got away.

 

She was amazing. I ****ed it up and regret it every second of every day.

 

She was the one.

 

There is no 1. There's only a person who clicks with you as there will be a million others in this world. If there was a 1, it would imply that your life was predetermined and any of your choices had no effect. If that's the case, then by breaking up, she cannot be the one either.

[Noproblem]

...................................................

maybe

[FrostBlaze]

The one that got me on these forums, talk about her in my first 2-5 topics xD.

Been a year since then.

[2.50 a gallon]

l_s

 

Million?

 

In my lifetime, I don't think that I have even come close to meeting a million people, and then about half were men

 

Meeting that special someone does not happen all that often. In my 20's, when I was most socially active, other than my high school crush, I was 27 when I finally met my Ex-fiancé and fell in love. And I was looking. Being the only one of a dozen grand children who was able to pass on the family name, I was getting some pressure from my family.

 

 

I am not sure of the numbers, but surely up until that time I had met several thousands of women, and dated several dozen maybes. But none came close to her.

 

It just doesn't happen everyday. I am retired, and as a wild guess, during my lifetime I met some where around a dozen women, that with the right circumstances I might have fallen in love with. But right out of the box, half of them were not attracted to me.

[acrosstheuniverse]

There have been a couple of guys I was absolutely mad crazy about, adored, and who dumped me outta the blue at what felt like a point in our relationship where I never saw it coming. Man, it hurt. It took a lot to get over the first one as we were living together for two years and close to each other's families, the second one I got over more quickly as it was only a six month thing but I still can't bear to put myself in a position where I might come across him.

 

What's nice though is that I'm at a time in my life now (two years since two year guy dumped me and a year since six month guy dumped me) where I feel like my world has opened right up. I'm weeks away from graduating and qualifying in my field and job hunting up and down the country, finally I'm not tied to my hometown for a relationship, for family, for anything. I can finally go where I want and do what I want. I met an amazing man in January who makes me infinitely happier than either of those guys, the way he treats me is heaven every day and he's 20 times more committed. The second I said I was thinking about job hunting further afield he was straight onboard with moving with me, and so we are both relocating to a new city in a week. I know it's a huge step for a seven month relationship but we've spent every night together since around March and I dunno, I guess it just feels so right.

 

Looking back I think about if I'd stayed with either of those men. Right now I'd be so torn, neither of them would have wanted to come with me, and I'd probably have been so torn by love that I wouldn't have wanted to leave. But there aren't any jobs in my field in my city so it would have been a career or love decision, and my job is everything to me (it's in the field of helping people) so I'd either have been stopping myself from following my passion or breaking up with a man that I loved (can't see the LDR thing being for me).

 

So it's nice, just to come to that realisation, that for now at least everything worked out exactly right. New job, new career, new qualification, new city and life, new flat with the amazing new boyfriend. I know it could go wrong at any point because it has in the past and sometimes I get a pang of huge fear in case it all collapses but in the here and now, whatever life brings, I'm so happy. And such a huge part of that (not all!) is down to the new guy, who I'd never have gotten with if the other men hadn't left me. And it gives me faith that if this relationship breaks down too, I can still go on to find someone new. I'm only 26 and I don't love easily yet I've been in love five times since I began dating at 18, either fleeting intense ridiculously passionate relationships that never went anywhere or two-four year cohabiting relationships and a couple month-year long relationships in between. I'm pretty sure there's no 'the one', just lots of ones.

Edited August 11, 2014 by acrosstheuniverse

[MissBee]

I think things work as they should generally.

 

The one that got away to me implies I messed up somehow and "lost them." I don't have that. But I do have one that walked away and would come back then keep walking. In some ways we were a great match and I used to always want us to give our relationship a 100% chance instead of halfhearted attempts and the back and forth drama...but it never happened because of him.

 

I think if anything he'll be the one to look back and feel like I got away. But I really believe if you've given someone an open invitation into your life over and over and they fudge it up each time or choose to walk away, it's probably for the best, as if it were meant to be it would have been.

 

So for me....no I don't have someone who got away.

Edited August 11, 2014 by MissBee

[NYWoman]

I drove him away.

My first H was by far the greatest man I have ever known. Everything he tried he was great at. And especially in the sack, the man should write a book. But what did I know, as he was only the fourth male, first man that I had been intimate with. After getting a career job, I let the words if my male (read men) co-workers go to my head. When my Ex caught me cheating he was gone so fast he left a vapor trail. And even then I did not wake up to what I had lost until I saw him with one of my friends. Learn me for bragging how good he was in bed.

In order to get over him I moved back to the east coast to live with my father, where I eventually met and married, my second husband. A waste of 20 years until the two boys moved out, when I moved back to the city where I met my first EX to live near my mom.

I thought that I was well over him, until I spotted him driving around in an old pick-up truck, several years ago. Wake up call was this holiday when he walked through the dining area of our favorite Mexican food restaurant, with a stunningly beautiful woman. He was gorgeous, nicely trimmed all white short beard, framed by long silver and white locks falling down to the middle of his back, add a cowboy hat and boots and you get the picture.

Every since I moved here, I noticed my dream house, it just makes me feel good to drive by and dream. That is until a couple of days later, when I took my grandson out to look at the holiday lights, and I discovered that damn pick up truck parked up under the car port. Yep some long legged beautiful woman is screwing my man in my dream house.

[Meritocracy]

Met her at an occupy wall street rally. She brought her flute to one of our jam sessions and sat down next to me while I was on the drums. There was just some kind of magical energy between us from the start. We would spend hours alone together in my tent talking after dark about everything and it seemed like we almost never disagreed. Really intense, never had a connection like that before. But my parents were always hostile to me dating a girl of her race and it ended up creating enough tension that she finally called it quits.

 

Still regret not standing up for her more and just going for what I wanted but what's done is done.

[Absinthe]

Met him in the queue for university enrolment. We had eight tumultuous on-off years after that. But he was always such hard work. I felt as if we were always on the cusp of being something more, but he would always pull away. Then come back. Conveniently when I was taken or travelling.

 

I don't know if I think he "got away", I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I'd like to think the romantic thing, that he couldn't handle his ***** and was being manipulated by family members. But another part of me just knows, deep down, that we were never meant to be any more than just a shallow fling.

[Sweetnothing]

With mine it turned out to be a situation where I was actually projecting a huge fantasy and he wasn't really that great. I was obsessed with him for over a year after we stopped seeing each other. He would text and call me and make plans but always blew me off. He knew exactly what to say to keep me hooked. He even told me he loved me about 3 months after he fell off the grid. We were so compatible in person I thought he'd come around eventually. He never did. He would get mad if I started seeing someone new, but would never make a move when I was single. Finally I resolved to let him go and never looked back. I blocked his number and removed him from all social media. He's still on the same dating site as me so I know he's still single, but I refuse to get sucked back in. I spent too many months crying to my friends about how I just KNEW he was the one. I even saw a psychic about it even though I don't really believe in that kind of stuff. She told me exactly what I wanted to hear naturally which spun things out of control for a very long time. I'm over him now but I admit that I still to some degree feel we would be very good together if he was mature enough to settle down. It's pathetic, I know.

[Philosoraptor]

I thought I had one that got away, it was a short relationship of only a couple months.

 

Then I met my wife and realized all I would have lost had things worked out back then. It wasn't one that got away, it was thank goodness it ended; as if life had turned out any other way I wouldn't have my wonderful wife now.

[MissBee]

I thought I had one that got away, it was a short relationship of only a couple months.

 

Then I met my wife and realized all I would have lost had things worked out back then. It wasn't one that got away, it was thank goodness it ended; as if life had turned out any other way I wouldn't have my wonderful wife now.

 

This is what I believe!

 

I think if someone isn't in your life anymore, keep looking forward as chances are they weren't your last or even best chance at love.

[littleplanet]

This is what I believe!

 

I think if someone isn't in your life anymore, keep looking forward as chances are they weren't your last or even best chance at love.

 

 

Ah yes.

The one that got away compared to the one who didn't.

I only ever had one of the former (but I guess that's defined by the term itself, is it not?)

I was very young, and the folly of youth was all to blame.

 

But then, youth has a remarkable resilience (which astonishes me no end now, to remember!)

 

Yet.....as a songster, I have always been given to bending an ear for the stories told - the most tragic of epics in this human comedy.

 

I'm lucky to know that this one who got away so very long ago has lived a good life, too.

No-one got stuck.

[2.50 a gallon]

I was 27, and though I was very socially active, and dated many ladies, I had began to wander, what was wrong with me, why can't I find that special lady and fall in love.

Then when I did meet her, it was love at first sight, she looked like a young Sofia Loren. She was but 22, and she flat told me I was too old, too short, too poor, (she was dating two suits, one with lots of family money and political influence), and too white.

After several months of trying, I finally got the chance to take her fishing, and that was all it took. We caught fish, took them back to my place for a fish fry, a bottle of wine later, and I took her home sevaral hours later, ater we took a shower. The next day the two suits were let go, she was mine. We fell deeply in passionately and deeply in love, no one has since come close to the depth of feeling that we shared.

The two white proved to be our down fall. Almost everybody in her family accepted me, in fact her mom, who loved the song "Blue Spanish Eyes" was very open about her wanting a grand daughter with blue eyes, which I could possibly provide.

The exception was her older sister, who did not like that her younger sister was dating a non hispanic.

A year and a half in the relationship, I got her fathers blessing, and bought her a ring. To this day, 4 decades later, she is still the only woman what I have ever asked to marry me. As for setting a date, it would be sometimes in the next year

That is when older sister swung into action, first she moved from her small home town to our large city and began to stir the pot, trying to break us up. Several times I was accused by her sister as having been seen with another woman. Only one time was that true, and then it was my sister.

My ex-fiance, kept pushing for us to set a date, but I refused until we got the problem with her sister resolved.

On Sunday morning, about a year and a half later, while trimming my hair after a night of loving, she announced, that she was finished, we were done, she gave me back her ring, and began to pack her things. At first I protested just a little, then said to heck with it, if she loves me she will come back, and proceeded to help her pack, and this only seemed to make her mad and madder. She was really steaming, as I helped her carry her boxes down to her car. The last thing she had to say to me, was something along the lines, of you dance funny.