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Should i tell a guy i've been speaking to online that i am overweight?


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We first started speaking about a month ago on Twitter. He's in a small band who are just starting out. I know he is who he says he is as he initially contacted me privately through his bands account, after i complimented their new single. After that, he contacted me on his personal account.

 

Ever since then, we've spoke every day. Usually for at least 5 hours a day. Apart from a close friend, i've never felt this comfortable speaking to someone before. Our conversations usually consist of personal things about our life, innocent flirting and then recently, the conversation has steered to more sexual topics, which i'm fine with.

 

2 days ago however, we began sexting. No photos, just words. This was completely unlike me, i'm usually nervous about things like this, but it felt comfortable. I get the impression he wants to meet. We stay roughly 4 hours away from each other. I'm extremely nervous about meeting. I'm fairly sure if we were to meet, i would still like him the same. The problem is, i don't know how to go about telling him (if i should) about my weight.

 

I don't want either myself or him traveling and then him being shocked and surprised. I would completely understand if he wasn't interested in me in a romantic way, that's understandable. Everyone has preferences. I just feel that we have a connection, even as a friendship and i wouldn't want to lose that. I just don't know how to approach this. The photos i have posted are myself, they're only photos of my face however. I've not lied about my weight, just haven't told him.

 

With him being in a band, they'll begin touring soon. There's a good chance they'll come here, so i couldn't exactly not go.

 

It could just be innocent flirting, but it feels different lately.

 

I would really appreciate some input. What would you do if you were in my situation? OR what would you want if you were in his position?

 

I'm smart enough to know that if we were to meet up, i would do it in a public place, during the day.

 

Thanks

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I think it's probably best to let him know - as you said, people have their preferences. You don't want to build this up, only to be shot down upon meeting.

 

Perhaps ask him to send a couple of photos to you, and reply with a body shot of some sort if you are comfortable. Or, mention it casually. Easy way to let him know, without having to come out and "admit" it. It's a body type, not herpes.

 

Hope all goes well...good luck! :)

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I would definitely want this out there prior to meeting. I'm not sure where you are posting pictures, but I would just casually add at least one full body shot where he can see it. No need to bring it up in conversation, but this may be a subtle way to put it out there. Another suggestion is get a full body picture of you when you are doing something fun and send it to him under the guise of you just sending him the pic of you doing the activity.

 

 

This way if he is not interested in a romantic aspect, you would still have a chance at the friendship you say you would be ok with.

 

 

I know it sucks to be judged on your weight, but I would rather face the rejection prior to meeting because in person can really be brutal. Plus, you will be so nervous that he is going to judge you based on your weight, you will struggle to enjoy yourself at that first meeting.

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Ninjainpajamas

You should send him a few pictures that reveal your whole figure. It doesn't need to be revealing itself, but he'll get an idea of your size if they're just normal pictures without any weird angles or where you look much better/skinnier than you would in real life like most people post on social media.

 

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, just say hey thought I'd send you a few pics of me...I mean guys never really need a reason for pictures if they've never met you, they aren't going to ask why or care much either way.

 

So just keep it at that, and if he continues to contact you then don't worry about it. I think it's better before you met, because if he isn't attracted to you because of your weight he may be disconnected on the actual meet, he may ignore you or play stand-offish so it's easier than trying to figure that out and being confused than accepting now that he won't be interested.

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I also vote for exchanging pictures to let him draw his own conclusions rather then making some announcement.

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It's gonna suck having to wait and see what he thinks after you send them. But it's better just to bite the bullet and get it over with. =/

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I've done a little bit of online dating years ago, and being a curvier girl it's something I have always been upfront about personally because there's nothing worse than building something up in your mind, to find them completely unattracted to you because you're not a size 6! It's always worked well for me having said that! None of the guys I've dated have ever cared that I was bigger (I'm not that big, just a little chubby :)

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I also vote for exchanging pictures to let him draw his own conclusions rather then making some announcement.

 

Ditto.

 

It is mind boggling to me that someone needs to announce they're overweight or put some disclaimer.

 

Has he announced anything about his physical appearance to you?

 

I would simply ask to exchange some photos and even Skype so that you know what the other looks like. OR simply meet up...if he never contacts you again, it doesn't even have to be because of being overweight, could be anything, then that's that but I wouldn't make it a big deal personally to announce or declare this.

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You can't hide yourself. I agree with the others, let him know rather sooner than later. Photos would be a good idea too.

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