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Do modern women hit on men or approach men first?


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I rarely get him on by ladies. Gotta still do all the approaching.

 

The odd time, a woman will stop me, ask me what I'm reading, what I'm drinking in my travel mug, or make a compliment about some item of clothing that I'm wearing. Don't really know if she's hitting on me or just being friendly.

 

In the past when I tried following up on what I thought were hints, I was totally led in the wrong direction. Girl wasn't hitting on me at all or even flirting. Just being nice I guess which I really don't mind but don't understand either.

 

Makes me think sometimes that women only talk to or approach men who they want absolutely nothing from or feel safe that he won't ask her out on a date. The conversation has more to do with her wanting to kill time rather than being serious about seeing the guy who she started up a conversation with.

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My biggest regret was a very very beautiful looking girl who showed clear interest in me in a cafe during lunch, she was eating a sandwich but just kept looking across at me (we were eating on a bar table sat around 2 metres apart). I was in a terrible mood that day, didn't even want to talk to her. When she was about to finish eating, she said "it's quite cold in here isn't it?" (Maybe to get a convo started). I said "yeah", and then the most awkward 10 seconds ever occurred! She just sat there smiling at me! I had no idea what was happening, I just continued browsing on my phone. She looked a bit lost and then just packed up and walked off. I told my friend about this and he said apparently she might have been hitting on me lol It didn't even cross my mind, I guess I was too busy thinking about something else.

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Sure!

 

Though I have never been the type to approach someone I don't know and ask for a phone number. The people I hit on are people I know or have been introduced to.

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My biggest regret was a very very beautiful looking girl who showed clear interest in me in a cafe during lunch, she was eating a sandwich but just kept looking across at me (we were eating on a bar table sat around 2 metres apart). I was in a terrible mood that day, didn't even want to talk to her. When she was about to finish eating, she said "it's quite cold in here isn't it?" (Maybe to get a convo started). I said "yeah", and then the most awkward 10 seconds ever occurred! She just sat there smiling at me! I had no idea what was happening, I just continued browsing on my phone. She looked a bit lost and then just packed up and walked off. I told my friend about this and he said apparently she might have been hitting on me lol It didn't even cross my mind, I guess I was too busy thinking about something else.

 

Man, if that is your biggest regret, I am so jealous of you :p

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ThaWholigan
My biggest regret was a very very beautiful looking girl who showed clear interest in me in a cafe during lunch, she was eating a sandwich but just kept looking across at me (we were eating on a bar table sat around 2 metres apart). I was in a terrible mood that day, didn't even want to talk to her. When she was about to finish eating, she said "it's quite cold in here isn't it?" (Maybe to get a convo started). I said "yeah", and then the most awkward 10 seconds ever occurred! She just sat there smiling at me! I had no idea what was happening, I just continued browsing on my phone. She looked a bit lost and then just packed up and walked off. I told my friend about this and he said apparently she might have been hitting on me lol It didn't even cross my mind, I guess I was too busy thinking about something else.

Oh man, I've had this happen to me before. The worst part is when she shoots you the look. The look that says a combination of slight frustration and "You fool, you could have had me" :laugh:.

 

I know it too well....

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Man, if that is your biggest regret, I am so jealous of you :p

Haha

 

The worst part is, she wasn't just incredibly beautiful, she seemed shy and was carrying books, so she might have been smart. That combination is a slam dunk for me, a cute, shy and smart girl! I'm sure she would have been on a different level to any girl I knew.

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Personally, I don't. Might seem odd, but I'm already... a rather confrontational personality. If a guy doesn't even dare to talk to me, how would that turn out in a relationship if we ever got that far? Me doing the talk while the guy hides behind my back? :confused:

Of course as mentioned already there are people who just have different things on their mind, but it's also never happened to me that something like dialogue happened from just asking stuff like "Hey, could you give me that ... over there? Thanks!"

 

Timing is quite the factor.

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Sure!

 

Though I have never been the type to approach someone I don't know and ask for a phone number. The people I hit on are people I know or have been introduced to.

 

Never cold approach a guy that you find attractive or a guy who locked eyes with you at first glance?

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My biggest regret was a very very beautiful looking girl who showed clear interest in me in a cafe during lunch, she was eating a sandwich but just kept looking across at me (we were eating on a bar table sat around 2 metres apart). I was in a terrible mood that day, didn't even want to talk to her. When she was about to finish eating, she said "it's quite cold in here isn't it?" (Maybe to get a convo started). I said "yeah", and then the most awkward 10 seconds ever occurred! She just sat there smiling at me! I had no idea what was happening, I just continued browsing on my phone. She looked a bit lost and then just packed up and walked off. I told my friend about this and he said apparently she might have been hitting on me lol It didn't even cross my mind, I guess I was too busy thinking about something else.

 

Oh man I've been there before and didn't realize her intentions until she was long gone. Stunning hotty with all the curves and a face that would make every mom jealous that they didn't produce her.

 

For some strange reason, NOT best knowing for myself, I blew her off without a care. It's when you get home and think about the people you encountered through another day in the life is when you remember her and say to yourself, what in tarnation was I thinking about to let a woman like that pass me by.

 

I can honestly say I tried to find her with repeated visits to the same cafe at the same time. No success of course.

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Modern women are the same as women for centuries. We give little smile and hold eye contact for a second to two. Not sure if 'hitting on' is the right phase but it is our way of saying: Hi, I'm here. I hope you come and talk to me'.

 

Sometimes that look is for the numbers game only. Women like to see if they still got it so they'll make eye contact to lure a guy in with no real intentions of accepting his advances.

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compulsivedancer

Yes, but most men have no idea how to read our signals, so unless you get the rare woman who actually asks the man out clearly, it doesn't necessary do any good.

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There can be a whole variety of motivations at play. Maybe the girl is bored and just social. Maybe she's looking for some form of approval from a guy. Maybe she started dripping the moment she saw you. The safe bet is always to hit on her though. Worst comes to worst, you get an ego boost from being approached and she gets one from being hit on.

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2.50 a gallon

Yes, it still happens to me, and I am retired.

 

 

When I met my current GF she was living with another man. When they broke up a couple of years later, I got turned down a couple of times. But we did exchange numbers, about a month later, she called me and asked me over for dinner. That was the start, and it is coming up on 19 years.

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It has nothing at all to do with modern women.

 

Women very rarely hit on men or approach them first.

 

Though men who are better looking than most, get hit on more often than other men.

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Bruce Leigh
That's not my experience. I've had scores of guys over the decades read my signals just fine. Just smile and look at them. Men and women have been pairing up by the millions in our society over the decades.

 

My two daughters could go clubbing for a year without spending a cent. They just have to give that little smile. It's become a joke amongst us. My boyfriend gives them each twenty dollars and makes them promise to spend it before they come home.

 

Ha ha, men cotton on to that little trick eventually, at least the smart ones:D

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Ive been hit on countless times and the tab has been picked up. I actually floated through this evening without opening the old wallet. I am so happy the Victorian times are over.

 

It's not a trick. I still have wise older men offering to buy me drinks. It's just a way to open the discussion with us. My daughters and I could float through life being wined and dined every night. However, none of it compares to just cuddling up with my special guy on the sofa.
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2.50 a gallon

sd81

 

 

My experience is totally the opposite, I was short and skinny, and just average looks, and yet over my life time I was hit on, (my guess) around a hundred times. The majority of them was when I was out dancing. I had a dance partner, and nights when I went out alone, those that had seen me dance with her, would ask me to dance.

My Ex W, 5' 10", strawberry blonde, and foldout material, 15 minutes after meeting me followed me into my apartment, and pulled off her top and asked me if I wanted a taste. That is just one example of dozens.

I have never ever asked a woman to marry me, but over the years was asked to marry them again at least a dozen times.

I have been out of the dating scene for coming up on 20 years, and am still being hit on.

Maybe part of the reason for my success was I never let me being short bother me, in fact I in some ways I saw it as an advantage. Like a dog who can sense that you are afraid of him, most women can sense a confident man

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Ive been hit on countless times and the tab has been picked up. I actually floated through this evening without opening the old wallet. I am so happy the Victorian times are over.

 

Was it the shoes? It was the shoes, wasn't it?!

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sd81

 

 

My experience is totally the opposite, I was short and skinny, and just average looks, and yet over my life time I was hit on, (my guess) around a hundred times. The majority of them was when I was out dancing. I had a dance partner, and nights when I went out alone, those that had seen me dance with her, would ask me to dance.

My Ex W, 5' 10", strawberry blonde, and foldout material, 15 minutes after meeting me followed me into my apartment, and pulled off her top and asked me if I wanted a taste. That is just one example of dozens.

I have never ever asked a woman to marry me, but over the years was asked to marry them again at least a dozen times.

I have been out of the dating scene for coming up on 20 years, and am still being hit on.

Maybe part of the reason for my success was I never let me being short bother me, in fact I in some ways I saw it as an advantage. Like a dog who can sense that you are afraid of him, most women can sense a confident man

 

I have enjoyed reading your posts. You certainly had a lot of fun, but I think you might be downplaying your looks somewhat or things were a fair bit different in the 70s/80s. IDK. I have friends who like you get bjs or sex while at clubs or have BJ only booty call girls or have girls invite them back to their place in under 1/2 hr on numerous occasions, but they were good looking guys with athletic physiques. I've been skinny vs bulked and it made a huge difference. Yes confidence was a factor, but it really only came on after I put on weight, when I started to get ons + women coming up to me to initiate conversations. Success -> confidence, which is a catch 22 for some guys.

 

Your dancing skills for sure would have helped. Its a definite bonus if you hang out in clubland. I had a look at dance lessons at one point, but they all seemed to be for salsa or old time dance styles, and not house/techno/top 40 R&B style, and I just don't naturally have good rhythm & was self conscious when dancing unless I really drunk or the dance floor was packed and dark/strobby..

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Once a gal approached me in a club because she had to get passed me to grab her purse off of a table. As she passed, she said "I'm not flirting with you, I just need to grab my bag".

 

Weirdest pickup-line I've ever been given.

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Smilecharmer
Once a gal approached me in a club because she had to get passed me to grab her purse off of a table. As she passed, she said "I'm not flirting with you, I just need to grab my bag".

 

Weirdest pickup-line I've ever been given.

 

Did it work?

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Did it work?

 

Maybe he should have grabbed the purse and held it up high above his head and said if you give me your number & go on a date with me I'll give you the purse, or what about if he held it up high and when she moves in close to reach up and grab it, he can grab her around the waist and kiss her. That would be a bold move and women love bold cheeky men don't they. ; )

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